


Chase the Light

by redsandman99



Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: M/M, So i'm adding the character death tag to be safe, Some messed up stuff happened in this latest chapter and more will probably happen later
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-31
Updated: 2015-05-02
Packaged: 2018-02-15 13:48:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 38
Words: 143,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2231397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redsandman99/pseuds/redsandman99
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the aftermath of their destructive relationship, Dean is trying to stay moved on with Seth and Roman. Meanwhile, Bray is faced with having to try to do the same for the sake of his family. But old feelings die hard and the call of Dean won't leave him be. The sequel to The Darkness Inside.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Once upon a time I wrote a one shot that spawned into a story. And now we're here at the sequel I never expected to write. And if we've learned anything from the first go around, it's that we should all just buckle up now because this ride will surely get crazy.

"How do you feel today Dean?"

The therapy sessions started with the same damn line every single time. Dean shifted around on the couch his ass had grown so used to and tried not to be annoyed by Dr. Walsh's question. "I'm fine," he grunted. He wasn't nearly as convincing as he tried to be. His voice was low and groggy, working alongside with his disheveled appearance to show how exhausted he was. He hadn't slept more than a couple of hours the night before. After four nights of peace the nightmares were back and driving him completely mad. He couldn't figure out what had triggered them this time. Maybe it had been the weird bearded guy he and Seth had seen in the store. Or maybe the Criminal Minds episode Roman had been watching had hit a little too close to home. Or maybe all his therapy and determination to be over all the bullshit that had happened with Bray wasn't working out the way he wanted it to. In the six months since the final confrontation with Bray he had tried to throw himself into a normal existence. He and Seth were back to wrestling on Raw and Smackdown though they were off house shows so they could have more time at home to help with Roman's recovery. Roman's parents moved in down the street to help him while they were gone. Roman spent hours upon hours in physical therapy, so if Dean wasn't with Dr. Walsh he was with Roman and Seth there. Roman was determined to not only fully walk again but wrestle as well. So far though he couldn't walk without a walker and even then he could only cover very short distances. It drove him crazy and he ended up driving them crazy because his stubbornness was going to get him hurt and set him back further and he just wouldn't listen.

"Did you have nightmares again last night?" Dr. Walsh's voice cut through his thoughts. She was going for the obvious question, wanting to just probe right in and pick at his brain.

"What do you think?" He rubbed a hand over his face.

"Were they ones you've had before or new?"

"I don't know. It all fucking runs together." He shifted around, slumping further down on the couch. "Makes me miss the sleeping pills. I at least didn't like remember the bad dreams with them." He chewed on his lower lip. He had stopped taking them and any other medication he had been given because he knew all too well he was just going to get too dependent on it. He had a bad history with addiction, both from a personal standpoint and a family history one. He couldn't get trapped in that cycle again. "I just feel like an asshole. Seth and Roman got enough to worry about as it is. They don't need me fucking having nightmares all night every night again."

"Seth and Roman have told you that they understand. That they don't see you as the burden you think you are."

"I know that." Dean let his eyes wander around the room. There was nothing really interesting to look at but it was better than keeping the eye contact. "But that doesn't fucking make me feel better." He folded his arms over his chest. "Roman's all pissed off because he still can't walk right and it's making Seth and Roman fight." He cringed at the thought. "Seth and Roman don't ever fight."

"Does he ever fight with you?"

He shook his head. "He treats me with kid fucking gloves. But he just gets so frustrated and Seth is just trying to tell him to not push too hard and he bites his head off. And like, it was my ex who fucked up his life. But he just takes it out on Seth and Seth's going to fucking hate me soon."

"Why would Seth hate you?"

"Because Roman won't yell at me too."

"You think Seth's going to blame you for his and Roman's problems."

"Well yeah."

Dr. Walsh just barely stopped herself from taking a long, exasperated breath. "Have you sat down and talked to them about this?"

He shook his head.

"Are you going to?"

He shrugged. He knew she was going to say he needed to but her advice was always easier said than done. There never felt like there was a good time for it and it just felt like a trap for starting a fight. What if Seth really did blame him? The thought of hearing it scared him. And the fact that it scared him made him angry. He didn't want to think or feel like this. Yet these kinds of thoughts still popped into his head, no matter how hard he tried to fight them. Dr. Walsh tried to warn him it would still happen. It was too engrained in his brain to just stop. But how was he supposed to really get better if he couldn't make them stop? Thoughts like that made him fall into traps like he had with Bray.

The session continued on with Dean not being too cooperative in any of his responses. Once time was up he rushed out of the room, barely hearing what she said as he went. He breathed easier once he was outside and he let himself stop and close his eyes. Summer was winding down and they were fast approaching fall. Seth was already on a Halloween kick, wanting to plan ahead for their costume and follow some general theme. Roman wanted to pick his own costume and not stick to a plan and Dean wasn't interested in dressing up at all. The only thing he liked about Halloween was the candy. He hated scary movies, haunted houses, getting dressed up, the fact that it was the time of year it started to get colder...he was perfectly fine going without any of those things.

A car horn sounded and Dean opened his eyes. Seth was waiting for him and doing it rather impatiently. He had forgotten it was him picking him up today instead of Roman's mom. The two of them switched off on who stayed with Roman and who picked up Dean when Dean had his therapy sessions. It made things easier for Seth, who didn't have to feel guilty about not being there enough for one of them. Dean almost wished it was Roman's mom who was getting him today though. She took the hints to leave him alone, unlike Seth who was on his ass the moment he got into the car.

"How'd it go?"

Dean shrugged. "Like usual." He put on his seatbelt and slumped down. "I think I'm past the point of earth shattering self realizations."

"Did you tell her about the nightmares?" Seth asked as he pulled back out on to the road.

"They were mentioned."

"But did you tell her what they were?"

"She fucking knows them all Seth. It was nothing new." Dean didn't want to snap like this. He really didn't. He was just tired. He needed a nice, long, dreamless nap and the fact that he probably wouldn't get one wasn't helping anything. He hated his brain for being the fucked up mess that it was. He hated how black and dark his soul felt. Six months ago he had stood over the comatose Bray and swore he was going to let him go but what he hadn't realized then was that Bray still had a part of him. Bray had taken him and ruined him and he couldn't just be put back together. The glue he was putting over himself didn't make his cracks disappear. They were still there, sometimes feeling like they were healed over and sometimes they were still raw and fresh and throbbing, threatening to push him over the edge. The constant battle with his emotions was tiring for him and everyone around him. "Did you go to the store yet?"

Seth gave him a look for the change of topic but didn't fight it. "No. Kevin took longer at the vet than I thought." Kevin was the little thing (he was so god damn small that Dean didn't consider him to be a real dog) Seth had brought home a couple months ago. He had gone with Naomi and Jimmy to help them pick their own pet and came home with the Yorkie. And he had just been so fucking in love with it that neither Roman or Dean could really yell at him for it. They just rolled with it, both of them agreeing that they would bring home a big dog to their liking the next chance they got. Roman wasn't on board with naming it Killer like Dean wanted but Dean didn't particularly care. Even if they gave it some other name he would still call it Killer and nobody would be able to stop him.

"Can we go?"

"You actually want to shop?"

"Someone has to stop you from buying only shitty things."

Seth rolled his eyes. "My healthier choices are not shitty."

"Uh yeah they are," Dean insisted. He wasn't about to let Seth convince him otherwise. "I want some fucking cookies and Roman does to."

"Roman likes what I pick out and you know it."

"Whatever. I'm still getting my snacks."

Seth rolled his eyes but didn't argue. They rode in silence the rest of the way, splitting up once they were actually at the store. Seth took the cart towards the health food section like always while Dean took another and began to browse around on his own. He grabbed everything and anything that caught his eye. Some of it was grabbed because he really did want it, but other stuff he snagged just because he knew Seth would bitch. Maybe it wasn't the best idea considering the fact that he was afraid that Seth was resenting him for shit but pushing buttons was stuff he was famous for. Before Bray had broken him, he did it all the time to whoever he was with. It was stupid and immature sure, but if it was what the old him would have done, then they would at least be somewhat happy he was doing it wouldn't they?

Nobody really bothered him as he shopped. Living down here had bred familiarity with the locals so only tourists stopped him for autographs. Being left alone was something he really enjoyed. Getting bombarded by people had always freaked him out. He appreciated his fans but some of them got mega intense and too liberal with his hands and he minded that a lot more than when he did when he was younger and more consistently drunk off his ass.

He felt a pair of eyes on him as he tried to decide which kind of Oreos to get. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up but he tried to just shake it off. It was probably just a fan that was too shy for an autograph. or one that liked to stare at his ass. Or maybe it was Seth's super death glare for even thinking about bringing Oreos in the house. But as he put a package of double stuff Oreos in his cart he saw a large, looming figure at the end of the aisle. He turned to face it fully, eyes widening in horror as he realized who it was. Erick Rowan was standing there, clad in his usual green jumpsuit and beat up lamb mask. His head was tilted to the side, eyes burning holes right through Dean. Dean just stared back, his heart hammering inside his chest. _Oh no. Oh no oh no no no no._ He quickly glanced back, expecting to see Harper or even Bray standing behind him. _Don't be Bray. Don't be Bray please..._ even with knowing Bray was still in his coma he couldn't stop the plea from going through his mind. _No don't be Bray. Please god I'll do anything. Just no Bray._

There was no Bray. There was nobody actually. And when he turned back around there was no Rowan either. He blinked several times. Had he just imagined Rowan's presence? Maybe he had. But why would he imagine him of all people? If it were Bray he could think that. Bray haunted him on a regular basis, so hallucinating his presence would make sense. But Rowan? No. He wouldn't think to see Rowan. Rowan had to have been there. He whipped his head around again, looking for any Wyatts. His palms were sweaty and he had to tighten his grip on the cart to keep them from sliding. Seth. He had to find Seth. Seth would be in danger. If Rowan was around then other Wyatts had to be nearby. Maybe they were finally looking to get him for what he did to Bray. Not that it was undeserved but that wouldn't matter to them. Anyone Bray put into his family had their own set of twisted logic. And they all had been so devoted to the bastard. Dean couldn't imagine it being any different now.

"Seth!" He was running now, nearly crashing into people along the way. "Seth!" He finally just pushed the cart aside completely and sprinted to the heath food section. "SETH!"

"Dean?" Seth rounded the corner and Dean barely managed to skid to a stop. "What the hell?" Seth let go of his cart and grabbed Dean by the arms. "What's wrong? What happened?"

"IsawRowan." Dean was talking so fast it was all coming out as one long, extended word. "Hewasherehewasherehe-"

"Dean!" Seth ignored the people staring at them in favor of giving Dean a good, hard shake. "What are you talking about?"

"Sheep fucker!"

"Rowan?"

"He was here!"

"Where?"

"By the-" Dean's eyes widened as he saw the lamb mask poking around the corner. "THERE! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!"

Seth whirled around but he wasn't fast enough. Rowan was gone again and Seth saw absolutely nothing. "Dean..."

"He was there!" Dean stomped his foot, not being able to help the petulant whine that came from his mouth. "Seth he was right fucking there!" He wilted as Seth looked around warily. "I'm not crazy. Seth I'm not crazy Seth you gotta believe me."

"I do." It was hard to tell though whether Seth did or not though. On the one hand, the Wyatts were creepy enough to come creeping around again. But on the other, Dean was always fragile and jumpy after a bad night like he just had. It would be easy for anyone to believe that he had only imagined the whole thing. "Where's your stuff? We'll pay for everything right now."

"I don't want the fucking stuff you ass. I want to go home."

"And we're going to go home alright? But if sheep fucker thinks I'm going to let us starve to death just because he wants to play games then he's sadly fucking mistaken." Seth reclaimed his cart with one hand and grabbed Dean with his other. "Come on. Let's go."

Dean followed along, eyes darting around nervously. He didn't see Rowan again but he didn't feel any more at ease. He could still feel the eyes on him. Those cold fucking eyes that stayed on him until they were finally in the car and speeding for home.

* * *

Harper looked at the men he had brought with him to Florida. Rowan was missing but Harper suspected he would be back soon. Or at least he would be if he knew what was good for him. Tonight was too important for any of them to mess up. It had been the night they had been working to all these months. It had been the source of constant frustration for everything to get into place but now it was here and he wouldn't let anyone ruin it.

Tonight was the night they were going to retrieve Bray.

It was something they were going to do months ago. Harper had upheaved everyone at the compound once he found a safer place in Mississippi and had been working on the plan to get Bray while everyone got settled down. But before he could enact that plan, someone had made the decision to move Bray from the regular hospital to a prison one. The fact that he had tried to kill the Shield boys hadn't been forgotten so they wanted him somewhere more secure for when he woke up. That put everything Harper had planned down into the depths of hell and he had been forced to start fresh. Getting into a prison hospital was a much harder task. It meant getting people in on the inside and having them gain the trust so when the time came they could strike efficiently. It had frustrated them all but now everything had come together. Joanna, Silas and Elijah had all sent word that tonight should be the night. Another prisoner was being transferred, meaning most of the attention would be on that and off anyone else. They had ironed out the details of the plan, arranging the upcoming death of another prisoner so they could slip in under the guise of collecting that body. They would get Bray in the body bag and wheel him right on out the front door. Risky but they couldn't just leave Bray there any longer. The family needed him back. They trusted him and loved him well enough but he wasn't Bray. Bray was their true leader. He had fallen off the path with his obsession with Dean Ambrose but everyone was certain he would be right again once he woke up. They were looking at his eventual awakening as a rebirth. Harper certainly hoped that would be the case. He didn't know what they would do if Bray still wanted to pursue Dean. There was no guarantee that the obsession would be dead. There wasn't even a guarantee that Bray would wake up even but Harper didn't let himself think like that. He couldn't entertain those thoughts. Not when it was his job to hold everything together.

"You know what we have to do." His voice was quiet. He was emulating Bray without really realizing he was doing it. "He waits for us." He took a good look at every single one of them, watching them nod their heads reverently. "He wants to come home so he can rise again. We must not fail him." His eyes drifted to where Rowan was approaching. "Do you hear that Brother Erick?"

Erick nodded. His sheep mask was getting really dirty and beat up. He went through them so quickly that it was hard to keep up on new ones.

"Do I want to know where you've been?"

A shake of the head was the answer he got.

"You remember what tonight is don't you?" He pulled Erick in the rest of the way, his hand gripping the back of his neck firmly. "You know what we have to do."

Erick nodded. If the grip Luke had on him hurt he didn't let it show.

"Good." Harper knocked his head against Rowan's, his actions putting the others at ease but his eyes telling the other man that they would be talking more about this later. He had a sneaking suspicion as to where Erick had been and he didn't like it. Tormenting Ambrose was not their priority yet. He had only stressed a million times that getting revenge on the Shield boys could come later. Their first priority had been to protect the family, which they had done. And now Bray was their mission.

And after that, once Bray was home safe and sound, if Erick still wanted to skin Dean Ambrose alive then Luke was certainly not going to stop him.


	2. Chapter 2

"So did you actually see Rowan?" Roman's voice wasn't nearly as quiet as he was trying to make it. He was laid out on the couch, still shaky and sweaty from how hard he pushed himself in physical therapy. Seth sat on the floor next to him, neither one of them realizing Dean was hiding behind the doorway. They thought he was off taking a nap, which was what he had told them he was going to do. A lie on his part but he had felt it was necessary. He wanted to hear what Seth was actually going to say to Roman. He wanted to hear Roman's true response. He needed to know if they thought he was crazy or not. Of course he could be called crazy because of a number of things but not this. This had been real. Rowan had been in that store stalking him. He hadn't fucking imagined it.

"No," Seth admitted. He was flipping through a magazine they had laying around. "But that like doesn't mean anything. We're talking about the Wyatts here."

"You got but face."

" _What_?"

"It looks like you're about to say but."

"Oh jesus dude. You had me fucking confused there."

Roman chuckled. "Sorry."

Seth chuckled a little too but quickly grew more serious. "I mean he was on edge though when we were in the car. He didn't sleep last night and you know how he gets. Remember when Kevin knocked over a bunch of shit and he spent three hours hiding in the bathroom because he thought someone was breaking in? He gets terribly fucking irrational when he's had nightmares."

"But why would he see Rowan?" Roman adjusted his position on the couch. "Like if he came running and screaming that it was Bray then I could see him hallucinating that. But Rowan? Erick fucking Rowan?"

"I know." Seth let out a long sigh. "Imagining him doesn't make a lick of fucking sense."

"So he actually saw him. That's what we're agreeing on."

"Yeah. I think that's the safer bet. I'd rather believe him and be wrong than not and have a fucking disaster on our hands."

Dean folded his arms over his chest. So he was going to be believed just for the sake of being safe than sorry. That didn't set entirely well with him.

"So what the fuck do we even do?" Roman snagged up Kevin as he passed by and put him on his chest. "He's in no state for a confrontation with them and I can't protect the both of you like this."

"You act like I couldn't protect us."

"The Wyatts are fucking bigger than you Seth."

"So? I'm faster and smarter. Maybe I couldn't outdo Bray because he was an evil genius but I sure as fuck can outsmart Rowan."

"We just gotta keep Dean away from them."

"No shit. He was fucking freaked when he saw Rowan."

"This isn't what he needs right now. He don't need the setback."

"The nightmares are enough of a setback." Seth rubbed his eyes tiredly. "I don't know what to do for him. I hate saying that. You know I do. But it's like every time we get a step or two forward he then takes two or three back."

"It's going to take time."

"I know I know. It's just...he was damaged goods before Wyatt got his hands on him. We've focused so much on what Bray did but do we even talk about the other stuff that's happened to him? I mean he's had everything fucking done to him. Neglected, abused, raped multiple fucking times-like no fucking wonder we barely got him away from Bray. All his shit was business as fucking usual."

Dean didn't want to listen anymore. He moved away from his listening spot and slipped upstairs. He went into their bedroom and flopped down face first on to the bed. He was so tired but he didn't even think about trying to sleep. It was going to be useless. There was too much shit in his brain to allow any kind of peaceful slumber. Seth had been right with what he said. He had been fucked up long before Bray. Bray had just been another name to the list of people who had hurt him. Of course he wasn't just going to get better. How stupid was he to think it would ever work that way. Even if he got past the issues caused by Bray, there were the ones caused by his mother. And the boyfriends who he watched beat her up and got beat up by as well. Then there was Pete, the boyfriend who came into his room every night looking for a good time. And of course the drug dealer who had raped him against the side of the dumpster every chance he got. That was a fucking winner of a situation right there. Dr. Walsh would have a field day with it.

He rolled off the bed and left the room. He didn't know why he had bothered to go in there. He went to the guest bedroom now, locking the door behind him. They never had company stay over so it was perfect for what he had been doing with it. He went to the bed and got down on his hands and knees, pulling out a half full bottle of vodka. He had promised to stop resorting to drinking so much. And he had meant to keep that promise. He really had. But sometimes it was just too hard. Sometimes he needed the booze and this was one of those times. He twisted the cap off and took a long drink. A shudder went through him as the alcohol went down his throat. It was good though. Chugging it down fast made him feel it a lot faster and it only encouraged him to take another drink. Yes. This was good. Even if Seth or Roman caught him he could get himself too drunk to really care. And maybe he could get himself drunk enough to have a good night's sleep. That was the most important thing. The shit with Rowan, proper coping skills, the fact that he was just a useless mess-all of that could be dealt with if he could just fucking sleep.

* * *

_The warmth from the fire kissed Bray's skin sweetly. Abigail had chosen him to go into the woods with her tonight. The others had all wanted to be chosen but it was him she had picked. It was always him. She saw something in him and had taken him under her wing. He didn't quite understand what she saw or why. He didn't feel like anything special. He was just a boy from the sticks who killed his mother coming into this world and burned his father in a fiery blaze. He wasn't like her. She was the personification of beauty and strength. Those traits were even more prominent tonight. She danced by the fire, swaying to music only she could hear. Her blue dress twirled with every spin. She played near the flames, nearly touching them before pulling them back. He sat on a rock and just watched her. She wanted him to dance with her but he was too entranced by her to get up and do it._

_"Bray." She came to him, her voice saying his name so sweetly. "Bray..."_

_He reached for her, just wanting to touch her._

_"You have to wake up." She stayed just out of reach. "Wake up. Wake up."_

_"I am awake." He had no idea what she was talking about._

_She shook her head. "Wake up. They need you. Wake up."_

_"Wha-" His eyes widened as she suddenly disappeared. The fire went with her and he was left with nothing but the darkness. He looked all around, not understanding where she went. "Abigail?" He got to his feet and tried to ignore the fear rising up inside of him. He didn't get scared damn it. "Abigail!"_

_She didn't come back to him. He stood there for a long time, suppressing a shudder that wanted to rip through him. The sound of snapping twigs caught his attention. He turned towards it, his eyes widening as a lamb appeared before him. It was pure white except for its eyes. The eyes were black as the night that surrounded him. It stared at him, calling him to follow. He just stared back at him. It wasn't rational to think this. It was just an animal. It couldn't want him to follow it anywhere. Yet the longer he stared at it he knew that it did._

_"Go," Abigail's voice whispered. "You can't stay here. Just go."_

_He straightened himself up and walked to the lamb. It waited until he was nearly right on it before turning and walking deeper into the forest. It wanted him to follow it._

_And who was he to disobey?_

* * *

Elijah was the one to let Rowan and Harper in. Joanna had stolen not only the uniforms they were wearing but the gurney they were pushing and the black body bag that laid on top of it. Silas had the car running and was waiting for them to come back out. "Lead the way," Luke ordered after they double checked to make sure the coast was clear.

Elijah nodded before doing what he was told. He wasn't a massive brute of a man like his companions. He was actually shorter than most of the women in the compound and skinnier as well. He didn't even have a beard; his lone bit of facial hair consisted of the tiniest bit of moustache. His wild brown hair had been cut as part of his undercover role. He twitched constantly as they walked. His head turned in every which way until Erick reached forward and smacked the back of it on Luke's command. They didn't need people seeing him act so nervous. He was going to give them away before they even reached Bray.

"How is he doing?" Luke kept his voice as low as possible.

"Stable they say," Elijah answered. "The swelling in his brain is gone. His vitals are strong. He just hasn't woke up."

Luke and Erick took that news in. Bray being in a stable condition was good in terms of not hurting him during the move. But if he was seemingly strong then why hadn't he woke up? What was keeping him under? These questions ran through their minds but there was no time to contemplate the answers. Instead they quickened their pace and Elijah got them to Bray's room without incident. They went inside while he stood guard at the door, twitching more noticeably again. Harper gave him a dirty look before following Erick in, the two of them making a beeline for Bray's bed. He was pale and had lost quite a bit of weight, despite the IVs pumping nourishment into his veins. His hair and beard had grown even more wild, the guards and doctors not having taken an interest in keeping up what little grooming he did. "Get his feet," Luke ordered. "I'll get his head."

Erick wordlessly complied. They unhooked him from his IVs and machines and lifted him up carefully. The placed him into the bag and zipped it up most of the way. They left the very top undone so air could get in without anyone being able to see who was inside. "Go," Luke ordered sharply. He swatted at Erick until he moved at the pace he liked. Half the battle was won. Now they just needed to get out.

* * *

_The lamb took him to a rabbit hole. It jumped down fearlessly, still begging him to follow. He did it without question, a certain sense of calm filling him. He knew what was waiting for him. He crawled until he reached the bottom, breathing in a deep sigh of relief as he found Dean sitting there. He was shirtless, his torso covered in dirt and grime and dried blood. His hair was a mess of curls and his ripped jeans were hanging low on his hips. "I knew I'd find you." He couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face. Of course this was why he had come down here so willingly. Dean had sent for him. He was still calling to him. Even after everything he still needed him. That wasn't changing, no matter how hard he tried to fight it._

_"Don't you always?" Dean's voice was raspier than normal. It was how he sounded when he first woke up in the morning. Bray actually liked it better. It made his moans and cries all the sweeter._

_Bray crawled to him, his eyes not leaving Dean's for a single second. Dean watched him carefully, trembling as Bray got closer. "What's the matter?" Bray grabbed him by the ankles and pulled, not stopping until Dean was flat on his back. Dean gave the slightest of struggles but the fight left him fast. "Do you think I'm going to hurt you?" Bray crawled until he completely hovered over the other man. "Why would I hurt you little lamb?" He kept one hand on the damp dirt below them and used the other to lightly trace his fingers over Dean's cheek. "You are the sweetest thing I ever did see." He took his hand away and leaned down, just barely brushing his nose against Dean's. "Are they loving you the way I still do?" His lips twitched as he felt Dean stiffen underneath him. "I don't think they are. Not if you're here with me."_

_Dean didn't offer up an argument. He just stared up at Bray, blue eyes pleading for help. He was still so lost. His poor little lamb was as lost as ever. "It's alright." Bray brushed his nose against Dean's again. "I got you now."_

_The first kiss clearly surprised Dean in it's gentleness. He stiffened, eyes wide and suspicious. Bray kissed him again, still as gentle as before. A broken whimper passed his lips and Bray smirked. Another gentle kiss got a whine and now Dean kissed him back. The moment he melted was when Bray got bolder. He deepened the kiss, his tongue sliding past Dean's parted lips and claiming every inch of his mouth as his own. Dean's mouth did belong to him. Everything on him was his. They were intertwined, their fate and bodies and minds and souls and just fucking everything was meant to be. The twisted rabbit hole was theirs to share._

_"Bray..." Dean broke away from the kiss and tried to catch his breath. A choked gasp escaped him as Bray scraped his_ _teeth against his throat. "Fuck..."_

_Bray smirked and let his mouth travel down to his collarbone._

_"Wait."_

_"For what?"_

_Dean propped himself up on his elbows. "Wake up."_

_Bray froze at the words. He stared at Dean in pure confusion. Why was Dean saying that to him? First Abigail and now him._ _What was going on? "What?"_

_Dean grabbed his head with both hands and let out a snarl. "WAKE UP!"_

Bray opened his eyes only to find himself in pure darkness. He sucked in a harsh breath, quickly becoming aware of how small the space was around him. His arms and legs felt horribly weak. His stomach twisted tightly. Even when someone had managed to hurt him before he had never felt this weak. He struggled to lift his arms, succeeding but finding that there wasn't much space above him either. His breathing quickened and his heart started to pound. He wanted out. He needed out. He opened his mouth and a hoarse, frightful yell came out. He tried to thrash but his body was too weak. He wanted out of this prison. It was too small. He couldn't breathe in it. Another yell escaped him. The sound of voices were reaching his ears but they were too muffled for him to understand. He forced his arms up and dug his nails against the plastic that kept him contained. He had to get out. He had to get free.

And suddenly there was light. The zipper of the bag was undone and Bray's next yell died in his throat when he locked eyes with the man above him. Luke was there, his wild eyes shocked and thrilled at the same time. "What..." his voice sounded strange even to his own ears. "What..."

"Welcome back." A smile crossed Luke's face. A genuine smile, not something done for a creepy effect. "You're just in time. You're going home."

Home. Why would he be going home? Bray started to ask when it all came rushing back. His attack on the Shield boys. Shooting Roman. Attacking Seth and Dean. Dean getting the gun and shooting him. Dean had shot him. He didn't remember the bullet hitting him but it must have. How long had he been out? Where had he been hit? Where was Dean now? What had happened to the rest of his family? All these questions made his head hurt. He tried to sit up, noticing he was in a vehicle. Rowan was there with him and Luke but he had no idea who was driving. "I'm fine," he mumbled. "I'm fine just-"

"Shush." Luke and Erick both pushed him back down. "Just rest. You're going to be fine." Luke patted his cheek affectionately. "Everything's going to be just fine. Just rest."

Bray let himself lay back down. His head pounded terribly and his body felt too weak to do much relaxing. He stared up at the car's ceiling, not paying any particular attention to the conversation taking place right over him. His mind was replaying the incident at Seth and Roman's house. Dean pulling the trigger. Him inviting him to finish it. Only he hadn't. He lived and now where had his little lamb gone? Had his family stomped him and his boys out? Or did he live on, trying to pretend that his boys could make him happy?

_"Your family needs you,"_ Abigail's voice whispered. _"Don't get stuck on him."_

He knew that. He hadn't ever truly forgotten. It was just easier said than done.

_"He shot you. You don't need to be stuck on him."_

"I know," he mumbled, startling both Luke and Erick.

But love was a foolish thing. He could still feel it. The old familiar pull. The ache to have Dean in his company and the anger that came with him not being there.

The scene had changed but the almighty rabbit hole he had fallen into remained the same.


	3. Chapter 3

Seth typically woke up every morning with his legs so badly tangled in Dean's that it was hard to get free from each other. Despite the bed being quite large, they all slept completely squished together anyway. Dean was always in the middle, needing to be sandwiched between Seth and Roman to feel safe. It wasn't that Seth or Roman really minded. The only issue was that Dean liked to hit in his sleep. The two of them constantly woke up with bruises on their legs and sides. One time Roman even got busted on the jaw from an errant elbow. And maybe there was the problem of both of them getting to smell the alcohol left on Dean's breath. They pretended not to notice it. Fighting with him about the drinking was just exhausting and seemed to never go anywhere. And it wasn't every night. If it was every night then Roman would have already been saying something. But it still worried them. As far as Dean knew, they didn't know. Or he just liked pretending that they didn't. He couldn't think they were that dumb. They were a lot of things, but completely oblivious wasn't one of them.

He sighed and moved his head from the crook of Dean's neck back to his own pillow. The sun was only just starting to stream in through the windows, signaling that it was still too early for even him to be up yet. He closed his eyes and tried to fall back to sleep. Now that he had woken up though, all the noises were making it too hard to go back to sleep. Roman was snoring, Dean was mumbling shit under his breath, birds were chirping...the universe was telling him to just get the fuck up already. Reluctantly he did so, being careful to not wake the other two. He grabbed his phone and put on a pair of sweat pants before heading downstairs. Kevin jumped off the foot of the bed and followed him. The little thing stared up at him with big eyes, making him chuckle and shake his head.

"I'll feed you, don't worry."

Kevin barked in response before running off ahead. They went downstairs to the kitchen, where Seth fed him first thing. Once Kevin was eating he put on the coffee and got himself a bagel with cream cheese. Roman was the one who liked to eat a big meal first thing in the morning. Seth was a bit more health conscious but ate if Roman really insisted. Dean wouldn't touch a bit of food before noon, claiming that doing so made him sick to his stomach. Once the coffee was done (black, with no sugar or milk), Seth took it and the bagel to the living room and stretched out on the couch. He turned on the TV, putting on a rerun of Supernatural because he didn't feel like watching the news. Kevin came in a few minutes later and jumped up, settling in at his feet. They made it through almost the whole episode before his phone rang. He took a glance at it and saw that it was Jey. He frowned, not sure why he would be calling so early. He almost just ignored it. He still wasn't fully awake and didn't really feel like talking to anyone. But Jey was pretty much family at this point so he felt guilty for considering the ignoring thing. "Hello?" he tried not to sound totally dead tired or annoyed as he answered.

"You sitting down?"

"Uhhh...yeah." Seth put his plate by Kevin so the crumbs could be licked off it. "Why? What's up?"

"It's uh...you haven't watched the news or gotten online yet have you?"

"No. I just woke up man." A cold feeling rose from the pit of his stomach. "Oh god. Someone died didn't they?" It was a terrible thought. It really was. But considering how many the wrestling industry seemed to lose every year, it was an understandable thought.

"No. Nobody's dead. Not yet at least."

Seth frowned. "What the fuck does that mean?"

"Bray's missing."

A long silence followed that sentence. "WHAT?" Seth finally yelled. "What the fuck do you mean he's missing?!"

"The Wyatts broke into the prison hospital and sprung him. They got video footage-"

"And nobody stopped them?" This couldn't be happening. This had to be a dream. An awful fucking dream that he would like to wake up from now.

"I guess Harper and Rowan came in disguised. And there was a prison transfer happening so like, everyone was focused on that."

"What the fuck!"

"I know. I know." Jey could practically be heard wincing. "Look man, I mean, we're pretty sure Bray's still in that coma. There wasn't any sighting of him walking out of there."

"But what if he does now though?" Seth got up and started pacing back and forth. "What if he fucking does now? What if he wakes up and wants revenge. Or what if he just wants Dean still?"

"Maybe he'll die if he's like not hooked up to machines," Jey suggested. "I mean we can hope right?"

They could, but Seth didn't really put a whole lot of stock in hoping. Not when it came to anything regarding Bray fucking Wyatt. "what am I going to tell Dean?" His heart sank even lower. They had been working so hard to get Dean in a good place and this could ruin everything. It didn't matter whether Bray was awake or not. Just knowing he was out there would jeopardize Dean's entire recovery.

"I don't know." Jey sounded apologetic. He really did. But sounding sorry wasn't going to fix anything. "You want me and Jimmy to come over? You want us to help?"

"No. I appreciate it but we gotta handle this."

"You guys don't have to do that. You don't gotta do it alone."

"This we do. He'll freak and I don't want him to feel like I brought you guys over to watch the show."

"Alright." Jey didn't sound entirely happy but he backed off. "Just call me if you need me alright?"

Seth agreed and hung up. He set the phone aside, taking a deep breath and rubbing his face slowly. Kevin came up to lick him but that couldn't even draw out the faintest of smiles. He pushed Kevin away and headed back upstairs. He heard Roman stirring as he got close to the room, shaking as the older man started to curse. He was trying to get up and use his walker as opposed to the chair. They went through the trouble of getting him a good chair and installing a stair lift into the house yet Roman just kept pushing himself harder and harder.

"Fucking god damn it..."

"Ro don't do-"

"I got it Dean."

"But your arms are fucking shaking. You're still fucking tired. Give it a rest."

"I'm not giving it a rest. I can do this."

"Shit Ro. Just let me get your pants then."

"I don't need help."

"Fuck yeah you do."

Seth walked into the room to find Roman sitting up in bed with one hand on his walker and the other trying to snag his pants away from Dean. Dean kept moving them out of reach, wanting to help despite the protests. Seth cleared his throat to get their attention. They both turned, each of them opening their mouths to pull him to their side of the argument. One look at his expression made them immediately change course.

"What happened?" Roman asked.

"Did someone die?" Dean pulled the same question Seth had asked Jey. "Oh god who died?"

Seth shook his head. "Nobody's dead." He took a deep breath, wondering if he should ease into it or just say it and get it over fast. "There's um...there's a situation though."

"What kind of situation?" Roman sat up straighter, his grey eyes narrowing. "What happened?"

He had to just say it. Beating around the bush wasn't going to get them anywhere. "The Wyatts broke into the prison hospital and took Bray back."

Seth's words were met with silence. Roman's eyes widened and he quickly looked to Dean. Dean just stared at Seth, his expression unreadable. Seth shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. The silence actually felt like a worse reaction than what he had imagined getting. "Dean?"

"Rowan was here then." Dean tossed Roman's jeans aside and stood up. He looked back and forth between them, his eyes narrowing in anger. "You thought you had to believe me just to be safe." He made a face as both Roman and Seth winced. They hadn't known he heard that. They should have known better. Dean always fucking eavesdropped. "But he was here. They were all here. They were all fucking here and now he's gone."

"We don't think he's awake though." Seth wanted to stress that. He wanted to point out some sort of bright side to all this.

"Does that really fucking matter?" Dean clenched his fists to his sides. "They got him back. They could still come back to get us." He swallowed hard, his voice wavering as he spoke again. "Or he could wake up. And then what if he...what if he comes back? What if he wants revenge?" His voice cracked and he bit his bottom lip. "What if he still wants me?"

"He won't have you?" Roman tried to make himself stand up. "You hear me? We're not going to-fuck!" He toppled over, thankfully landing on the bed instead of the floor.

"Damn it Roman..." Seth shook his head and moved to check on him. "You're going to fucking hurt yourself."

"I'm fine," Roman insisted. He tried to push Seth away as he zeroed back in on Dean. "We're not going to let him do anything to you, okay? It's going to be okay. We'll get through whatever shit comes this way."

Dean looked like he wanted to believe that. Seth could tell that much. But he couldn't manage it. Not now. Not with the panic setting in. "I...fuck." He bailed out of the room, nearly tripping over his own feet as he went.

"Go after him," Roman ordered.

Seth cringed. "You think that's a good idea?"

"Leaving him alone would be worse."

Seth couldn't argue there. He chased after Dean, catching sight of him heading for the bathroom. "Dean!" He quickened his pace. "Dean!" Dean ignored him. He ducked into the bathroom, managing to get the door shut and locked before Seth could catch up. Seth tried the knob anyway, cursing as it refused to open. "Dean!" He pounded on the door hard. "Dean!"

* * *

Dean barely even heard Seth's voice calling to him. His chest rose and fell rapidly, the air not reaching his lungs no matter how fast he took a breath. He stumbled to the sink and grabbed the cold porcelain to steady himself. His head was spinning. Wyatt was back with his family. Rowan had been there stalking him. It wasn't over. The life he had managed to duct tape together was falling apart. What if the Wyatts came for him? Or what if Bray himself walked back in? He had survived the bullet to his head. Who said he couldn't wake up from the coma? Who said that he already didn't? What if he was awake now, plotting on how to get him once more? Whispers from people backstage said the Wyatts moved. The compound in Louisiana was no longer their home base. Dean had tried not to listen to them, but now he wished he had. That meant knowing where Bray could possibly be. It could be a clue of where to send the cops to get him back. But there was nothing. No real clue was to be had anywhere. And maybe it wouldn't help even if he had one. Maybe the only hope any of them had passed them by when he hadn't managed to kill Bray with that gun.

His head spun as he struggled for breath. It felt like he was going to be sick. He tried to heave, just wanting it all out of him. But his throat closed on him and nothing came out. Tears burned his eyes. His brain was conjuring every worse case scenario that could possibly happen. Bray being awake. Bray killing Seth and Roman. Bray dragging him back and making him be his. His stomach turned and he tried to throw up again. Nothing came out. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. He couldn't breathe. His eyes had watered to the point that he couldn't see. He raised his hand and blindly shot his fist forward. The glass broke and cut his skin, slicing through his panic filled haze. The pain gave him something currently real to focus on. It let him breathe, which brought out the bile that had been trying to escape. He doubled over right there in the sink, letting out everything that was still in his system from last night. He puked until his throat burned and it felt like his insides had come out of him. He took a few shaky breaths before turning on the water and rinsing it all away. Once it was gone he washed his face and brushed his teeth, his hands trembling still as he tried to catch his breath.

"Dean?" Seth's voice was quieter now. "Are you alright?"

"Fine." Dean managed to answer. He made sure the lid of the toilet was down before collapsing on it. "Just give me a minute."

"Babe you can let me in." The door knob rattled as Seth tried to open it again. "Let me help you."

"I'm fine! Just give me a minute!" It wasn't that Dean didn't want the help. He did. He wanted to just curl up and scream and sob into Seth's chest but he couldn't let himself do it. He had already fallen back into being weak and pathetic enough as it was. He had to pull it together. That was what he had sworn he would do. He wasn't going to be Bray's butt monkey. He wasn't going to be the victim. He could be strong. He had to be. Seth and Roman pulled his weight too much as it was. It was wrong to expect them to keep doing it. "I can do this," he muttered under his breath. He stood up and washed his face off again. "I can do this." He patted himself dry with the nearest towel. "I can do this." He took a look in the mirror, wincing at the sight of his disheveled self in the cracked glass. "I can do this," he repeated. "I can do this." He made a half-hearted attempt to smooth down his hair before turning for the door. "I can do this. I can do this."

He opened the door and found that he couldn't maintain eye contact with Seth. There was too much concern in the brown orbs staring at him. "You're bleeding." Seth grabbed the hand that he had punched the mirror with. "Jesus Dean."

Dean yanked his hand away. "I'm fine." He moved past Seth and started back down the hall. "It's gonna all be fine."

He didn't know whether he was trying to convince Seth or himself.

What he did know was that neither of them really believed it.


	4. Chapter 4

Home was no longer home. In the effort to keep anyone from finding them once they freed him, a new compound had been made in Mississippi. Everyone had tried to make it just like the old one but it just wasn't home. Not for Bray. It made him uneasy. His bed didn't even feel like his bed anymore. They swore it was, but it felt too foreign to tolerate. That was why he was making himself walk now. He couldn't tolerate laying down anymore. He had done more than enough of that over the past six months. His legs were weak and shaky underneath him. He was barely above a newborn deer but he refused any assistance. He just kept going, hands pushed into his pockets as he slowly strolled through the new compound.

_"It can do for now,"_ Abigail whispered to him. _"It'll keep you safe. Once things die down you can go home again."_

Home. Yes. That would be good. Go home and truly rebuild. That was what he needed to do. His brain was telling him that was for the best. Abigail was saying it. Luke had said it. Yet there was a gnawing in his stomach that wouldn't die. A wanting that he shouldn't be having. He kept replaying the dream he had before he had woken up from his coma in his head. Dean in the rabbit hole. Dean waiting for him. Dean half naked and filthy...oh he had to stop. He had to get off this track. But fuck, it felt too hard to escape. And the question was did he really want to escape? Did he want to accept defeat and let Dean go? He could in reality have someone else. Any of the men and women at the compound would gladly be his. But did he really want them? None of them had ever made him feel very fulfilled. None of them made his heart sing or his passion rise the way Dean did. There was still something about him that was hard to let go. He was the most beautiful mess. Perfection in a sea of imperfections. Why should he want to let that go?

He felt himself growing too tired and he sank down into the grass. There was a good reason to let Dean go. The last time they had met, he had ended up with a bullet in his head. In the very least, he should just be looking for revenge. But then again, revenge was what had gotten him that to begin with. It would do him no good to really seek that. It wasn't like he was in any shape to really do anything. Not yet. There was so much strength that he needed to get back.

"You should be inside."

Bray glanced back to see that Luke had found him. Not a surprise. Out of all his followers, Luke was the most capable and intuitive. That was why he had risen into being the leader in his absence. "Come sit with me."

Luke did what he was told. "They missed you," he said once he was settled. "We all did."

"It seems like you all managed."

"We did our best. They still wanted you." While Bray kept his legs tucked closer to his body, Luke stretched his out. "They need you." Luke gave him a piercing look. "I need you."

Bray took that in. Even if Luke wasn't going to just say it, he knew what this was about. He was being told to stay put. To forget chasing down Dean and go fully back to being their leader. His voice matched Abigail's and he shouldn't have had a problem listening. But something still messed with the back of his mind. "She led me to him. She said he was the one. Yet look at how that turned out." He took off his hat and tilted his head back, letting the sun hit is face. "Did the path take a turn even she couldn't foresee? Or had she just been wrong?" The question was very unsettling to ask. Abigail was his leader. Even in death she still directed him. But never had he faced a situation where she had been wrong. Even if his path with Dean had veered from course, she should have seen it coming. She always saw it coming. And now she hadn't and now he didn't know what to do.

Luke just stared at him. He had never heard Bray question Abigail before and had no idea what to do. Hell, Bray didn't even know what to do.

"Forget it," he finally said. He laid all the way back and let his hands rest on his chest. "I'm still re-gathering my head." He laced his fingers together and forced a smile. "I had too many strange dreams. Rabbit holes and all that. Have you ever been down the rabbit hole Luke?"

Harper shook his head.

"Good. Don't do it." Bray let his legs stretch out now. "You just don't fall down it. Things slither into you. Twist you up on in the inside. Infect your mind with all kinds of nasty things." He let his words linger in the air. He wondered how much they were sinking in and if Luke really knew what the rabbit hole was. "And the thing is, there's no real rabbits down there. Not that I ever found."

"What is down there?" Harper asked out of curiosity. "Is it all nasty things?"

"...Sometimes it's not. Sometimes there's a light. A warm light that makes you keep falling, even with all the nasty things you hit in between." Bray licked his lips. "Because no matter how dark and terrible the things are, the light in between makes it worth it. It can wrap you up and make you feel invincible. It can bring you joy that's almost as pure as a child's. But you don't know that you'll get it. You don't know until you hit the bottom and then it's too late. You're consumed by either one until the bottom drops out and you're falling again."

Silence followed that. There was nothing Luke could really say. They stayed there for awhile, Harper sitting and Bray just laying. Thoughts of Dean kept trying to infiltrate his mind. He tried to push them out. He had to find something else to focus on. Anything. "Where's Erick?"

"With Isabella."

"I want to see her." Bray sat up, wincing at the wave of dizziness that hit him. "Take me to her."

Luke looked pleased. He stood up, helping Bray to his feet as well. Bray insisted on walking on his own, letting how crappy he felt be a distraction to everything that was plaguing his brain. His family needed him. He needed to focus on them. He needed to focus on getting back to full strength. But the thoughts of Dean lingered on, hungry and impatient. They wouldn't stay manageable for long. He had to see him. Or hear his voice. Maybe if he did one of those two things he could get closure and get him out of his mind for good.

* * *

All eyes went to Dean the day he and Seth showed up for Raw. The news of Bray being free had spread like wildfire. Stephanie and Hunter had pulled them into their office, swearing up and down that they would add to the security to keep them safe. Dean didn't put much stock into their words. If any of the Wyatts wanted him, they would find a way around the security to get him. It wasn't a comforting reality, and it wasn't one he said out loud. Seth was already fretting over him enough as it was. He didn't need to add to it. So he kept his mouth shut, trying to focus on their upcoming match. Raw Roulette was tonight, and the spin of the wheel meant their fatal four way tag team match with the Usos, Rybaxel and the newly brought up Ascension was going to be a ladder match. He didn't feel at all ready for such a demanding match but that was the hand he had to deal with.

"We're gonna win tonight alright?" Seth had already changed into his gear. Dean had to do the same but just hadn't gotten on it yet. "We're better than them. We got this."

Dean just nodded.

"Ro says he wants to see the belts coming home."

"Is he watching?"

"Yeah. You know he is."

"Is that even good for him? It's making him go crazy."

Seth winced. "I know it is. But you know him. He's too god damn stubborn."

"He's not alone tonight is he?"

"He's with his parents. I made sure they were going to be going over. Can't leave him and Kevin to their own devices." Seth frowned as Dean absently picked at a scab on his knuckle. "Dean?"

"Hmm?"

"You gonna be alright?"

Dean made himself nod. He wanted to do this. He wanted all the stares and whispers from everyone else not to bother him. He wanted to just go out there, perform, win the belts and then go celebrate. That was so simple. But his stomach was still a giant knot of anxiety. His chest felt too tight, the oxygen being forced out of him by the nearly constant drumming of dread. Xanax had become his best friend in the past few days. It didn't seem like it was doing much, but it was keeping him functional. That was about what he was asking for anyway.

Seth didn't look convinced by Dean's answer. He ran a hand over his hair, shaking his head slowly. "We can drop out if you're not ready. They know he's out there. They'll understand you being freaked."

Dean shook his head. Fuck that. He wanted to just try to live his life like it actually was his to live. Why did that have to be so fucking hard. "It's whatever. I just fucking wish it wasn't a ladder match." He grabbed his bag and unzipped it. "I don't feel like fucking killing myself. My hip fucking hurts." He pulled his gear out but didn't quite start putting it on yet. "Like why can't it be a regular fucking match?"

"Gotta bring in ratings man. Football's starting. Office gets desperate." Seth put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed tightly. "You need anything? Want like some food or something?"

"Bottle of water would be good." He really didn't even want that, but he wanted Seth to feel useful.

"You got it." The smile Seth gave him made the request worth it. Dean watched Seth go out the door and sighed. He needed to get dressed. He slipped his shirt off and tossed it towards his bag. He grabbed the sleeveless black muscle shirt he wrestled in, but didn't put it on right away. His left hand drifted to his torso, fingers tracing over the cuts Bray had made on him. He was a fucking map of scars. There was no way he'd ever let himself wrestle shirtless again. He didn't want everyone to see. It was bad enough that they knew. But to actually let them see? No way. Never. He, Seth and Roman had to endure seeing them and that was more than he could stand.

He got himself dressed and started to pace around the room. He had to clear his head. This was not the mental space he needed to be in if he wanted to get through the match safely. Back and forth he went, trying to stretch as he went. He just had to focus. The tag belts were what they wanted. He had gotten his United States title taken from him when he, Seth and Roman had run off to Santa Fe so this was his chance to win back gold. He and Seth could really solidify the fact that they were back in business. They could make Roman proud and give him something to be happy about. Or what he would hopefully be happy about anyway. There was still the worry it would make him jealous and make him push too hard because he wanted to be the one standing tall and holding gold.

His cell phone ringing caught his attention. He froze and glanced toward his bag. Roman didn't usually call until after the shows. And even then, he tended to call Seth's phone because Dean was terrible at answering his. He walked to it and picked it up. An unfamiliar number flashed on the screen. He frowned and hesitantly answered it. "Hello?"

Silence greeted him.

"Hello?" Dean chewed on his lower lip. "Who the fuck is this?"

More silence.

"Well fuck you then." Dean went to hang up.

"I'm really glad you didn't change your number little lamb."

Dean's heart stopped. His blood ran cold. His stomach dropped somewhere below the depths of hell. "N-no..." He shook his head. This had to be a dream. He had fallen asleep. Yeah. He just fell asleep and was having a nightmare. This couldn't be real. No way.

"You know how hard it was for me to figure out how to set up this phone after I bought it? Or even just sneaking away from Luke and the others so they didn't know I was doing it? Because I must admit, I'm still feeling a little weak over here. Just a little side effect of you shooting me I suppose."

"You're not real."

"What?" Bray let out a chuckle. "I feel pretty real to me."

"I'm dreaming." Dean's free hand started pinching his arm as hard as he could. "You're not doing this. You're in the coma and aren't waking up."

"I would be if uh, you were a tad bit more effective with a gun."

Dean just pinched himself harder. He wasn't waking up. This was real. "I'm not doing this." He didn't let his voice shake. He couldn't. It was bad enough his hands were shaking now. He couldn't let it be heard either. "You can't make me do this."

"Do what?" Bray sounded genuinely confused. The man was still good with an act. "Talk? That's all I want."

"There's nothing to talk about. I'm done. We're done."

"It sounds so simple when you say it."

"It is. Stay away from me."

"That's what they want too. But you're still in here." Dean couldn't see him, but he was imagining Bray was pointing to something on himself. "Calling me. You were in my dreams. You were the last thing I saw before I woke up."

"Bray please..."

"She says to move on. But what if I can't?"

"Try harder." Dean disconnected the call with that. The phone rang again almost immediately and he tried to shut it off. His hands were shaking too badly though to manage. He finally just let it drop in his bag, staring at it in horror as it kept ringing. "Please stop," he begged it. "Please please stop please stop..." He backed away from it, going back until he tripped over his own feet and hit the ground ass first. "Fuck fuck fuck!" He scooted back until he hit the wall. Tears burned behind his eyes but he tried to just wipe them away before they fell. This wasn't fair. He had been trying. He had been trying so hard to get his life somewhat back together. Yet here Bray was, trying to come back in his life just like before. Only difference was that Abigail apparently was telling him to move on. Fucking Abigail. The mysterious woman Bray based everything on. If he was no longer listening to her then...well Dean didn't know what to expect out of him. And that seemed as bad as what he knew to expect out of the son of a bitch.

"Here babe I-" Seth froze as he saw the state Dean was in. "Babe? What happened?"

Dean just shook his head and buried his face into his hands.

"Dean?" Seth walked over and knelt down at his side. "Dean talk to me."

Dean forced himself to swallow despite the huge lump in his throat. Preparing for the match was completely driven out of his mind. All the stares he was going to get just walking to the ring wouldn't even register with him now. Not with this awful confirmation. Not with just imagining what could go down next. "Bray's...Bray's awake."


	5. Chapter 5

The smell of beer and cigarette smoke assaulted Bray's nose as he shifted around on his chair. A bar was not somewhere he liked to be. But the compound didn't have cable, and this was the only place he could think of to watch what he wanted to watch. He had Rowan and Harper with him, saying they needed to survey the scene since they weren't as isolated as they had been before. Which was true. There wasn't miles and miles between them and the city. There wasn't a swamp that people didn't want to venture to. They needed to be more wary of their surroundings. But that wasn't the reason for being here tonight. His eyes kept going back to the TV, which was playing Monday Night Raw. There wasn't any sound that could be heard over all the talking and occasional shouts. That was okay though. He didn't need the sound. He just needed to be able to see the match they were relentlessly promoting. Dean and Seth vs Rybaxel vs the Ascension vs The Usos in a fatal four way ladder match for the tag team titles. Not what he had been expecting really. Dean was better than being saddled with being in a tag team with Seth. Though with Roman out of the picture still, Hunter and Stephanie had to keep The Shield together as a unit somehow.

"We're making people nervous," Harper observed.

Bray turned to him. "Don't we always?" He kept his tone light, a little smirk crossing his lips.

Harper didn't look so amused. The real reason that they were there wasn't lost on him. It probably wasn't lost on Rowan either. They just weren't saying anything about it. Not yet anyway. Bray suspected that Luke eventually would. He just hoped that he wouldn't. Neither one of them would understand. The very brief conversation he had with Dean earlier wouldn't leave his mind. He had tried to push it out. Dean didn't want to go down this path again. He had Abigail in his own ear telling him to not do it. Yet the longing was making his chest ache. Knowing he should move on and actually doing it were two different things. It didn't feel like there was anyone else for him. It didn't matter that he could easily bring anyone else into his bed. There was something that still pulled him to Dean. Something that made him wish he was still in that coma if he really did have to face moving on. That was almost a frightening thought. He had been spurned and shot and made a fool of. Yet he didn't really desire vengeance. Not fully. There was a receipt coming for the bullet to his head. He couldn't just completely forget and forgive that. But when that was said and done, he still wanted Dean back. Maybe that meant he really was crazy. But he wasn't particularly sure if he even cared.

Dean and Seth's entrance made Bray sit up straighter. They came in through the crowd, though neither looked remotely prepared for the match. It wasn't something the fans at home were going to notice. They were at least trying to put on a façade. But Bray knew them both better than most, and he could see how distracted they were. And it was because of him. His call had weighed on Dean and he had clearly told Seth about it. He wish he could have been a fly on the wall during that conversation.

"Who do we pick boys?" Bray shrugged at the looks they gave him. "What? It's a simple question."

Rowan waited until the Ascension were on the screen before pointing.

"Them? Solid choice. They're hungry. Dominant. More to prove. But this whole match caters to those Usos."

"Surprised you're not picking the rat," Harper muttered.

Bray shot him a look. "You see his eyes Luke?" He grabbed a toothpick and rolled it between his index finger and thumb. "His mind isn't in the match." He didn't bother bringing up Seth. The other man meant nothing to him. "You want to know where it is though?" He tapped his finger against his chest. "Me."

Harper stared at him for a long time before turning his attention to the match. It was a disaster from Seth and Dean's end. They made mistake after mistake, Dean more so than Seth. Seth was at least trying to actually pull it together out there. Dean was just getting the shit kicked out of him. Finally, after taking a wicked sunset flip into a powerbomb from the top of the ladder, he just rolled out of the ring and stayed down. That left Seth to take a double team move from Ascension, though the Usos actually emerged as the victors. Chaos, the opportunities to fly high...it catered to them, just like Bray had said. After the match, the camera lingered on Dean. His face was contorted in pain, but his blue eyes was still so very far away from the scene. His mind was still with him. "Let's go boys." Bray pushed himself back and stood up. The rest of Raw didn't matter. He had seen everything that he needed to see.

* * *

Seth refused to say a word after the match. He even refused to go to the trainer's, though it was obvious that he needed it. He was limping something terrible. Dean kept his distance, feeling like a complete piece of shit. They had lost before they even got out there. And it was all his fault. He let himself get totally freaked out by Bray, and Seth had to spend the whole match worried about him. His entire body hurt, his back killing him the most. Yet none of that compared to the panic that was still swirling inside of him. Bray was awake. Bray had contacted him. That meant it could all start again. He didn't think he could take it. He was trying to just get his life in order. To learn to live and see himself as a person worth the love Seth and Roman gave him. To learn to love himself, and be past the darkness that had been such a part of his life. This was the absolute last thing he needed. He didn't want Bray back. That resolve was still there. But he wasn't going to get anywhere with anything else if he had Bray's voice whispering in his ear again. The things Bray tended to say were still what he believed.

The ride back to the hotel was uncomfortably silent. They didn't even turn the radio on. Seth drove and Dean kept his head bowed, his fingers playing with the frayed edges of his jeans. Once they got to the hotel they went to their room in silence. Seth got in there first, plopping himself down on the nearest bed. Dean closed the door behind him and let his bags drop to the floor. He needed a hot shower something fierce.

"What did he say?" Seth finally chose to speak.

"I already told you." Dean didn't want to do this again. They did this before the match and it just helped to completely ruin their match. He should have just kept his mouth shut. Or better yet, he should have just ignored his phone. They could have won the match. They could have been out celebrating a title win instead of being miserable in this hotel room.

"Tell me again." Seth sat up to stare at him. "Don't shut me out. That's what he wants."

"I'm not shutting you out. There's just nothing more than what I already fucking told you." Dean gave him a hurt look. "Do you really not believe me when I say shit? Fuck. First you and Ro only believe me about Rowan to be safe instead of sorry and now this?"

Seth winced. "That's not what we meant."

"But you did! And I really did see Rowan. They were all fucking there to break Bray out. And now he's awake, and you like, are acting like I'm just going to make it easy for him to take me back." Dean walked to the counter that held the ice bucket and the coffee machine. "I know I'm pathetic, but god damn, I've fucking been trying."

"Don't call yourself that shit. I know you've been trying. I just...I just don't get it." Seth let out a long sigh and rubbed the back of his neck. "You shot him. You fucking nearly killed him. Isn't that like, a sign for him to back off? Does he really need to start this shit again?"

Dean just shrugged. He didn't want to speculate on what was going on in Bray's head. That was a can of words that was best left unopened, especially for him.

"Fucking shit man." Seth ran his hand over his pocket that had his phone in it. "I had my phone on silent. I don't even want to think of how many messages Ro sent."

Oh yeah. Roman. They still had to tell him. He was probably going nuts because of how much they sucked in their match. "Can you tell him?" He felt like an asshole or asking. "I just...I need to shower. To clear my head."

Seth nodded. "Alright. Just don't use all the hot water."

"Okay." Dean snagged the boxers he slept in out of his bag before going into the bathroom. He started stripping immediately, letting the clothes fall wherever they wanted. He got into the shower and turned the water on as hot as he could stand it. It wasn't going to help all the aches and pains, but it would at least help a little. He let out a sigh, trying to keep his brain as relaxed as possible. He didn't need to let his brain fuck him over with unwanted thoughts. He just needed to relax and recuperate. He could handle this. He just needed to keep calm.

_"I fucking hate him," Dean grumbled as he leaned back against Bray. They were back in Dean's hotel room, both of them in the shower because Bray was an ass who didn't know how to leave him alone. Seth and Roman were down the hall, taking advantage of being away from him for awhile. He had been a nightmare to be around since Sheamus had busted his nose up in the six man tag match earlier that night. "Fucking Irish lug. Who just goes around kicking people in the face. It's rude. He's fucking rude."_

_Bray chuckled. His arms were wrapped around Dean's waist while his chin rested on his shoulder. "I don't recall you being a paradigm of manners yourself little lamb."_

_"Oh fuck you and your big words." Dean gingerly reached up and gingerly touched his nose. _"First Ro and Seth mock me and now you. You all suck." He tried to pull out of Bray's grasp. "Let go. I need to rinse."__

__"I think I'm fine right here."_ _

__"Dude seriously."_ _

__"I'm plenty serious." Bray's hand slipped down, easily wrapping around Dean's cock. "This is a perfectly good spot." He started stroking the length slowly. "I think I could stay here all night." He started placing gentle kisses along Dean's neck and shoulder. "Don't you agree darlin?"_ _

__Dean tried to choke back his moan. "You're cheating."_ _

__"Cheating? Me? Never." Bray lazily brushed his thumb over the head of Dean's shaft. "I'm insulted you would say that."_ _

__"Well what are you going to do about it then?"_ _

"Oh fuck no." Dean shook that memory off as fast as he could. He did not need to start dwelling on those kinds of memories. That was a slippery slope that needed to be avoided. He grabbed the soap and furiously scrubbed it all over his body. He could still feel Bray's touch on him. He fucking had this way of just lingering on, even when he shouldn't. His touch was poison. His words were poison. Fucking everything from him was fucking poison. And it still wanted to course through Dean's veins. He was reaching out, trying to wrap his claws around him and take him for everything that he was worth. He couldn't let him do it. Dean scrubbed the soap in harder, not stopping until his red skin was completely covered in suds. He rinsed himself off next, wincing as the water hit a nasty scratch on his hip that he didn't realize he had. "Fuck." He put the soap aside and rinsed his hands before rubbing his eyes. He couldn't keep thinking about Bray. He couldn't deal with thinking about what could happen or what had already happened. "Fucking damn it." He shut off the water but didn't immediately get out. Instead he sat down, pulling his knees up to his chest. He could hear Seth still talking to Roman in the other room. He wasn't ready to go out there to fully hear that conversation. He was too tired for it. Too sore. His head was pounding and if he were any less exhausted, panic would really be surging through him over all this. It would probably hit later when he tried to sleep. It always did.

He sighed and closed his eyes. He didn't want to think about that now. He just wanted to rest. Just a little rest, and then he could figure out how to deal with Bray. He could figure out how to deal with his other fucking issues. He could fucking make up his horrendous performance in that match. He could fucking make it all better if he somehow got some god damn rest.

Or at least, that's what he told himself.

* * *

Harper paced back and forth across the room. He hadn't been able to rest easy since they had returned from the bar. Nothing he had been saying to Bray seemed to be having any effect. Bray's mind and heart were still dangerously attached to Dean. He couldn't fathom the reason for it. Not only was Dean Ambrose a street rat, but he was a male, so he couldn't even be useful and procreate. Not that Ambrose ever needed to do that. Not in Harper's opinion. But if he could at least have a child, he would serve a purpose for Bray. But he couldn't, and now he was just going to tear their family apart again if they weren't careful. And Luke wasn't going to stand for it. Not after it took him so long to get Bray back. It would be over his dead body that he allowed Dean to win.

"You know what to do." He turned to Rowan, who sat on the edge of the bed. He had on his sheep mask, the eyes of it never leaving Harper for a second. "I'll keep him distracted for as long as possible. Leave now." He dug the keys to his truck out of his pocket and handed them over. "Take out all three of them if you want. But get Dean first." He grabbed Rowan's head and held it firmly. "Bray is falling back into temptation. He needs protected from himself. Can you do it?"

Rowan tried to nod, but couldn't with the grip Luke had on him. "Yes," he said instead.

"Good." Luke placed a long, hard kiss to his forehead. "Make me proud." He let Rowan go and stepped back. The other man stood up, leaving the room without another word. Harper allowed himself a small smile.

Dean Ambrose wasn't going to be a problem for much longer.


	6. Chapter 6

_"Get over here you little fucker!"_

_"No!" Dean tried to evade the man's grasp. Ricky the fucking drug dealer was trying to corner him again. The heavily tattooed asshole had never meant good news, but lately he had been even worse. At least in the past, he only kicked the shit out of him and took what little money he scrounged up during the day. Now he just liked to...well Dean just didn't want to think about it. It hurt and he always cried, which made Ricky hurt him even more. He didn't want it to happen again. He couldn't let it happen again._

_Ricky snarled and managed to grab him by the back of his jacket. Dean desperately tried to rip himself out of his grip. He didn't care if the thing tore. He could live without it. It wasn't like he hadn't ever before. But despite his best attempts, Rick still snagged him by the waist and lifted him up, easily carrying him to the alley they always ended up in. "NO!" Dean kicked his feet furiously. His heels hit Ricky's shins, but there seemed to be no lasting effect. He found himself thrown to the ground violently, his head hitting the nearby dumpster with a hard thud. His mind still screamed at him to run. His body didn't move anywhere near fast enough. Ricky was on him again, pulling him up just to shove him chest first against the dumpster. Large hands ripped at his pants violently. He tried to scream again, but he only got a dirty, oily rag shoved into his mouth for his troubles._

_"Ssssshhhh. You don't want everyone to hear do you?"_

_Dean blinked. The scene suddenly changed. He was no longer in that dirty, smelly alley. He was in his childhood bedroom with his mother's boyfriend hovering above him. Pete. Fucking Pete. His beady eyes were wild, his breath smelling like pure whiskey. His hands pulled at Dean's blankets impatiently. Dean fought to keep them over him. He couldn't do this. Not again._

_"Come on boy. You know you like it."_

_Dean shook his head. No. No he fucking didn't. His grip tightened on his blankets. He wanted to shove or kick the bastard away, but he was too afraid of letting his covers go. Even with sleeping in a t-shirt, jeans and jacket, he would feel much too exposed._

_"Don't fucking lie to me." Pete ripped at the blankets more violently. He got them off and tossed them across the room. "Fucking stay still!" He forced Dean down and palmed his groin through the thin material of his jeans. Dean whimpered and shook his head. His body wasn't about to respond the way the bastard wanted, which only made things worse. He braced himself, managing to keep his head from rocking too much as the slap came down across his face._

_"Fucking little bastard." Pete slapped him again. "Only good for one thing. Just like your fucking mother."_

_Dean whimpered and tried to push him away. Fucker never said any of that shit to his mother. He treated her like a god damn queen. And she was so happy. Sure she still did drugs and whored herself out, but during the days, she could pretend that she had an actual good set up in life. Dean wanted to tell her all the things Pete said behind her back. He wanted to tell her what he did every night and beg for her to kick him out. But he couldn't. She wouldn't believe him. She saw only what she wanted to see, which matched just what Pete wanted her to see. Bastard. Such a fucking bastard._

_Another time. Another place. A burning, ripping pain broke through his drug fueled haze. He didn't recognize the room. He didn't recognize the Puerto Rican man on top of him. Fucker was strong though. Really rough. Dean whimpered and tried to scream. Tried to push him off. Nothing happened. He was too fucked up. His arms and legs felt like they were filled with lead. He had to just close his eyes and try to force his mind to be blank. It would be over soon. It had to be over soon._

_"Look at me little lamb."_

_Dean's eyes snapped open. The pain was still there, but he wasn't in a dingy motel room with someone he didn't know. He was with Bray now. They were on the compound, on Bray's bed. His hands were pinned up above his head and he could fucking feel himself bleeding. Not that it stopped Bray. He kept going harder, smirking as Dean whined and tried to break free._

_"Such a beautiful little lamb."_

_Dean shook his head. "Stop," he begged. He tried to get himself free. "Please please stop."_

_"Why?" Bray twisted his wrists, making him yelp in pain. "You like it?"_

_Dean shook his head again._

_"Don't lie to me." His eyes went down to Dean's cock, which was hard and laying flat against Dean's stomach. "Look at you. Liking every little thing I do."_

_"N-no."_

_"Stop lying."_

_"Please stop." Dean turned his head. He couldn't look at Bray. He couldn't even stand being in his own skin. "Please please stop..."_

_But Bray didn't. Instead he just switched to holding both his wrists with one hand while the other wrapped around Dean's cock. Dean shuddered. He didn't want this to feel good. He tried to somehow move away from the touch, but Bray didn't let him go. A moan escaped him, his body betraying him by giving in yet again. He came with a whimper, dying inside as he heard the other man laugh._

Bile rose in Dean's throat as he opened his eyes. His body was drenched in a cold sweat. His chest rose and fell rapidly, his brain trying to desperately push everything he had just dreamt away. Seth and Roman were sitting up on either side of him. Their concern could be seen quite clearly even with how dark the room was.

"Was it Bray?" Roman asked.

"Part of it," Dean admitted. He put his hands over his face and ran them down slowly. The terrible performance on Raw had gotten him and Seth sent home for the rest of the week, which already had him feeling bad enough. Roman hadn't taken the news about Bray well, nearly landing himself in the hospital when he tried to put himself to not only walk without assistance but practice fighting as well. That had just made Dean feel worse. Add in the nightmares and things were just looking so very shitty. Seth had taken the lead in trying to hold them all together. He was constantly on the lookout, nearly driving himself insane because he thought every noise was a Wyatt coming to get them. Dean felt like shit for it. He didn't want them to be in this position. Yet here they were, trying to prepare themselves for the absolute worst.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Seth posed it as a question, but Dean knew they wanted him to talk. And they of course would get all worried and insulted if he didn't.

"It was just...I don't know. Just all fucking everyone in my head." Dean hated talking about this. Even knowing he was supposed to didn't make any of it easier. "It all just fucking everyone who like, ever hurt me. All in my head. One after another." He sat up, swearing that he actually felt a flash of phantom pain from the dream rapes. "I fucking don't want the shit in my head. But it just fucking all came at me." He rubbed his hands over his face. "Why the fuck can't I let it go?" He looked back and forth between Seth and Roman. "I want to. I fucking want to. But it all stays with me." He laughed bitterly. "I just can't fucking win."

Roman cringed. "It'll just take time. You've had horrible shit happen to you your whole life. You aren't just going to magically get over it. It's going to take time."  
Time. Yeah. That's what they all said. Dean knew they were right. He fucking knew it. But that didn't mean he liked it. How much fucking time was he going to need? Could he keep his own sanity long enough for that time to pass? That seemed unlikely to him.

"Come on." Seth tried to ease him down on the bed. "Just go back to sleep. We gotta see Dr. Walsh in the morning."

Dean tried to shake his head. "You can go with Roman-"

"Jimmy and Jey are going with me," Roman interrupted. "None of us are going anywhere alone." He grabbed Dean and helped Seth lay him back down. "And that's final."

Dean didn't argue. He supposed it was for the best anyway. He tried to go back to sleep but that didn't really work. He tossed and turned the rest of the night, finally just getting out of bed right before the sun rose. Kevin got up with him, practically begging to be let out. "Hold on hold on," he muttered. He stopped at the guest room first, snagging the cigarettes and lighter that he now hid alongside his booze. Roman and Seth would be able to smell it on him, but he would worry about that later. He just needed the relief the nicotine would bring him.

"Come on boy." Dean picked up Kevin and carried him down the stairs. "Let's go." He took him out the back door before setting him down. Kevin barked and began to sprint around the yard. Dean stuck one of the cigarettes in his mouth and lit it up. The first inhale calmed him just a bit. He closed his eyes and leaned back against the house. He was so fucking exhausted. So so fucking exhausted. Maybe he could cancel the appointment with Dr. Walsh and just convince Seth and Roman to let him go back to bed?They had to let him sleep. They just had to.

Kevin's shrill barking made Dean open his eyes. The little dog was right at the gate, fur on its back raised as it snarled at...Rowan. "FUCK!" The cigarette fell from Dean's lips and went down into the grass. Rowan. Rowan was at the gate. The eyes of his sheep mask were staring right down at Kevin, his hand reaching over the gate to grab the dog by the scruff of the neck.

"NO!" Dean ran forward as fast as he could. He got there just as Rowan was starting to lift Kevin up. He ripped the dog away and tried to just turn around and run for it. Rowan just grabbed his hair instead, yanking back violently. Dean dropped Kevin, his hands going up to try to make Rowan let go. "SETH!" He tried to drag his heels into the ground. "ROMAN!"

Rowan snarled and wrapped both hands around his neck. Dean found himself being lifted up and over the gate, the metal scratching his legs as he kept trying to struggle. The grip on his neck was too tight to let him scream again. Someone had to have heard him the first time. Seth or Roman or a neighbor. But they weren't coming. They weren't fucking coming. Not fast enough anyway. He kicked his legs more, heels connecting uselessly to Rowan's shins. Rowan's massive arm when around his throat now, choking him as he was dragged into the garage. His brain was flying into pure panic mode. What did he do? What could he do? He was going to fucking die if he didn't think of something.

Dean yelped as he was tossed to the floor. The lights weren't on, but fear made his eyes adjust to the darkness much faster than normal. He saw Rowan's hands clasp around the ax hanging on the wall. Why the fuck did they have an ax? Roman bought it for something. Fucking what was it? Dean couldn't think of it. It didn't matter. What mattered was the sharp blade being swung directly at his head. He screamed and rolled out of the way just in time. The ax clanged against the ground harshly. Rowan growled and tried again. Dean rolled away again. He scrambled back desperately, his balance failing him in his hurry. "SETH! ROMAN!" He didn't even know why he was screaming for Roman really. What could he do now? Nothing. Maybe he did it from instinct. Roman was the protector. Of course he still wanted him. But there would be only Seth-and that was if Seth even heard him in time.

Dean pushed himself to his feet and ran for the door. Rowan was right on his heels. The ax was already being swung again. He dived to the side, making sure the ax would be buried into the door instead. New plan. He needed a new plan. He turned and ran for the car, nearly sobbing in relief as it opened. He jumped inside and slammed the door shut, locking it behind him. Rowan was still trying to pull the ax out of the door. It wouldn't be long before he managed it. Dean had to act fast. He slammed his hand against the horn, hoping the blast would be loud enough for Seth and Roman to hear. His brain struggled to remember how to hot wire a car. He used to do it all the fucking time. He could have made a living on it if it had been a desired skill. But fucking shit, his brain was failing him now.

The ax smashed into the driver's side window, sending glass everywhere. Dean screamed and scrambled into the back. He heard the door open and tried to go faster. He had to get out. Make it out before it was too late. But Rowan's weight came on him just as he was touching the door behind the passenger's seat. "NO!" He tried to swing his hands around to nail the larger man. Rowan's knee was right in the center of his back, effectively pinning him down. A large hand grabbed his hair, turning his head to the side roughly. His eyes made contact with Rowan's. That damn sheep mask was still on, Rowan's heavy breathing quite audible inside of it. Dean dug his palms into the seat, trying to find any strength to push himself up and buck Rowan off him. Rowan didn't budge from his efforts. He only dug his knee into Dean's back even harder, not stopping until he screamed.

"SETH! RO-"

A punch to the back of the head dazed him. His vision went blurry, his brain lingering near the point of unconsciousness. He barely realized he was being flipped on to his back until Rowan's hands were around his throat. He squeezed hard, not letting Dean get the slightest bit of breath in him. Dean tried to whimper, but the sound wouldn't even come out of him. He brought his hands up to Rowan's face. It was meant to be a blow. It was supposed to be a fucking blow. But all he managed was to slightly push up the mask. This was it. This was fucking it. After all he had been through, the sheep mask wearing fucker was going to be the death of him.

_I don't want to die._

_But it'll be so much easier..._

And suddenly Rowan was off him. As the blackness faded away, Dean caught the briefest of glimpses at Seth. Adrenaline pumped through the younger man, allowing him to pull Rowan out of the car. A struggle could be heard, but Dean had no will to sit up and watch it. He just closed his eyes and gasped for breath, consciousness slipping from him now despite being able to breathe. The blackness was welcoming. It wasn't until he felt a pair of hands on him that he woke again. He immediately screamed, his body instinctively trying to get away again.

"No no no!" Seth's voice broke through his panic. He grabbed Dean by the arms and shook his head. "It's okay. It's okay." He nodded to his own words. He's out. He's out." He took Dean by the hands and pulled him out of the car gently. "Come see. Just come see."

Dean didn't want to see. He tried to resist, but Seth wouldn't give up. He whimpered as he gave in, cringing as he saw Rowan laid out on the floor. He opened his mouth to ask if he was dead, but that state of his throat wouldn't let him talk yet.

"Unconscious." Seth didn't need him to even ask. He wrapped a protective arm around Dean. "I hit him with the ax. I tried to get him like full on, but he ducked and I had to swing from the side. Knocked him out." He placed a kiss to Dean's temple. "We might have the whole family on us though if I killed him." It was hard to tell if he was saying that for Dean's or his own benefit. "Go inside alright?" Seth placed his hands on either side of Dean's head. "Just go inside and sit with Roman. He's going crazy."

Dean just stared at him, beyond shaken at this point. His throat still too sore to speak.

"I'm gonna tie him up." Seth pointed to Rowan's unconscious form. "I don't know what we'll do after, but that can buy us some time." His grip on Dean's head tightened. "You trust me right?"

Dean nodded immediately.

"Then do what I say. I'll get this all taken care of."


	7. Chapter 7

"We should call the cops."

Seth snorted, not even bothering to look over at Roman. The older man had wheeled himself out to the garage, apparently needing to see their intruder for himself. Dean was somewhere inside, and Seth hoped he just stayed far away from them. He didn't need to be any closer to any of the Wyatts than he already had been. "What good have they done us before?"

Roman eyed the chair Seth had tied Rowan up on. "We have to call them at some point. We can't keep him tied up in here for forever."

Seth knew he was right. But that didn't mean he wanted to admit it. "We should interrogate him first. Find out if Wyatt's close."

"Interrogate him?" Roman looked at Seth like he had just lost his mind. "You really think that's going to work?"

"We have to do something." Seth ran a hand over his hair. "I just want to fucking kill him to be honest. The fucker was going to MURDER Dean."

Roman winced. "I know."

"We should just do it. Kill him and dump the body."

"And have all the Wyatts on our ass?" Roman shook his head. "Believe me, I love that plan. I do. But we're not prepared for the war if we cross that line."

Seth knew he was right about that too. It still didn't make it any better though. Waking up to Dean screaming, Kevin's frantic barking, and the fucking sight of the Rowan's hands around Dean's throat...Seth shuddered just thinking about it. He wanted to rip every single member of the Wyatt family apart. Bray had torn Dean down, rendered him helpless against not only him, but the demons that Dean had built a wall against for so long. And now when he was trying to heal, they were back to destroy any progress he had made. It wasn't fair. Dean didn't deserve this. They had to make sure he didn't go through any more shit. They just had to.

"Seth?" Roman leaned forward, his face tight with worry. "Babe?"

Seth felt something snap inside of him. He stormed over to the toolbox and nearly tore the lid off completely as he opened it. Rowan wanted to play? Fine. He could play. He grabbed the first tool he could get his hand on, which just happened to be a screwdriver. None of the things Roman said to him even registered in his brain. His mind was zeroed in on Rowan, who was still unconscious on the chair. His vision was fucking red. His body was out of his own control. His feet carried him to Rowan. The hand not holding the screwdriver struck the fucker's face so hard that the lamb mask went flying off. "Wake up!" he snarled. His hand slapped him again, fully waking Rowan.

"Seth!" Roman shook his head. "What the fuck are you doing?"

Rowan snarled and tried to fight his way out of his restraints. They held him right, giving Seth the chance to sneer and put a nice, hard, twisting grip on his beard. "Did Bray send you here?" He pulled hard, yanking so Rowan had nowhere to look but directly at him. "Did he fucking send you here to do this shit?"

Rowan just snarled again. Eyes were feral and spit flew past his lips. Teeth were barred, making for an expression that would have been at least somewhat scary if Seth hadn't been in the mood he was in.

"Fucking TALK!" Seth nearly yanked some of the bright red hair out of his ugly face. "You think this is a fucking game? You think we're fucking playing anymore?"

Rowan tried to yank his head away. He still refused to say a word. He fucking could talk. Seth knew that. He had added in enough raspy orders to run at the end of Wyatt's promos to make it known that he could fucking speak. But now he was just silent. To Seth, that just meant he was protecting Bray. And that enraged Seth even more. Without even thinking, he raised the screwdriver above his head and drove it down straight into Rowan's leg. It wasn't even one with a pointed end. The sheer force of his movements made it go through the skin and earned him the scream of pain that was more than little satisfying.

"SETH!" Roman stared at him, eyes wide and mouth agape. "JESUS CHRIST!"

Seth twisted the screwdriver in even deeper. "You think we're going to let Bray have him killed?" He shook his head to answer his own question. "You think it'll be that easy?" He gripped Rowan's face, digging his nails into his cheeks. "I won't let him hurt him again. I won't let ANY of you hurt him again."

Rowan just stared at him. No snarling, now words. And then he just laughed. The sound was so startling at first. Seth almost didn't recognize what it was supposed to be. It wasn't until a maniacal, Bray like grin crossed Rowan's face.

"Your boy is poison." The grin turned into a sneer. "The rat that leads him into the trap. We won't let him. Not again."

"You think DEAN'S the problem?" Seth couldn't believe this. He couldn't fucking believe what he was hearing. This was the most insane thing he had ever heard, and he had heard some crazy shit in his life.

"Always has been. Always will be." Rowan's eyes narrowed. "He still loves him. He's slipping away. But we won't let him. Not again."

Seth looked back at Roman. Neither one of them had even considered the fact that Bray hadn't been the one to send Rowan here. Seth wasn't even sure he really believed that he wasn't. But his bullshit detector was pretty good, and Rowan didn't seem like he was lying. None of the Wyatts did though. That was the scary thing. They truly believed the shit they said.

"We need to call the cops," Roman said firmly.

"Because they did such a bang up job of keeping Bray." Seth yanked the screwdriver out of Rowan's leg, happy to hear him scream in pain. "They let the fucker go after he attacked Dean at the hospital. They got here after he nearly killed us all that one night." He gestured the bloody screwdriver wildly at Rowan. "You think they can do better with him?"

"We can't keep him here! They'll fucking come for us if he stays here."

"They'll fucking come for us if we ship him off!" Seth looked around for something to gag Rowan with. Nothing was in sight. He was going to have to go in the house and find something. "They'll come no matter what. Maybe if we keep him we could like, use him as a bargaining tool."

Roman frowned. "A bargaining tool?"

Seth nodded. "Yeah. Like, we can tell them they can't have their boy back unless they leave Dean alone."

"That's a terrible fucking idea."

"Well your cops idea isn't any fucking better."

"Still better than your idea."

"Whatever. Rowan's our bait." Seth wanted it to be left at that. Roman however, was not taking the hint."

"He is not going to be our bait. I'm calling the fucking cops."

"And how are you going to explain how we have him?"

Roman started to wheel himself back. "You stabbed him during the struggle. We tied him up. Simple as that."

Seth tried to argue more, but Roman was already back in the house. "Damn it!" He gave Rowan one last look of contempt before chasing after the Samoan. "Ro! Babe! Wait up!"

* * *

Dean leaned back against the locked bathroom door. He had Kevin in his lap and his phone in his hand. Even from where he was, he could hear the faint sound of Roman and Seth arguing. They were probably trying to decide what to do next. Maybe he needed to be there for the discussion, but he couldn't bring himself to go down there. He just kept looking at the number that was still on his phone. It was the number Bray had called him from. The last conversation they had was playing in his head. Bray hadn't sounded that angry when they had talked. But how could he not have been. Dean had put a bullet in his head. Of course he had to be pissed. The question was, why had it just been Rowan? Why hadn't Bray himself come? Was it a warning? A sign of things to come? Or had Rowan acted for the sake of his own revenge? Neither he or Harper liked him. Both of them wanted him dead long before this. Maybe it had been Harper who had sent Rowan here. Maybe Bray didn't even know. It seemed doubtful, given how much control Bray had over his flock. But there was still a chance. And Dean had to know for sure.

His thumb felt heavy as he dialed the number. The voice in his head was screaming that he was going to regret it. But that didn't stop him from putting the phone to his ear. It didn't stop him from waiting on baited breath with each ring of the phone. Roman and Seth would go nuts if they found out what he was doing. Part of him wished they would interrupt. Make him come to his senses. But they were so very far away out in the garage, and just when he about hung up on his own, Bray's voice made him stop.

"Little lamb?"

If his throat hadn't hurt so much, he would have gulped. "Your boy tried to kill me."

"What are you talking about?"

"Sheep boy."

"Rowan? He's with you?"

Dean bit his lower lip. Bray sounded genuinely confused. It seemed like he didn't know. But Dean was afraid of fully trusting his gut on that. What if he was wrong? What if he was too clouded and fucked up to know anything when it came to Bray. "Seth stopped him. He was going to kill me. Did you send him?"

"Why would I send him to do that?" Bray sounded genuinely curious. "Because of our last...regretful incident?"

"Regretful?" Dean's throat ached as his voice spiked. "You tried to kill me! You shot Roman! You-"

"You tried to put me down like a dog," Bray reminded him. "A regular man would have died. But you forgot that I'm not a regular man."

"No. You're fucking insane."

Bray was silent for a long time. Dean almost thought he hung up when he spoke again. "I still think of you. She tells me not to. But I can't stop."

Dean felt his insides go cold. "Bray..."

"I still love you."

"No." Dean shook his head. "No no no don't do this. Don't do this to me. I just want you to call off your boys. Don't let them near me and mine again."

"And what do I get out of stopping them?" Bray asked. "You shot me darlin. Just because I love you doesn't mean I'm not angry over that." He chuckled, though it was hard to tell whether it was because he actually found something funny or because he just knew it would scare Dean. Hell, maybe it was a combination of both. "Maybe I should let them have their fun. Rowan will try it again."

"Rowan's going to jail. Roman's calling the cops."

Bray laughed again. "And how well did the jail idea work for me? I'll free him. Just like he helped to free me."

Dean clutched Kevin so tightly against his chest that the little dog whined in protest. "Please..."

"Please what?"

"What do you get out of this?" Dean had to ask. It was fucking genuinely confusing and concerning as to what the fuck Bray was even getting out of this anymore. "We nearly killed each other. This isn't healthy. This isn't love. This is just sick."

"It doesn't have to be." Bray sounded more serious now. "Just let me see you."

"No."

"I need you."

"And I can't do this again! You're not the fucking only one who gets a say in this Bray!" Dean let Kevin go so he could hug his knees to his chest instead. His eyes burned with tears. He wasn't going to cry. No no no he couldn't do that. He couldn't fucking give Bray that kind of power. "This isn't just about you. That's not how relationships work. I'm sorry to fucking break that to you."

"Because you know all so fucking well about how they work." Bray was getting angry now. The voice in Dean's head was telling him to hang up. Just hang up before he said something to make it even worse.

Dean tensed at those words. "I'm trying here. You're not even making an attempt."

"Oh I'm not? I'm down there trying to get you. I live every day trying to pretend I'm not in total darkness." Bray picked up speed as he talked, not giving Dean the chance to interrupt. "I thought I wanted you here in the darkness with me. But maybe I want the light now. But there's no light without you."

"There wasn't light anywhere in our relationship. You prey on people. You preyed on me and fucking used everything you could against me. You getting off on that isn't a fucking "light". It's just fucking gross."

"Is that what your little doctor says?"

"That's how it is. I don't need her to say anything to see it now." Dean wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "Keep Rowan away from me or I swear-"

"You swear to what?" There it was. Too many buttons of Bray's had been pressed now. He was angry at being threatened. Angry about being rejected. Angry because he was just so very far away from what he really wanted. "Are you going to kill me? You failed at that the first time. You can try if you want, but I'll come back. I'll come back and I'll come straight for you."

Dean shook his head. "Stop it."

"Make me stop," Bray dared. "You're the one who called me. You have my boy in your grasp. You could have just let the cops take him, but you just had to call me. And to what? Ask me questions you know the answers to? You know that when I want to get you, I'll be there for it. And you know why?"

"Don't..."

"Because you're mine."

"No."

"Because I love you."

"Stop."

"Do they even know you're talking to me?"

The sudden change in topic threw Dean off guard. "What?"

"Your boys," Bray clarified. "Do they know you called me?"

Dean couldn't answer that without lying. And Bray always knew when he was lying.

"Keeping secrets from them again little lamb? That's not a very good sign, now is it?"

"I'm not...it's just..I..."

"Are you really happier being with them? Do they really understand you? Did getting away from me even solve anything? Or are you still haunted? By me and everyone else? Everyone who hurt you." Bray was getting warmed up again. "You never told me all the stories, but I never needed you to. You blame me for breaking you, but really, you were broken long before I had you."

Dean just stared at the floor. It wasn't like Bray was wrong there.

"Maybe they do love you. Maybe I was wrong about that. But they'll never be able to fix you. They won't know how. They've never been broken or lost the way you are. They can't understand, even if they really want to. Trying to will just exhaust them. The darkness that lives in you will weigh them down too."

Dean needed him to stop. He needed just to hang up. But his body wouldn't listen to anything his brain said.

"And maybe they'll just hate you for it. Or you'll hate them because they were supposed to make it all better, right? Isn't that why you chose them? To be better?"

Dean bit down on his lower lip so hard he drew blood.

"Am I touching a nerve darlin?"

His fingers finally worked enough to end the call. Dean let the phone drop out of his hand, ignoring it when Bray almost immediately called back. He was stupid. He was so very god damn stupid and he fucking hated himself for it. "Bad." He hit his head back against the door as hard as he could "Bad bad bad bad bad..."

 


	8. Chapter 8

It wasn't hard to find Luke after he was done talking to Dean. Even with not knowing this compound the way he did the old one, there were only so many places for Harper to go. He eventually found him by the pond with Isabella, the two of them talking quietly to each other. Bray was careful as he approached, not making a sound so he could listen in on their little conversation. The both of them had their eyes focused out on the water, so they didn't see him coming.

"Do you really think he can do it?" Isabella pulled her dress up so she could move closer to the water and put her feet in it. "Do you think Brother Rowan can kill the bad man?"

Harper nodded. His fingers wrapped around a rock, picking it up and rubbing against its sharp edges. "He's been waiting for this. He's wanted it since the beginning." He brought the rock closer to his face, examining it closely. "Bray took him in. Protected him from a world that was cruel to him. His parents abandoned him because he was different. Others mocked him. They stripped him of innocence, made him a monster. But Bray saved him. And now Bray is the one who needs saved." He threw the rock out into the pond. "Dean Ambrose is a rat who can slither like a snake. He calls to Bray, tempting him to stray."

"But why can't Brother Bray see it?" Isabella asked with a frown. "He sees everything."

"Brother Bray..." Luke's lip curled. "He's in love."

"But he loves us, doesn't he?"

"Of course. But there's different kinds of love. We're his family, but Dean...you know how we had the wedding for Lawrence and Catherine a couple months ago?"

She nodded.

"They fell in love. And it can be the sweetest thing in the world for some. But for others it's dangerous. It's poison. And you can't fight it the way you can other things, no matter how strong you are." He put his hand on her shoulder. "That's why Bray needs us to fight for him. Dean Ambrose sank into his heart and his brain. He can't see what he needs to see. He won't hear the things he needs to hear."

Bray raised his eyebrows. It was time to make his presence known. "Oh I'm seeing and hearing plenty. Don't you two worry about that."

Both Luke and Isabella jumped at the sound of his voice. Isabella's eyes went wide, her face fearful because they had been caught. Luke masked anything he felt really quick, instead just staring at Bray passively.

"You want to know what just happened to me?" Bray put his hands behind his back and tilted his head to the side. "It was actually quite interesting." He gave them only a split second to respond before just telling them. "I got a call from one Mr. Dean Ambrose. Apparently, our dear Rowan did in fact almost get him. But Mr. Rollins just managed to save the day." His eyes narrowed at Luke, who looked furious. "And now he's certainly in jail because you sent him on his own. And really, did we learn nothing from when I tried to kill my little lamb? You were the one telling me then to drop it. That seeking vengeance was only going to dig my own grave."

"This wasn't vengeance." Harper stood up so he could face Bray fully. "This was to protect you."

"Maybe somewhat, but let's not pretend you two haven't been just looking for any excuse to get him." Bray closed the distance between him and Luke, but kept his hands behind his back. "I appreciate the concern, but I don't need your protection. My little lamb is my business. I will handle him as I see fit."

"He doesn't even want you," Luke said bluntly. "He never loved you. Not like you loved him. He doesn't deserve you. Dirty street rat is all he is. It's all he's ever been."

"Some used to say the same thing about you. But I never judged you." Bray placed a hand on Luke's chest. "Jealousy is still an ugly thing for you to wear Luke. And all it's done now is land Erick in jail." He even had to cringe as he thought about that one. Erick had spent years in and out of institutions before he got his hands on him. There was no way he was handling this well. "We have to get him. We need to bail him out and see what exactly Mr. Rollins did to him to stop him."

Harper nodded. They could at least agree on that. "And what do we do if he's hurt him?"

"Then we deal with him."

"And what of Ambrose?"

Bray didn't immediately answer that one. This was much more tricky area. He knew what Abigail was saying to him. He knew what his family wanted. But his heart was already beating faster at the mere thought of being so close to Dean. His body tingled in anticipation. There was no way he could go there and not at least see him. Even if he tried, it was a fight he wouldn't win. "You let me worry about him." It wasn't the answer Luke was looking for, but it was the best Bray could give him. "You just help me worry about our boy."

* * *

Dean didn't tell Roman and Seth about calling Bray. He knew he needed to. It wasn't right to keep it from them. But they were still upset by the time the cops hauled Rowan off to jail, so it didn't feel like the right time to bring it up. And as more days passed, he found that he was scared of how they would react anyway. It had been a stupid thing to do. He knew this. But what if they got mad at him? He couldn't really justify what he had done. At least not good enough for them to not be majorly upset. So he just stayed quiet, the anxiety burning away inside of him. Every moment he just kept expecting Bray to walk in the door. It wouldn't shock him if it happened. That would just be Bray's way of doing things. But he hoped that it wouldn't come to that. He didn't want to deal with it all again. He wanted things to be okay. He wanted to keep trying to rebuild his life, but it just felt like it was a matter of time before it all fell apart.

"Have you ever thought about contacting your mother?"

Dr. Walsh's question brought Dean back to the present. He was sitting across from her, his gaze having been down on his lap until then. Seth was waiting outside the room while Jimmy and Jey accompanied Roman to his physical therapy session. Dean didn't know if Seth was eavesdropping, so he just wasn't going to tell Walsh about his call to Bray either. That gave her room to bring up this, which wasn't a much better topic. "Why?" he asked sullenly. "I have nothing to say to her."

Dr. Walsh didn't look convinced. "I think you have a lot to say to her. I think maybe it would be good for you. You've held so much in for so long. If you said what you had to say-"

"What would I even say? Hey Mom, you're a fucking bitch for choosing drugs over me? For letting your boyfriends beat the shit out of me?" Dean swallowed hard and rubbed his eyes. "What's that going to do? Why should she even care? She didn't care then and she won't now." He waved his right hand around wildly. "I just...want to erase her. Erase all of them. I don't need their fucking shit."

"You can't just erase the things done to you."

"Why not?"

"Because these things have helped to shape you. They've made you who you are. Maybe you buried them before, but Bray brought them out and they're clearly not going away again now. You need to confront these things head on now, and I think your mother is a good starting point."

It wasn't that she didn't have a good point. Maybe it would be better just to have it out with his mother. To confront her and put it in her face of what she had done wrong with him. But the thought of her still not caring was still too scary for him to want to do it. Her indifference was not something he needed. Not in the state he was in. Maybe if Bray wasn't back in the picture it would be different. But now it just felt like all his energy was going to not falling back into his trap. And he couldn't fucking tell her. He didn't even know if he wanted to tell her now. So he just clammed up, picking at his jeans for the rest of the session and grunting. Once he was able he rushed out of there, not even stopping to look at Seth as he walked.

"Hey!" Seth almost had to jog to catch up to him. "Dude, what' wrong? What did she say?"

"Blah blah blah, talk to your mom. Blah blah blah confront your issues." Dean hit the button to the elevator angrily. "I don't fucking want to talk to her. I got enough shit to deal with. I don't need her back in my life." He saw the look Seth was giving him and groaned. "Don't say it. Please don't."

Seth cringed. "I think she's right."

"Of course you do. And maybe she fucking is." The elevator doors opened and they stepped inside it. "But we have bigger things to fucking worry about than shit she let happen to me over ten years ago." The doors closed and Dean slumped back against the wall. "I can't deal with her if Bray and his boys are running around. I just fucking can't."

"Alright." Seth put a hand on Dean's shoulder and squeezed tightly. "No Mama Ambrose for you."

"Good." There was at least that settled. The tiniest bit of relief washed over Dean. It didn't last long though. The moment they stepped outside, it felt like they were being watched. He looked around, his heart racing a little now. He didn't see anyone blatantly watching them, but that didn't mean anything. "Seth?"

"Yeah?" Seth had opened the car door but stopped before getting in.

Dean looked around more. The hairs on the back of his neck were standing straight up. His stomach was twisting uncomfortably. He couldn't shake the feeling that they were being watched.

"Dean?" Seth sounded worried. "What is it?"

"I...I think he's here."

Seth's face paled. He looked around now, searching for any sign of Bray. "Fuck." He bit down on his lower lip. "Are you sure?"

Dean nodded. He didn't want to. But everything in his brain was telling him it was the case. "Call Roman." He got in the car and tried to buckle his seatbelt. His hands were shaking to bad to allow him to do it. "Seth come on. Call Roman. Make sure he's okay."

"Okay okay." Seth got in the car and pulled out his phone. "I'm calling." He got the car started so he could drive with one hand and use the phone with the other. "Just breathe alright? I won't let him get you. I stopped Rowan and I can stop Bray too."

Stopping Rowan was an entirely different thing than stopping Bray. Dean didn't look to argue. He just stared out the window instead. Even as they were driving away, he couldn't shake the feeling he was having. He wasn't even surprised. Thanks to him, Bray knew Rowan was in jail. Bray and the others would be coming to get Rowan out. And as long as they were here, of course they would come looking for him. And by association, Seth and Roman. This was all his fault. Again.

"What do you mean they called and said Rowan's out?" Seth's hysteric voice nearly made Dean jump out of his seat. "He tried to KILL Dean! Since when is that not enough to keep someone in custody anymore?"

Dean didn't hear what Roman was saying on the other line. He wasn't sure if he wanted to hear it. Instead he just pressed his forehead to the window and closed his eyes. Breathe. He had to breathe. They could do this. They could get through this. He just couldn't panic. He had to keep it together or he would just make everything worse.

* * *

It was supposed to just be a look. A quick look after bailing Rowan out of jail. Bray got Rowan somewhat settled at a hotel and ordered Harper to finishing tending to him while Bray took his sneak peek. But the moment he laid eyes on Dean, he knew he was already in too deep. He found Dean and Seth coming from the therapist's office, Dean all twitchy and upset. All the sit downs with the dear doctor didn't seem to be having the desired effect now. Bray watched them go to the car, eyes widening when Dean clearly sensed his presence. Dean could feel him there. The realization tickled him completely. For as long as they had been apart, for as much as Dean claimed to not want him anymore, they still had a connection. A connection that just couldn't be broken. They were a moth and a flame, though he wasn't even sure which one of them was which at this point. He didn't want to put too much thought into it. Not now. Not when he had no time to waste. Harper and Rowan were expecting to go home in the morning. That would probably be all he could make them wait without causing another argument.

He lost sight of Seth and Dean when they drove off. Not that it mattered. He knew where they lived, so he got there just fine. Once he arrived he circled the house, watching right through the windows. Roman still wasn't fully recovered from his gunshot wound, which suited Bray just fine. It wouldn't bother him in the slightest if Roman never fully regained his ability to walk. He watched him and Seth talk anxiously, Seth getting completely agitated while Roman tried to remain calm. He couldn't hear what was being said, but he felt it was safe to guess that they were thinking about running again. It would be just like them. Run and hide his little lamb. But there was only so long they could do that. Hadn't they learned from last time? They couldn't run and hide forever. One way or another, he would always catch up to them.

It wasn't lost on him that Dean wasn't taking part in the argument. A climb up the tree let him see Dean inside one of the bedrooms. He was on the bed, a bottle of vodka in hand and a cigarette in the other. The look on his face was a mix of emotions. Fear, anger, anxiety; they all blended together and drove him to self medicate. And his boys seemed to have no idea. Every time Dean took a glance at the door made it clear that he was meaning to hide it. Bray could only shake his head. Dean was still lost. Determination was one thing, but just because one wanted to find a way out of the woods didn't mean that it could just magically be done. It took time. Effort. And sometimes, even after all the effort, one could easily find that there was no way out. They could discover that it was just their destiny to be lost.

He climbed down from the tree and circled the house. There had to be a way in. There wouldn't be a key to get from under a mat or an unlocked door. The Shield boys weren't completely stupid. But there still had to be a way in. A weakness for him to exploit. Everyone and everything had a weakness. It was just a matter of finding it.

The basement window didn't look as new or fixed up as the others. A simple push on it got it open. Bray waited for a moment, listening to see if he heard any alarms going off. When he didn't he smiled. There it was. He squeezed in, slithering in feet first so he wouldn't fall on his head. It was almost surprising they didn't have a security system down here too. Maybe they just hadn't thought of it. Or maybe they hadn't had time. Trying to fix Dean's mind and Roman's body were clearly two very time consuming things.

Bray looked around the room, his eyes adjusting quickly to the darkness. The room was filled with all sorts of boxes of junk. He swiped his finger over a couple of them, but didn't actually peek inside. Instead he sat down on the bottom step, just listening to the sounds from upstairs. All the talking was muffled, but it didn't sound like they were going anywhere. Not yet. And that was good. Bray liked that. That meant all he had to do now was wait.


	9. Chapter 9

The night dragged by so slowly that Seth thought time had gone still. Every round through the house ended with a glance at the clock, which just didn't seem to move. Anxiety made it too hard to even think about sitting still, let alone sleeping. With Roman not fully healed (and in fact had passed out from physical therapy induced exhaustion despite his best efforts not to), he was left as the protector. Dean was upstairs with Roman, laying in bed and watching TV. Or at least attempting to. He wasn't in any real state to focus on anything but his increasing anxiety and paranoia. Seth could smell alcohol on his breath, but this felt like the completely wrong time to call him out on it. They needed to focus on being prepared for Bray. Though if they were going to be perfectly honest, even with having an idea of what the crazy bastard could throw their way, Seth didn't actually feel prepared for it. For all the preparation that could be done, Bray was still a completely crazy force of nature. All it would take was the tiniest of mistakes for him to turn the situation around into his favor. He was a fucking master of it. Seth couldn't let that happen though. Not again. Dean was trying to put his life together. He didn't need Bray to be back and ready to ruin it.

Seth stopped in the living room so he could look out the window. Everything outside looked normal. It was dark so the neighbors had finally pulled their kids in for the night. There was a couple walking their Dalmatian up the alley, but other than that there was no sign of life out there. He fixed the curtain and stepped away from the window. The only sound he could hear in the house was the faint sound of the TV upstairs. The quiet should have made him feel better. But there was still a horribly uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. The calm didn't feel like a calm that meant nothing was going to happen. It just felt like the calm before the storm. He hated the feeling. He tried to will it away. He really did. But as he made another round through the house, the hair on the back of his neck began to stand up. Something was wrong. Very wrong. He stopped near the basement stairs, his eyes going to the door. The door that was oh so very slightly ajar. The door that had been completely closed when he had gone by it earlier. His breath caught in his throat. Oh no. No no no. It couldn't be possible. It shouldn't have been. But if there had been anything that he had learned in dealing with Bray, the impossible had the tendency to fucking happen.

"Dean!" His voice wasn't the shout that he tried to make it be. Fear choked him. Breathe. He had to breathe and keep his head clear. First thing was to check on Dean and Roman upstairs. Second thing was get them out of the house. He could get them to Jimmy and Naomi's place and come back to search the house in the morning. If things with Bray had been any less drastic in the past, he would admit to that being a drastic plan. But his gut was telling him to not fuck around, and he had to listen.

He moved for the stairs but never got there. The shadow moved in from behind, one hand going over his mouth and the sharp end of a broken piece of wood went directly into his right thigh. He screamed, the sound muffled by the all too familiar hand. The pain shot not just through his leg, but through his whole body as well, rendering him too shocked to move. The figure leaned in and the wild beard against his neck made his skin crawl.

"My boy has a nasty looking wound on his leg." Bray's voice was so quiet that Seth almost didn't even hear him, despite how close they were. "And now by extraordinary coincidence, you do too." He yanked the wood out of Seth's leg, earning himself another muffled scream. "I broke an old coffee table I found down there. Hope you don't mind."

The table was the least of Seth's worries. He struggled against Bray's grip, trying to focus on anything but the pain or the sudden wave of wooziness that hit him. Dean and Roman. He had to protect them. They didn't know Bray was in the house. He felt himself being picked up and immediately started kicking with his good leg. His teeth sank down into Bray's hand. For a moment he thought it worked. Bray let him go. He took in the breath to scream as his legs tried to run. The warning he meant to give never came to pass though. Bray's fist caught him on the back of the head and he found himself falling. His arms didn't get to catch himself in time and he hit the floor head first, going out before he heard Bray's satisfied chuckle.

* * *

Dean chewed on his lower lip as his eyes stayed glued to the television screen. He had turned on Netflix and had turned on Sons of Anarchy because Jimmy and Jey had gotten him into it during the hiatus he had to take after Bray's last attack. They had tried to get him into The Walking Dead, but he wasn't yet willing to go for that one. He had never been into the whole horror genre. Having the shit scared out of him had never been something he liked. Cheesy action flicks were what he liked best. This show was pretty good though. Too bad he couldn't really concentrate on it. He was too freaked out to relax. Seth was running around the house while Roman was passed out, curled up under his arm. Poor guy was trying too hard to get back to one hundred percent. His doctor thought he would get there, but he needed to take it easier on himself than he was. Hurting himself was only going to fuck everything up in the long run. And things getting more fucked up was the last thing they needed. Not with Bray lurking around. Bray.

The mere thought of him sent a shiver down his spine. Knowing he was out there but not knowing when and where he would strike was fucking so badly with his head. It was setting in that no matter how hard he tried to pick up the pieces of his life and move on, he had no control over Bray's obsession. He couldn't make him stop coming after him. Reasoning with him hadn't worked. Having him put in jail hadn't worked. The whole shooting him in the head thing hadn't worked. What did he have to do? Did one of them actually have to die to end this? Dean didn't want to think about that. He didn't want to kill anyone. Not even Bray. It would surely be deserved, but it made him feel weird and twisted inside to even think about it.

His inability to concentrate made him finally turn off the show. Kevin looked up from his spot at the foot of the bed. "Sorry buddy." Dean untangled himself from Roman so he could sit up and scratch the little dog behind the ears. "Keep Roman company okay? I'm going to go check on your daddy."

Kevin tilted his head back to lick his hand before getting up and actually moving to lay with Roman. Dean grinned. Dog was pretty smart. He got off the bed and headed out of the room. His sweat pants hung low on his hips, actually nearly ready to fall off. It was starting to make him feel like he had on a pair of Roman's. That probably was the case. He didn't tend to pay attention to the stuff he put on until it didn't fit right. He wasn't going back to change now though. Instead he just went downstairs. He didn't hear Seth walking around anymore. The house was quiet. Too quiet. Dean stopped at the bottom of the stairs and looked around. "Seth?" He swallowed hard as his voice shook. "Seth where are you?"

No answer. This wasn't right. Something really wasn't fucking right. "Seth?" He slowly moved away from the staircase and headed towards the kitchen. "Seth where are you?" He listened carefully, desperate to hear any kind of noise that would tell him where the younger man was. "This isn't funny!" He tried to keep his voice firm. Maybe if he pretended that Seth was messing around long enough, it would somehow magically be the case. "This fucking funny you can't..." His voice trailed off as he walked into the kitchen. His heart stopped and plummeted down into his stomach. His jaw dropped and his chest tightened so badly that he couldn't even breathe. He wasn't surprised by what he was seeing. He couldn't be. Not after everything that had happened before. But it didn't stop him from wanting to scream. It didn't mean he wasn't so terrified that he couldn't even think to scream. It didn't mean that he didn't just want to roll up into a ball and die on the spot, because that sounded like a much better option at the moment.

"Hello darlin." Bray was sitting at the kitchen table, leaning back in one of the chairs with his feet kicked up on the table. He was smiling. He was fucking smiling like he was an invited guest. "You're not going to scream now are ya?"

Dean needed to. He fucking needed to. But his voice still refused to work. Bray actually waited, seemingly wanting to genuinely find out if he would scream or not. When he saw that it wasn't going to happen yet, a smile crossed his face. "Good. Good. I like that." He took his feet off the table and put the chair back on all four legs. "I've missed you." He was just going to start right in. Get out what he could before Dean changed his mind about the screaming thing. "I did try to stay away. Honest. But I couldn't resist. Not when I had to bail out my boy."

"Where's Seth?" Dean forced himself to get that question out at least. He still felt like he couldn't breathe. How did Bray get in? When had he gotten in? Were Harper and Rowan around? What was the plan? He had to find out. He had to get to Seth and Roman and Kevin and get them out. He had to fucking breathe because fuck, he felt like he was going to pass out. "What did you do to him?"

"He's around." Bray stood up. "He's lucky it was me who got a hold of him and not Rowan. My boy isn't too happy about that wound on his leg."

"He tried to kill me." Dean tried to swallow down the lump in his throat. "He deserved it."

"Did he? Because he and Rowan are under the impression that you deserve to die." Bray put his hands behind his back and slowly approached Dean. "I'm sure you don't agree with that." His lips twitched and his eyes refused to leave Dean's. "What everyone deserves seems to be a matter of perspective, don't you think?"

Scream. Run. His mind begged for him to do one of these two things. But he didn't. What was the point? Who would he scream to? Roman? He wouldn't be able to do much of anything. Seth? He was clearly already taken care of by Bray. He was alone. Nobody was going to save him.

Bray stopped right in front of him. His hands stayed behind his back but he leaned forward, putting his face uncomfortably close to his. "I really did miss you. I know I've told you that, but I really need you to understand how much it's hurt in here." He moved one arm back around and Dean flinched. Bray raised an eyebrow and put his hand over his own chest instead of actually touching him just yet. "They're all in my head. Luke. Erick. Abigail. All of them. Telling me to stop. They don't understand though. Trying is not all that simple. I mean, if it was, you'd be all better by now wouldn't you?"

Dean stiffened. "You don't know anything."

"Don't I?" Bray leaned in entirely too close once again. Honoring things like personal space was still an issue with him. "So can you look me in the eye and tell me that all your trying has paid off? Can you tell me you're all nice and fixed just because this whole trying thing is nice and simple. Because if you can, you know what? I'll leave right now. And I won't ever come back."

Dean's first instinct was to just say it then. He opened his mouth to do it. His brain screamed for it. But he faltered as Bray just gave him a look. There was no lying to him. Not for the lack of wanting to of course; it just wouldn't do any good. Bray fucking knew him too well to fall for it. "That's not fair. That's not fucking fair you bastard."

"Nobody said life was fair little lamb." Bray put his one arm back behind his back with the other. "The world is harsh and cruel. It don't give a damn about what you want. It don't even give a damn about what I want. He circled Dean slowly, making Dean have to turn with him so his back wouldn't be to him for even a single second. "If it did, do you really think we'd be here right now?" He shook his head, answering his own question. "You'd be home with me. You never would have left. Your boys never would have been a factor." His lip curled at having to mention Seth and Roman. "But none of that matters. You don't want anything to do with me. Yet I can't stay away." He grabbed the front of Dean's shirt, not letting him step back. "So if neither of us are winning, what are we supposed to do?"

That was the million dollar question. Dean had no idea how to answer it. He could say Bray needed to get out. To just leave him and Roman and Seth alone. To accept that he had lost but what good would saying it even do? He could say it until he was blue in the face but that didn't mean Bray would accept it. "Let go of me," he finally said. There they were. He could settle for that.

"No."

"Don't do this." Dean tried to yank himself out of Bray's grip. "Don't fucking do this. Not again."

"I'm not doing anything."

"Bullshit!" Anger rose in Dean like a fire now. "That's fucking bullshit!" His voice was rising. He was going to wake up Roman. Hopefully Roman would have the sense to call the cops instead of trying to come down there and handle this himself. "Fucking let go of me!" He tried harder to yank himself free.

"Little lamb..."

The anger got the best of Dean. He reared his hand back and slapped Bray across the face as hard as he could. The smack seemed to echo through the whole room. Bray's head rocked to the side and Dean froze, in disbelief that he had actually done that. Bray stayed completely still for a long moment. His hair hung over his face and his hand kept its strong grip on his shirt. He wasn't letting go. Fuck. Dean tried to yank himself free again. He didn't care if he ripped his shirt. Bray's gaze was coming back to him and there was an iciness to his stare now. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. He shouldn't have hit him. He fucked up. He totally fucked up.

Anger got the best of Bray next. His strike was much worse than a slap though. It was a drastic overreaction. Or perhaps his anger now combined itself with the anger over getting shot in the head and it all just came bubbling out. Whatever it was, it got him spun around and slammed into the wall. One hand slapped itself over his mouth while the other took his left arm and yanked his shoulder out of its socket. He screamed, the sound muffled by Bray's hand. Tears of pain burned his eyes. That fucking bad shoulder. It was a perpetual target for his opponents in the ring. Of course Bray would go for it. He tried to breathe. To focus on anything but the pain. His stomach was twisting and churning on itself. He was going to get sick. Fuck, he was going to be so sick.

He was spun back around so he was facing Bray as he was slammed against the wall once more. The hand came off his mouth but he didn't get the chance to scream. Bray's lips were on his before he could stop them. The kiss sent a shock through his whole body. He stiffened up, whimpering as Bray pressed himself against him. His left arm dangled uselessly next to him while his right one failed in pushing Bray away. Despite the pain and the torment Bray had put him through, there was a spark in the kiss. He could feel the desperation in it. The wild need. For all the love and stability that came with Roman and Seth, they didn't NEED him like this. They WANTED him but they didn't NEED him. _Bray doesn't need YOU either. He needs what he can turn you into. He needs his favorite victim. You know this. Don't fall for it. Don't fucking fall for it you idiot._

He jerked his head away and was surprised when Bray actually let him do it. They both gasped for breath, chests rising and falling rapidly. Bray didn't move away from the wall. He kept Dean nice and pinned down there, seemingly enjoying watching Dean squirm.

"I love you."

"No."

"No?"

"You...you love an idea of me." Dean swallowed hard, trying not to lose his nerve as he said this. "You don't fucking love me for me. You never did. I was...your like...favorite fucking toy that you could like break and mold into whatever you wanted." He shook his head, his eyes pleading with Bray to understand. "That's not love. I might still be a fucked up mess, but I know that."

"Not love huh?" Bray's eyes narrowed. "You think I don't know what love is? You think I would be here if I didn't love you?"

"You're obsessed! Obsession isn't love." Dean tried to push him away again. "You can't keep dragging us down this road. I don't want to fucking be on it. You're driving us both fucking insane!" He swore he could hear a thump from upstairs and prayed that was Roman trying to get to a phone. They had to get Bray out of there and find out what the fuck he had done to Seth. "Abigail said to let me go. Listen to her."

"Listening to her got us into this whole mess," Bray reminded him.

"And she's trying to get you out!" Talking about a dead woman he had never met before in his life didn't feel as weird as it should have. She came up so often with Bray she might as well had just been there. "She's trying to save you. Let her save you."

"And what if saving me meant getting rid of you?" Bray's hand went to his throat and squeezed entirely too hard. "What if she's telling me to kill you? Do you still want me to listen? Would you care about my soul's salvation if it meant your life?" His grip tightened and the choked out noise that escaped him was something Bray took as a no. "Didn't think so." He got his face real close again, their lips almost touching again. "I could do it." He stared intently as Dean's increasingly blue turning face. "I didn't come in here with reckless abandon like last time. I could take care of you, the little rat and your broken superhero upstairs."

Dean uselessly smacked his hand against Bray's chest. The lack of oxygen was starting to make his brain short-circuit. His left arm still dangled uselessly. His feet weren't even helping to hold him up. He was fading away oh so very fast.

"Or maybe I could have you again." Bray let go of his throat and grabbed him by both arms instead. "Your boys can't stop me. You can't either." Bray let his eyes go up and down Dean's body. He was hungry for it. He hadn't had Dean since the night Roman and Seth ran with him at the arena. Dean squirmed uncomfortably. Bray wasn't fucking wrong with what he said. Nobody would be able to stop him if he did it.

"Don't...please..." That was the most Dean could really say before the pain in his throat became too much to continue.

"Dean!" Roman's voice came from upstairs. "Dean where are you?"

Bray's lips found Dean's again, silencing him before he could scream. His hands moved over Dean's body, ultimately shoving his shoulder back into place. His cries of pain were swallowed by the kiss. Dean could faintly hear Roman call out for him again, but he could barely process it. His eyes were glued to Bray's as they broke apart, chest growing tight at the smirk on his lips.

"I'll be seeing you." Bray let him go after one last kiss to the forehead. Dean's legs gave out from under him and he sank to the floor. His eyes stayed on Bray until he strolled out the door. Once it clicked shut behind him, he closed them and finally screamed, prompting Roman to literally drag himself out from the bedroom and scaring the shit out of Seth, who had been bound and gagged in the pantry the whole time.


	10. Chapter 10

The empty playground seemed to be as good of a place to go as any. Bray wasn't ready to go back to his hotel room yet, so he went there instead. He circled the slides and jungle gym before sitting down on one of the swings. His body was buzzing with a renewed energy. Seeing Dean had gone about how he had expected it to. He hadn't been naïve enough to think that Dean would welcome him back with open arms. Not with the way things ended. But it still felt good to see him. To touch him. To kiss him...the kisses were really stuck on his brain. The moment their lips had met it had felt like a spark had gone off inside of him. And even if he would deny it, Bray knew Dean had felt it too. Despite everything that had happened, their connection was still there. That deep, dark, primal connection that kept him so ensnared. The only part that he found himself wishing to take back was ripping Dean's shoulder out of its socket. That had been a mistake on his part. Nothing like that was going to help him get Dean back.

Getting Dean back. What an idea that was. So many people were opposed to it. Seth, Roman, Harper, Rowan...there were more to name, but those were his main adversaries. Roman and Seth believed Dean to be theirs. They hadn't yet gotten tired of him. But that wasn't meaning their paths were smooth sailing. Dean hadn't been able to lie to him about being better. For all this therapy, for all the support Roman and Seth were supposed to be giving him, it hadn't fixed him. Not in the way Bray knew he had wanted it to. He was still damaged. He was still a broken soul. Bray knew they had put the blame on him, but what nobody had wanted to face was the fact that Dean had been that way before he had come into the picture. He had been the one to see it. Dean had never shared the specifics to the things that had happened to him, but Bray never really needed him to. He could guess enough of it all on his own.

He grabbed the chains on the swing and twisted them tightly as he began to rock slowly. The wind was picking up, the breeze feeling nice against his skin. He hadn't wanted to leave. Hell, he probably could have gotten away with not doing it. Seth had been subdued. Roman wouldn't have been hard to take out. But he had chosen to leave. It had felt like the wiser thing to do. Doing everything with such violence only got him so far. That had been proven. He needed to try a different approach. One that would lure Dean back in. He needed Dean to crave him. To need him. Bray felt that way towards him and he needed it to be returned. It was going to require a tremendous amount of patience. And thankfully, patience was still one of his virtues.

The sight of a police car driving down the street made Bray pause. He kept his eyes trained on it, his grip on the chain tightening to the point that it hurt. His heartbeat kicked up in anticipation. He expected the car to stop. He expected the officer to get out and come at him because Reigns and Rollins had called the police. But if they had, the cop missed him completely. The car kept going by and Bray smirked. Even out here, more blatantly in the open, he still was a ghost. That was good. That was very good. That was all he needed. "Tiiiime is on my side." His voice was barely audible too his own ears as he began to rock in the swing once again. "Time is on my side, yes it is..."

* * *

Dean was tired of hospitals. That was something he could say with absolute certainty. Yet there he was, waiting with Roman while Seth got his leg patched up. Seth had refused medical treatment until they dropped Kevin off at Jimmy and Naomi's. Home wasn't safe and they needed to figure out another place to stay. Roman's family was an obvious answer until one remembered what Bray and his band of freaks did to Seth's family. And even if Bray didn't have his followers backing his quest for Dean, he was pretty damn capable of causing massive waves of destruction all on his own. That did leave the issue of where they could possibly stay. A hotel would be a more contained space if they all just stayed in their room, but what if they needed ice? Or drinks? Or what if they needed food that couldn't be delivered? No matter what they did, there would be variables that Bray could inevitably fucking exploit. The only actual solution was to fall off the face of the earth and that wasn't a plan that anyone would agree with. So that left them at totally squared fucked.

Dean groaned and leaned over so he could rest his head on Roman's shoulder. Roman immediately grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly. They hadn't really talked a lot since they got there. Between worrying about Seth and wondering just what the fuck they were going to do next, there wasn't a whole lot of room for conversation.

"Did he hurt you?" Roman had only asked that question a dozen times between the time Bray left the house and getting to there at the hospital.

"No." Dean felt bad for lying. He really did. But he didn't want to get into the whole deal with his shoulder. He was sensitive enough about that issue, considering the original source of all the problems with it. Any time it hurt he acted like it didn't, so he didn't really consider his silence as protecting Bray.

Roman didn't believe him. Nobody ever really did. Most of the time they just left him alone about it. It wasn't worth the fight he put up. This wasn't one of those times. "You could barely help Seth."

"I'm fine."

"You wince just moving it."

"I said I'm fine."

"Don't protect him."

"I'm not!" Dean moved away from Roman and glared at him. "Fucking shit man. I said I was fine. Why do you got to push?"

"I'm not trying to push." Roman sighed as Dean just grunted at him. "You don't expect me to believe that he just popped in for a chat. Not when Seth has a fucking hole in his leg." He turned himself as much as he could in his chair and leveled Dean with a steady gaze. "Did he touch you?"

Dean picked at the hem of his shirt.

"Dean. Did he r-"

"No."

"Did he try?"

"No."

"He hurt your shoulder though?"

Dean groaned.

"You need to see a doctor."

"I'm fine."

"No. I'm getting a doctor."

"Don't get a fucking doctor!" Dean glared at him now. "Look, he didn't jack it up anymore than I do in my own damn matches. So just leave it alone, alright?"

It was hard to pinpoint the exact expression on Roman's face, but it was far from a happy one. "What else did he do?"

Dean fidgeted in his chair. He didn't want to talk about the kiss. Thinking about the kiss scared the shit out of him. The way he had felt when Bray had done it...that was not something he was about to admit to Roman. That wasn't anything he was supposed to feel. It was wrong. There shouldn't have been a spark. He didn't want that god damn spark. Nor did he want his lips to keep tingling the way they were. Fuck. Why couldn't he make them stop? He wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his leather jacket yet again. That still didn't make it stop. He barely bit back a groan of frustration.

"Dean?" Roman frowned and cautiously put his hand on Dean's leg. "Babe? Talk to me."

"He...he kissed me." Dean had to drag the words out of himself. His body involuntarily shuddered and the tingling in his lips got even worse. Fucking Bray. He had wormed his way in once again. He could still feel his lips on his. His hands gripping his arms entirely too tight. The way he had looked at him. He shuddered again. That was something he wanted to put as far out of his mind as possible.

Roman twitched at his words. His hands clenched into fists. It was a few minutes before he tried to speak, but he didn't get a chance to get any words out. The doctor was approaching, taking their minds off Bray for the time being.

"How is he?" Dean asked.

"The stab wound wasn't quite as deep as we feared, though he lost a fair share of blood before you got to him. He also sustained a concussion, though with him being out of it because of blood loss, we're having a hard time determining how severe it is. We want to keep him for at least tonight for observation."

Dean and Roman exchanged looks. That wasn't necessarily what they wanted to hear, but it was about what they had expected. "Can we see him?" Roman asked.

The doctor didn't look too eager to agree. "Visiting hours-"

"Just for awhile." Roman wasn't going to take a full on no for an answer. "We won't disturb anyone."

The doctor sighed, but ended up leading them to Seth's room anyway. Roman took the lead, even with having to drag himself around with his walker. Dean was close behind, arms wrapped tightly around himself. The effect of Bray was still lingering heavily on his mind. He tried to push it out, not wanting to give him more power than he already had. That was all easier said than done. Heavy fingers played with the edges of his mind, threatening to pull him under once again. He hugged himself more tightly and took a deep breath. Bray wasn't there now. Seeing Seth was the priority. He had to remember that damn it.

The pain in Dean's chest spiked as he and Roman entered Seth's room. Seth was fucking laying there, pale and hurting because of his mess. Again. The logical part of his brain scrambled to remind him that it wasn't his fault. This was all Bray's doing. But it didn't do much against the overwhelming and utterly crushing feeling of guilt. It still felt like he should have been able to stop this somehow.

"Hey." Seth waved them over to the bed, a hint of a smile crossing his features His voice was lower than normal, his speech slightly slurred to boot. "Thank god they finally let you in. I was starting to get pissed."

Roman managed to smile back at him while Dean couldn't really do the same. "How are you feeling?"

"Eh..." Seth shrugged and rubbed his hands over his face. "They're not gonna let me really sleep. Think I got a concussion."

"What happened?" Dean asked as he and Roman took their spots on either side of Seth's bed. They hadn't been able to actually get the story of how Bray got to Seth in the rush to get out of the house. "How did he get in?"

"Basement." Seth's lip curled unhappily. "I think he got in that window." He reached out and grabbed each of their hands. "Fucker snuck up on me with a piece of wood. Fucking wood man. What is that shit?"

"I'm just glad he didn't have a knife." Roman brought Seth's hand to his mouth and kissed his fingertips. "Or stabbed you somewhere worse."

"Yeah..." Seth chewed on his lower lip before looking at Dean. "You okay?"

Dean nodded.

Roman looked like he wanted to say something on the matter, but stopped himself for now. Seth didn't need to hear that now. He could be filled in later, when his head was feeling better. For now, Dean just climbed into the bed with him and wrapped an arm around him, already silently planning with Roman to stay the whole night, despite any objections the doctors and nurses might have.

* * *

"You can't be serious!"

Stephanie's eyes narrowed at Roman for his outburst. Upon getting the news about Seth's injuries, she had flown down to Florida to check on him and then talk business with Roman and Dean. They were at Jimmy and Naomi's house, sitting in the living room with them and Jey. Dean had Kevin in his lap, who had less than zero interest in this conversation. Instead the little thing had two paws on Dean's chest so he could stand up and lick the scar tissue underneath his chin. "I'm completely serious. If Dean is able to compete, we need him on the road. Our roster is stretched thin enough as it is. Punk's still not coming back, Bryan's injury is worse than we thought, you've got no time table of return, Orton's back isn't doing good, Barrett's out with a shoulder and now Seth's out again."

"Don't say that shit like that's his fault," Roman growled. "We were fucking attacked in our own home!"

"And I'm not blaming you! Not any of you! But if Dean's shoulder is in good enough shape, then we need him now more than ever."

"His shoulder isn't fine!" Grey eyes blazed with anger. "He lies about it. He always fucking lies about it."

"Ro, he's sitting right there," Jey reminded him. He looked to Dean, who was trying to be anywhere else but this conversation.

"He knows he lies about it! We go through this all the damn time!" Roman pounded a fist into the couch out of frustration. "The shoulder isn't even the fucking point though. If Dean's out there on his own, Bray's going to come after him."

"He came after him with you and Seth in the house," Naomi reminded him. "That's ultimately why we're even having this conversation.

Roman shot her an absolutely murderous look. "Did anyone ask you?"

"Hey hey hey!" Now Jimmy was getting pissed. "Don't you even come at her. It's not our fault Dean's got a psycho magnet attached to his damn ass."

Guys!" Jey glared at all of them. "He's right fucking there!"

Dean refused to even look up. Instead he kept his gaze on Kevin, who smothered him in tiny dog kisses. His shoulder fucking hurt like hell, but he was too stubborn to admit it. And besides from that, maybe staying on the road wasn't a good idea. Bray could follow him around and not do anymore damage to Seth and Roman. He hurt them enough as it was. Of course, how he would possibly keep Bray from hurting anyone else he'd be around was a matter that he had no idea how to address.

"We'll keep people with him at all times," Stephanie assured Roman. "Security guards, agents, refs, other wrestlers; someone is always going to be with him."

"But-"

"This isn't up for negotiation." Stephanie didn't want to hear it. "We need him, and unless he's planning to pull a Punk and walk, he's obligated to show up when we tell him."

"You-"

"Don't." Dean had to cut in before Roman said something that would get them all in trouble. "It's fine. I'll be fine."

Roman just gave him a look. They both didn't really believe that. But what else could be done? Dean didn't want to lose his job. He didn't want Roman to get himself or even Seth in trouble because of all this. Wrestling was what they loved. It was the one of the few good things he ever had in life. He wasn't looking to get so far in trouble that his career would be jeopardized.

"Good." Stephanie was glad to have that settled. She clapped her hands together and stood up. "Dean, Roman, I promise we'll take all the necessarily precautions to keep you safe."

Right. Safe. What a concept that was. Dean highly doubted her capabilities, but didn't argue the matter. Maybe this would at least mean Seth and Roman would be left alone. That was the best Dean was hoping for anyway.


	11. Chapter 11

"Is he going to be okay?"

Isabella's question snapped Luke out of his brooding. He looked to Rowan, who was the person she was pointing to. They were back home, but it had done little to bring the man back to any resemblance of sanity. He was pacing back and forth again, tugging at his beard and muttering things to himself. Being incarcerated, even for such a short time, had fucked up his head. Before he had come to the family, he had spent the majority of his life imprisoned by his grandparents, who had taken him in when his parents abandoned him. Being locked up made him flash back to that, and now they couldn't get him back. Luke had tried to soothe him. To promise that they would make Rollins pay. Dean still needed to get what was coming to him, but it had been Rollins and Reigns that had ruined everything. Rowan had Ambrose where he wanted him. That much was for sure. He had nearly killed him, and he would have actually done it if the rat Rollins hadn't gotten involved.

"I think he needs Bray."

Luke just grunted. Despite stabbing Seth in the leg for him, Bray wasn't happy with Rowan at all. Or with Harper for the matter. Bray wasn't stupid; he knew Luke had put Erick up to the attack on Dean. Luke hadn't bothered to deny it. This fact though had created a terrible tension in the compound. Most of the followers didn't really know what was going on. They just knew things were not well, which made them nervous. Bray at least tried to soothe them, though Luke knew where his heart was. That was why he had left to go to the bar. He wanted to see if Dean was still on TV, or if they pulled him from the shows since Rollins was clearly going to be out. Harper didn't know what Bray would do in either case. It was becoming more and more clear though that Bray was potentially too far gone for them to get back. Even if they got rid of Dean, he could still spend the rest of his life chasing that ghost. That was a thought that was actually really frightening.

"What if he leaves us?" Isabella tugged on his shirt and brought Luke out of his thoughts. "What are we going to do?"

"He's not going to leave us."

Isabella just gave him a disbelieving look. He wasn't even sure if he believed his own words. Bray had been their guiding hand, but now he had been poisoned. He was absorbed in only his thoughts and feelings. He had changed from what he was supposed to be. Or maybe he had never really been that at all.

Luke tried to shake off that thought. He didn't even want to entertain that one. That wasn't what was going on. Bray just needed help. This was just a time of trouble and tribulation. They would get him through it. He didn't know how, but there had to be a way to do it. And he would find it, even if it was the last thing he ever did.

* * *

The first flower wasn't something Dean thought much of. It was sitting right outside the hotel room door he was sharing with Jey. No note, no sign of who had left it. Jey teased him about an adoring female fan that was too shy to stick around to give it to him in person. Dean had rolled his eyes and brushed it off. But then more started coming. Two were left in the locker he grabbed at the gym. A bouquet was waiting at the receptionist desk right after Smackdown. Two dozen bouquets were left in his locker room after his match against Cesaro on Raw. Seth and Roman swore up and down they weren't sending them. In the midst of some of that swearing, Dean finally found a note. It had fallen off the bench the flowers were left on. He unfolded it and only got past the first two words before his heart seized up in his chest.

_Little lamb_

Bray. He should have known. He crumpled up the paper without reading the rest and tossed it away. Bray had been doing this. Bray was following him. That was the only way he had known where to leave all the flowers. He shuddered and backed away from the flowers. He hadn't felt Bray watching him. He hadn't realized he was so close. How hadn't he realized it? Had Bray tried harder to not be noticed? Or was his mind slipping from him? He didn't know. He didn't want to know. He just wanted it to stop. What were these flowers supposed to even mean? Was Bray trying to woo him? Was Bray suddenly thinking that if he tried using sweeter and more romantic moments that he could somehow be won over? After all that had happened between them? How could he think that? He knew Bray was messed up in the head, but he couldn't think this would work. Too much hurt and pain existed between them. He couldn't trust Bray not to fuck him up.

"Dean?" Jey's voice cut through the haze of his thoughts. He was standing at the door with Jimmy and Naomi, all three of them looking at him in concern. "What's wrong?"

Dean shook his head. "Nothing." He grabbed his bag, doing his best to avoid even looking at the flowers. "Let's go."

None of them believed him. Jimmy started to push the subject, but Naomi and Jey both elbowed him in the gut. They were all walking on egg shells around him. Despite their promises to help him and watch his back, they really didn't know what to do with him. They pitied him really. The whole locker room pitied him. Even the people that hated his guts fucking felt sorry for him. He was a fucking cautionary tale for everyone in the back. And he hated it. He hated the way they looked at him. How they would stop talking as soon as he came near. It was driving him nearly as crazy as Bray was. And honestly, he didn't know how much more he could really take.

The ride back to the hotel was uncomfortable. Jey kept trying to engage him in their conversation, but Dean wasn't willing to take the bait. He wanted to. He really did. He knew it wasn't good for him to dwell like this. But he couldn't trust himself to speak. It was hard enough to keep himself together by just sitting there. If he tried to talk and actually act like things were okay, he would lose it completely. Things weren't okay. They weren't going to be okay. He was breaking apart despite all his efforts to fix himself. Maybe he had been wrong. Maybe he had just fooled himself when he thought he could ever be anything but a broken shell of a man.

"You know what? Let's go out tonight." Jimmy turned around in his seat to stare back at Jey and Dean. Naomi had taken the wheel and already had them halfway to the hotel. "We'll drop our stuff off at the room get some drinks. Maybe dance a little." He pointed to Jey and gave him a smirk. "Maybe find you a woman since you're the lame ass who's single here."

"Fuck you bro." Jey shot him the middle finger for that one.

"Babe come on," Naomi objected. "It's getting late. And we still have to get up and drive to the next city."

"It's only three hours away though," Jimmy argued. "We can stay out until midnight or one, get up at seven, hit the road by eight..." Jimmy stuck out his lower lip so he could give her his best pout. "Grab some catering for lunch and we'll be ready for TV. It'll be perfect."

He actually did make that sound all nice and easy to do. Naomi mulled it over as did Jey. Dean just sat there and rubbed at his collarbone, avoiding eye contact with everyone. Going out and being with people sounded awful. But what good was sitting in the hotel going to do? He could probably avoid questions better if they went out. And having some drinks sounded fantastic. But going out could lead to him being vulnerable to Bray.

_Like you would be safer in the hotel room. If he's coming for you, he's coming for you. Nothing's going to change that._

"I'm down." Jey's agreement seemed to seal the deal. Naomi was nodding along now as well. Now all eyes were on Dean. "You okay with that?"

Dean dug his bitten down nails into his shoulder before reluctantly nodding. He didn't feel like he could refuse. It was a stupid feeling. One that was surely not true. But it was there and it made him agree. "Yeah. I need a fucking drink anyway."

He was going to regret this. He fucking knew it.

* * *

Knowing Dean was on the road without Seth and Roman had been too much to resist. Bray couldn't just leave the situation alone. Two of the biggest obstacles in his way were incapacitated. He had to take advantage of that fact. So he had started off small. The flowers weren't his usual go to method of anything, but something new was needed. There had to be a more gentle side to him. Something for Dean to not be scared of. So he sent the flowers, amused by the fact that Dean was so oblivious as to who they were from. Bray had finally included a note to give him a clue. That had seemed to do the trick, which led to where they were now. Instead of going back to the hotel, the Usos and Naomi had saw fit to bring Dean to a night club. The place was dark, the blue and green strobe lights it had not doing an actual job of illuminating anything. Obnoxiously loud hip hop music blasted from the speakers. Bray had gotten himself up to the upper level, hovering near the VIP area so he could watch Dean and the others from the railing. They were up at the bar, pounding back drinks quicker than they should have. Dean was having more than anyone, each drink being followed by a quick look around. Even from his spot up there, Bray could feel his paranoia rolling off him in waves. He was waiting for the monster to come out from under his bed and get him. Bray thought about just going down there. To make his presence known right now and see what they would do about it. But he restrained himself. A fight wasn't what he really wanted.

He tapped his fingers against the railing in time with the song. Dean was pounding down drinks faster and faster. The other three were getting just as drunk, clearly oblivious to his presence. It surprised him that Dean hadn't said anything. It was a good surprise though. It made things easier. He watched as Naomi and Jimmy went to go dance, leaving Jey and Dean to drink on their own. Jey was chatting up some woman while Dean was completely ignoring the guy trying to talk to him. Bray felt his entire body stiffen as the guy didn't take the hint. It was some goofy looking asshole with spiked up hair and an overabundance of tattoos. He shoved a drink towards Dean, who downed it before turning away. Bray watched as the guy frown and order another one. With Dean still looking in the other direction, the man pulled something out of his jacket pocket and slip something into the drink. Bray couldn't see what it was, but he didn't need to lay eyes on it to know it was some sort of drug. "Don't do it little lamb," Bray muttered under his breath.

"Don't you do it. Don't do it."

Dean slid off the stool, leaving the man before the drink could be offered to him. The guy started to go after him, but stopped when Jey got to Dean first. They exchanged words, Jey seemingly trying to go with Dean but Dean just waving him off. Jey let him go. Foolish man. He did turn back to glare and say something to the other man, who had been about to go after Dean. But still, he was just so foolish. Bray watched Dean carefully, watching as he slipped out the front door. Bray smiled and went on the move. He had done enough watching for one night. It was time to say hello.

* * *

Dean took a deep breath as he stepped outside. He had tried to just relax while he drank. He really did. But the club had gotten entirely too hot, and he hadn't been able to do it. The music had been too loud, the guy bugging him at the bar had been too annoying, he had felt so awkward as the extra wheel to the Usos and Naomi...all of those had helped to feed the anxiety he had felt to begin with. Bray was somewhere close. Maybe even there. And he knew he should have told the others. Keeping it to himself was so stupid. But he was tired of people getting hurt because of him. He couldn't keep doing that. Maybe Seth and Roman were willing to put up with being targets for Bray, but that didn't mean anyone else would be. Being on the road without his boys meant he was alone. Completely and utterly alone.

He stumbled into the nearby alley. He had told Jey he was just going to the bathroom but that had been a bull faced lie. He needed the air instead. But now the booze was hitting him harder than he thought it would. It shouldn't have, considering the fact that he had been falling so fast and hard into his alcoholism. But it was. Maybe it was how fast he had been downing the shots. He hadn't spaced out the drinks very well. He groaned and leaned against the building next to him. His eyes slid shut and he tried to take a deep breath. His chest felt so tight. Too fucking tight. He tried to breathe again. It wasn't letting up. He bit down on his lower lip. His lungs felt like they were being crushed. He started feeling way too hot. It felt like he was cooking from the inside out. His head started feeling incredibly light. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. He sank down to his hands and knees. His right hand closed around an empty glass bottle. He squeezed it, trying to ground himself against the cold surface.

"Little lamb?"

Bray's voice snapped him out of it. Dean jumped to his feet and raised the hand holding the bottle. He swung it wildly, looking to hit Bray in the face. Bray dodged the swing easily. He grabbed Dean by the wrist and squeezed, twisting it until the bottle fell from his hand. It shattered against the ground, mixing with Dean's cry.

"Ssshhhhh!" Bray's grip on his wrist lessened just slightly. "Easy now little lamb." He wrapped an arm around Dean's waist to help hold him still. "I don't want to hurt you. I just want to talk to you."

Dean didn't believe him. There was no reason to believe him. He had to get away. Get away before Bray hurt him again. Get away before the tingling on his lips got worse. The after shocks of their last kiss still hadn't left him completely. If they stayed like this, he didn't know what would happen. There had been a spark before. A spark that he knew better than to indulge. But KNOWING he shouldn't do it wasn't the same as NOT doing it. Being trapped between Bray's body and the building behind him was making him weak. The booze in his system was making him weak. No Seth or Roman made him weak. He was weak. So weak.

"Did you like your flowers?" Bray's voice was soft. Gentle. He was actually fucking curious. "Roses are a classic. Or maybe just cliché." He let go of Dean's wrist and ran his finger across Dean's jaw. "Should I have done chocolates? They're a bit more useful than flowers now that I think about it."

"Why are you doing this?" Dean tried to push himself out of Bray's grip. "What's the point? What the fuck are you doing?"

"Isn't this what you want? You've been on this quest for normality. Isn't this the stuff those other two would do for you?"

Roman and Seth actually didn't do flowers, but Dean wasn't announcing that fact. That wasn't really the point. "I can't do this." He swallowed hard and shook his head. "We can't do this."

"Why not?"

"I don't want to."

"Then why did you come out here?" Bray held him close despite his continued attempts to get away. "You knew I was around. You knew I'd come for you the moment there was an opportunity." He tilted his head to the side and studied Dean carefully. "Why did you present it to me on a silver platter?"

"I didn't..."

"Don't lie to me darlin." Bray's eyes narrowed. "You wanted to draw me out."

"No."

"No?"

Dean shook his head.

"So you haven't been thinking of me since we last met? You haven't thought of that little kiss?"

The bastard. The fucking bastard. Dean's cheeks immediately went red and that was it. He was done. Bray knew he had been doing just that. And maybe Bray hadn't been wrong just now. Maybe there was a part of him that had wanted to actually draw Bray out. _To just know where he is. I don't like having to constantly watch my back. And it's better to get this over with. That's it. No other reason. No other reason in the world._

"I noticed how easy it was for you to get away from your babysitters." Bray unwrapped his arm from Dean's waist but still lingered entirely too close for comfort. "I don't think your boys will be too happy if they found that out." He made a small noise that almost sounded like a chuckle, "Though they did leave you here all alone. They're not doing too good with the watching over you thing either."

"And who's fault is that?" Dean clenched his fists to his sides. "You shot Roman! He can't even walk right because of you!" He tried not to let his voice waver but he didn't quite manage it. "And you stabbed Seth and gave him a fucking concussion. It's fucking your fault!"

"So what are you going to do about it little lamb?" This was rapidly spinning out of control. They could both feel it. Their original intentions for entering this alley didn't matter. It never had. "Are you going to shoot me again?" Bray's voice was starting to rise. "You know what?" He bent down and picked up one of the shards of glass. "Do it." He placed the glass in Dean's hand. "End my misery."

Dean just stared at him.

"Come on!" Bray stretched his arms out. "You know you want to. Just do it. Put me out of my misery. Make me pay for every dirty little thing I've ever done to you. Make sure I burn."

Dean held the glass in his hand. He didn't know what to do. Was it a trick? It had to be a trick. But what if it wasn't? What if this was a genuine offer. He gripped the glass more tightly. He was slicing his hand up all to hell but he didn't care. He could do it right now. End it all right now. It would be deserved. He could say Bray attacked him again. Justify it so easily. It was doubtful anyone would question him. But even with his brain screaming at him to do it, his body didn't move. It refused to do a thing. Instead he just stood there, staring at Bray. Their eyes were locked, neither one of them moving. They weren't even making a sound. The tension was mounting. They had to run. Run away. If he couldn't drive the glass into Bray's heart and end this then he needed to run.

The tension made Bray break first. He let Dean's hands be free in case he wanted to still stab him, instead just grabbing him by the head and kissing him hard. And there it was. A kiss had gotten him in trouble to begin with. It had led him down this terrible path, yet here he was again. Powerless. Weak. All the promises he had made to himself about this matter thrown out the window because of what? Because he was drunk? Or because maybe, just maybe, he couldn't find this utterly primal connection they had. Maybe they were destined to burn and perish together. His mind objected to that, but for the moment, he was too far gone to stop now. His lips were moving against Bray's returning the kiss. That spark. That fucking spark. This had been everything he had feared. But he couldn't stop it. He fell so easily back into his vices. Drinking again, alienating everyone around him, doing...well THIS-he was sick. He was the one who needed to be put down, even just for his own good. The glass was in his hands. He could slice his own wrist open. Bleeding out in a dirty alley wasn't really a dignified way to go, but it would do the trick.

Bray knocked the glass out of his hand before he could do it. He whimpered and smacked his bloody palm against Bray's face. He still couldn't make it stop. This was bad. So bad. He couldn't do this. Nothing was going to change. Bray Wyatt wasn't a man who changed. But he had lost control of himself. The booze, the spark, the absolute intense feeling of loneliness, the months of coming to the realization that maybe he just wasn't meant to be fixed-it was all crashing down on him. Tears burned his eyes. He tried to block them, but they slipped down his face anyway. He was a mess. A stupid, drunken, sobbing mess. His sobs were swallowed down by Bray, who moved his hands all over his body.

"I love you." Bray barely took his lips off of Dean to say it. "I love you so very much little lamb."

Dean just whimpered.

"I don't want to play games." Bray's hands were all over him, setting his body on fire. His touch was poison but fuck if it didn't feel good at the moment. "I just want you. I want you more than anything in the world."

Dean didn't know whether to believe that one or not. Bray sounded like he was telling the truth. He really did. But playing games was what Bray did. It always had been. He seemingly did not know any other way to operate. Fuck. He couldn't think right now. His hands tugged on Bray's pants. He didn't know what he was doing. Not really. Not anymore. He was just reacting. Bray's kiss and touch was burning through him like fire. He could feel Bray's arousal pushing against him. He pressed himself against it, the shame in doing so not enough to stop right now.

"I need you." The admission from Bray was not helping Dean's fucked up brain. "I need you little lamb. Only you." Bray's lips traveled across Dean's face. "Can I have you?"

No. That was the word Dean tried to say. That was the word the logical part of his brain begged for him to say. But that wasn't what left his mouth.

"Make it hurt."

The words surprised Bray. Dean couldn't keep looking at him though. He didn't want to hurt. Not really. But maybe he needed to. If he was so stupid to invite the devil in his backyard (as Bray liked to say) then he deserved it.

Bray's lips captured his again. His jeans and boxers were ripped away, leaving only his t-shirt and leather jacket on to cover himself. Bray's pants were open, Dean's hand reaching in to pull out his length and stroke it. Neither could really breathe between the kisses. Bray lifted him up and pressed his back against the wall. Dean wrapped his legs around Bray's waist, closing his eyes and tensing up as he felt Bray pressed against him.

"You really want this to hurt little lamb?"

Dean found himself nodding. Of course he did. He was stupid and well that was it really. So stupid.

Bray pushed in, swallowing down Dean's screams. Dean clung to him for dear life, his blood staining the Hawaiian shirt. His world was spinning. His lungs burned but he didn't break his mouth away from Bray's. He just whimpered as he felt Bray start to move in him. Hard and fast, ripping and tearing him apart both inside and out like he had asked. And why had he asked? Because this was what he knew. Because being drunk and utterly alone and mentally on the edge, he couldn't pretend that truly felt like he deserved more than the treatment he had long grown accustomed to. He had been trying to learn better. He wanted to learn better. But it was so hard. It was just so hard and this felt easier. It was easier to let himself be fucked like a two dollar whore in the alley. It was easier to be weak. To be the lamb consumed by the wolf, who was muttering things in his ear. Declarations of love and devotion and talk of how much he needed him. Dean didn't know what to do with that. All he was used to was being told he needed Bray. Yet now the tables had turned. Maybe it was a new trick. A whole new trick or maybe it was true. Maybe Bray did need him, though only god knew why.

The brick of the building rubbed harshly against his shirt and jacket. He squeezed his legs more tightly around Bray, his fingers digging into his shirt. He pulled his mouth away and threw his head back, barely holding back a wild moan. It hurt and it burned, but underneath it the pleasure started to rise. Bray thrust into him faster, one hand moving around Dean's shaft to stroke it roughly. They weren't going to last long. Not after this long apart. Bray thrust in harder and faster, his hand stroking Dean to match his movements. Dean whimpered and closed his eyes, his release roaring through him so intensely he didn't realize he screamed. He felt Bray follow him, his name passing through his lips. His hips pumped until they were both spent, but even after they were done, he didn't bother to pull out. He just stood there, his face buried in Dean's neck and arms locked around him. Dean shuddered, the reality of what he just let happen hit him.

_Stupid. Such a stupid little lamb._

He shuddered and pressed his mouth to Bray's shoulder to muffle his scream.


	12. Chapter 12

Bray didn't ever want to move. They were still in the alley, Bray holding Dean up against the wall, their bodies still joined together. Dean's mouth was pressed to his shoulder to silence his screams and sobs. His falling apart was breaking the serenity Bray was trying to bask in, but it didn't really upset him. All that loneliness and darkness that rested inside him, combined with the alcohol in his system, made the situation ripe for a breakdown. "Ssshhhh..." Bray pressed soft kisses along the side of his face. "It's alright little lamb. Just calm down."

The screams subsided, but that was as far as the calming down thing went. He still sobbed and now trembled, halfway trying to push Bray away but still clinging to him all the same. He really was a mess. "Just breathe little lamb." He ran his fingers up and down Dean's sides while he looked around to see where he had thrown Dean's jeans and underwear. The jeans were not even a half a foot away, seemingly clean besides a little bit of dirt. His boxers however had flown further, landing in a pile of water and garbage. Definitely not worth salvaging in his opinion.

"It'll be useless to ask you to stay, won't it?"

The question made Dean stiffen. Yeah, it was a useless thing to ask. He didn't know why he even did it. Dean's response stung more than he was going to admit. All he wanted was Dean. Everything else had ceased to matter. His career, his family, the purpose Abigail had given to him, Abigail herself-all of it had fallen away in favor of his feelings for Dean. This love, this obsession-it had consumed him. This wasn't something that either of them could break from. He had tried (admittedly not too terribly hard). Dean had tried really hard and here he was, back in his arms. Their fates were intertwined whether it was liked or not.

"Are you going to tell?"

Dean's question made Bray raise his eyebrows. "Tell?" Bray moved Dean's head back so they were making eye contact. "You think I'm going to tell?"

"You like to gloat." Dean's voice wavered as he tried to take deep breaths.

Okay yeah. Bray did like to do that. There was no denying that one. "I can keep it our little secret." He brought a hand up and lightly ran a finger down the bridge of Dean's nose. "You might want to work on your poker face though. Your boys are going to see right through you otherwise."

Dean completely wilted at the mention of Seth and Roman. Those damn boys who had been working so hard to keep Dean away from him. Who had spent the past several months trying to fix him. All their efforts had just been tossed away without much trouble at all. Dean hung his head in shame. He was never going to willingly tell them. The fear of rejection was going to be even worse than it had been before. It had been one thing when Roman and Seth just hadn't known about their relationship before. But after everything that had happened, there was no way this would go over well at all. Maybe Bray's former prediction of them turning their backs on him for it would perhaps come to pass. The thought of that made it all so tempting to spill the beans. But he couldn't do that. That wasn't going to get him to where he could keep Dean. So he nodded, trying to be reassuring even if he wasn't going to be believed.

Dean's phone went off, startling them both. "Damn it." Bray reluctantly set Dean on his own feet and pulled away so he could grab Dean's jeans. He pulled the phone out of his pocket and saw Naomi's name on the screen. She and the Usos were finally trying to track him down. "Damn it, damn it, damn it." Bray put the phone back in Dean's pocket and handed him his jeans. There was no way Dean was going to answer the call. He was in no condition to act like everything was okay quite yet. "They want you back little lamb."

Dean swallowed nervously and took his jeans back. He slipped them on as quickly as he could, nearly toppling over until Bray grabbed his arm to steady him. He jerked at the contact but Bray didn't let him pull away. He pulled him back in, an arm wrapping around his waist and his hand resting against the small of his back. Dean stared at him with wide eyes.

"I wasn't...I didn't mean..."

"Well you did." Bray didn't say it with the intention to be mean. But it had happened. Not telling Seth or Roman was one thing. But there was no way in hell he was going to just forget or let Dean deny what just happened. "I didn't force you."

Dean looked away. His face flushed in shame. That would be the part that would haunt him. It hadn't taken a whole lot for Bray to get back in. Despite everything that had happened, despite having Seth and Roman's seemingly unwavering support, despite his own vows, he had broken so easily. What he clearly hadn't wanted to admit was that his will was cracked already. He couldn't be the "fixed" creature he wanted to be. No matter what he did, no matter how much his shrink counseled him or how much Seth and Roman coddled him, there was no way to truly achieve it. Like him, Dean had been born into darkness. He had been raised by it. It had molded into him. The light they could stand in wasn't the kind that Seth or Roman or others like them could get to. Their light was from the fire that could burn their enemies and consume them too if they let it. He wanted to say these things. To make Dean understand it. But there wasn't the time to make Dean understand now. The phone was going off again. He could hear one of the Usos yelling in the distance. They had come outside to look for Dean. He had time for so little, so instead of those words he kissed him, trying to pour all those thoughts into the smaller man with just the kiss. Dean whimpered but didn't pull away from the kiss. He let Bray be the one to break it, which made him smile and brush the tip of his nose with his gently.

"I'll be seeing you." Bray reluctantly broke away from the embrace once again and tipped his hat at him before disappearing into the night.

* * *

Dean didn't know how he made it as far as he did before he broke down again.

The walk out of the alley had been one of pure fear and shame. The only saving grace he had was the fact that Jimmy, Jey and Naomi were all so drunk that any perceptive abilities of theirs were greatly diminished. They had asked him why he was outside, and he had managed to mumble some excuse about being too hot and feeling sick. Jimmy had joked about having a heart attack and saying that Roman would have killed them if anything had happened to him. He had hung his head the whole way to the hotel, not wanting to look at any of them. Jey had thought that meant he still was sick and kept trying to help by hovering and shoving an empty Burger King bag in his face for him to throw up in. When they got to the hotel he got the small relief of his trio of babysitters passing out quickly. They all had gathered in one bed, Naomi not wanting Dean to feel uncomfortable by having to share a bed with Jey. He should have told her it didn't matter. He couldn't sleep even if he wanted to. Instead he locked himself in the bathroom, stripping himself of his clothes and getting into the shower. He made the water hotter than even he could stand it. He wanted it to burn him. And burn him it did. The room quickly filled with steam, his skin protesting to the extreme heat raining down on him. That was when he broke. Sobs and screams tore out of him just like they had in the alley. He slapped both hands over his mouth to try to muffle the noise. It seemed to work because nobody came to check on him. Or they were too drunk to wake back up. Whatever. Either was fine. He couldn't afford to have them hear him. As lonely as he felt, and as much as he wanted someone's arms around him to tell him it would be okay, he couldn't afford to have someone drag what had happened out of him. They couldn't know how weak he was. It was bad enough that he was already that way. Having everyone find out would be too much.

The bar of soap was down low enough for him to reach without getting up. He grabbed it and started scrubbing his body furiously. He could barely breathe between the steam and his sobs. His body ached, a glaring reminder of what he just had done. He had let Bray in again. Drunk or not, he should have known better. He knew exactly what Bray was. The wolf. The devil. The man that was his complete and utter undoing. He had cheated on Seth and Roman with the man that had Seth's family kidnapped and had until further notice, ended Roman's career. They were going to hate him now. It was one thing to go back to Bray after that second match with the Wyatts. He had done it to protect Seth's family, which was the same reason Seth had played out the betrayal Bray had blackmailed him into. But this was different. Bray hadn't come in with a piece of blackmail. He hadn't raped him. He had fucking ASKED if he could have him. And Dean had said yes. He had surrendered himself, spreading his legs so fast that even his own mother would have been ashamed of him. Seth and Roman were going to hate him. They really would this time. This didn't feel like a paranoid thought. Bray didn't have to try to drill it into his head. He just felt in his heart that they would really hate him. Why wouldn't they? He hated himself for it. He was weak. He was pathetic. He deserved to have Bray destroy him from the inside out because someone worth anything would have had the sense to not fucking do this shit.

The soap slipped out of his hand. He didn't even try to pick it up. He just sat there, now scratching at his arms. He didn't know what he was going to do. Bray wasn't going to go away. He was there to stay until he died. Dean could have made that happen. Bray had offered him the out. He had blatantly offered it but Dean hadn't been able to take it. He had failed in doing it when they had been under attack, and now he hadn't even been able to try. And why hadn't he been able to do it? What had stopped him? Fear that Bray hadn't meant it? That Bray would have attacked him? Or something else? Something like...like...

Love?

No. No way.

Love.

No. No no no. A thousand times no. There was no way he could love Bray. Maybe he loved the way Bray treated him. It was what he thought he deserved. But that didn't mean he loved the guy. He couldn't have any sort of feelings for him. Not positive ones at least.

_So why couldn't you kill him then?_

Dean grabbed his hair with both hands and nearly yanked chunks of it out. He didn't want to examine any of the reasons. They loomed ominously in front of him, making his stomach twist and turn uncomfortably. He tried to just push them away. But it was easier to want it than it was to do it. He could feel Bray creeping in, sinking into his brain and getting under his skin. It was an itch that would lie in wait to be scratched until Bray came around again. Giving in once opened the door for him to do it again. Even if he swore off drinking and stayed sober, the damage had been done. Bray would think he had a chance. And now that he fucked him yet again, Bray had power over him. He didn't really believe for a second that Bray wouldn't use it to his advantage. Maybe he didn't do it right away, but Dean had to believe it was coming. And he didn't know what he was going to do once it did. He couldn't just tell Roman and Seth what he did. He needed to but the mere thought of admitting it nearly sent him into a fresh, full blown panic attack.

But if he didn't give in, Bray would surely tell them anyway and he would be fucked.

But if gave in to keep Bray silent, it would only increase the power he had over him and he would have to do more to keep him quiet.

No matter how he sliced it, he was just fucked.

"Dean? What the hell are you doing?"

Dean nearly jumped right out of the tub. Jey had cracked open the door to check on him. Either the shower itself or Dean himself had accidentally woken him up. "I'm fine." Dean's voice was hoarse and unfamiliar even to his own ears. "I'm fine just go away."

Jey just eyed him suspiciously. What sleep he had gotten seemed to have sobered him up somewhat. "You're burning your damn skin off." He walked to the shower and shut the water off, hissing as the liquid hit his skin. "God damn dude." He grabbed the nearest towel and held it out for Dean. "Come on. I don't know what you're doing, but you ain't doing it in here."

"Fuck off. I'm fine."

Jey just gave him a look. Dean huffed loudly and wrapped the towel around his waist. He didn't bother to really dry off. He just shook his head to get some of the water out of his hair and stepped out of the shower. His attempting to act like nothing was wrong wasn't really working. He could still feel Jey's eyes on him, the unasked questions hanging heavily in the air. He tried to escape before they were asked. He left the bathroom and put on some clean clothes to sleep in. He used to just sleep in his boxers (if anything) but now he refused. He didn't like waking up first thing in the morning and seeing all the scars Bray put on him.

"Did something happen at the club?" Jey finally just asked. "I mean, I know you said you didn't feel good but..." His voice trailed off and Dean glanced back to see that he was fidgeting around awkwardly. "You don't seem okay man."

"I'm fine." The lie was horrifically unbelievable to his own ears. He tried to hope that it was his guilt that made it sound bad and that he was the only one who could tell. Jey's face showed him that wasn't the case.

"Dude...Bray wasn't like...at the club was he?"

Damn it. Damn it damn it damn it. Dean wilted and looked down at his legs. He couldn't even try to lie now. He wanted to. He really did still want to. But it felt useless. His knee jerk reaction gave him away. Jey's eyes widened, and Dean immediately looked away. Fucking damn it.

"Did he attack you? Why didn't you say anything? Jesus Dean-"

"Sssshhh!" Dean cast a fearful look to the sleeping Naomi and Jimmy. They were still completely passed out thankfully. "I'm fine. Drop it."

Jey wasn't about to listen. "But what happened? Did he drag you outside? Did he try to kidnap you and you got away? You have to talk to me man. We promised Ro we would protect you. If we failed already then we need to do better."

Dean shook his head. He didn't want to lie but he didn't want to tell the truth. What the fuck was he supposed to do? "I-what are you doing?" He felt his stomach turn cold when Jey grabbed his phone.

"Calling Roman and Seth."

"No no no no!" Dean lunged forward and tried to rip the phone out of Jey's hand. "Don't do that. You can't do that! Please don't do that!"

Jey looked completely flabbergasted by Dean's reaction. "They told me to call if he did anything."

"He didn't. He didn't okay? Just don't call them. Please fucking please..." He was falling apart again. Dean could feel himself slipping and spiraling down once again. "Don't make them hate me. Please don't make them please..."

Jey looked completely startled by the plea. He put the phone down though, which was at least something. Dean let out a shaky sigh of relief and sank down on to the empty bed. The silence between them was growing increasingly awkward.

Jey was staring at him, searching for answers. Dean kept his head down, trying his best not to give any more away. It hit him how much his own wording gave him away. Don't make them hate him? Why would they hate him if he was the one attacked? Fucking stupid. Could he really do nothing right? He stole a look at Jey, praying to all the gods he didn't believe in that he would be spared from any more questions. Jey kept staring at him, Dean's slip of the tongue not lost on him at all. The awkwardness of the silence grew as Jey's internal debate raged on.

"We need to get some sleep." Jey finally settled for letting the subject go. He wasn't fooled for an instant, but they were both clearly running down the path of pretending he was. "You going to be okay over there?"

_No._ "Yeah."

Jey let it go at that, settling back in bed with Naomi and Jimmy. Dean rolled over to the other side of his bed, pulling the covers over his head and curling up into a ball. He closed his eyes and tried to just go to sleep. The moment his eyes went shut he found himself back in the alley. His back was pressed against that wall with Bray all over him, not making a single move to stop him.

_"Can I have you?"_

_"Make it hurt."_

Dean's eyes snapped back open.

This was going to be a long night.


	13. Chapter 13

"You know we should talk to Roman about this."

Jey didn't need Naomi to remind him of that yet again. They were at the arena getting ready for the Smackdown taping. He and Jimmy had to face the Ascension while Naomi was wrestling Nikki Bella. The most troubling bit of news though, was Dean's announced match for the live Main Event against Rusev. The Bulgarian Brute had been on an absolute rampage, destroying everyone in his path. Jack Swagger, Dolph Ziggler, Big Show, Mark Henry, Sheamus-everyone that got in his way was put down violently. And they had all been at the top of their game, which was something Dean definitely was not. He had been getting by so far, but that was honestly because he had either been competing in six man tags, or facing people who felt sorry for him based on what he had been through and had gone easier on him because of it. Rusev was not about to do that. And add in the fact that he was in worse shape because of whatever had happened in that club, and they were in a really dangerous situation. Jey wanted to get Dean pulled from the match completely. Jimmy thought they needed to make Dean straighten up and deal with everything that was going on. And Naomi was still on the calling Roman train so he and Seth could help them deal with it.

"Is anyone going to listen to me?" Naomi was losing her patience. She had her hands on her hips, her brown eyes narrowed at Jimmy and Jey. Dean sitting across the room with AJ, Big E, Renee, Brie and Dolph. He was keeping to himself, despite Brie and Renee's efforts to draw him out of his shell.

"He begged me not to call them," Jey reminded her. "You really think we should betray his trust right now?"

"We can't keep this kind of stuff from Roman and Seth!" she argued right back. "If Bray's trying to get at him then we have to tell them."

It wasn't that she was wrong. Jey knew damn well that she was completely right. But she hadn't seen Dean the way he had. Drunk and pleading for him to keep the secret, terrified that Roman and Seth would reject him if they found out the truth. Something about the situation wasn't adding up. Roman and Seth knew what Bray had done to Dean. They knew it wasn't Dean's fault. So why had he been so convinced that they would hate him?

"I'm gonna say something and I need you two to hear me out," Jimmy announced. He glanced around to make sure nobody else was coming too close to listen in. "What if Bray didn't attack him?"

Naomi frowned. "What do you mean?"

"What if whatever happened was something he let happen?"

Jey's eyes widened. His first instinct was to say no. There was no way that could be the case. But before the words left him, the way Dean had acted last night crossed his mind once again. He had been in such a panic about the situation. The reaction gave Jimmy's statement a lot more weight.

"Babe come on." Naomi was the one to try to argue. "Why would he do that? He don't have any reason to let Bray do shit to him."

"I know he don't. But that don't mean shit." Jimmy gave the unsuspecting Dean a look and a shake of the head. "Look, I know we all care about the guy. But that don't mean we can just forget that he's got some poor decision making skills. We were all drunk as shit last night. Roman says he hasn't been doing too well...I mean come on. Add in how he was acting with Jey and it all fits. It's the only thing that makes sense."

Naomi's face fell. She didn't want to believe him. But like Jey before her, she was realizing that his logic was a little too sound. "Oh god..." She rubbed her hands over her face and took a deep breath. "We still have to tell Roman and Seth. we can't let them sit in the dark." She cast a nervous glance around. "Bray could be planning to keep working on him. If he got him to give in once, he could do it again if Dean stays weak for him. They got to make him strong again."

Jimmy shook his head. "How much can they really do? I mean, they can do all they want, but sooner or later, it's got to be up to him to actually stay away from Bray. He's got to stop being self-destructive."

"You say that like it's easy." Jey knew Jimmy had a good point, but he was looking at it from a pure outsider's perspective. He wasn't Dean. He couldn't understand what Dean was going through. None of them could. "There's no way this is easy for him."

"I never said it was. But come on bro. We can only help him if he truly actually wants it. And I'm not sure if he actually does or just wants to think he does."

"Jesus," Naomi muttered and pinched the bridge of her nose. "What the hell are we actually supposed to do?"

"Maybe we should talk to him ourselves," Jey suggested. "He's too scared to face it with Roman and Seth. Maybe we should step up and do more than just babysit."

Jimmy didn't exactly look convinced on the matter. A look from Naomi kept him silent though. Jey took that victory and went over to Dean, trying to figure out the best way to actually go about talking to him. Obviously it couldn't be that very second. Maybe he shouldn't even do it at all before the show. Dean needed to get his head in the game enough to survive Rusev. But afterwards he could. He could maybe get Dean alone somewhere and try to talk to him. He had no idea what he was going to say, but he had to try something. Roman and Seth were going to lose him completely if more wasn't done.

"We are NOT watching a movie about Abe Lincoln killing vampires!" AJ declared as Jey sat down between Dean and Dolph. The divas champion was sitting on Big E's lap, cradling her title with one hand while playing with the hand of her former bodyguard with the other. Despite having gone their ways a long time ago, there was still some affection between the two. "I don't care what you people say. That is just not happening."

"But it's awesome!" Dolph argued. He looked to Brie for support. "Back me up here."

"It's totally awesome," she agreed. "Dean has to watch it."

Dean shook his head. "I don't like scary shit."

Big E smirked. "It's freaking Abe Lincoln killing vampires. There's no way it's scary. Just stupid."

"Stupid can be good." Jey decided to throw his two cents in. "I need a break from all the serious. Freaking Jimmy has me watching Game of Thrones lately. I can't handle more of that shit."

Dean didn't exactly look convinced. He wasn't offering a fight though. He just looked down at his hands, which were incessantly wringing together. Jey frowned. He almost grabbed them to make him stop. He restrained himself though, not wanting to freak Dean out with the sudden movement.

"You want us to come out with you later?" Jey decided to settle on asking that. "Or at least send Naomi out so she can like, punch Lana or something?"

Dean shook his head.

"You sure?"

"I got it." Dean didn't even sound like he believed his own words. But he was a far, far too stubborn man to admit he wasn't actually ready for a match. "I"m not fucking scared of Rusev."

That much was true at least. "Just be careful out there, alright?"

"I make no promises."

* * *

If there was one thing WWE was horrible at, it was actually having a security system in place that was worth a damn. Not only had Bray had gotten into the building, but Harper and Rowan had as well. The two of them had left the compound to hunt him down, knowing full well where he was going to be. They wanted to bring him home. He knew that without them having to say it. He saw it in their eyes. But he wasn't about to go anywhere. Not this moment anyway. He wanted to see the show. He wanted to stay near Dean until it was time for him to go back to Seth and Roman. Then he would go back home. He would be the leader they needed him to be until it was time to hit the road again.

"Kettle corn?" He held up the bag he managed to steal from the concession stands. They were in the shadows by the crowd, standing where they had a perfect view of the ring. He hadn't been paying too much attention to the show. He was really just waiting for Dean's match.

Luke just stared at him. Erick though, moved his lamb mask up and grabbed an entire handful of the kettle corn for himself. Bray smirked as he ate it and tried to offer some to Luke again.

"No."

"Just eat a little."

Luke scowled and waved him away.

"Suit yourself." Bray put a handful into his mouth and returned his eyes toward the ring. He was in too good of a mood to let Luke's grouchy nature affect him. Not after what happened last night. Last night had been perfect. Despite everyone trying to get in his way, Dean had let him in once again. Sure he had been drunk, but Bray was willing to take it. It was a good starting point at least.

"Are we just here to watch the match, or do we have to follow him around the rest of the night?"

Bray raised his eyebrows at Luke's question. "Nobody said you had to be here."

"We need you at home."

"Is anyone in trouble there?"

"They miss you. Dean doesn't. He wants nothing to do with you."

"He wasn't singing that tune last night." The words slipped out of Bray's mouth before he really thought about what he was saying. He couldn't help it though. The way Harper had said that last part had dug under his skin. He wanted to just shut him up on the matter. "I'm not abandoning any of you. Being on the road to watch over him will be no different than being on the road to wrestle."

Luke didn't look really convinced on that one. There wasn't time to keep arguing the matter though. Dean's music hit, which made Bray perk up. This was what he had been waiting for. He whipped his head around in every direction, a smile crossing his face as he saw Dean coming down the stairs not even ten feet away from him. He still wore his Shield gear, despite being the only one of them keeping the group alive. His expression was set in a determined scowl, his hands clenched tightly into fists. Halfway down the stairs he stopped and looked around. Even though he couldn't be seen, Bray knew he had just been sensed. He could see it in those blue eyes.

"Your boy is facing Rusev." Luke's voice redirected Bray's attention back to him. "Rusev's impressive. Hasn't lost yet. I think your boy is in serious trouble."

"You'd love that wouldn't you?" Bray glared at Luke. The gaze cowed the other man just a little, though not as much as he would have liked.

Harper's lips twitched into a start of a smile. Bray's eyes narrowed and they stared at each other, unaware that Rusev was coming out until Rowan urgently slapped his hands against their chests.

"What?" Luke asked sharply. "What is it?"

Rowan raised the sheep mask and pointed to Lana. "Pretty girl."

Luke just stared at him incredulously. Rowan shrugged and lowered his mask back down. Bray took a moment to consider Rowan's observation before laughing and squeezing the back of his neck affectionately. "Yes she is Erick. Yes she is."

* * *

"Come on Dean. You got this. You fucking got this."

Roman stayed silent as Seth continued his muttered mantra. They were in their living room, eyes fixated on the TV. The bell had just rang to start the match. Dean and Rusev were circling each other, neither quite going for the lock up just yet. Roman was laying back on the couch with his arms wrapped around himself. Seth was leaning forward in the chair, ready to jump to his feet at a moment's notice. The tension in the room was nearly unbearable. Both of them had tried to call Dean so they could talk strategy with him. Even if they were far away, they didn't want him to feel like he had been abandoned. But he hadn't answered their calls, and now they could both tell that he had no real plan for this match. It wasn't a fact that surprised Roman. Dean was never one that liked to make plans for his matches. He liked to just go in there and do everything in the moment. He was more comfortable with kicking and scratching and clawing his way to victory.

"Use your speed Dean. Just use your speed." Seth was talking like Dean could somehow hear him. "You're faster than him. Don't let him catch you."

Roman let out a groan as Dean immediately just rushed Rusev. The fists flew wildly, which did throw the brute off guard. It wasn't an advantage that lasted long. Rusev shoved him off and nearly took his head off with a clothesline. "Damn it," he muttered. He winced as Rusev literally threw Dean into the corner and started rapidly driving his shoulder into Dean's stomach. Dean was a better wrestler than Rusev. He firmly believed that. But Rusev was stronger and ruthless, which was taking him far.

"He's fucking quicker than him!" Seth was nearly tugging his own hair out in frustration. "Why won't he use that?"

"He-oh there we go!" Rusev had backed off and tried to rush back in drive his shoulder into Dean's stomach yet again. Dean moved out of the way just in time, resulting in Rusev flying into the steel post shoulder first. "Get him Dean!" Roman knew this was dumb. Dean had no way of hearing him. But Roman couldn't help but cheer along with Seth anyway.

"That's it! Come on!" Seth clapped his hands in satisfaction. "Come on Dean!"

Dean pulled Rusev back and ran his shoulder into the post again. Lana was yelling and cursing at Dean, making Dean take just a moment to flip her off. There was a lecture from Vince right there. Dean pulled Rusev back out of the corner and rolled him up. Rusev kicked out. Dean growled and stayed on the offensive side of things. There was something off in his movements. It wasn't something the fans or even the announcers could pick up on. Only Seth and Roman could because they knew him so well. They knew that look in his eyes. Something was on his mind. It was distracting him, which was going to cost him if he didn't shake it off soon.

The fight went outside the ring things thanks to a clothesline over the top rope and a suicide dive. Roman chewed on his lower lip as he and Seth kept watching. Rusev's shoulder was hurting him, which helped Dean until he made the mistake of starting to take apart the announcer's table. He thought he had Rusev down by the barricade. Seth and Roman did too. But when Dean went towards him, they found out how wrong they were. Rusev popped up to his feet and blindly hit a desperate superkick. His foot connected with Dean's throat and Dean crashed to the ground in a heap.

"SHIT!" Seth's eyes nearly bugged out of his head as Dean writhed and held his hands over his throat. "Shit shit shit!"

That summed the situation up perfectly. Dean could be heard gasping for breath. The referee was trying to check on him, but Rusev wasn't having it. He shoved the ref away and went back on the attack. He wrapped both of his hands around Dean's neck and started slamming the back of his head into the floor. Roman felt himself start to shake in anger. He wanted to reach through the screen and yank Rusev off of Dean by the hair. He wanted to shove his fist so far down his throat that he shit out his own teeth. He wanted to kill Rusev, but all he could do was sit there. Powerless. Useless. Fucking begging for someone to save Dean. He didn't care who it was. Someone had to get in there and stop this.

* * *

"Don't you dare! BRAY!"

Luke's words meant little to Bray as he moved. He had felt the kick to his throat like it had been his own. The continued assault had him seeing red. He moved from the shadows, barely hearing the roar of the crowd as they realized he was coming. More referees were trying to pull Rusev off, all of them failing in spectacular fashion. He didn't see Bray coming over the barricade. Lana screamed a warning, but by the time he looked up, it was too late. Bray crashed into him, taking him right down. His fists flew furiously now. Both the crowd and the announcers roared in confusion. He could feel Dean's eyes on him, but he didn't stop his attack to look back at him. Dean was his. His to love, his to hurt, his to protect, his to destroy...Rusev didn't get to do what he was doing. He didn't have the right.

Hands grabbed at him, trying to pull him away. He snarled and attacked the security guards they belonged to. Dean was still on the floor, struggling to breathe. The Usos, Naomi and Stephanie McMahon were running down the ramp, clearly looking to get Dean away from him. Harper and Rowan were coming over the barricade, though their purpose was a little less clear. Would loyalty to him win out and they would help him despite how they felt about Dean? Or were they there to help take him away from Dean? He didn't want to find out.

"Bray!" Stephanie's screech was far reaching indeed. "Get away from him!"

Bray wasn't about to listen. He scooped Dean up in his arms, snarling and spitting at the security guards who dared to come too close. He caught a look of disbelief and possible disgust on Harper's face, but there was no time to dwell on it. The Usos were coming, the meddlesome duo running straight into a clothesline from Erick. Bray wasn't sure if the move was done because Rowan was actually trying to help him, or if he just couldn't resist the instinct to knock the Usos on their ass. Either way, he was grateful. Shrugging off security and ignoring Stephanie's and Naomi's shouting, he kissed Dean on the side of the head and took back off through the crowd. "It's alright little lamb." He kissed Dean again, this time on the cheek. He didn't care who saw. In his mind, even with the fact that he was running so nobody could catch him, the world around them didn't exist anymore. "I got you."

Dean just dropped his head against Bray's shoulder. He was only half conscious and still struggling to really breathe. Bray tightened his grip on him and kept moving. He wasn't entirely sure where he was going, but he would figure it out. He always did.


	14. Chapter 14

"What the fuck do you mean you don't know where they are?" Seth's voice rose an entire octave as the question flew out of his mouth. He and Roman had watched in horror as Bray fucking Wyatt of all people had saved Dean from Rusev. And to top it all off Bray had not only run off with Dean, but apparently nobody had been able to stop him before he got out of the building. That bit of information absolutely infuriated Seth. They had promised to keep Dean safe. They had fucking promised but had they been able to keep their word? No. Fucking Bray had him yet again. Seth was absolutely furious. He wanted to scream and punch something but he couldn't. He had to keep it together. Roman was already punching anything he could get to, which was not actually helping their situation.

"We tried to fucking get out there." They were on speaker phone with Jimmy and Jey. Jimmy was the one currently talking. "Rowan-"

"I saw what Rowan did," Seth snapped. He had seen the double clothesline that had taken the Usos down. He had watched as Harper and Rowan had to fight their way past everyone to make their own escape. Seth had no idea if they had gotten caught once the cameras went off. He didn't care. Bray was what he cared about. He needed them to track down Dean so he could kill him. "Where the fuck is Stephanie? She fucking promised us she'd have extra security. She swore to us he wouldn't get in the building!"

"She-"

"Her promises are bullshit!" Seth cut Jey off before he could finish. "She doesn't get it! None of you get it! You don't get what it takes to stop Bray Wyatt."

"And you guys do?" Jimmy's voice was sharp. He wasn't appreciating Seth yelling at him. "You think you really do?"

"What the fuck does that mean?" Roman managed to get himself back to the chair and plopped down right next to Seth.

"It doesn't mean anything," Jey said quickly. "We're going to find Dean okay? We'll bring him home in one piece."

Seth wanted to believe that promise. He really did. But Jimmy and Jey didn't get it. They could say they did, but they really didn't. Every moment that Dean was with Bray was dangerous. Bray was poison for Dean. Even if he didn't hurt him physically, he would certainly take advantage and pick Dean apart mentally and emotionally. He had done it before. There was no reason to think he wouldn't again. And Dean didn't need that. He was trying to get better. He was trying to break away from his self-destructive habits. He just needed a break. Seth didn't understand why Dean just couldn't get a true break. It wasn't fair. He had been through so much. Too god damn much. Yet here was more shit that he had to go through. Seth didn't know how much more Dean could take. He really didn't.

"We're going to go alright?" Jey still had control of the conversation from his end. Jimmy had started to say something, but there had been a brief sound of a struggle, and if Seth had to guess, Jimmy had surely ate an elbow to the gut in the process. "We'll call you when we find him."

Seth wasn't okay with that. He wasn't okay with just sitting there and waiting for some kind of news. He knew Roman felt the same way. They felt so useless sitting there. They wanted to help. But there was nothing they could do. Not from where they were. There was no choice but to sit there and wait.

They hung up the phone and just sat there in a tense silence. Roman drummed his fingers against the arm of the chair, his body nearly shaking. Seth knew he wanted to get up and be able to freely pace about. But he couldn't. His ability to walk was still so hampered. There was the very real possibility that he would never get to the point that he could ever wrestle again. And that was all because of Bray. Seth hated him for everything he had done to them. He fucking hated him with every ounce of his  
being.

"He'll be okay." Roman broke the silence. He wrapped an arm around Seth and squeezed him tightly. "They'll find him. He'll come back to us."

Seth didn't know how Roman could sound so sure of himself. He didn't even think Roman believed his own words. He was just trying to make him feel better. It wasn't really working though. Seth was torn between wanting to scream and wanting to be sick. Maybe he would just do both. At least then he would be doing something, even if it was still useless.

"Look at me." Roman grabbed Seth by the chin and forced him to turn his head. "Babe look at me."

Seth looked, swallowing hard as his eyes met Roman's. Grey eyes pleaded with him to believe his words. Seth understood that in that moment that Roman needed him to believe because he couldn't take the complete loss of hope at the moment. Even for someone as strong as he was there was only so much even Roman could take. Roman needed him to be strong.

"He'll be okay," Roman repeated. He was trying to convince the both of them really. "We'll get through this."

Seth just nodded. They couldn't let Bray win. They had to get through this and win. They had to do it even if it was the last thing they ever did.

* * *

Dean's head and throat seemed to throb in time with the wheels of the car as they turned. He hadn't really been fully conscious when Bray had carried him out of the building. He hadn't even been fully conscious when Bray had stopped somewhere and bought two frozen bags of peas to use as ice packs. But now that he was awake, he wished that he wasn't. The pain was not only worse, but now his anxiety was spiking through the roof. He had no idea where Bray was taking him. He had no idea where he even fucking was now. They hadn't passed a sign yet to give him a clue. He thought about asking but the words wouldn't come out. He wasn't sure if he really wanted the answer. So he just sat there, his eyes shifting back and forth from the window to Bray's 's gaze was directed strictly to the road. The moonlight streamed in from the window, giving him a rather eerie glow. He hummed along to the radio, tapping his fingers against the steering wheel in time with the beat. There was a hint of a smile on his face. It was like there was nothing remotely wrong in his world. And maybe there wasn't. Dean was there with him. That was what he always said he wanted. But that had never been enough before. He always had to twist everything and poke where it hurt the most. He had to break Dean down and build him into the image he wanted. Dean knew he wasn't much good at relationships, but Bray was terrifyingly bad. He was selfish. Cruel when it suited him. He had tried to kill Dean on more than one occasion. Yet here he sat, not jumping out of the car to get away. He wanted to blame the blow to the head. He wanted that to be the case. But he knew it wasn't. Not with what had happened the night before.

His face flushed at the memory. There was an unmistakable pull he felt to Bray. He didn't want to feel it. He thought he had been over it. After fucking everything that had happened, this was the last thing he should have been feeling. But feeling or doing what he was supposed to had never been his strong suit. He liked things that were bad for him. Drugs, alcohol, death matches, toxic relationships-anything that would cause him some kind of pain, whether it be physical or emotional. He had never felt like he deserved better. And even with Seth and Roman's support, even with therapy, even with waking up in the morning and telling himself that he deserved more, it was still so hard to really embrace that way of thinking. He didn't feel worthy of it. He didn't feel like he contributed anything to his relationship with Seth and Roman. They needed a partner who could give back to them like they did each other. Not the broken shell who needed more than he could give. With Bray that was fine. All he had to do in this relationship was be there and give in. For all the pain that came with Bray, there were things that were easier with him. He didn't have to fight what he secretly felt like was a losing battle to be fixed. It was okay to be broken with Bray. Bray liked it that way. Dean could be the shell of a man he always had been and still not be alone. There was comfort in that thought. And when he didn't fight it, things could sort of be okay between them.

_What the fuck are you even thinking? Look at you. Being so fucking weak. Pathetic. No wonder Bray runs all over you. You're so god damn weak and stupid._

He bit down on his lower lip and looked down. He really was all those things. Stupid, weak, pathetic...even when he tried to change, he fell back into this trap. Fuck. He wrapped his arms around himself and squeezed tightly. He needed Seth and Roman. He needed them to feel strong. He tried to do it on his own. He really did. But when he didn't really believe it, he had to leech off of their belief in him. And that belief would surely be shattered if they found out he fucked Bray again. How couldn't it be? He just threw away all their efforts to help him. He disregarded the pain Bray had caused them. And for what? A dirty fuck in an alley? The chance to go through all the pain and torment that he had been through before? Bray was controlling on their best days. On their worst he'd be the death of him.

"Don't think so hard little lamb." Bray's voice jarred Dean from his thoughts. He took one hand off the wheel and grabbed Dean's hand. He laced their fingers together and squeezed tightly. Dean instinctively tried to pull away but Bray didn't let go. Instead he pulled Dean's hand towards his mouth and kissed the back of it. "You're going to make your head hurt more."

Dean tried to pull his hand away again. "Where are we going?"

Bray shrugged. "I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"I didn't exactly expect to have to make a big rescue," Bray said in his defense.

"You really weren't planning on dragging me back to a hotel room or something?"

"Well I could get us a hotel room if you want..."

"No!" Dean shook his head and finally got his hand back from Bray. "Jesus no."

Bray raised his eyebrows and chuckled in lieu of saying anything.

"I need to go back." Dean shifted around in his seat as his eyes stared up ahead for a sign. He still had no idea where he was. "Turn around."

"No."

Dean gulped. That answer didn't surprise him. "Bray don't do this."

"I'm not doing anything." Bray sounded both amused and offended by Dean's statement at the same time. "We're just going for a drive."

"To where?" Dean tried not to jump right into hysterics, but it was starting to get hard already. "Bray where the fuck are we going?"

"Are you scared little lamb?"

"Considering that you have a history of kidnapping me? Yeah. I fucking am."

Bray shook his head. "I'm not kidnapping you. I'll give you back to the brute and the rat. Just uh...not now."

Dean groaned and ran his hands over his face. The bag of peas that had been resting against his throat fell to his lap and he quickly knocked it down to the floor because it was cold. "Bray god damn it. We can't do this again." He swallowed hard, wincing at the pain that flared up because of it. "This doesn't work. We don't work. We never did."

"We did once," Bray argued. "We could again."

"No! We can't. You know we can't."

"Because you won't let us."

"Don't fucking put this on me! It's not just me who's the fucking problem here!" Dean took the other bag of peas out from behind his head and threw them down. "Not after everything you've done to me." His voice cracked as he said the last four words. He tried to mask it, but it was there, plain as day. His pain, his weakness-it was all swimming together and making his chest hurt now too. "We...we can't work. We fuck each other up."

"And what if it were different?" Bray reached forward and turned off the radio. Dean wished he hadn't. The abscence of the radio made the silence around them seem more ominous. "You know you're never going to be fully connected to your boys."

"Stop." Dean's voice was weak. He tried to make it strong. He didn't want to be weak. He couldn't let himself be weak. "Don't start that."

"I'm not saying it to hurt you." Bray wasn't one to just stop. Talking was like breathing to him. "Or to manipulate you. I'm just stating a fact. I've watched you since you woke up. I've seen you struggle with what they want you to be. They want the darkness out of you completely. They don't understand that it's engrained in you. You were raised in it. Molded by it. The light of the moon is more suited for you rather than the light of the sun."

"So I'm fucked," Dean summarized. He brought his hand up to his shoulder and began to rub at it. "That's what you're telling me."

"You could learn to embrace it," Bray suggested. "You see the darkness as a prison. It doesn't have to be. The night isn't just full of terrors. It can hold the keys to freedom."  
"Freedom huh?" Dean didn't really bother to hide his disbelief. "How do you figure that?"

"You don't have to pretend to be something you're not. You don't have to be scared of tainting the ones around you. The ones around you will understand and not be scared. They know the kind of pain you've been through. They know the evils of the world."

"And me being in the dark makes it easier for you to step in." Dean wasn't fooled. Not on this one. "Maybe you're not wrong, but fucking don't pretend you're saying any of this for my own good."

"And who says I'm pretending on that?" Bray asked. "Maybe I'm tired of seeing you suffer."

Dean almost started laughing right then and there. After everything they had gone through, that statement was just so absurd to hear. "You're not that selfless. You never have been." He dug his fingers into his jeans, gripping the denim tightly."We can't fucking do this. You've raped me and tried to kill me. I've turned you into this obsessive monster and nearly killed you. We got to stop this."

"And do what? You live with your boys, trapped in expectations that you can't meet?" Bray's grip on the steering wheel tightened. He pulled over to the side of the road, making Dean's stomach drop. Being in a car with Bray on an empty highway in the dead of night while he was rapidly getting angrier? Disaster was written all over this. Dean's hand immediately went to the door handle, making Bray reach over to grab him by the collar. "You know I can't stay away. I've tried. But everything in me screams for you. My body, my mind, my soul-you're in every inch of me." His free hand moved to rest over Dean's chest. "This fire that burns inside of you, it calls to me. All your rage, all your anger. I understand it. It's burned inside me too."

"So we what? Burn together?" Dean shifted around nervously.

"An eternal flame."

"Or it just leaves us a pile of fucking ashes."

Bray shrugged, not terribly bothered by Dean's negativity. "Sometimes that's the only ending that's possible." He gestured back and forth between them. "People like us don't always get happy endings wrapped up in a little bow. If this fire burns us then it'll burn. We can't stop it." He leaned in close, putting his face just inches from Dean's. "If you're the death of me then I'll take it."

The hairs on the back of Dean's neck stood straight up. Bray was too close. Too fucking close. Their lips hadn't even touched yet but that telltale spark was starting up already. Maybe the fire Bray described was why he couldn't stay away. He wasn't meant to be fixed. He was meant to self-destruct, and this fucked up relationship with Bray was final fire that would put him out. "You're fucking insane." His voice was barely above a whisper. His mouth felt so very dry. "You need help."

"I need you."

Dean tried to object. The words started to come out but Bray didn't let him finish. He closed the distance, his lips attacking Dean's eagerly. Dean's reaction was completely torn. His hands went to Bray's chest, trying to push him away while his lips automatically responded to the kiss. His head was spinning. He didn't know what to do. What if he really never found true peace with Seth and Roman? What if the three of them were really just fooling themselves on the matter? But Bray wasn't the answer either. Not a good one at least. Maybe he was more capable of understanding him than Seth and Roman, but he was far more selfishly motivated and that was on his best days. He was a bigger egomaniac than Dean, Seth and Roman combined on any day, and on his worst he was absolutely deadly. Every way he turned seemed like a dead end. It made him want to scream.

Bray's hand slipped under Dean's shirt. His fingers drifting freely over his heated skin made Dean jump. His lungs burned, aching for the air Bray wasn't allowing him to have. His head was spinning. It was spinning right out of control, just like this situation. He had to stop. He tried to just pull away but Bray yanked him back to him. They were on the move, tumbling for the backseat. A sudden rush of fear filled Dean. The memory of the last time they were in the backseat of a car hit him in full force. Bray had been seized by a fit of madness that day, nearly wrecking the car before injuring Dean's hand and raping him in the backseat. Dean's stomach turned and his mind spun into a panic. Bray's hands on his body was too much. His weight on top of him was too much. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't think. He had to make it stop. His mind kept replaying that incident over and over again. He could feel the pain he had felt. He could taste his own fear and it made him want to throw up.

"No," he managed to croak out. His voice wouldn't work right despite his desire to scream. "No no no." He pushed against Bray desperately. "Don't. Fucking don't."

"I'm not going to hurt you little lamb," Bray said as his lips moved to Dean's neck.

"Bray please!" Panic settled in now. His breaths were short and erratic, the car growing increasingly hot. "Don't. Please don't." The pleas were falling out of his mouth so fast he could barely even understand himself. "Don't please please Bray don't..."

Bray's movements stilled. Dean closed his eyes, not wanting to see the anger that would surely be on Bray's face. He braced himself, waiting for Bray to start back up and do what he wanted anyway. All he felt though was a kiss to his forehead. Then Bray's weight was gone, leaving him shocked. He kept his eyes closed still, expecting it to be a trick. It wasn't until the car started and they were on the road again that he opened his eyes. Bray was driving, the radio back on to break any silence. Dean let out a shaky sigh of relief. He still didn't know where he was being taken, but that didn't matter as much. The shock of Bray taking no for an answer was primarily on his mind. He didn't understand. Had putting a bullet in Bray's head changed him, or was it just a ploy to get Dean to trust him? To be more willing to fall back into his arms later? He didn't know. He couldn't bring himself to care at the moment. Instead he just put his hands over his face and let the relief of the reprieve wash over him.


	15. Chapter 15

The only sounded in the pick-up truck was the constantly changing songs on the radio. Erick kept changing it every five seconds, not satisfied with anything that came pouring out of the speakers. Luke had to bite his tongue and grip the steering wheel extra tight to keep himself from snapping. Yelling at Erick would only make him feel better for the short term. It wouldn't fix any of their problems. It wouldn't find Bray for them. It wouldn't get rid of Ambrose. Just driving around wouldn't get them anywhere either. Neither of them had any idea where Bray would be taking Dean now. The new compound wasn't a likely option. Bray knew how they felt about his obsession with Dean. The thought of Bray taking Dean back to the old compound was one entertained, but Luke didn't find it likely. People would be looking for Dean. Rollins and Reigns would be able to tell the cops where the old compound was, meaning it wouldn't stay safe for long. That left any destination for Bray to be a mystery. But that was fine. Luke had a new idea. One that would get Dean's attention and make him come straight to them. And then he would end this. Bray had failed. Erick had failed. But he wouldn't. He couldn't. The madness had to stop.

The change of the radio stations became faster. Erick pushed the buttons over and over, not even listening to what song would start to play from each station. Luke tightened his grip on the steering wheel. He was not going to punch Erick in the face. He wasn't going to do it. He had to keep his temper in check, even if it was killing him to do it. But Erick wasn't stopping. Press the button. Different song. Press the button. Different song.

Luke couldn't kill him.

He shouldn't kill him.

Press the button. Different fucking song.

Luke was going to fucking murder him.

"Would you stop?" Spit flew past Luke's lips as he snarled. One hand came off the steering wheel and smacked Rowan across his face. The impact was so hard he knocked the sheep's mask right off him. Rowan's head rocked with the blow but no sound left his mouth. His gaze snapped back at Luke, who glared right back at him. "That's enough." Luke angrily shut the radio off completely. "If you can't be useful then just sit."

Erick just stared at him, eyes blazing in anger. Luke didn't care. He got the silence he had been craving. His hand returned to the wheel and he focused his eyes on the road up ahead. The only car around them was one a ways up ahead; it could barely be seen even with their headlights. Everyone back at the arena had focused more on trying to catch Bray that they had managed to slip away from the chaos. Luke was thankful for that. By the time anyone potentially started caring where he and Erick were, they would be far enough gone not to have them guess where they were going.

"Where are we going?" Erick finally asked. His voice was gruff, his desire to strike back at Luke along with his reluctance to speak very evident.

"Florida," Luke replied.

Erick stared at him, the next question going unasked. Luke knew what he was thinking though. He almost always did.

"If Dean wants to take Bray away from us, then we'll take his boys. Lead the rat into a trap." Luke felt a smile cross his face as he said it out loud. "He won't be able to resist." His smile grew bigger, his eyes lighting up with a maniacal glee. "And then we'll get rid of him. Take him away and make Bray ours again."

Erick accepted the answer. He accepted pretty much everything Luke told him, so it wasn't like that was a surprise. They rode in silence, the grin not leaving Luke's face the whole while. In his head, there was no way the plan wouldn't work. He couldn't let it fail. He wouldn't. He would save his family and burn Ambrose and everyone he loved to the ground.

* * *

It was nearly midnight by the time Bray finally stopped driving. He checked them into a cheap motel, dragging Dean in by the wrist so he couldn't try to run off. There was an ongoing disagreement of this being a kidnapping. Dean saw it as one, while Bray figured if he (albeit reluctantly) let Dean go in the morning, it could technically be called borrowing instead of kidnapping. When they got to the room Bray ripped the phone off the hook and threw it outside, not giving Dean the chance to call Seth or Roman or the Usos. The move got him a death glare, but he hadn't cared. He just wanted Dean to himself. Maybe that was asking too much, but he didn't care. He had him and wasn't giving him up quite yet.

Dean sat down at the table by the window. He looked absolutely exhausted, but it was pretty clear he had no plans to sleep. Not if he could help it anyway. He didn't trust Bray to leave himself in such a vulnerable position. The lack of trust didn't really bother Bray. Neither did the silence. He just kicked back on the only bed in the room (the receptionist had claimed there were no rooms with two beds available, much to Dean's chagrin), and kept his eyes trained on Dean. Dean tried to just ignore him at first. He looked down at his lap before moving his gaze to the wall. He continuously wrung his hands together while he tapped his feet against the floor. His teeth kept biting down on his lower lip, gnawing away until he drew blood. Bray thought about making him stop, but decided against it. He just kept watching him instead, waiting for him to say or do something first.

"Quit fucking staring at me." Dean finally had to crack and break the silence. It was the first time he had really spoken since he had freaked out in the backseat of the car.

"Is it bothering you?" Bray rested his hands over his stomach, lacing his fingers together. He knew the answer to the question already. He just had to ask anyway. He needed the response.

"Turn on the TV or something." Dean shifted uncomfortably in his chair. "You don't have to fucking keep staring."

But he did. That was what Dean didn't understand. Bray couldn't help but watch him. Everything about Dean fascinated him. The simplest of movements cast a spell on him, pulling him further down the proverbial rabbit hole. He had to wonder if there was ever going to be a bottom to the damn thing. One would think there had to be, but Bray didn't see one in sight.

"Just turn on the fucking TV." Dean still tried to avoid any eye contact with Bray. His hands kept wringing together, the speed of his foot tapping getting faster. His shoulders were starting to twitch as well. He wanted to run. Wanted to hide. But he didn't try. He knew it was useless. Wherever he went, Bray would follow. He would find him. He always would.

"I don't know where the remote is darlin." Bray broke his gaze on Dean briefly to look over at the bedside desk. All he saw there was the lamp and the digital clock. "It might be up there." He pointed to the TV that sat a few feet in front of them. "Look up there for it."

Dean made no move to get up. His hand went to his shoulder instead, rubbing erratic circles to try to calm himself. Bray shook his head. TV didn't particularly interest him, so he didn't make a move to get up and turn it on for Dean.

"How's your head?"

Dean shrugged.

"How about your throat?"

"Why do you care?" Dean eyed Bray distrustfully. "You've done worse to me."

Fair point. Bray thought about apologizing. It was a foreign idea to him; he couldn't even remember one instance in his life that he had apologized for anything he had done. He wasn't one to lie, so he had just never said it. But he almost said it now. He took the breath, the words sitting on the tip of his tongue. But they didn't come out. What would be the point? Dean wouldn't believe him. He didn't even know if he was really sorry or not. The feeling was too foreign for him to understand or truly recognize. "You know, I'm trying to be nice here," he finally said. "Do you want me to be a monster?" He moved around, staying seated on the bed with his feet on the floor. He braced his hands against the mattress, ready to pop the rest of the way up quickly. "Do you want me to hurt you so you can go running back to your boys and have something to tell them besides your latest dirty secret?"

Dean flinched. The mere thought of telling Roman and Seth what had happened the night before scared the shit out of him. Bray could see it clear as day. It was doubtful he would even tell them. He'd bottle it up, wallowing in his guilt and torment and driving himself mad. Such a ridiculous way to live life, but that was Dean's style.

"You didn't answer me little lamb." Bray got up now, slowly moving closer to Dean. Dean shrank back in his chair, his twitching turning into shaking with every step Bray took. Bray observed that bit quietly, more focused on getting the answer to his question than calling him out on being scared. "Do you really want me to play the villain to your victim?" He reached out, grabbing a handful of curly blonde locks and yanking back roughly. Dean yelped, his eyes watering in pain. "Is that really what you want?"

"Let go." Dean struggled to pull himself free. "Let go of me."

Bray let him go, but didn't back off. He dropped down to his knees, leaning forward so his face was just inches from Dean's. "Something's gotta give little lamb." He tapped two fingers against the side of his head. "These mixed signals keep messing with my head. You need me but then you say you hate me. You shot me but then can't finish the job when I give you a second chance. You let me in only to just push me away all over again." He tapped his fingers against his head again. "My head is feeling rather messed with."

"Your head?" Dean swallowed nervously and shook his head in disbelief. "You're the master manipulator but I'm messing with your head?" He let out a choked noise that was supposed to be a laugh. "Fucking shit Bray." He rubbed at his shoulder, slipping his hand through the collar of his shirt so he could dig his nails into his skin.

"Stop that." Bray grabbed Dean's wrist and pulled his hand away. "You'll take your skin off." He let go of Dean's wrist after a moment, only to have to grab it once more as Dean tried to just claw at himself again. "What did I just say?"

"Fuck you." Dean yanked himself free and stood up. He staggered away from Bray, tripping over his own feet and nearly hitting the floor before he managed to catch himself. "I can't do this. I can't fucking do this." He shook his head, his hand going up to rub across his chest along with his shoulder now. "I can't do it. I can't I can't I can't."

"Little lamb..."

"No!" Dean leaped back as if he had been lunged at. "Just stop. Just fucking stop." His voice cracked, just like he was cracking as a whole. "I can't fucking do this." He shook his head, words spilling out of him faster now. "I can't go in this circle. I can't have you breaking me apart and playing with what's left." His hand rubbed more over his heart now. "There's nothing I can give you. Or them. There's nothing. Just a shell." He slapped at his chest now, wincing because he hit himself so hard. "Just a fucking, fucking shell." He gripped at the front of his shirt, holding on as if he would float away from himself if he didn't have something to ground him. "I hate this. I hate what I am. I hate what you've done to me. I hate what they've all done to me." He swallowed hard and moved his hands up to his hair, nearly ripping some right out of his head. "I hate that they didn't want me until you sank your claws in."

Bray raised his eyebrows. The they was shifting to Seth and Roman, which was something he found very interesting.

"I hate that I don't deserve them." Dean's voice wavered even more now. "I hate that I can't feel like I do. I hate that I put them in danger just by fucking existing. I hate that after everything they've done for me, I still was weak and let you...just fuuuuck!" He started slamming a fist into the side of his head. "I can't do this anymore. I can't. I can't I can't I can't."

"Little lamb calm down." Bray closed the distance between them and grabbed Dean by the wrists. Dean tried to pull away but Bray held on tight. He could practically feel the desperation rolling off Dean in waves. He was so lost. He was just so lost and didn't know how to get out. He wanted to be loved. He wanted to be saved. The problem was that he didn't know how to stop hating himself long enough to maintain the feeling that he deserved either of those things. Seth and Roman's love wasn't the magic wand that would just fix everything. But fixing Dean in the way they wanted to fix him would be no easy task. It most likely would not even be possible. Dean was too dark for what they wanted. Too stained by what life had given him. Bray knew he had contributed to it, but even if he had never entered the picture, Dean wouldn't have been able to fit in with what they wanted. That was why Seth and Roman had turned more to each other in the first place. They fit together. Pieces of light that could shine more brightly when they stood side by side. Dean was the shadow. The needy, desperate shadow who was shaking in his hands. Bray tightened his grip, determined not to let him go. "Let me fix you." Bray pulled Dean completely against him, his lips going to Dean's ear. "You know they can't save you."

Dean stiffened before shaking his head. "You can't either." His voice was so quiet that Bray almost didn't even hear him. "You don't want to." His eyes darted around, refusing to make contact with Bray's. "I'm not completely stupid." He bit down on his lower lip. "I'm close to it I know. But I'm not blind. I know what you are and what you want. I know what you'll do." He tried to pull out of Bray's grasp. "If I don't give in, you'll burn down everything around me to get to me. And if I give in, you'll burn down everything around me so I have nothing but you. So what the hell am I supposed to do here?"

Bray shrugged. "You know my answer to that one."

Dean didn't say anything. He didn't have to. He knew Bray's answer, just like Bray had said. He tried to pull away again, but Bray still held on. He didn't want him to go anywhere. Instead he pulled him back in, crashing their lips together. Dean wasn't the only one with a war to rage in his head. Bray himself was torn on what to do. Part of him screamed at him to take Dean. Take what he wanted. It screamed that Dean was his anyway. Even if others pretended otherwise, Dean was his. But another part was trying to shine through. Going too far was just going to alienate Dean from him. Maybe it wouldn't be right away, but it would happen like it did before. He had to make Dean want him, just like he had the night before. That was why he had backed off in the car. Dean had freaked and he had stopped. Wasn't that good? That was the sort of thing Dean wanted, wasn't it? But would any of those efforts matter? Dean was too mixed up for even him to read on that front. Even now his signals were mixed. Lips moved with his one moment, his hands pulling them together. The next second he was trying to push him away, his head squirming to break the kiss.

Bray pushed him to the wall, not letting their lips break contact. His hands moved off of Dean's wrists and down to his body instead, one sliding up his shirt to touch his heated skin while the other slid down in front of his jeans. He rubbed through the denim roughly, making Dean shudder and moan underneath him. His lungs burned for breath, but he was reluctant to give in. He finally had to though. He forced himself to tear his lips away, taking several deep breaths before moving his mouth over Dean's neck. He scraped his teeth against his skin, taking great delight in the whimpers he got for his efforts.

"Stop," Dean managed to say. The palms of his hands pushed against Bray's shoulders. The force he used wasn't nearly enough to actually get Bray away though. "We can't..."

"We can." Instinct was taking over. Bray rubbed at Dean's crotch harder, spurred on by how his body was responding. "Look at you. You still want me. I know you do."

Dean shook his head. "No." He pushed at Bray hader. "No no no no."

Bray growled and bit down on Dean's neck. He should stop, but he didn't want to stop. Dean's body screamed for more but his words said otherwise. He was lying somewhere in this twisted path, but Bray couldn't tell which part was doing it. Was it his brain and mouth, which were so steadfastly stuck in denial? Or was his body simply betraying him? Better yet, which did he really want to listen to?

If he didn't give Dean a reason to paint him as a monster anymore, Dean would be more likely to give in to him again.

But if he didn't have Dean now, he might not get the chance again.

_Unless...unless there's no other options for him._

The idea struck him so hard he froze. It wasn't a full fledged thought out plan yet. But in his heart, he understood what he had to do. Maybe it was "wrong" in every sense of the word, but it could get him what he wanted. And if he did it right, the blame wouldn't be able to go on him.

He stepped back, catching Dean by surprise yet again. It took every ounce of will in his body to do it, but he had to. Dean didn't trust him yet. He had to work on that. "Go."

Dean stared at him, eyes wide and confused. "What?"

"Go. Run." He pointed to the door. "Isn't that what you want little lamb?"

Dean stared at him warily. Very slowly he started to edge for the door. He watched Bray like a hawk, expecting him to lunge at him and pull him back. When he didn't he broke out into a run, not even shutting the hotel room door behind him. Bray watched him go, his heart and body aching. He forced that pain out of his mind though. He couldn't dwell on it. It would be gone for good soon enough.

Just like Seth and Roman would be.


	16. Chapter 16

"You know, I think we might have to call it a night."

Jey responded to Jimmy's suggestion with a glare. They had been spending the past several hours looking for Dean. It was a search that had gotten them nowhere. They had absolutely no idea where Bray could have taken Dean. But Jey couldn't let them give up. They couldn't just sit back and actively let Bray get away with this. They had to fight the fight that Seth and Roman weren't there to fight themselves. Dean was their family at this point, just like Roman and Seth. They couldn't give up on family. Not now. Not ever.

Jimmy sighed. He knew what Jey was thinking and feeling. They always knew that kind of stuff about each other. "We're chasing ghosts out here man. I'm not saying we give up completely. But we're getting nowhere. We need to start fresh."

It wasn't that he didn't have a point. He actually did. But it wasn't really something Jey wanted to acknowledge right. In his mind, stopping at all meant letting Bray win. Stopping meant that all the work Roman and Seth and Dr. Walsh had done to help Dean would turn out to be all in vain.

_Because you know I'm all about that bass, bout that bass, no treble. I'm all 'bout that bass, 'bout that bass, no treble..._

Jimmy snorted as Jey's ringtone filled the car. "Really man?"

"Shut up." Jey cringed sheepishly as he quickly pressed the button to answer the call. He didn't even look at the number flashing on his screen in his embarrassment. "Hello?"

"Jey?"

Jey's eyes widened. "Dean?" He looked to Jimmy, who looked as shocked as he did. "Dean holy shit. Where are you? Are you alright?"

"I...can you guys get me?"

"What's he saying?" Jimmy asked at the same time. "What happened?"

Jey put a hand up to silence his brother. He could answer his questions after Dean answered his own. "We'll get you. But we got to know where you are."  
"I'm...I'm in a Kwik Shop in Asheville. The one right next to the Pizza Hut." Dean's voice was shaky and so totally terrified. It unsettled Jey to his very core. "I...I don't know how long I got. I don't know if he'll change his mind."

"Change his mind?" Jey looked to Jimmy and quickly mouthed the word "Asheville" so he would know which direction to start going in. "What the fuck does that mean?"

"He let me go. Told me to run."

"Seriously? He just let you go? Is that...that's a good thing right?"

Dean took a long time to answer that question. "I don't know," he finally admitted. "I don't trust it. I know him too well. He's planning something."

That wasn't a comforting statement. But Jey supposed that when it came to a man like Bray Wyatt, there wasn't really going to be any comfort found anywhere. "If you see him before we get there, you run. Keep the phone you got on you and use that to get ahold of us if you gotta move."

"I don't think the guy I took this from is going to like that."

"I don't give a shit. Kick his fucking ass if you have to. We'll be there as soon as we can."

"Give me that." Jimmy snatched the phone right out of Jey's hand. "Yo. Call Seth and Roman so they know you're okay. They're going fucking nuts at home."

Jey couldn't hear what Dean said in return, but it must have satisfied Jimmy. "We'll be there as soon as we can, alright uce?" Jimmy's foot pressed on the gas harder. It was extremely late so they didn't have much in the way of traffic to worry about. "Just sit tight unless that asshole tries to get you again. Then you run like fuck." He waited for a moment before nodding. "Good. Call Seth and Roman and tell them we're getting you." He hung up the phone and pressed on the gas harder. "Fuck man."

"At least we know where he is," Jey said.

"Unless Bray wants to get him back." Jimmy tightened his grip on the wheel. "Why would Bray let him go to begin with?"

Jey shrugged. He didn't know. He didn't want to know. He just wanted to get to Dean so they could get him home in one piece. That was all he was worried about.

* * *

The night felt like it would never end. Dean stayed hidden in the back of the Kwik Shop, calling Roman and Seth like Jimmy had told him to. There wasn't much to the conversation besides reassuring them a thousand times that he was okay and somewhere safe. The latter wasn't a lie at least. Not yet anyway. The former though? That was such a lie. He wasn't okay. He wasn't okay at all. He knew Bray had to be planning something. With how utterly obsessed Bray was with him, there was no he would really just let him go. There was a game going on here. There had to be. He didn't want to know what it was though. He was so fucking sick and scared and he just couldn't handle it. It was too much. This was all too much. He wanted to just curl up in himself and not come back out. But he couldn't. What would be the point? Bray would probably come in and find him there too. There was no escape. Death didn't even sound like an actual escape anymore. Bray would probably just kill himself so he could follow Dean to hell. It was a terrifying thought, but that was the only fate that Dean could see. That was how far deep this was. There was no going back. Bray would never get over him. This love would kill one or both of them and Bray was clearly fine with that. That was the way he wanted it to be. As for Dean...well it clearly didn't matter what he wanted. It never had. It never would.

At some point he slumped down on the floor, his back pressed against the wall. It didn't dawn on him that he passed out until he felt hands shaking him awake. He yelped and tried to just swing, his eyes opening but not actually seeing who was there with him.

"Hey hey hey!" Jey's voice cut through his panic fueled daze. "It's us. It's us man!"

Dean blinked. His bearings slowly came back to him. Jimmy and Jey were kneeling in front of him while the store clerk stared at them from across the store. "Fuck." He rubbed his eyes and pushed himself up to his feet. "Fuck my neck hurts."

"He said you were out for awhile." Jimmy pointed back to the clerk as he spoke. "I think you freaked him out, He didn't want to like make you move or anything."

With how stiff his neck was, Dean wasn't entirely grateful that he had been left alone. He didn't really want to bother saying anything though. He just wanted to go home. He wanted to be back with Seth and Roman. He needed to throw himself back into being what they wanted him to be. He wanted to forget that he had given into Bray and got himself deeper into this mess.

Going home wasn't an immediate option though. There was no way they would make it back to Raleigh in time for their flight. Jimmy checked them into a hotel instead, saying they would book a different flight back to Florida after they got some sleep. Dean's heart sank. He didn't want to stay. Staying put would leave him alone in his thoughts and that was just too dangerous. But he couldn't fight them on the matter. They were exhausted, passing out after barricading the door and putting a trap in the window that would wake them up if Bray decided to slither in. Dean laid on the other bed, mentally and emotionally exhausted but unable to sleep. He didn't know what to do with himself. He felt trap. Both life and death were a cage. It was something that scared him to his very core. Part of him wanted to call Seth and Roman again. Confess everything that had been done and said with Bray over the past two nights. But fear wouldn't let him pick up the phone. He couldn't tell them what he let happen. They'd hate him for it. It was a stupid, paranoid thought, but he couldn't drive it out. How could they not hate him? He had made them believe that he wanted to be better. That he wanted to drive Bray out. And while it was still true, his actions made him look like a liar.

Dean rolled off the bed and went into the bathroom. He shut the door behind him, completely forgetting to lock it behind him. He didn't dare let his eyes meet his reflection in the mirror. He just gripped the edge of the sink and tried to take deep breaths. He wanted his mind to be clear. He didn't want to examine what he felt towards Bray. It was too fucking complicated to really wrap his head around. He hated him for all the things he had done. He hated him for hurting Seth and Roman. He hated for breaking down the walls he had spent a lifetime putting up to protect himself. He hated him for fucking everything but for all that hatred, for all the knowing better, there was still a part of him that was drawn to him. It craved the subjugation. It craved the fire that came with Bray's touch. It craved the certainty that no matter what happened, Bray wouldn't ever get rid of him.

He squeezed his eyes shut to try to stop the tears from forming. He loved Seth and Roman. He loved them so fucking much. And he knew they loved him. But what if it didn't stay that way? What if they pushed him away again? He wasn't an easy person to love. He knew that. For now they accepted it and did it anyway. But what if it didn't last? The question hurt his heart, but he couldn't help but wonder.

He smacked both of his hands on either side of his head. He had to stop thinking like this. He couldn't do this. He had to think better. He didn't want these bad thoughts in his head. These were killing him. He had to get them out. Oh god he needed them out.

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK SMACK SMACK!

"Dean!"

Jey's voice made Dean jump. He tried to jerk away as the younger Uso grabbed his wrists and pulled his hands away from his head. Dean whimpered and tried to pull back harder.

"Come on man." Jey shook his head and tightened his grip. "Stop. You gotta stop."

He couldn't stop. That was the problem. Dean couldn't ever stop. His mind was always going these days, a whirlwind of paranoia, self hatred and just plain torment. He tried to jerk away from Jey again but Jey refused to let go. He pulled him in instead, wrapping both arms around Dean's body and not letting him go anywhere. Dean finally just gave up and buried his face in the fabric of Jey's shirt. He bit his tongue to muffle any sobs and squeezed his eyes shut more tightly, still fighting tears that wanted to escape. He wasn't anywhere near as successful as he thought he was, but Jey didn't give him any shit. He just held on tight and refused to let go.

* * *

Seth turned off the water to the shower but didn't immediately step out. Instead he stood there, watching the drops of water slowly roll down his body. The steam in the room made it hard to breathe but he liked it that way. The hot water had felt good on him. It kept him distracted from his concern. Jey had called about a half hour ago and said that they couldn't get a flight to Tampa until about six that evening. That hadn't been the news Seth wanted to hear, but given that it took them so long to track down Dean, it didn't surprise him. He asked if Dean was okay at least. Jey had gone quiet, finally saying that physically he was. The rest would need to be talked about when they got there. Seth hadn't liked the sound of that. That meant Bray had surely mind fucked him again and it was up to them to unravel the damage.

He sighed and got out of the shower. He felt so exhausted. This constant war with Bray over Dean was just killing them. Bray was too stubborn to let go. It made winning really impossible. Seth wished the bastard had died the night Dean shot him. He really did. Hell, he was willing to finish the job himself if he could just get half a chance. He didn't even need a full one. Just a sliver of one and the bastard would be going to hell where he belonged.

He grabbed the towel off the rack and dried himself off. His dirty clothes sat in a pile on the floor while his clean ones were on the back of the toilet. He quick through the dirty ones in the laundry hamper he had been too lazy to open before and then got dressed. In the worried daze he had been in before the shower, the only clothes of his he had grabbed had been his boxers. He had one of Roman's plain black t-shirts and a pair of Dean's ripped up jeans. He frowned as he looked down at himself but then just shrugged it off. Whatever. They were comfortable. He left the bathroom and headed down the hall. He didn't hear the TV Roman had going when he had gotten into the shower. It made him frown. Roman had been saying something about wanting to try to take his walker and go around the yard with Kevin. Seth had protested, fearful of Roman pushing himself too hard and fucking himself up more. He knew Roman resented his condition, but he had to be careful. It was hard but he just had to learn to understand that.

"Ro?" he called out as he went down the stairs. "Do you want to pick up some pizza before we go get Dean? We can pick him up whatever he wants on the way back from the airport?"

No answer. Seth's worry increased. Neither Roman or Kevin were in the living room. "Roman Joseph Reigns!" Seth growled and headed to the kitchen. "I swear if you went outside I-" His voice died in his throat as he reached the open doorway to the kitchen. The back door was wide open and there stood Harper and Rowan. Rowan was clutching the struggling Kevin to his chest, determinedly petting him despite being bit repeatedly. Harper stood above Roman, who had his hands tied behind his back and was laying face down on the kitchen floor. There was a hammer in one hand and a gun pointed at the back of Roman's head with the other.

"The bullet will be in his head before you even get to me," Harper informed him. Even through his thick beard Seth could see his crazed grin. "Get down on your knees Rollins. Now."

Seth's body screamed for action. To get to Harper and wrap his hands around his throat. But he couldn't. Even he wasn't that fast. He dropped down to his knees, his body shaking in rage.

"Erick. Tie him up."

Rowan reluctantly put down Kevin and grabbed the rope they had brought with them. Harper kept the gun pointed right on Roman so Seth wouldn't fight as he was tied up and then gagged with an old rag Rowan got from his pocket. Kevin barked and bit at Rowan the whole time, trying to get him away from Seth. Seth watched as Harper's eyes settled in on the Yorkie, the gun suddenly itching to come up and point at it instead.

"Close your eyes and put your hands over your ears."

Harper's orders made Seth let out a muffled scream and Rowan's head snap up. Rowan looked down at the dog and then up at Harper. He shook his head.

"Do it," Harper ordered more sharply

Rowan shook his head again. "I like dog." He reached down and picked up Kevin by the scruff of the neck. "My dog."

Harper scowled. "It ain't your damn dog boy. Put it down."

The stare off lasted forever. Seth's heart hammered inside his chest, his head shaking desperately as Kevin kept struggling and biting against Rowan's grip.

"We hurt them," Rowan growled. He pointed to Seth and Roman. "You leave the dog alone Luke."

"Oh for fuck's sakes..." Harper finally threw his hand up in exasperation. "Fine. Leave the dog here at least. I'm not dragging it around with us."

The lamb mask guarded Rowan's expression. He slowly put Kevin down and threw Seth over his shoulders instead. Seth struggled again him, trying to make some sort of call to Roman even though he knew it was useless. Roman was unconscious on top of being practically helpless anyway.

"Leave the mask," Harper ordered. "The rat needs to know we've been here."

Seth's eyes widened. Dean. Oh god. Had Bray ordered Harper and Rowan to come here? Had he told them to get him and Roman out of the way so he could do something to Dean again? No. He couldn't let that happen. He struggled hard, managing to slip off of Rowan. He managed to spin on his heels and lunge at Harper. He didn't even get to touch him. Harper swung the hand holding the gun and smashed the butt of it into the side of Seth's skull. The pain spread through his head and somehow reverberated through his whole body. He felt himself fall and everything went black as he hit the floor.


	17. Chapter 17

Something felt off the moment Dean's house came into view. Bray could feel it in his gut. He couldn't immediately identify what it was though. He circled the place several times, getting bolder and more careless each time in an effort to draw either Seth or Roman out. Nothing. Their car was in the driveway and considering the state of Roman, they weren't going to be out for a walk. They had to be home. But what was this feeling he was having? It wasn't really apprehension. He could care less about either man. But it was just...weird. It felt like he had just missed something. He couldn't explain why he had that feeling, but he didn't question it. He knew better than to doubt his instincts.

Bray took a glance around to make sure he wasn't being watched before creeping around to the back door. He put his hand on the knob and waited just a moment before giving it a slow turn. It wasn't even locked. So not like Seth and Roman. Not after everything that had happened. He pushed it open and stepped inside. The feeling that something had happened grew even stronger. He shut the door behind him and looked around. The kitchen was completely empty. The little rat of a dog came running and skidded to a halt that separated the kitchen from the living room. Its entire body shook as it barked furiously. Bray supposed the little thing was trying to scare him away. It wasn't remotely working, but the effort was mildly amusing. What got Bray though was Seth not running to check on his little dog. From previous watching he knew damn well Seth was overly attached to the damn mutt. Him not coming to see what was wrong wasn't right.

Bray stepped over the dog as it bit his heels and went to the living room. There was no sign of anyone there either. He frowned and kept walking through the house. The first floor was devoid of any clues. It wasn't until he went upstairs and went to the master bedroom that he found one. Rowan's sheep mask sat right in the middle of the bed. Bray's eyes widened. His boys had been there. They had taken Seth and Roman. That was...troubling. He wanted Seth and Roman out of the way sure. And if they did something, it could keep his hands clean and technically innocent. But the problem was, he currently had no control of what they were planning. And that was bad. He had come to get rid of Seth and Roman for good, but he had planned to make it look like an accident. A fire from some falty wiring that they just couldn't get away from in time. He needed them gone but couldn't have Dean thinking he did it or orchestrated it. Whatever Harper nd Rowan were thinking of doing, they wouldn't take those same measures. Dean would know. And Dean would think he made them do it. He couldn't have that.

Bray grabbed the lamb mask off the bed and left the house as quietly as he had came in. His mind scrambled to think of where Harper and Rowan could have gone. It was doubtful they would be on the way back to the new compound. If something went wrong Harper wouldn't want to compromise the family. It was also doubtful that they would be on the way back to the old compound as well. They had moved out of there because it had been compromised. Besides from that, both places were awfully far from here. Harper would go somewhere closer. Somewhere he knew. Somewhere he could control.

Bray grabbed the lamb mask off the bed and left the house as quietly as he had came in. His mind scrambled to think of where Harper and Rowan could have gone. It was doubtful they would be on the way back to the new compound. If something went wrong Harper wouldn't want to compromise the family. It was also doubtful that they would be on the way back to the old compound as well. They had moved out of there because it had been compromised. Besides from that, both places were awfully far from here. Harper would go somewhere closer. Somewhere he knew. Somewhere he could control.

Bray stopped mid-step as the answer dawned on him. Harper had spent time in a foster home about fifty miles away. It was just outside of the nearby town and had been abandoned since the foster father had shot the foster mother and then hung himself. It would be the perfect spot to go and do...well whatever it was they were planning on doing.

His feet started moving again, the pace quicker than before. Bray slipped back into the car and fired the engine up. He didn't know how much of a head start Haper and Rowan really had on him. He couldn't waste time thinking about it. He just had to try to get to them before they did something that made his life more complicated than it really needed to be.

* * *

Roman grunted as he tried to undo the ropes that bound his hands behind his back. He had no idea where he and Seth were. It was a basement and that was about what he knew. His head throbbed horribly from the two times he had been struck unconscious. The first time had been back at the house. He had been trying to take Kevin outside when Harper and Rowan surprised him at the back door. His useless legs had made jumping out of the way impossible. Rowan and Harper had crashed right into them, the two of them subduing him and knocking him out with something. He had tried to fight them off. He really had. But he had failed, just like he failed during the car ride to wherever here was. He had woken up tied up with an unconscious Seth on top of him. He had tried to figure out a way of this when Harper had ordered Rowan to reach back and knock him out again. Now they were here and he was absolutely terrified. Seth still wasn't awake. He was breathing; Roman could see the steady rise and fall of his chest. But judging from the dried blood on the side of his head, Rowan and Harper had roughed him up pretty bad. Roman felt fucking horrible for it. He hadn't been able to stop it. He hadn't been able to stop any of this. And he wouldn't be able to. He was useless. Helpless. He had been trying so hard to recover but he just wasn't there yet. Not when he needed to be. He had failed Seth and god only knew how soon it would be until he failed Dean too.

He struggled harder against the ropes. He couldn't let himself think like that. He had to be strong. That was what he did. He stayed strong for his boys. He couldn't let himself give in to his panic. There had to be something he could do. A way to slip out of these ropes. A way to crawl out of this room and get to a phone before Harper and Rowan could stop him. He could call for help. Get the police. He didn't know where they were but there had to be a way for them to track the call. He would just have to buy them time.

"Seth!" Roman kept his voice down as low as possible as he spoke. He made himself sit up as he looked at his still unconscious boyfriend. "Seth wake up! Wake up baby please." He could keep it together if Seth would just wake up. Seth could distract him from his fear and panic. But Seth wasn't fucking waking up. He was still out like a light and Roman could feel hysteria taking over. "Baby please wake up. Wake up! Wake up. You got to wake up for me."

Nothing. Seth was still out like a light. Roman groaned. Shit. He needed to just pull himself together. He took a deep breath and tried to make his eyes adjust to the dark. There wasn't a useable window to be found. The one he could see was all boarded up. A set of stairs were nearby. Roman assumed they led to the door. Where Rowan or Harper were was still a mystery. Were they right outside the door? Were they somewhere else? Was this some backwoods place where there wouldn't be help for miles around?

Only one way to find out. Roman forced himself to roll around. He had to find something sharp down here. There was no way to slip out of the ropes so he had to find a way to cut them off instead. He just wished it wasn't so dark. The lone light bulb that hung above them was weak and flickering. There had to be something he could stumble upon in here though. He just had to keep looking.

Roman was still rolling around and trying to search for a way free when he heard the door open. His heart jumped in his chest as he listened to the heavy footsteps on the stairs. He made himself move, managing to scoot himself back to Seth just as Harper came into sight. The bastard had something clutched in his hand, but Roman couldn't tell what it was yet. "Where the fuck are we?" Roman wasted no time in asking. He still struggled against his ropes, but he tried to make it less obvious. He didn't need Harper tightening his restraints or changing them so he couldn't move at all. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

Harper didn't immediately answer him. He just stared at him with his crazed, wide eyed stare. Roman refused to flinch at his gaze or even when he stepped closer. He tried his best to hover over Seth to protect him as much as possible. His actions only seemed to amuse Harper. He uncurled his hand, letting Roman see his own smart phone in his massive hand.

"It's locked," Harper grunted. "What's the password?"

"The fuck you need that for?" Roman hoped he was masking any fear he was feeling. He couldn't let that weakness show. Not for a single second.

"I'm calling the rat." Harper clearly didn't see a reason to keep any of his motives a secret now. Why would he? He had Roman and Seth completely at his mercy. "He's going to join us."

"The fuck he is." Roman didn't need to ask who the rat was. He just knew he meant Dean. "You leave him the fuck alone."

Harper's eyes narrowed. "What's the password Reigns?"

"Fuck off."

Harper didn't ask again. His foot shot out, nailing Roman directly in the face. Roman's entire head rocked back from the blow. He felt the bones in his nose break and blood gushed everywhere. His vision faded to black, but came right back when he felt Seth being ripped away. "No!"

Harper continued to drag Seth back by the hair. His actions woke the smaller man at last. Seth screamed from both pain and surprise. He kicked his feet wildly but it didn't stop Harper. Harper merely pocketed Roman's phone and sat Seth up for Roman to see more clearly.

"Don't!" Roman spat out a mouthful of blood as he spoke. "Don't you fucking dare!"

Harper didn't say a word. He reached into the same pocket he put the phone and pulled out a knife. Without any sort of hesitation, he drove the blade into Seth's shoulder. The scream that came from Seth made Roman's blood curl. He tried to stand up and rush Harper. Adrenaline got him to his feet, but didn't carry him far. His legs gave out and he collapsed even as Harper twisted the knife deeper. Seth screamed again while desperately thrashing his body.

"The password," Harper growled. He held Seth fast against him, his eyes zeroed in on Roman. "I'll fucking skin him alive." He yanked the knife out of Seth's shoulder before dragging the blade across Seth's chest. Seth screamed again. His blood drenched Harper's hand and Roman felt his stomach turn in revulsion. "You don't think I'm bluffing do you?"

No. Roman didn't think that at all. But he didn't know what to do. He couldn't give up Dean. But he couldn't let Seth be hurt. There was no choice that he could make that was really right. One of his boys would suffer no matter what.

Harper moved the knife up and pointed the tip towards Seth's eye. "The password Reigns. Or I cut it out and shove it down his throat."

Seth went deathly still. He stared right at Roman, making him feel even worse. He was silently begging for Roman to do something. Roman swallowed hard. He didn't want to do this. This was wrong. But he couldn't let this happen to Seth. He had to pray Dean wouldn't come and just send the police in his place. "One one two eight." He couldn't look at Harper as he said it. It made him too sick to his stomach.

Harper laughed. "Good boy." He threw Seth back down and headed for the stairs. Roman and Seth watched him go up them, not moving until the door slammed shut behind him. "Fuck." Roman swallowed hard and looked at Seth. "Fuck fuck fuck!" He struggled harder to get out of his ropes. Seth was bleeding all over from his shoulder. "Baby I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Oh god..." Seth whimpered and just laid there. He didn't even try to get out of his own restraints. "He'll kill us." He looked at Roman fearfully. "He'll kill us and he'll kill Dean."

Roman didn't want to think about that. Instead he just maneuvered himself so he was laying on Seth's shoulder. Seth yelped and Roman gave him an apologetic look. It was the only way he had to put pressure on the wound. "Dean's got Jimmy and Jey with him. They'll get him to call the cops instead of coming himself."

Seth gave Roman a look of disbelief. "Or Luke will say he'll kill us if he does that and he'll come running by himself." He groaned as Roman put more pressure on the wound. "He'll fall for it. Dean won't trust the cops. They failed every other time. No way he'll call them."

Fuck. Seth had a point. It was a point Roman didn't want to think about right now. He had to just hope that Dean didn't do anything stupid and that he and Seth could maybe figure a way out before Dean potentially even got there.

* * *

Seth and Roman were gone. Just completely gone. Dean started to freak out at the airport when they weren't there to pick them up. He, Jimmy and Jey finally had to take a taxi to his place, which offered no answers except for the car still being there and Kevin going absolutely nuts. Dean's panic rose to a completely unmanageable level. Something had happened to them. It had to have. They wouldn't just disappear and not answer their phones. No way. Something had fucking happened and he didn't know what. It had to be Bray though. This had been the trick. He had let Dean go to think he was safe and had snatched up Roman and Seth instead. Why hadn't he seen it coming? How could he have thought he would really be allowed to be free? Hadn't he learned anything in all this? No matter what he did, either he got hurt or Seth and Roman did. He should have just stayed with Bray. He should have let Bray keep him. Seth and Roman would have at least been safe. It would have been a sacrifice they deserved considering all they had done for him.

"Where the fuck could Wyatt have taken them?" Jimmy and Jey were in the living room talking. They didn't know Dean was at the stairs listening to every word. Jey was the one currently speaking. "Fucking seriously."

"I don't know," Jimmy replied. "I want to know how he'd even get both of them. They would have had their guard up after last time."

"Harper and Rowan probably helped. They were with him yesterday. They had to have been in on this whole thing."

Dean shivered. He had forgotten about Harper and Rowan. He sank down on the steps and pulled his knees up to his chest. All he could picture now was all three Wyatts attacking Roman and Seth at once. The mere thought sent a new wave of panic through him. His chest tightened and his hands started to shake. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't fucking breathe. Roman and Seth were out there somewhere hurt because of him. It was his fault. All his fault

His stomach turned and he couldn't even get his legs working to run to the bathroom. He just barely turned his head to throw up on the spot of the stairs next to him. What little Jey had managed to get him to eat came right back up, burning the back of his throat in the process. Getting it out wasn't helping. His stomach kept turning horribly. He couldn't breathe. His entire body was shaking now. He couldn't make himself stop. He couldn't make anything stop. Everything was spiraling out of control and  
he couldn't fucking regain any resemblance of control.

"Dean?" Jey's voice made it through the haze he had fallen into. Jey, who kept stubbornly acting as a newly sprung anchor for Dean in all of this. Dean didn't know why he spent more effort than Jimmy in giving a shit and he couldn't really dwell on it now. His mind was racing too much. He felt Jey grab him and he heard his orders to breathe. He even started trying to show Dean how he should breathe. Jimmy stood nearby, just watching. His staring wasn't fucking helping anything. Meanwhile Kevin started  
jumping at him, desperately trying to lick his face.

"Come on Dean." Jey was still talking. "We'll find them alright? We'll find them and get them home. But you got to come back and help us. You know Wyatt and his boys. You need to help us help Seth and Roman. Can you do that?"

Dean didn't know how but he found himself nodding. He follow Jey's deep breaths, nearing a state of being calmed down when his phone rang. His hands felt clumsy as he pulled it out of his pocket. For a moment his heart soared. Roman's number was on the screen. He immediately answered it, nearly ready to cry in relief. "Ro?"

The laughter on the other end sent all hope crashing out of him. "Not quite."

Harper. fucking Harper. Dean's face fell and Jey and Jimmy looked worried. "Where's Roman? Where's Seth? What did Bray do to them?"

"Bray? No no no no. Bray doesn't have a thing to do with this. This is me you're dealing with."

"Then what do YOU want?" Dean gripped his hair with his free hand. "Why are you doing this?"

"What I want is for you to come here. Alone. No police. No Usos. Nothing. You come to where I tell you and you come alone."

"Why?"

"Why? You want to know why? You should know why!"

"Well I don't!"

Harper groaned. "You took him from us. Poisoned him. So I now I took from you. And if you want to see them again, you'll come here alone, like I said. If the police come, I'll kill them before they even get me in cuffs. If the Usos come then I will string them up from the tree out back and give Roman their heads as an early Christmas present."

Dean swallowed hard. "H-how do I know you really have them? How do I know they're not like dead and you're tricking me?"

"Hold on a second." Dean heard a door open followed by the sound of Harper going down some stairs. "Boys! Say hello to the rat!"

"Dean no!" Roman's voice made Dean's heart jump. "Stay away he's fucking nuts! He-no no no GET AWAY FROM-"

Roman was cut off by a loud smack. Seth's scream of pain followed suit. Dean screamed too, the phone falling from his hand as panic raced through him all over again. Jey grabbed the phone and put it on speaker so he and Jimmy could hear. They stayed quiet, seemingly sensing that Harper didn't need to hear that they were that close by at the moment.

"Ambrose!" Harper's voice was sharp. It cut through Dean's panic like a knife. "Do you understand what I said?"

Dean forgot himself and just nodded. The silence was taken as him ignoring the question and Harper made Seth scream again. "Yes!" Dean wanted to jump through the phone and put himself over Seth. Anything to make the screaming stop. "Yes yes please just stop! Leave him alone!"

"There's a house about a mile outside of Spring Hill. It's up on a hill. Come here. Come alone. If the police come your boys die. If the Usos come then they die."

"Dean he'll kill you!" Roman's voice rang through again. "Dean just don't do it! Don't-"

Another hard smack was heard and Roman was silenced again. "One hour," Luke growled. "You got an hour to get here before I cut his fucking tongue out." And with that, he ended the call, leaving Dean, Jimmy and Jey to scramble to the car.


	18. Chapter 18

"Harper!" Bray pounded on the door as loud as he could as he yelled. "Rowan!" He pounded on the door harder. He knew they had to be here. Harper's truck was in the driveway. He could see the lights on through the windows. They were there and he wouldn't let them hide. "Harper! Rowan! Open this door!" His patience was starting to wear thin. If they didn't let him in soon he was just going to break in. "Boys!"

The door opened so suddenly that Bray nearly hit the figure on the other side of it. Rowan was the one who answered the door. He blinked in confusion at the sight of Bray, but didn't actually say anything. He knew better than to do it when Bray was irritated. He wasn't completely stupid like most people thought. He was simple yes. A child in a giant's body. But not a stupid child. He wisely stood back and let Bray step into the house. Bray handed him his lamb mask but didn't stick around to watch him put it on. Instead he kept walking, wanting to find Harper. He knew that whatever was going on here, it was Harper who was running the show. "Luke!"

Harper didn't answer him. A crash however, directed him where to go. Bray walked through the rest of the entrance hall and went through the door to the kitchen. What he found in there managed to catch him by surprise. Luke had Roman tied up now on one of the chairs with a dish rag stuff into his mouth to keep him quiet. There was no sight of Seth anywhere. Bray took another look around but still didn't see him. He wasn't even certain if he wanted to know what Harper had done to him. "Luke."

Both Luke's and Roman's heads snapped in his direction. Roman's eyes narrowed. He clearly thought Bray had something to do with this. Bray could understand why he would think so. He wasn't so concerned about convincing him otherwise. His attention was more zeroed in on Luke, whose eyes had narrowed at the sight of him. "How did you know?"

"I got to Dean's house before he did," Bray answered. "Found Erick's mask. Figured you'd use this place." He took a couple steps forward. "What exactly are you doing right now Luke?"

"Ending this." Harper was caught but not wavering. His eyes brimmed with conviction.

"Ending what exactly? I didn't think you had much of a quarrel with Roman and Seth."

Luke snorted. "You know this isn't about them." He pointed to Roman. "I could care less about him or the little weasel. I just needed to be sure the rat would come right to me."

Bray stiffened at those words. Dean. Of course Dean would come running. He always fell so easily into traps on his own. The fact that Luke had grabbed Roman and Seth only further guaranteed that Dean would go right into his hands. "You aren't touching a hair on his head," he growled. "You leave him alone."

"I can't."

"You will."

"No!" Luke's voice rose defiantly. His feet carried him forward, his expression twisting in anger. "I won't!" He grabbed the front of Bray's shirt and twisted the cotton in his fingers. "Look at what he's done to you!" He shook Bray with all the force he could muster. "He's made you weak! He's blinded you!" Every exclamation brought on a harder shake. Bray put his hands over Luke's, but didn't push him away yet. "He's taken you away from us! We need you, but all you care about is him!"

Bray wanted to deny it. He wanted to say that nothing had changed. But he couldn't. It would be a lie if he did. Dean had in fact consumed him. He had promised himself he would go home after the Main Event/Smackdown tapings, yet he had instead drove to Florida to rid himself of Seth and Roman once and for all just so he could try to make Dean completely his. And he couldn't say he was sorry for that. Not even for the sake of his own family. Maybe that made him an even bigger monster than he gave himself credit for being. But he couldn't bring himself to care. He loved his family, but at the end of the day, they were all just faceless, replaceable sheep. He could leave them all to burn and then go back out and get another hundred just like them. There would be no replacing Dean. Never. Dean was both the moth that he had to have for his fire but also the fire to the moth that lived inside of him. He would never be able to stay away from him. It was out of his control. He didn't know how to make Luke understand. There was no way he really could. When it came to Dean, Luke was a mad dog foaming at the mouth with hate. He would never even try to understand his need for Dean.

"I can save you." Luke let go of Bray's shirt and cupped his face in his hands. The conviction in his eyes had been replaced with desperation. "Let me save you."

Bray leaned forward and pressed his forehead to Luke's. Not since Abigail had anyone made that kind of offer to him. But he wasn't the lost soul he had been when he had met her. He wasn't the little boy searching for a love he had never known. He didn't need saved. Not from this. This was his fate. He accepted it. He wouldn't have it any other way. "You can have the brute and the weasel." He brought his hand up and gripped the back of Luke's head tightly. "Take your anger out on them. But Dean is mine. You leave him be."

Harper just stared at him. The emotion in his eyes evaporated at the order. Bray let him go and stepped back. He took Harper's silence as obedience. And that was fine and dandy, but now he needed to figure out a new plan. If he did anything to Seth and Roman now, then there would be absolutely no way Dean would buy it as an accident. Not with Harper blatantly revealing their kidnapping to him. But if he let them go, they would lie and say he had something to do with it. So what could he do? How could he win? He saw no way to. Luke and Erick had put him in an impossible spot. He wanted to strangle them but he had no time for it now. He had to focus. He had to think.

Luke's sudden cry barely reached Bray's ears before the blow came. The hammer that Bray hadn't noticed laying on the counter had been swung, connecting with the side of his head. He fell to the floor in a heap, too stunned to do anything but lay there. He could faintly feel blood trickling from the newly created wound. His vision went blurry and his stomach churned as the room spun. He had to get up. Had to do something. But his body felt too heavy to move. He could feel more blood. It was the only  
thing he could really feel through the fog he had fallen into.

"Get the door," Luke growled. "Don't give me that look! Just get the door!"

Bray heard the door open. He didn't know what door it was though. He forced himself to roll over on his stomach and tried to push himself up to his feet. He was almost up when a boot connected with his head. Hands grabbed him next, lifting him up off the ground.

"We can save him," Luke growled. It was hard to tell if he was really speaking to Erick or trying to convince himself of this. "He doesn't know what he's doing. He'll thank us later when we break the rat's spell."

Bray opened his mouth to say something but no words came out. He wasn't coherent enough for them. His eyes wandered, finally focusing on the door that had been opened. It was the door to the basement and that was where Seth was. He was stretched over it, made to stand with his hands nailed up above his head. His head was slumped forward, his chest rising and falling to indicate that he still lived. Roman could be heard struggling to get free. Bray tried to mirror his efforts, but they were in  
vain. Past Seth they went and then right down the stairs. Luke and Erick sat him down gently, Erick patting his head gently before being yanked away. Bray groaned, his head still spinning as he listened to them walk up the stairs. The door creaked as they shut it behind them, leaving him in complete and total darkness.

* * *

Every minute that passed felt like a life time. It never felt like they would get to the house. Dean sat in the back while Jimmy drove and Jey took the passenger's seat. He wanted to scream. To tell Jimmy to go faster. Time was running out. Harper would hurt Roman if they didn't get there soon. Who the fuck knew what else he would do to not only him but Seth as well. Dean had no idea how he was going to get them out of there. He had Jimmy and Jey, but Luke had made it quite clear what would happen to them if he saw them coming. Dean couldn't let that happen either. They said this was their fight because they were all family, blood or not. But Dean knew they didn't belong in this mess. If something happened to them it would destroy not only Roman, but their whole family. Dean wouldn't be able to live with that. Even if they refused to blame him, he wouldn't forgive himself. He would still feel responsible. All the therapy and logic that anyone could throw at him wouldn't be able to change his mind.

"We need some sort of plan," Jimmy said. Dean was sure this wasn't the first time he had said this, but it was the first time he found himself really capable of listening. "We can't just go charging in there."

"No shit," Jey agreed. "What do you even suggest bro?"

"Fuck if I know. I was hoping you had something."

"Why does it always have to be me?"

"You're the smarter one! I'm just here to look prettier."

"We're identical you idiot!"

Dean groaned. Bickering in the face of doom. That was great. Real great.

"We should just have the cops meet us there," Jimmy suggested.

Jey snorted loudly. "Even if they got there in time to help us, they never hold these mother fuckers for long. Bray got out when he tried to strangle Dean in front of an entire hospital. They just let the whole family waltz into the prison hospital and get Bray right out. Rowan tried to kill Dean and he got out. Like, we are literally just better off just saying fuck them and doing this shit ourselves."

Jimmy couldn't argue that. "So like, do we just kill them then? Because I've never killed anyone? I'm not like, opposed to it. Not with these damn Wyatts. But like, how would we do it? Shouldn't we have a gun? I feel like we should have a gun."

"We didn't have time to grab a gun. Maybe we could bash them over the head with something."

Dean couldn't listen to this. He didn't want them fighting Luke and Erick. Something would go wrong. No matter how careful they were, or how hard they fought, there was something that could go wrong. Something that could get them hurt. He had to stop it. He had to make it all stop. "Just worry about getting Seth and Roman." Speaking each word was a struggle. He was still fighting a sea of panic that wanted to swallow him whole again. "I'll distract Harper and Rowan."

"No way," Jey said immediately.

"Hell no," Jimmy agreed. "Roman will fucking kill us."

"It's the only way." Dean couldn't accept an argument. He had to be strong on this at least. "Harper and Rowan want me. I can keep them distracted and you get Roman and Seth out."

"And how exactly do you plan on doing that?" Jimmy asked.

Dean shrugged. He hadn't really thought that far ahead. He just knew that he needed to do it. "I could like, make them chase me or some shit. Or draw them in an ambush. I don't fucking know."

Jey turned around in his seat. "We can't have you do that."

"Do you have a better idea?" Dean didn't mean to snap. He really didn't. But he did and he couldn't stop now. "We don't even know if it's just Harper and Rowan we're dealing with. Bray is probably there. God knows if Harper called in any of the other members of that fucking family." He couldn't stop a shudder at that thought. God help them all if there was more than the usual three suspects. "Some sort of distraction is the way."

"Then I'll do it," Jey said. "You help Jimmy get Roman and Seth out."

Dean shook his head. "It has to be me. I'm the Wyatt magnet. I can get them after me and keep them after me."

"But-"

"Just help them and let me do this. You can come help me after." Dean gave Jey a pleading look. He needed Jey to understand that he had to do this. He had to do something useful. He couldn't just sit back and be a fucking damsel or whatever. He couldn't keep asking people to get him out of shit. He had to do the saving this time, even if it wasn't wise or it cost him his own well being. He had to at least fucking try.

A slow and reluctant look of understanding came from Jey. He nodded with a sigh before giving Jimmy a look that said not to argue. "How will we know you've got them distracted?"

"You'll know." Dean slumped back in his seat.

"How?"

Dean let out a humorless laugh. "Because there'll be a fuck of a lot of screaming."

* * *

They saw the house looming above them on the hill. Jimmy pulled off the road and parked in the field so they could run around to the back of it. Jey and Jimmy looked to just the back door, but another idea sprung to Dean's mind. He scaled the tree right by the house, shimmying his way across the branch that extended almost over the house. It felt so weird to be sneaking into a place as opposed to sneaking out like he had done so often in his life. A small jump got him to the roof. His feet nearly slipped out from under him after he landed, making his heart jump inside his chest. Even from the distance he swore he heard the Usos both inhale sharply as he moved to regain his balance. His fingers dug into the wood, splinters quickly finding their way under his bitten down nails. He carefully moved to the attic window and pushed it open. It wasn't the biggest opening, but it was just enough for him to slip into.

A musty, rotting smell assaulted Dean's nose the moment he entered the dark room. He gagged and slapped a hand over his nose and mouth. He blinked rapidly, trying to make himself adjust to the darkness. It felt even darker in here than it did outside. At least out there they had moon and stars and that kind of shit. Here there was nothing but ugly, dark doom.

Dean took a cautious step forward. His eyes adjusted fairly quickly, and now he looked for something to strike with. He couldn't go running around this place without anything. He looked all around, shivering as the wind picked up and blew into the room. He had to keep that and any other window he could get to open. Jimmy and Jey had to hear him start yelling somehow. Of course, there was the possibility they had already broken their promise and snuck in the house through the back door. Accepting that he wanted to do this portion of the plan and actually letting him go through with it now that they were in the heat of the moment. Fuck. He really needed to fucking hurry.

In the far right corner of the room he found an old golf club that was covered in cobwebs. He grabbed it, brushing it off and hoping he didn't touch a spider. The handle of the club felt good in his hands. His palms were sticky with sweat, but at least he had some source of power in his hands. He gave it a couple of practice swings before heading for the door. The floor creaked with every single step he took. The steps that led down to the floor before were even louder. Dean winced with each one, becoming more and more convinced that Harper and Rowan would hear him before he was ready and just swoop in to strike him down. But he made it down the stairs to find no crazed cult members waiting to kill him. A small sigh of relief escaped him. He had that going for him at least.

He crept down the hall, opening the windows and keeping the doors open so his future yells could travel. His heart pounded so hard inside his chest it made his ears throb. His palms got slicker and slicker with sweat. He couldn't hear Roman or Seth screaming, but that didn't mean Harper wouldn't do something soon or that he already hadn't done it. Images of just what the psychotic asshole could have done flashed in Dean's head. He whimpered and tried to shake them off. He couldn't think. He just had to act. He had to act now.

Dean's feet carried him out to the stop of the staircase. He tightened his grip on the golf club and raised it. With a roar he swung it, the end of it crashing into the wall. "HARPER!" He swung it back and hit the wall again. "SHEEP FUCKER!" BANG! Club connected with the wall again. "COME ON MOTHER FUCKERS!" He banged the club down against the steps next. "YOU WANT ME? COME GET ME!"

He heard them before he saw them. Big, lumbering footsteps that made Dean's heart jump in his throat. Rowan came first, being guided on the way by Harper. Dean stood frozen, chest heaving in panic before he finally forced his feet to move. He ran down the hall and ducked into the second to last bedroom on the left. He pressed himself against the wall right next to the open doorway, the club still raised in his hand. "Come on fuckers!" Fear made him sound like he was on the verge of tears. "COME ON!"

Rowan came in first. Dean swung blindly, clocking him in the face so hard it knocked the sheep mask right off him. He went down and Dean started to swing the club again. Harper caught it before it could strike his head as well. Dean's eyes widened. Fuck. He tried to yank it back. Harper let go as soon as he yanked, making him stumble back in surprise. The larger man immediately capitalized, pouncing on Dean and sending them both crashing to the floor. Harper's knee went into his stomach, driving all the air right out of him. His grip on the club loosened and Harper tossed it away before pinning Dean's hands down above his head and leering down at him with a sadistic grin.

"Gotcha."


	19. Chapter 19

BANG! "HARPER!" BANG! "SHEEP FUCKER!" BANG! "YOU WANT ME? COME GET ME!"

The commotion from upstairs nearly made Roman's eyes bug out of his head. Dean. Dean was here. Fuck. He hadn't wanted Dean to come. Things were bad enough as it was. He was trapped on this chair while Seth was literally nailed to the other side of the basement door. His stomach turned at that thought. He didn't want to think about how he had been forced to watch that. He didn't want to think about how Seth had screamed and pleaded for mercy. He didn't want to think about the pain Seth was surely in and he certainly didn't want to think about what Harper could have in store for Dean. He had to stop being useless and find a way to get out of this chair. He had to find a way to get Seth and Dean out of there.

Harper and Rowan stomped out of the room as soon as they heard Dean's voice. Roman shook his head, his protests muffled by the rag in his mouth. Dean couldn't be doing this. This was such a dumb idea. Dean couldn't take both Rowan and Harper. No way. But of course that was the plan Dean was trying to go with. Why wouldn't it be? Dean wasn't one to really think things out. He was impulsive. He was more apt to throw himself into the fire and have to fight his way out. It was admirable in a way, but not wise. It was going to get him killed.

Roman struggled harder against his restraints. His legs weren't much use but he could make up for it with his upper body. The chair rocked from the force of his struggles. The ropes burned his wrists but he didn't care. He had to save Dean. He had to save Seth. That was all he could think. His mind raced from his desperation. He could hear all kinds of thumping around upstairs and his heart kept sinking. Dean was going to get himself killed. Hell, they were all going to fucking die at this rate. Harper had gone off the fucking deep end. He had even attacked Bray, which was something he thought he would never see. He had thought that Bray had something to do with all this, but since he had seen the confrontation with his own eyes, he could actually believe that the patriarch of the Wyatt clan had been dumb to Harper and Rowan's plan. Not that it really mattered in the grand scheme of things. It didn't change anything that Bray had actually done in the past. The whole Wyatt clan could still go burn in hell in his book. And if he could ever fucking be useful, he would put the whole lot of them there himself.

"Uce! Uce! Chill man! We got you!"

Roman's eyes widened as he turned his head. Jimmy and Jey were slipping in through the back door, their eyes shining with relief at finding him alive. The relief couldn't be matched in his eyes. They looked interested in saving him, not understanding that he wasn't the one who mattered. He tried to jerk his head both to the basement door and the stairs. Seth and Dean had to come first. If they were okay he could deal with whatever happened to him.

"Jesus man." Jimmy got to Roman first. He pulled the rag out of his mouth while Jey started working on the ropes that kept him bound to the chair. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Roman spat out the second he was able to. He could still taste the rag that had been stuffed in his mouth and it wasn't the least bit pleasant. "Why the fuck did you let Dean go on his own?"

"He insisted," Jey answered. He got one of Roman's wrists untied and switched to working on the other. "We didn't exactly have time to come up with anything different."

That wasn't a good enough reason in Roman's book. "One of you get him and one of you get Seth." He hated giving the order. He wanted to do it himself. But not being alone brought back the realization that even with wanting to, his legs wouldn't necessarily even begin to cooperate with him. He needed the help whether he liked it or not.

"Dean says we got to get you and Seth out of here first," Jimmy argued. "He says he can keep them on the ropes long enough for us to do it."

"Dean believes in ghosts and thinks shots of tequila should be followed by shots of Jack Daniels. Do you think we should really trust his judgment?" Roman couldn't stop the panic from invading his voice. Why would anyone think that Dean making a plan was a good idea? Was he the only one around there with any kind of sense?

"Just let us-"

"NO!" Roman shoved Jimmy away with all the strength he could muster. "Seth and Dean! Get Seth and Dean!"

"Okay okay okay!" Jey held up his hands in surrender. "I'll help Dean. Jimmy will get Seth and then you. Just calm the fuck down."

This wasn't the time to be calm. Panicking actually felt like a pretty appropriate idea right now. "Seth's on the basement door." He swallowed hard and tried to force himself to stand. "Dean was upstairs. I can't hear him you gotta go Jey. You gotta go fucking get him please..."

"I'm going. I'm going I'm going." Jey moved, clerly torn between what Dean had made him agree to and what Roman was making him do.

"Ummmm...Roman?"

"What?" Roman nearly took Jimmy's head off with that one word.

"What did you mean Seth was _on_ the basement door?"

Oh yeah. He hadn't explained that one. "You'll see it." He couldn't bear to actually explain how it had been done. Seeing it had been enough for him. "Pick the lock and while I try to find the toolbox." He still hadn't managed to really stand yet, but he had to keep trying. His boys needed him. He had to be strong. He had to come through for them, one way or the other.

* * *

The bones in Dean's wrists felt like they were being crushed by the force of Luke's grip. He struggled against it, his mind swimming in panic. He was already losing. He couldn't lose. There hadn't been enough time for Jimmy and Jey to do anything. He had to fight. He shot his head forward, connecting it against Harper's nose as hard as he could manage. Adrenaline made the blow more effective than he ever expected. Harper's nose split open and blood went everywhere. His grip on Dean's wrists loosened and Dean managed to push him off. His own head hurt now, but there was no time to really care about that. The golf club. He had to find the golf club. He scrambled to his feet and rolled across the empty bed. He couldn't see it anywhere. "Fuck!" He grabbed the lamp on the bedside table instead. Harper was lunging at him while Erick was getting to his feet. Shit. Shit shit shit.

Dean swung the lamp towards Luke. He didn't get in as much force as he wanted, but it still connected with the larger man's head and momentarily stunned him. Dean went on the move, trying to slip past Rowan to get to the door. He thought he had made it when Erick's hand grabbed his ankle and tripped him up. He fell to the floor with a hard thud. His other foot immediately started kicking, connecting with Rowan's jaw to make him let go. He scrambled back up and burst from the room so he could run into the one across the hall. He still had no idea where Luke had thrown the golf club. He was still weaponless, which was going to fuck him over real quick if he didn't do something.

The stench in this room nearly made Dean throw up. He had missed this one when he had been opening windows before. It smelled like something (or someone even) had died in there a really long time ago and had just been left to rot. It was too late to turn back though. He could already hear Harper and Rowan coming. He looked around, desperate for anything he could use. There seemed to be nothing. The old sports posters that hung on the wall would be useless. A few broken toys were the same way. Dean nearly tripped over himself to look in the closet. A baseball bat was propped up in the corner. He grabbed it, his eyes catching sight of some sort of animal skull looking down at him on the shelf above his head. "What the..."

A large hand grabbed him by the back of the shirt and yanked him back violently. The bat slipped from his hands before he hit the floor. He rolled with his momentum and tried to get himself back up. A harsh kick to the ribs sent him back down. He yelped in pain. He could have sworn he felt something break from the blow. A hand grabbed him by the hair and yanked his head back violently. It was Harper. One hand kept a hold of Dean's hair while the other tried to shove the pointy end of a wicked looking knife right in his throat. Dean caught his wrist at the last minute, the blade barely grazing his skin. He pushed as hard as he could, his arms shaking from the sheer amount of force that he had to try to use. Luke was strong. Much stronger than him. He couldn't hold on like this forever. New plan. He needed a new plan.

"Grab him," Harper snarled at Rowan. "Do I have to fucking do everything here?"

Rowan said nothing. His mouth was bleeding from where Dean had kicked him. He moved to obey Harper's words, making Dean shake his head desperately. He couldn't let them team up on him. He'd be dead in seconds. He tried to push himself up to his feet. The hand on his hair helped to push him back down. The blade of the knife grazed his throat again. He was going to die. He was going to die right here and there was nothing he was going to be able to do about it.

No. No he couldn't do that. He couldn't let Luke win. Not now. Not ever. He ripped his head out of the larger man's hand, not caring if some of his hair came out in the process. His teeth found the back of Luke's hand and sank down into it. Luke howled and dropped the knife. Dean got his hand on it almost immediately. He drove it down into Rowan's foot as hard as he could. The howl Erick let out nearly made Dean's ears ring. He yanked the knife out and stood up. Everything was moving faster now. Panic kept fueling his movements. He lunged forward and buried the knife into Erick's chest. The blade sank right in, the blood pouring faster than he ever thought possible. Rowan dropped to his knees, his eyes filled with confusion. Dean gulped as he stared back at him. He didn't feel a rush of guilt course through him. Rowan had tried to murder him and had helped hurt Seth and Roman too many times for him to feel guilty. But there was a sense of wrongness to this. There was no immediate sense of satisfaction or relief. He didn't like the blood on his hands. He didn't like that this is where his life had gotten to. The violence, the chaos-there was no end to any of it. It wouldn't end until each and every single one of them were dead.

Luke's body hit him at full force. Spitting, snarling, roaring - the sounds he was making were practically in human. Fists flew, raining down on Dean faster than he could cover himself up. Dean could see Erick slump down to the floor, the knife still sticking out of his chest. He fucked up. He fucked so badly up. He tried to fight back. His fists and feet beat on Luke's body, but nothing seemed to do any good. Not with the fury he was in.

"Dean!" Jey's voice scared the shit out of him. "DEAN!"

Dean wanted to tell him to stay away. He was supposed to be helping to get Roman and Seth out, not helping him. But the words never got a chance to leave his mouth. Luke picked him up off the floor and flung him into the window with all the force he could muster. The glass broke and suddenly he was falling. His hands searched for purchase against the ledge but he didn't find it. Instead he kept falling, landing in a heap in the front yard. His arm got trapped underneath him and he heard the sickening snap as he landed. He screamed, his body immediately writhing in pain. He couldn't think. He couldn't move. He could barely breathe. He just laid there, still screaming as he clutched the broken limb to his chest.

_I fucked up. I fucked up I fucked up..._

* * *

_"NO!" Seth kicked and twisted violently against Harper's grip. The stab wound on his shoulder made the arm Rowan didn't_ _have raised up against the door useless. Rowan was holding him in place while Harper held the nail against his open palm. The hammer was up ready to come down any second. Seth couldn't even believe this was happening. This was sick. This was fucking horror movie shit. This couldn't happen. This couldn't happen he couldn't let it. "NO NO NO NO!"_

__"Keep him still," Harper growled at Rowan._ _

_"No no no no!" Seth shook his head desperately. He looked towards Roman, who was bound and gagged in the nearby chair. "Roman!" He knew it was useless to scream for his help. He couldn't do anything. But for Seth it was instinct. Roman was the protector. It felt like if anyone could suddenly burst out from that chair and regain the full use of his legs, it would be Roman. But that wasn't the reality of the situation. Roman was just as helpless as he was. Roman could only watch as Harper swung the hammer and drove the nail through Seth's hand._

_He had never screamed so hard in his life. He had never felt this sort of pain before. The nail had gone through his hand and went right into the door. He was pinned down and he couldn't even think to keep thrashing about. Moving made the pain even worse. "Please stop," he begged. "Please-" The rest was lost in a scream as his other arm was lifted above his head. The pain. It was too much. He couldn't have the other nail go in. He couldn't have it happen. "Please no no no please please..."_

Fresh pain woke Seth out of the stupor he had fallen into. He screamed, not as loud as before because his throat hurt too much now. One hand still was pinned above his head, leaving him in too much pain to thrash around. He could hear a voice talking to him. Strong. Soothing. Roman. The voice grounded him and made him see more clearly. Roman was standing now, leaning against the chair like it was a makeshift walker. Jimmy was there with the hammer, the back end of it being used to yank the nails out of his hands. He swallowed hard. The other nail still had to be pulled out. The arm with the injured shoulder remained pinned above his head and he didn't know if he could take a fresh wave of pain. He had felt too much already. He gave Roman a desperate look. He couldn't do it again. Roman had to understand.

"We got to get you out of here," Roman said gently. "Jimmy's got one more and then he's going to get you out of here."

Seth's mouth moved but no words came out. He didn't have the strength to ask about Dean or Roman himself. He saw Jimmy flash him an apologetic look before readying the hammer and pulling the other nail out. Seth screamed again, his legs giving out completely under him. He hit the floor ass first, tears streaming down his face as bile rose in the back of his throat.

"Come with us uce," Jimmy said to Roman as he carefully picked up Seth. "Jey will get Dean. Just come with us."

"Just get him out of here," Roman said stubbornly. "We'll find you."

Jimmy opened his mouth to object further, but Jey screaming Dean's name and the sound of breaking glass silenced him. Seth tried to pick his head up and figure out where the sound exactly came from. His world just spun though, forcing him to drop his head back. His vision faded in and out as Jimmy moved to the back door. By the time they stepped outside he was completely out, temporarily free from the pain racking his body.

* * *

Everything had gone to hell. It had gone so far to hell that Luke was nearly shaking in his fury. He had thrown Dean out the window and now he was rolling on the floor with Jey Uso, who had come on some misguided quest to come save Dean. But there would be no saving the little rat. The bastard had taken everything from him. He had poisoned Bray mind, body and soul. He had killed Erick. Luke didn't need to check for a pulse to know that Erick was gone. Dean had stabbed him right in the heart. There wasn't any coming back from that wound. And now he had to make sure there would be no coming back for Dean. This had to end. It had to end once and for all.  
Jey managed to get on top of him and bring down a fury of punches. Luke didn't let him keep the advantage for long. He got his foot under Jey's body and kicked him off. Jey went flying, his back smashing into the old dresser. This had been Luke's room once upon a time. The life he had lived here felt like it had belonged to someone else. He was so far removed from the boy who captured animals and spent hours skinning them while his foster parents fought downstairs. But maybe he could tap into that boy one more time. Just one more time so he could get the same joy in skinning Dean as he got skinning the dogs and cats and other things that happened to get in his way.

Luke's hand closed around the blade of the knife. He yanked it out of Erick, not getting a sound from the fallen man as he did so. Yeah. He was definitely gone. Sadness didn't fill him with that confirmation. No, just more fury. He gripped the knife more tightly as he roared and lunged at Jey. Jey was quick but Harper was still quicker. He drove the knife deep into Jey's neck. The way the blade sliced through the skin and muscle and bone and whatever felt good. It felt really good. He yanked the knife back out only to drive it back in again. And again. And again. He couldn't count how many times he did it. By the time he was done however, Jey's head was barely attached to his body. Luke let his arm drop, the knife still loosely gripped in his hands. He screamed triumphantly. This was good. But not good enough.

Luke pushed himself back up to his feet. He scooped Jey's lifeless body up in his arms and threw him over his shoulder. He could feel Jey's head flopping about against his back. It could fall off right then and there and he wouldn't care. He almost wished it would. He wanted Dean to see. He wanted him to see the wreckage he caused. Before he died he would know that every single thing that happened here tonight was his fault. And he would burn for it all.

* * *

Jimmy cursed as he tried to adjust his grip on Seth yet again. Seth was practically dead weight in his arms. He wanted to wake him up and make him start running, but he almost didn't think that would be any better. He had to just keep moving. Get Seth back to the car and drive back to the house so he could get Dean, Roman and Jey. He couldn't just wait for the three of them to come out on their own. He had to help. Had to do something. Even if he wasn't sure on exactly what to do, acting in some way would be better than sitting back and doing nothing.

His foot found a mole hole as his body kept trying to run. His knee twisted, something tearing and making him fall to the ground in a heap. He screamed, his weight crashing down on Seth and waking him up for the briefest of moments before he passed right back up. Jimmy let his grip on him go as he pulled his leg free from the hole. Fuck. The knee hadn't been in the best of shape for awhile, but he had never expected it to just blow out like this. He cursed and tried to take a deep breath to steady himself. He couldn't focus on his own pain. He had to get up. Get Seth to the car. Get the others from the house. That was more important than his damn knee.

He forced himself up, putting all his weight on his good leg. He carefully dragged Seth up next, this time putting him over his shoulder instead of carrying him bridal style. He gingerly began to move, his bad leg nearly buckling out on him. He yelped but forced himself to solider on. Save the others first and worry about his pain later. That was the only option he had. "Be okay you guys," he muttered under his breath. "Be okay. Just be okay..."

* * *

Dean kept clutching his arm to his chest as he stumbled for the front door. He couldn't bear to look at the odd angle that the limb was sticking out at. The pain brought tears to his eyes, but he stubbornly ignored them. He had to move. Harper was still in the house and he didn't know if the others had gotten out yet. He prayed that he didn't. He couldn't fight Luke with just one arm. He had done a terrible job with the two. Being down a limb was going to get him killed for real.

The front door swung open easily. Dean stepped inside, his eyes widening as he saw Roman trying to come for him. Roman had a chair which he tried to move like he would his walker. "Ro!" The larger's man name came off as a sob as he rushed forward. He wrapped his good arm around him and squeezed him tightly. "Oh god oh god oh god!"

"Dean!" Roman let the chair go to hug Dean back. His grip inadvertently caught Dean's broken arm, making him scream in pain. "What?" Roman let him go in a panic. "Wh-oh god!" His eyes widened as he fell on the broken arm. "Jesus!"

"Where's Seth?" Dean tried to just shake the pain off. His voice was shaky and weak; the pain didn't want to go no matter how hard he wiled it away. "Where is he?"

"Jimmy took him out of here." Roman brought a hand up to the back of Dean's neck. "Where's Jey?"

Dean shook his head. He had no idea. "I told him to get you out."

"And I told him to-NO!"

Dean's heart sank. The horrified look on Roman's face told the story. He turned around just in time to see Harper dump Jey's dead body on the ground. Harper's shirt was stained red with blood. The knife was still in his hand. His eyes were crazed, his lips twisted in a snarl. "No no no no..." Dean shook his head in denial. This had been what he had feared. This had been exactly what he had wanted to avoid. "No no no no..."

Harper snarled and lunged forward. Dean tried to grab Roman and make him run. He tried to get him back but there was no time. Harper was too quick. Roman was too unwilling to move. He just wasn't strong enough. Harper hit them full blast, the three of them crashing to the ground. Roman's hands snagged Harper's shirt and pulled him away from Dean. Dean landed on his broken arm, the pain nearly making him black out. His vision slowly returned, the pain still keeping him useless. He tried to push himself up to his feet, his eyes zeroed in the situation in front of him. Roman had managed to roll himself on top of Harper. His hands were around his throat, squeezing with every ounce of strength that he had. His fury was directed down at watching the life leave Harper's eyes. He didn't see Luke's hand reclaiming the knife. He didn't see Harper going for the kill.

"NO!" Dean dove to stop him. His body felt like it was moving in slow motion. "ROMAN!"

Everything but him seemed to move fast. Harper drove the knife in Roman's side, twisting it to make it go even deeper. Roman froze, a grunt leaving his mouth as he looked down at the wound in shock. Dean screamed. He fucking screamed so loud he took his own voice out. This wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening. Not to Roman. Not Roman. This was a nightmare. He had to wake up. He had to wake up this couldn't be happening. But it was. Harper yanked the knife out just to put the knife right back in. The blood. There was blood. Roman slid off Harper's body and collapsed on a heap in the floor. The blood. Dean couldn't stop staring at the blood.

"No no no no!" Dean barely noticed Luke rolling away from them. He threw himself over Roman's body, shaking his head desperately. "Ro stay with me! Stay with me please!"

Roman groaned, the words leaving his mouth incomprehensible. He put his hand around the knife still buried in him.

Dean swatted his hands away. He couldn't let him pull it out. That was bad. That would make it worse. "Roman stay with me," Dean pleased. "Oh god please don't die. I'm so sorry. Please don't die please please PLEASE!"

Roman groaned again. His chest rose and fell rapidly, his breaths frighteningly shallow. Dean didn't know what to do. He was afraid to put pressure on the wound in case he drove the knife in more. But he couldn't pull the knife out. He would bleed more. Maybe bleed out faster than Dean could stop it. He needed to call for help. He needed help. Roman needed help. "I'll get you help." He didn't even know if Roman could really hear him. "I'll get help just hang-"

A hand in his hair cut him off. The yelp of pain never fully left his mouth. The blade of a new knife pierced his stomach. The pain tore through him and he couldn't even scream. He just stared at Harper, his mouth moving wordlessly.

"Rat," Harper snarled. "Fucking die you fucking gutter rat.

* * *

"NO! ROMAN!"

Dean's scream woke Bray the rest of the way up. He had been laying there, half away and half unconscious, oblivious to everything that had been going on upstairs. It still hadn't sunk in that Harper had defied him. Luke had actually hurt him. It didn't feel real. But it was real. And now Luke was upstairs, ready and willing to hurt Dean. He couldn't let it happen.

He rolled to his stomach and pushed himself up to his feet. The room spun violently in the process. His stomach turned in on itself. His head. His head fucking hurt. His legs tried to buckle but he didn't let himself fall back down. He grabbed the wall for support and tried to shake it off. Focus. He couldn't be weak. Dean still needed him. He had to move.

Bray groaned and pushed himself off the wall. He stumbled for the stairs, his hand grabbing the railing so he could actually make the climb. He could still hear Dean's voice. Scared. Pleading. Roman. Something had happened to Roman. Bray couldn't find himself to feel sorry about that. But he still had to move. He had to get to Dean. He was nearly there. The basement door was still open. Seth was no longer on it. He could see that. Someone had freed him. Whoever it was hadn't noticed him. They had been too distracted.

"I'll get help just hang-" The rest of Dean's words were cut off with a choked off yelp. The sound chilled Bray to his bone. He heard Harper's voice, but he didn't catch what he actually said. He almost didn't want to know. Bray moved faster, fear making his strength come back. He made it up the stairs and was greeted by the sight he had been afraid of seeing. Harper stood over Dean, knife in hand. Dean's hand clutched his stomach. The other was useless, the arm sticking out at a terrible angle. Luke didn't look up to see Bray standing there. Instead his focus was down on Dean, his hand looking to bury the knife in him again.

"NO!" Bray didn't recognize the sound of his own voice as he charged. He couldn't think. Couldn't dare to breathe. He just threw himself into Harper, knocking the knife out of his hand in the process. They fell back, Bray's force giving them enough momentum to fall away from Dean. They rolled across the floor, each struggling for the advantage. Bray eventually made them stop, his knee pressed against Luke's throat. Luke thrashed wildly to get free but Bray's will was stronger. He pushed down with all his weight, his eyes blazing as he watched the life drain from Luke's face. The struggles slowed before finally stopping completely. The life was snuffed from his eyes. Bray held the pressure for a moment longer before letting go. He stared down at Harper's body, almost expecting him to pop back up to defy him again. But he didn't. He was truly dead. Bray swallowed hard before surveying the rest of the room. Dean was still laying there, whimpers of pain escaping him. Roman was on the ground too, though Bray couldn't tell if he was alive or dead. One of the Usos were not too far away. Bray couldn't tell which one it was (he never could) but from the way his head was hanging halfway off his body, he knew he was dead. Erick, Seth and the other Uso were nowhere in sight. Bray wasn't even sure if he wanted to know what had happened to them. "Fuck," he muttered under his breath. It was a crude expression but it was the only one he could even think to use as he crawled towards Dean. "Fuck fuck fuck fuck..." He swallowed hard, not liking the bloody mess Dean was before him. "Little lamb?" He crawled to right beside Dean, his hand immediately going to cover the stab wound. "Little lamb can you hear me?"

Dean just stared at him, his expression twisted in pain. "Bray?"

"I'm here darlin. I'm here." Bray gently pressed down on his stomach, trying to put pressure on to stop the bleeding.

"He...it hurts..." Dean's voice cracked as he spoke. He sounded so lost. So helpless. "I'm dying."

"No." Bray shook his head. "You're not. I'm not going to let you." He carefully scooped Dean into his arms and stood up. Dean cried out in pain and tried to twist away. "Little lamb no. Let me help you."

"Roman," Dean whined. "Roman needs help he's...he's.."

"I think he's gone darlin." Bray didn't know that for sure. He wasn't stopping to take Roman's pulse. The brute didn't look good at all though; if he wasn't actually dead now, he would be relatively soon. "I can still save you."

"No." Dean tried to fight him off. "No no help Roman." He had no strength to get away. All he could really do was squirm and whine as Bray stumbled for the door. "Please don't let him die. Please please please don't let him die please..."

"I'm not leaving you to bleed to death on me just to go back for him. I'm saving _you_."

"No! Roman! Go back! Go back just let me go please..."

"Little lamb stop."

"Go back please..."

"It's too late. He's gone." Bray didn't like saying this. Not when he didn't know for sure. But the potential lie had to be told. Dean wouldn't stop trying to get away from him if he didn't. He could worry about the actual truth later.

The sob that came out of Dean almost made Bray wish he hadn't said that. He buried his face against Bray's shirt, screaming incoherently. Bray tightened his grip on him and moved out the door. He had to find help. He couldn't lose Dean. He could lose Luke and even Erick if that happened to, but he refused to lose Dean. Not now, not ever again.

 


	20. Chapter 20

Something was wrong. Jimmy could feel it in the pit of his stomach. Not that anything was really right about this whole situation. But there had been a moment when he had still been trying to get Seth to the car that he felt time stop. His stomach had dropped and he had fallen, panic rising in his chest and making it impossible to breathe. Something was wrong. Really really wrong. More wrong than before. He had tried to shake it off. He had made himself get back up and move once again. It wasn't any help to let himself get crippled by fear. But even when he got to the car, the feeling wouldn't leave him. He shouldn't have left Jey alone in the house. Or Roman. Or even Dean. He should have made them all get out together. Splitting up had been a dumb plan. Why had they even gone along with it? It never worked out well. They had all seen enough horror movies to know tht was just dumb as shit.

He dumped Seth into the backseat before getting behind the wheel of the car. His hands shook as he tried to dig the keys out of his pocket. His fingers felt too large and clumsy to be any real use. The pain in his knee spread through his whole leg, making it that much harder to concentrate. "Fucking damn it," he growled as he almost dropped the keys. He had to focus. He couldn't keep just failing like this. The others didn't seem to be coming. Something had definitely gone wrong. He needed to get back there to do something. Granted, he wasn't really sure what he could do with only one good leg. But he had to at least try.

He drove right up to the house, barely noticing that there wasn't a car in the driveway. He barely had it in park before he was getting out of the car. He left the keys in the car and pulled out his cell phone as he limped to the front door. He knew what they had said before about cops, but now he couldn't bring himself to care. They needed help. Serious fucking help.

"911, what is your emergency?" a lady asked flatly.

"We..we need help." Jimmy swallowed hard as he carefully moved up the porch steps. He could see broken glass all over the front yard. "We were attacked. We need help." There was no time to fully explain the situation. "We need help we're hurt."

"Can you tell me where you are?"

"Um...fuck." Jimmy looked at the number on the house. "1310...ummm...I think there was a road said James Drive. I don't fucking know." He grabbed the doorknob and turned it. "I don't fucking know. We just need help please..."

"How many of them are there? Do you know where they are now?"

"Three. And no." Jimmy pushed the door open, giving the car one last look before stepping inside. He hoped that none of the Wyatts would come to the car to get at him. "I don't fucking know where they're at. We just need help. We're hurt. We're..."

"Sir?" the lady said as Jimmy's voice died. "Sir? Talk to me."

Jimmy couldn't say a word. The phone slipped out of his hand as he stared at the scene in front of him. There was carnage everywhere. Luke laid off in the distance, unmoving but not a bloody mess. Roman laid a bit closer, curled up on his side, blood soaking through his shirt. If they had been the only two in sight, Jimmy would have ran to Roman to check if he was breathing. But they weren't. Jimmy's eyes zeroed in on Jey, who laid lifeless just a short couple feet away from him. His breath caught in his throat and time felt like it had stopped. He blinked several times, trying to deny what he was seeing. But it was real. It was too real. Jey's body was right there on the floor, his head barely attached to his own body.

"No." Jimmy shook his head. "No no no no no no..." He lost track of how many times he said the word. He dropped to his knees and crawled to his brother's body. The lady still on the phone and even Roman stopped mattering to him. This was Jey. His twin. His other half. He couldn't breathe. His mind couldn't process Jey being gone. He and Jey hadn't been able to handle living separately when they had been kids. How could he live the rest of his life without him? He couldn't imagine it. Not with the pain that spread through his whole chest. It was worse than his now torn up knee. The knee would heal. His heart wouldn't.

"Come back," he begged as he pulled his brother's body on to his lap. "Come back." He held it tightly, being extra careful with his head so it wouldn't actually come off. "Come back. Come back." He wasn't aware that he had started crying. He wasn't aware that his words were unintelligible to anyone else's ears because he was sobbing so hard. All he was aware of at this point were Jey's dead, glassy eyes. "Come back. Come back come back come back..."

* * *

Bray found two hospitals in rather close proximity of each other when he got Dean into town. The first was St. Jude's, which he found himself going past because a tow truck that was trying to get a broken down car hooked up to it was blocking the way. Bray wanted to absolutely strangle the driver, but kept driving instead. Mercy Hospital wasn't even a half mile down the road. He whipped into the turn, ignoring that the light for it had been red. There wasn't any traffic anyway, so he didn't see the need to wait. He pulled right up to the door, not giving a shit if that was where an ambulance parked. Fuck them. They could tow it if they had a problem with it. He had to get Dean inside. The dirty blond was slumped over in the passenger seat, still bleeding and now unconscious. Bray wasn't entirely sure if he passed out from the blood or passed out from exhaustion. He had kept trying to throw a fit about Roman and then Seth, begging him to help them. Begging him to not let them die because of him. He was already guilt tripping himself, which was not something Bray would forget. It was something to explore later though. For now he just scooped Dean up and took him out of the car, kissing the side of his head before heading inside.

"We need help!" He spoke in nearly a growl, not wanting to leave any potential room for argument. "Somebody NOW!"

The two people sitting on the waiting room chairs jumped at the sound of his voice. The lady at the desk quickly stood up, pressing a button to send a signal that they need a gurney. "What happened?" she asked.

"Impaled. Broken arm." Bray didn't even look at her. His eyes focused on the doctors and nurses coming with the gurney. "Found him like this in the backyard." Yes he was lying. He knew he had to. For all he knew, Seth and Jimmy were still alive and would eventually call the cops to the bloody scene at Luke's old house. He had to try to make it seem that neither he or Dean were in any way connected to that. If a connection was figured out they would take Dean away. And he couldn't allow that. "I left him alone while I went to get groceries. He was fucking around on the back porch trying to fix the railing. It's been shaky for ages and he always fancied himself a repairman." The lies were just coming too easy as he put Dean on the gurney. "When I came home I couldn't find him. I finally looked in the backyard. He was laying there, bleeding and clutching his arm. The railing gave way and he stabbed himself with his own screwdriver when he fell. Idiot pulled it out too before I got there." It felt like an unnecessary long story even to his ears, but he couldn't say Dean was mugged. A mugging story would bring cops. Even with a separate story than a house of horrors, bringing the cops in would make it that much sooner that someone would figure out he was lying.

Nobody questioned his story. They had no reason to. Instead they just wheeled Dean beyond the swinging double doors to start working on him. Bray wanted to go with him. He wanted to be right by his side. But he knew he couldn't be. They would fight him and he wanted their focus to be completely on Dean. If he didn't make it...well, there would be no power on this planet that would be able to keep them safe from his wrath.

"What's his name?" the woman from the desk asked. She had grabbed a clipboard and was looking to Bray for more information.

"Jon Moxley." Bray didn't even think before answering.

"Blood type?"

"A positive."

"Allergies?"

"None that are medical. Not unless you're gonna pump cinnamon into his veins."

There were more questions and Bray answered them, though his brain was on such an auto pilot that he really didn't give a shit about what he said. All he could think about was Dean. Worst case scenarios kept playing themselves over and over in his head. He tried to shake them off. He couldn't let panic consume him. Dean would live. He had to. Physically he was one of the most resilient men Bray had ever met in his life. He could physically survive this. Bray just wasn't sure what kind of reaction he was going to have when he woke up. The stuff at the house had been gruesome and surely traumatizing. Dean would blame himself for it all. That Bray did know. His mind would twist and turn everything so he could have the guilt crashing down on him. It really wasn't his fault. Luke had done it because of him yes, but Luke had clearly lost his mind. But letting him think that he was to blame was an avenue Bray felt like he should leave open. He knew that Dean turned back to him because he didn't feel like he deserved better. He knew that any feelings Dean had for him were second to the thought that their relationship was a punishment. Damnation for a man who had been cast to the wolves his whole life. It wasn't exactly a flattering thing to know, but Bray could live with it. It could even work to his advantage if he played his cards right.

He fought off the urge to smile to himself and sat down. His shirt was still wet from Dean's blood. He rubbed his thumb in it absently, letting the feel of it comfort him. It wasn't as good as having Dean actually in his arms, but it would due for now.

* * *

Flashing red lights and muffled voices brought Seth back to consciousness. He blinked several times, his brain fuzzy and body aching terribly. Where was he? He looked around, frowning at the scene. The last thing he remembered was Jimmy and Roman helping him off the door. They had been in the house then. When had they gotten in a car? Why weren't they in there with him? As far as he could tell, he was alone. Why would they leave him? Were they getting Dean? Had they stopped for gas? Why weren't they moving? "Guys?" his voice was more of a low groan. "Guys?" He forced himself to move away from the window. His shoulder Harper stabbed hurt so bad. He couldn't even really move his arm. His hands were just as useless. He merely tried to clench them as a test and nearly cried. "Guys!" He tried to blink the tears away. "Guys!" He didn't even think they could hear him. He was literally talking to fucking nobody. "Guys where are you? Can we go to the hospital please? Guys..."

He turned his head to look out the window. The car wasn't parked in front of a gas station. They were in front of a house. Probably _the_ house actually. Police cars and ambulances had swarmed the area. EMTs were coming out of the house, pushing a stretcher with a black body bag on it. Even from the car he could hear screaming. Fuck. That wasn't good. He fumbled for the door handle, crying out in pain as he tried to open it. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. "HELP!" He banged his head against the window, not knowing what else to use. "HELP!"

The door opened and he nearly tumbled out of it. "Jesus!" the officer cursed as he just managed to catch Seth. "We need some help over here too!"

Seth groaned, his head spinning as he was set down on the ground. Even with the people now surrounding him, he could see the open front door. Police officers were dragging Jimmy out of the house. At first Seth thought they were trying to arrest him. He opened his mouth to protest when one of the female officers grabbed the distraught man's head and turned it so he couldn't look at the gurney anymore. Seth's eyes went to it. A cold realization hit him. Jimmy would only be reacting this way for one reason. Jey was in there. Jey was dead. Seth tried to shake it off but he couldn't. It was the only thing that made sense. His heart sank down into his stomach. If Jey was gone who else had died? "Roman," his voice cracked as he tried to speak. "Dean." He struggled to slap the hands trying to help him away. He didn't want them. He wanted Roman and Dean. "Roman! Dean!"

"Sir, please relax," the red headed EMT said. "We need to help you."

"Fuck off," he growled, He squirmed and swung his good arm, tears of desperation burning his eyes. Where were Roman and Dean? Had they been killed like Jey? What had happened with the Wyatts? What the fuck had he missed when he had been out. "ROMAN! DEAN!"

The next stretcher came out. There wasn't a body bag on this one. Seth still felt his heart stop at the figure laying on it. It was Roman. "NO!"

"Sir!" the red head tried again.

"FUCK YOU!" Seth somehow managed to push himself to his feet and lunged forward. Pure will made him have enough energy to dodge everyone that tried to grab him. He nearly crashed into the stretcher, sobbing as he looked down at the state of one of his boyfriends. Roman's shirt was stained with blood. He had an oxygen mask over his face, but even with that, his chest didn't seem like it was rising and falling with breath. "No no no." Seth shook his head. "Oh no no no. Don't die. Please don't die. Please please please don't die..."

The officer who had gotten Seth out of the car pulled him back. "We're taking him and your other friend to St. Jude's." He tried to keep his voice as comforting as possible. It wasn't doing much good, but points could be given for the effort. "He can still make it."

Seth could barely process the words. His heart ached to go with Roman, but he still needed to find Dean. If Jimmy and Jey had come here then Dean had as well. There was no way he hadn't. "Dean." He tried to swallow down the lump in his throat as he looked towards the house. "Dean. Where's Dean?"

"Who's Dean?" The officer waved off the EMTs for the time being as he asked the question. "What does he look like?"

"Blond." Seth had seen Dean's face over a thousand times in the past few years, yet he was blanking on how to even describe him. "Little taller than me. He..." Seth's face trailed off as he turned to actually look at the officer. "What?"

"There's no blond in the house," the officer told him. "The only other two we found were a bald guy with a read beard and dark haired guy in a really dirty tank top."

Rowan. Harper. No Bray. No Dean. Seth's heart sank out from its previous low of his stomach and crashed somewhere down by his feet. Bray had Dean again. That was the only scenario Seth could possibly see. "No no oh no..." He dropped down to his knees, the world around them falling away. It was too much. After everything they had been through, after everything they had tried to gain, they had lost it all tonight. Jey was dead. Jimmy would never recover from that. Roman was dying. Even if he survived it would set his recovery back a long ways. And Dean was back in the arms of the man who was surely laughing at the carnage. It made him sick. It made him want to scream. Bray could have taken Dean anywhere. He could be doing anything to him. He could be undoing all the work they had put into fixing the damage he had caused before. And there was no way they could make a grand rescue. Not any time soon. Roman was fighting for his life and he was just too weak. Now he was just collapsing down on his side, paramedics surrounding him as he stared off into nothing. _Dean...oh god Dean..._

* * *

Dean's entire body felt heavy. Everything from his hair, his eyelids, his arms, fingers, stomach, legs, toes...all of it was just too heavy. Even his brain felt too heavy. He slowly opened his eyes with a groan. He wasn't in pain at least. That was something. But the heaviness made him feel uncomfortable. The bright fluorescent lights weren't helping anything either. They made his eyes ache and blurred his vision. Fuck. Hospital. He had to be in a hospital. Only a hospital had lights this awful. He groaned again. He could feel the reason as to why he was here looming in the back of his brain. It hadn't hit him full force yet. His head was still fucked up from the combination of being unconscious and the morphine that had been pumped into him. He whimpered and forced himself to look around. The room looked just like all the other hospital rooms that he had ever been in. It amazed him how they never fucking changed, no matter where he went. He looked down at himself, seeing that the had an IV sticking in one arm and there was a cast on his other one. A hand that wasn't his rested on his stomach. Dean turned his head and found Bray laying by his side. There was no way he should have been on the bed with him, yet there he was. Their eyes locked and suddenly the weight of everything hit Dean full force. He had fucked everything up. He fucked it up so bad. Killing Rowan had meant nothing. Harper's wrath had destroyed everything. He had killed Jey. Roman was probably dead now. Who even knew where Seth or Jimmy were. Roman had said they had gotten out, but that didn't answer the question of where they were now. Had they come back and seen what had happened? Dean's heart ached at the very thought. The two people that mattered most to them had been ripped away from them. Because of him. All because of him.

"I'd ask you how you're feeling, but I think I know the answer." Bray brought his hand up and gently ran his fingers over Dean's face. "We're not going to stay here long. I don't like this place any better than you do."

"Where's...you left Roman." Dean hated how he couldn't even sound angry as he pointed that out. He wanted to be angry at Bray. Furious at him. But this wasn't Bray's fault. It was his fault. Something about him had driven Bray mad with obsession. In turn, Harper had been driven mad. This was all because of him. He had all but put the knife in Roman's stomach. He had all but mauled Jey to death.

"He was further gone than you were." Bray kept moving his fingers over Dean's face. "I wasn't going to lose you just so I could fail to save him."

Dean looked away. He wished he hadn't been saved. He wished he had died too. It was what he deserved. But maybe that was too merciful. Maybe this is what he actually deserved. He deserved to live so he could suffer.

"I've checked around to see if he was brought in after we got here." Bray's fingers stopped against Dean's cheek. "He wasn't."

Dean's vision blurred again, this time with tears. Roman was gone. Roman was gone forever. Because of him. That fact kept coming back to throw itself in his face.

"I haven't seen Seth either." Bray moved his fingers off Dean's face so he could rest his hand back over his stomach. "Luke had him crucified to the door last I saw of him."

That wasn't a fucking image Dean needed in his head. He tried to shake it off, but he couldn't. He saw Seth on that door, hanging there in agony. How long had he suffered? What else had he gone through? Dean had zeroed in so much on Seth hating him now because Roman was dead that he hadn't even considered Seth blaming him for what he had suffered himself. He bit down on his lower lip. His heart felt like it had been smashed into a million little pieces. Seth wasn't here. Seth wasn't coming. That was what his brain kept telling him. There was no stopping this train of thought now. Seth had been hurt because of him. Roman was dead because of him. Jey was dead because of him. It was all his fault. It was all his fucking fault.

Once the first sob left him that was it. It opened the floodgates. His body shook as he cried, no relief coming from getting it out. He wanted to die. Maybe he deserved to suffer, but he really just wanted to die. The guilt was too much. The pain was too much.

"Sssshhhhhh." Bray put a hand over Dean's mouth to quiet him down. He kissed Dean's ear gently. "Shush now little lamb. I didn't exactly tell these people the truth. We don't have a good reason for them to walk in and find you like this."

Dean still couldn't stop. The tears burned as they streamed down his face. He reached up and tried to push Bray's hand harder against his mouth. He wanted to be suffocated. He wanted Bray to do him in. He could try to strangle him again. Or burn him alive. Fucking anything.

Much to his disappointment though, Bray moved his hand away. His thumbs brushed under Dean's eyes, wiping some of the tears away. Dean couldn't keep eye contact with him. He didn't even feel worthy of having Bray by his side. He had fucking killed Rowan. Actually fucking killed him. He didn't think Bray knew that. He didn't even know if he wanted to tell him. But he needed to. He could complete his pattern and make every last person in his life hate him. "Erick's dead."

"I figured as much."

"I killed him."

"And?" Bray propped himself up on an elbow and shrugged.

"You...you...he's your family."

"I got more family. I have one you." Bray said this like it was the simplest thing in the world. And maybe to him it was. "I told you a long time ago that I wasn't ever going to let you go." His hand came back up so his fingers could trace Dean's face again. "And I won't. I can't. You're mine." He ran his thumb over Dean's lips. "They'll blame you for what happened. Everyone knows Harper hated you. They'll know why he did it all. And they'll put the blood on your hands. They'll find Jimmy and Seth and shower them with sympathy and love while readying themselves to cast you out on your head." He shook his head. "Jimmy will be quick to believe it. He wasn't as eager to help you when Jey was alive. Now that his brother his gone he'll wither away. And once he's gone they'll put his blood on your hands too." His thumbs brushed back under Dean's eyes to catch more tears. "And Seth? Maybe he would try to pretend he doesn't blame you. But with no Roman you two have no stabilizing force. You two had your share of troubles before he entered the picture. Having him ripped away will eat at Seth's heart and soul. I mean, let's be real: he left you for Roman before. His heart truly belonged to the brute. They just picked you back up and put you back in the picture when they saw that I had you. They pitied you. And look where it got them."

There was nothing Dean could say to those words. He just listened, accepting the words as fact. Bray saw the acceptance in his eyes and took pity on him. No more words were said. He pushed Dean's head into his chest, letting him bury his face into the black cotton of his shirt. He still wanted to scream. He still wanted to cry. But now he couldn't. Numbness took over. His sharp internal pain became a constant dull throbbing.

_I'm sorry._ He couldn't even move his mouth to say the words. They just repeated themselves in his brain instead. _I'm sorry oh god I'm sorry please..._


	21. Chapter 21

They couldn't stay put. That was the recurring thought in Bray's head as he laid in the bed with Dean. Time was ticking by and he knew they couldn't afford to stay there much longer. Even with the cover story in place, he knew it was only a matter of time before someone came poking their noses in where it didn't belong. Seth would surely tell the cops to come look for him. Not out of real concern for Dean. He would blame Dean for whatever state Roman was truly in, whether he admitted to it or not. But Bray knew he would send the cops after him out of spite. And if the cops came, they would take Dean away. There was no doubt about that in Bray's mind. He couldn't let that happen. But there was a part of him afraid to make Dean move. He wasn't in any real shape to be running around. Not with all the stitches in his stomach. Maybe Bray could carry him out. There was a window in the room. He could pick Dean up and slip them out of that window. He could carry him to where the truck was and just drive off. He hadn't figured out exactly where they would go. The compound was an option, but not the most appealing one. Leaving his family completely would be cruel. They needed him. They would be lost without him. But the selfish part of him simply didn't want to take time away from Dean to handle them. Now that he had him, he wanted only him. But a lack of options made the new compound the only viable choice. They could hide there, sheltered and protected by the sheep in his flock.

He let out a long sigh and rubbed his hands over his face. If they went to the compound he would have to find a whole new lie to explain why Erick and Luke weren't coming back. His family had no way to access the truth, but he would still have to come up with something. And what if the others became poisoned like Luke had? Getting past Luke had been one thing. If they all turned against him and tried to get rid of Dean, he didn't think he could get Dean out of there alive. He couldn't take the risk. There had to be another place that they could go. He just had to think of it.

A whimper caught Bray's attention. He looked down to see that Dean's expression was contorted. He couldn't sleep peacefully. Nightmares were clearly plaguing him already. Not surprising. Bray knew they would be happening for a long, long time. Bray watched him carefully, contemplating his next move. It would be more merciful to try to wake him up now. If he didn't Dean would surely wake up screaming. It would bring the attention of the nurses which didn't serve him at all. He didn't want them around. Not when he had things to plan. But if he woke him up he wouldn't get any planning done then either. His attention would go completely on to Dean. He couldn't help it. He was a complete and utter slave to him.

More whimpers escaped Dean. Bray readied himself for the screaming. But it didn't come. Not yet. Dean quieted back down, his face still twisted in a grimace. The screaming would come, but just not now. Bray still had time. He placed a quick kiss to the top of Dean's head before carefully getting up off the bed. He didn't want to leave him there. Not in the very least. But it had to be done. He had to find Dean clothes to change into. There had to be something in this place that would be suitable. He just hoped he found it before the nightmares actually did wake Dean.

The halls of the hospital were quiet. It was late. Very late. It was as late as it could be before it switched to be considered the very early morning hours. Bray moved quickly and silently, just wanting this done. He kept his eyes constantly moving, trying to seek out a man at least somewhat similar to Dean's size. This wasn't a real opportune time for this kind of hunt, but waiting until a busier hour meant it would be that much harder to slip away unnoticed. He had to somehow make due now.

"Have you checked on room 314 yet?"

Bray quickly stepped into the shadows, just barely avoiding the two nurses turning the corner. One was a middle aged blonde with glasses and a rather prominent mole right below her left eye. The other was a younger brunette, her body so petite she was all but swimming in her uniform. The blonde was the one who had spoken. Her beady eyes were narrowed at the brunette, who simply rolled hers in return.

"Yeah. I peeked in awhile ago. The patient was sleeping and so was that guy with him." The brunette sighed dreamily. "It's a shame he plays for that team. He's quite the looker."

Bray wasn't shocked to hear that. Dean was a magnet for women, even without trying.

"I don't trust that man of his." Lamenting Dean's sexual preferences wasn't something the blonde was interested in. "You heard the story of what supposedly happened?"

"Mr. Moxley fell off the back porch and stabbed himself with a screwdriver?" The brunette frowned. "What's wrong with that story?"

"Don't add up to me." The blonde was practically within Bray's reach. Only extreme will power kept him from grabbing her by the hair and shutting her up for good. "The wound's too big to be a simple screwdriver."

The brunette just gave her a skeptical look. "Then what made it then?"

"I don't know. Maybe a knife."

"A knife? Are you...are you thinking this is a domestic violence thing?"

"Yeah. Actually I am. There's something not right about that man with him. I'm telling you that right now."

Bray didn't want to hear anymore. He tuned them out, waiting until they were completely past him before emerging to move once again. He definitely needed to get Dean out of there now. If the woman voiced these thoughts to too many people there would be trouble. If anyone else that Bray didn't know about shared these thoughts there would be trouble. There was no choice but to go.

A janitor slipping into one of the bathrooms to clean it caught Bray's eye. He would do. Bray took a quick look around before slipping into the bathroom after him. The man had earbuds in, his I-pod blaring music. Bray couldn't tell what kind it was. He didn't care. He was just thankful for it. It allowed him to swoop in and crash his fist into the back of the man's head and neck. The man tumbled to the ground with a thud. Bray quickly hit him again, not letting him get a second to regain his bearings. The man slumped down into complete unconsciousness. Bray let out a breath before back tracking to lock the door. His mind was already working several steps ahead of his body. Strip the man of his clothes and keep him hidden here in the bathroom. Get back to Dean's room without being seen. Get him up and dressed and then out the window. Carry him to the car. Drive away. He could figure out a safe place for them on the road. Getting out of here first was just more important.

* * *

_The muscles in Dean's legs were on fire. Every step that he kept trying to take was agony. Tears burned his face as they fell. He wanted to stop. His legs wouldn't last much longer. But he couldn't stop. The terror rolling in the pit of his stomach wouldn't allow him to. Instead he kept running, going until his legs finally went out and he collapsed in a heap. Pain shot through his whole body as he hit the ground. He couldn't tell where he was. It was too dark to really see. The ground under him was dirt. He could feel that on the palms of his hands. He tried to push himself up. He made it halfway before his legs gave out again. He cried out as his body hit the ground once more. Fuck. He nearly sobbed in frustration. He had to go. Had to move. Had to run._

__Hands shot up out of the ground and grabbed at his arms and legs. He screamed and tried to pull himself free. It was to no avail. The hands gripped him tight and tried to pull them right down with them. "NO NO NO!" He shook his head desperately as he kept trying to fight. "LET ME GO! LET GO!"_ _

_"You gotta burn Dean. You gotta pay for what you did."_

_Seth's voice made Dean's heart freeze in his chest. He looked up to see the two toned man standing just a few feet away from him. A bloodied and disemboweled Roman laid by his feet. Jey's head was tucked under his arm. In the tree right behind him hung Jimmy's lifeless body. Dean felt bile rise in the back of his throat. No. He couldn't handle this. Not this._

_"Look at what you did." Seth's eyes narrowed angrily. "Look at what you fucking did."_

_"I'm sorry." Dean's voice cracked as the tears fell more freely. "Seth I'm sorry please..."_

_"Please what?" Seth's voice was ugly. His expression was ugly. It was vile and full of hate and it hurt so bad even though Dean knew he deserved it. "You did this. You can't take it back. You killed them." He gestured to the carnage around him. "You killed them all. And now they burn instead of you."_

_Dean shook his head. "No..."_

_"It's your fault."_

_"Seth please..."_

_"We should have let him have you to begin with." Seth kicked dirt towards Dean's face. "We could have saved ourselves. Yet we didn't. We felt sorry for you. And look what it fucking got us." He laughed bitterly. "We're all dead and you're back with him. Everything we did was for nothing." He kept laughing. "I don't know why we expected different. You're nothing. Always have been. Fucking piece of gutter trash. You ruin everything good you try to touch."_

_Dean sobbed at the words. The fight against the hands was sapped right out of him. this was his fault. It was all his fault._

"I'm sorry." His own broken apology was what Dean woke up to. His head shook as tears streamed down his face. "i'm sorry. Oh god..."

"Sssshhhhh." Bray's large hand covered his mouth to quiet him down. "That's enough little lamb."

Dean just stared at the larger man. The obsessive adoration in Bray's eyes. He didn't even deserve that. Not in the slightest. But he knew he couldn't ask Bray not to give it to him. Bray was too far gone. He had poisoned the man. He was poison for a guy like Bray Wyatt, which was a sobering realization to just how awful he really was.

"We got to go." Bray held up some clothing. "I'll help you dress."

Dean swallowed hard. He in no way felt like going anywhere. The morphine had worn off, leaving him in quite a bit of pain. But there was just no energy to argue. Bray was all he had left. He was the only one who wouldn't wash his hands of him. As much as he didn't even think he deserved it, he desperately wanted to keep his love and approval now. It was selfish of him, but he couldn't help it. He was selfish and pathetic. He was a fuck up who ruined everything and he fucking hated himself.

"Come here." Bray carefully got Dean up to his feet. Dean's legs shook underneath him, but Bray didn't let him fall. The attempts to dress him were awkward at best. Dean was no real help in the matter. But Bray managed to get him changed anyway. The shirt was a button up one, so it at least didn't require him to lift his arms above his head. The whole getup looked like a janitor's...Dean had a feeling that it really was. He could imagine what Bray had done to get it. He didn't ask for confirmation. He didn't want to truly know.

Bray picked him up wedding carry style, his lips finding the side of Dean's head. "You're being such a good little lamb," he cooed. He kissed Dean's head again. "Just keep being good for me. I'm going to take you somewhere safe."

Dean had no idea where that could possibly be. He didn't make an effort to ask. Instead he just dropped his head against Bray's shoulder. He didn't look up to see it but he knew Bray was smiling. There was no reason for him not to be. He had won. Dean was his. He couldn't fight. He couldn't be saved. All he could do was let Bray maneuver them out the window. Every moment sent a wave of pain through his body. He bit back his complaints. He deserved the pain. He deserved to suffer. He deserved whatever torture Bray inevitably came up with because he couldn't just not twist the knife deeper into him. He deserved all of it and wouldn't let himself beg for mercy. He didn't deserve a single drop of it.

* * *

Seth felt like he was still trapped in a nightmare. Nothing felt real. Not what happened at the house and not the stay here in the hospital. He didn't remember passing out in the ambulance. He just woke up alone in a hospital bed with his shoulder and hands all bandaged up. Roman was up in ICU. His condition was seemingly stable, but critical. Jimmy had been taken to the psych ward. He had completely fallen apart with the loss of Jey. Naomi was there, though Seth hadn't seen much of her. She had stopped in momentarily, but her focus was primarily on Jimmy. And that was fine. Seth understood it. But he just wished someone could be there for him. He had endured the police's questions alone, retelling the events as he knew them while also directing them to his phone, where they could see pictures of Dean. He told them about Bray's obsession with Dean. That was what had started this whole mess. It all came back to Bray. The police had taken notes and sent pictures from Seth's phone to their own, giving him promises that they would check the other hospitals in the area to see if Bray and Dean had popped up there. With the amount of carnage that had taken place in the house, it was entirely plausible that they would have had to have made at least a pit stop to one. Seth prayed to every god and deity he could think of that they were still at one. If they weren't then he had no idea how they would ever find Dean. The compound in Louisiana was compromised. Seth was sure Bray had his followers stored somewhere else now. But where that somewhere else was he didn't know. Hell, for all he knew, Bray was looking to abandon absolutely everyone and just taking Dean for himself completely. That thought was even scarier than Dean being back at the Wyatt compound. If there was absolutely nothing to distract Bray from his obsession then god only knew what kind of damage he would do.

Seth tried to push those thoughts out of his mind. He didn't want to think about it. Instead he focused in on Roman. Despite objections from the nurses, he had dragged himself up to the ICU to sit at Roman's side. It was killing him to see the larger man like this. He was hooked up to all sorts of tubes and IVs and he just looked so small and helpless. It was wrong. This wasn't the way Roman should look. He was supposed to be strong. He was the strongest out of the three of them. But now his strength had been sapped. He was just clinging from tipping over the edge and falling through death's door. Seth wanted to grab his hand and squeeze it. To feel that he was still real. But he had no real use of his hands. They were too hurt and heavily bandaged for him to do anything with.

"Don't leave me." His voice was barely audible even to himself. "Roman please. Please don't leave me." He sniffled. "I love you. I need you. Dean loves you. He needs you." He tried to shake off the tears but wasn't really successful. "We can't lose you. Please. We can't do this without you."

Roman gave no response. Seth just sat there in the silence, his mind and heart drowning in hopelessness. It wasn't until there was a knock on the door that he even remotely became aware of his surroundings again.

"Mr. Rollins?" one of the detectives that had questioned him before slipped into the room. There had been a man and a woman. This was the man. Keaton. Detective Keaton. At least Seth thought this one was Keaton. He looked to be in his mid-thirties, his face strong and square. His lips were so thin they were almost nonexistent. His hair was buzzed down almost all the way. Seth hadn't really liked him during the questioning. The woman had been nicer. Much nicer.

"Did you find him?" Seth wiped his face with the back of his arm.

Detective Keaton sighed. "We checked the other hospitals. The doctors and nurses at Mercy were able to confirm that Mr. Wyatt did bring Mr. Ambrose to them for his injuries. He checked him in under the name of Jon Moxley -"

"His old in ring name." Seth didn't know why he thought to drop that in. It wasn't like the detective really cared.

"He fed them some story about Mr. Ambrose falling off their back porch and obtaining a stab wound with a screwdriver and a broken arm."

"And they believed that?"

"At first. Some started having doubts after the severity of the stab wound was discovered. But Mr. Ambrose was in no shape for questioning and by the time we got there, Mr. Wyatt assaulted a janitor, stole his clothing and took off with Mr. Ambrose through the hospital window."

Seth's heart sank. Of course Bray had already run. He had every reason in the world to. He had to have known someone would come looking for him and Dean, even with his fake story in place.

"We're setting up road blocks," Detective Keaton went on. "And we're contacting other police departments through the state and the nearby ones so they can be on the look out. Mr. Wyatt can't hide forever."

Except he could. That was the thing. Bray Wyatt was a man who could disappear completely off the map and never come back on it. He was inhumanly relentless. And now he had what he wanted. He had Dean all to himself. He had Dean alone, helpless and surely scared out of his mind. It killed Seth to even think about.

"We'll find him." Detective Keaton appeared to be uncomfortable with the look on Seth's face. "It's not too late."

Seth doubted him completely on both fronts.

 


	22. Chapter 22

Bray did his best to keep them off populated roads. His body was tense, his eyes constantly moving in order to keep an eye out for any cops that could possibly come by. His grip on the steering wheel was so tight his knuckles were turning white. He needed to get them out of Florida. He still hadn't sorted out where they were going exactly. He kept putting it off, instead focusing on creating distance between them and everything that had happened. Not that the distance was helping Dean. He was in the passenger's seat, his eyes glued to his own lap. He hadn't said much of anything this whole drive. He was too busy wallowing in his guilt. He wasn't crying at the moment. He just sat there, constantly picking at his cast instead. He was being crushed under the weight of his own guilt. It was beyond anything Bray had ever seen before. He had seen Dean low. He had seen his self loathing. He had seen him wallow in his misery. But this was on a whole different level. It looked like every single second that he sat there breathing was just killing him. It was captivating to watch. His pain was beautiful.

"Little lamb?" Bray broke the silence just to see what Dean would do.

Dean jerked at the sound of Bray's voice. He still didn't look up at him. He kept his gaze down, his hand moving to start rubbing at his shoulder and collarbone.

"Little lamb." Bray decided to try again. "Look at me."

Dean reluctantly obeyed. Bray felt his breath catch in his throat. If he had thought Dean looked beautiful before, it was nothing compared to looking him directly in his eyes. Blue orbs were finally begging for salvation. Bray knew he didn't feel like he deserved it. He didn't feel like he deserved anything. But his soul still ached for it. It begged for love. It begged for forgiveness. It begged for Bray to swallow him up and consume him completely. And Bray would be more than happy to oblige.

"Where are we going?" Dean asked the question so quietly that Bray almost hadn't heard him.

"I'm still figuring that out," Bray admitted. "I don't want you at the compound. Last thing I need is for someone else to be inspired to walk the same path that Luke did."

Dean looked away again. His movement didn't hide the guilt that flashed across his face. He was so far down on himself he even felt guilty for tearing Bray's family apart. Bray barely hid back his smirk. This was just too marvelous.

"Where would you want to go little lamb?" Bray took one hand off the wheel to grab one of Dean's. Whatever answer the other man gave him would have no actual bearing on his decision. He just wanted to know what kind of answer he would get out of Dean.

Dean shrugged. That was it. Maybe he knew his answer didn't matter. Or maybe he just didn't care. Maybe it was both of these things. Both seemed like a likely answer.

Silence fell between them. Bray kept his hand on Dean's as he kept driving. The radio played softly in the background. Bray kept shifting his eyes around, his paranoia not starting to really die down until they crossed the state border into Georgia. Getting there without incident allowed him to breathe. He wouldn't relax completely. He wasn't foolish enough to do that. But he thought it reasonable enough to believe that he was still ahead of the game.

Dean tried to squirm in his seat. Every little movement made him grimace in pain. He needed to stretch his legs, but he still wasn't very mobile. The pain he was in and the stitches in his stomach didn't allow him to do much. Bray hadn't thought about what they would do when it was time to take them out. Oh well. He was sure there was a way to do it himself. He could worry about it later. For now he pulled off the road, deciding it was dark and secluded enough to take a little break. Dean looked back at him, his eyes asking the question that wasn't coming out of his mouth.

"Come on. "Bray turned off the car and opened his door. "We're going to take a walk."

Dean looked back out the window. His kept his gaze locked on the trees looming off to the side. "I um...no. Let's just go."

"I didn't ask if you wanted to." Bray got out of the car and slammed his door shut. He took a quick glance up and down the road. There still wasn't another car in sight. He slipped his keys in his pocket and walked around to Dean's side. He opened the door, shaking his head as Dean jumped. "Come on." He held out his hand. "Let's go."

Dean let out a distressed whimper. He gave Bray a pleading look. He didn't want to. His mind was surely racing with things that could happen. Bray refused to budge though. He just stared Dean down, making him relent and take his hand. "There we go." He helped Dean out of the car and kissed his forehead. "Be my good little lamb." He wrapped around Dean to help hold him as he shut the car door. "Just walk with me."

There wasn't an argument. Dean was still creeped out by their surroundings but he offered no fight. Instead he let Bray lead him around, wincing with every step they took. Bray kept an arm locked around him, not wanting to let him go for a single second. And he didn't have to. That was the beauty of this situation. He didn't have to let Dean go. Not now. Not ever again.

"Where are we going?" Dean's eyes darted around as Bray steered them towards the trees. "Bray?"

"We're just taking a walk."

The answer wasn't a soothing one. Not for Dean. He knew Bray too well. He knew something had to be in the works. And he wasn't wrong. Just walking wasn't enough for Bray. Not tonight. Not after everything. They got as far as behind the first tree before Bray pressed Dean back first against it. He didn't have to use much force to keep him there. Dean slumped back against it and just stared at him. Hopeless. Helpless. So, so beautiful.

Their lips clashed in a searing kiss. Bray dived into Dean's mouth with his tongue, swallowing every bit of the raw emotion he had to offer. Dean was his. He had won. He hadn't won in the way he had thought, but he had done it just the same. Through the ashes of all the destruction came his victory. So many could have been spared if they had just accepted the fact that Dean was meant to be his. But whatever. It didn't matter now. All that mattered was that he had Dean now, their lips fused together, his hands wandering over the trembling body against him. Dean's lips moved against his while he clutched at Bray's shirt. He was torn apart on the inside. Bray could feel it. Giving in again truly made the efforts of Seth and Roman be for nothing. He knew it and it tore him apart on the inside. But he couldn't stop himself now. Roman for all he knew was dead. That meant Bray was all he had left. And he feared being left with absolutely nothing too much to fight anymore. He would hate himself but that didn't matter to Bray. He loved him. And he would make Dean finally love him too.

Bray's fingers drifted under Dean's shirt. The whole janitor look on him wasn't a favorite of his. They would have to get him some different clothes at some point. Something more suitable for fingers drifted over the bandages around Dean's stomach. His mind flashed back to the scene at the house. Dean, stabbed and covered in his own blood. Dean, slumped over in the truck, the life slowly draining out of him. Bray had almost lost him completely. The thought made his heart twist inside his chest. It had been too close. It had been way too close. He broke the kiss and pulled his head back to glare at Dean. The shift in attitude made Dean frown in confusion.

"Bray..."

"Where did you think you were going without me?" Bray rubbed his fingers over Dean's bandages again. "You almost left me."

Dean just stared at him with wide eyes. He almost looked shocked that Bray had said that. But he shouldn't have been. He should have known better. He should have known he wasn't allowed to leave like that. "Bray..."

Bray brought his hand up and gripped Dean's chin tightly. "Don't you ever fucking think you can go somewhere without me. You fucking hear me?"

The grip Bray had on his face left Dean unable to really answer. He just made a choked off noise that Bray thought was a whimper. Bray tilted Dean's head back, holding it there with one hand while the other tugged at Dean's jeans. "Bray..." Dean finally managed to choke out. "Bray I can't..."

"Ssshhhhhh." Bray got the button undone and slowly pulled down the zipper. "Just trust me little lamb."

Dean whimpered again. He looked at Bray with wide eyes, his body trembling. Bray slipped his hand down Dean's jeans and wrapped it around his shaft. Dean's knees nearly buckled as he moaned. His eyes fluttered shut, his teeth biting down on his lower lip. Bray wanted to kiss him again. He wanted to bite his lips until he tasted Dean's blood. He wanted to swallow down his pain and feast on his desperation. But he made no move to reclaim Dean's lips. His desire to watch every little expression on Dean's face outweighed the desire to kiss him. He moved his hand up and down Dean's length slowly, teasing the head with every stroke upwards. Dean's cock twitched in his hand, slowly hardening in his grasp. "That's it little lamb." He finally leaned in to place kisses all along Dean's jaw. "Be a good little lamb for me."

The trembling refused to stop. A look down let Bray see that Dean's grip on his shirt had turned his knuckles white. Bray looked back at Dean's face. Dean was condemning himself for this already. He was letting himself dwell on what Roman and Seth would think. "They don't matter anymore darlin." Bray put his mouth up to Dean's ear to whisper directly in it. "They're gone. You're all mine now."

Dean turned his head, another choked off noise leaving him.

"No no no." That wasn't going to do. Bray stopped stroking Dean and used his free hand to force Dean into making eye contact with him. "Look at me darlin." He dug his nails into Dean's chin, drawing a whimper out of him. "You're mine, you understand? You've always been mine. But you had to bring down the whole world before accepting it, now didn't you?"

Dean flinched at the words.

"Your boys are gone. They either can't help you, or don't want to now. I'm what you have." Bray moved his hand off Dean's chin to grab his hair instead. "You're mine." He gave the blond curls a hard yank. "Say it."

"I'm...I'm yours." The admission was quiet. It was defeated. It was beautiful. Bray recaptured his lips, his hand resuming its movements once again. He moved it faster now, rewarding Dean for his admission. Dean whined into the kiss, his hands nearly tearing Bray's shirt right off him. The wind picked up but only Dean shivered from it. Bray didn't even feel it. His mind was too zeroed in on Dean. He knew by the noises Dean was making that he was almost there. He stroked him even faster, swallowing down his cries as he brought him over the edge. Dean's body shuddered before collapsing completely against him. Their lips broke apart, leaving their mouths to just breathe against each other.

"Say it again," Bray ordered. He didn't move his hand off Dean's cock. Instead he gripped it tighter, watching Dean's expression as he squirmed against his grip. "Come on little lamb."

"S-stop." Dean reached down and tried to pry Bray's hand off. "Bray stop."

"Say it again." Bray didn't let go. Instead he resumed his stroking, making Dean whine and shake his head desperately. "Say it little lamb."

"I'm yours." The words came out faster than the first time. "I'm fucking yours. What else do you want from me?" He stared at Bray desperately. "I have nothing but you left. I fucking ruined everything else, just like I fucking ruin everything." His voice cracked and he clung to Bray's shirt once again. "I don't even deserve you. I fucking...I just..." His voice trailed off and he just stared at Bray, desperately searching for some sort of absolution. "I didn't mean it." The tears that had been threatening to fall slipped freely now. "I didn't mean it." He shook his head, his voice becoming harder and harder to understand. "I didn't mean it. I didn't I swear."

"Sssshhhh." Bray let go of Dean's cock and wiped his hand clean on Dean's jeans. "Shush now little lamb." He pulled Dean against him and wrapped his arms around him. His fingers went up to his hair to gently stroke at his scalp. "It's alright darlin. I got you. I got you."

Dean made no real response to those words. He just buried his face against Bray's shoulder and sobbed. His whole body shook as more words fell from his lips. Bray couldn't even begin to understand them. But that was alright. He had a feeling it was just more declarations of him not meaning it and pleas for forgiveness that Dean didn't even feel like he actually deserved. He was so lost. So broken.

His poor little lost Dean.

* * *

"You got to eat something."

Seth only grunted at Naomi's words. Objectively he knew she was right. He couldn't remember the last time he had eaten anything. But he just wasn't hungry. Nothing sounded good. How could he even think of eating in a time like this? Roman still hadn't woken up. Seth was starting to fear he never would actually wake up. Jimmy was still a mess. He was curled up in his bed in the psych ward, refusing to do anything but say Jey's name over and over again. The words "nervous breakdown" were being used to describe his condition. And Dean was still gone. The police were searching for him and Bray. Detective Keaton had said he was looking into Bray's background to see if it would provide any clue as to where he would take Dean now. Seth wasn't sure if it would do any good, but they had to do something. He had even told the cops where the old Wyatt compound was, despite knowing in his gut that Bray wouldn't go there. It was a compromised spot. Wherever Bray planned to go, it would somewhere that nobody else knew about. It would be in a place where he could hurt and haunt Dean in complete peace.

"Seth." Naomi snapped her fingers to get his attention. "Come on. Listen to me now." She grabbed his arm and squeezed it tightly. She had come to Roman's room to check up on them. Seth had felt awful the moment he laid eyes on her. Her eyes were not only red from crying, but she was rocking some serious bags under them now. Watching Jimmy be in such pain and being unable to do anything to soothe it was killing her. It was killing Roman and Jimmy's whole family actually. Losing Jey had been a huge blow, and the state of Roman and Jimmy was making things even worse. Seth hated it. He wished he could take it all back somehow. He wished he could have stopped Luke and Rowan from taking him and Roman from the house. If he had been quicker or stronger he could have stopped the bastards. Jimmy, Jey and Dean would have never had to come for them. They would still be there and alright if he had been better.

"Seth come on." Naomi tugged his arm until he stood up with her. "Walk with me."

He didn't want to go. He wanted to keep watch over Roman. He had already lost Dean; he was scared that if he took his eyes off Roman he would end up losing him too. But he had no energy to argue with her. He just let her drag him to the cafeteria, where she grabbed some food. Despite her lecturing him about needing to eat, she made no attempt to do so herself. Instead she just tried to shove it all in his mouth. He tried to just eat it. He didn't need to go and make things any harder for her than they already were. But each bite was hard to take. The food was awful, which didn't help anything. After choking down only a few bites he had to shake his head. He couldn't do it. He didn't have it in him.

"You gotta eat," she tried to insist.

"You should eat." He tried to nudge the food in her direction. "I'll be fine."

She didn't look like she believed him. He didn't even believe him. He wasn't fine. He wasn't going to be fine. Everything had been completely fucked up and he didn't know what to do. He was just drifting in the remains of it all, stuck in a limbo that he saw no way out of.

"Do you think I should see him?" He shifted the conversation to Jimmy. It felt like an asshole thing to do, but he couldn't deal with the focus being on him. "See if I can do anything to help?"

Naomi looked down at her lap. "I don't think there's anything any of us can do." She ran a hand over her face, sighing loudly as her shoulders slumped. "Not unless we could bring Jey back somehow."

Seth cringed. They couldn't. Jey was gone. A pang of guilt struck him in the stomach. If he had been better he could have found a way to stop all this. He could have saved them. But he failed. He was supposed to be the brains of the group and keep them all ten steps ahead of everyone else. But he hadn't been able to do that. When it came to this whole mess with the Wyatts they were always behind. They were always failing. And that was on him. It was all on him."

"Seth?" Naomi frowned. "Hey, are you okay?"

No. He wasn't. He was so far from okay that it wasn't funny. He couldn't breathe. He heard his ragged breaths but it didn't feel like he was getting any of the air. "I'm sorry," he managed to gasp out. He got to his feet, nearly knocking over his chair as he did so. "I can't. I'm sorry."  
"Seth wait!"

He didn't wait. He stumbled from the cafeteria and blindly made his way back to Roman's room. The moment the door shut behind him the sobbing started. His legs gave out from under him and he slid down to the floor. He pulled his knees up to his chest and buried his face against them. He couldn't stop. He tried but he couldn't. He just kept going, not even realizing at first that Roman had opened his eyes until his groggy voice filled the room.

"Seth?"

Seth's head snapped up at the sound. Roman was looking at him, weak and pitiful but fucking awake. "Roman!" He scrambled up to his feet and almost dived on to the bed. He wrapped his arms around Roman's body, burying his face against his chest. He was awake. That was all that mattered.

"Are...are you okay?" Roman asked slowly. He was still pretty out of it if his voice was anything to go by. "Where's Dean?"

Seth didn't have the heart to answer either of those questions. Instead he buried his face further in Roman's chest and tried to pull himself together. He had to be strong now. Even if he had no idea what the hell they were going to do, he had to fake it for Roman's sake. He had already failed everyone enough. He had to fix it now. Somehow he had to fucking fix it.

* * *

Dean didn't remember falling asleep. The last thing he had remembered was leaning his head against the window, broken sobs still making his whole body shake. He supposed he just exhausted himself into oblivion. At least he hadn't had any dreams this time around. That was the only bright side. He still didn't feel rested. His mind and body and soul just felt so exhausted. His body really hurt as well. He needed to be in the hospital still. Or even just resting in a bed. Sitting in this vehicle was too uncomfortable.

Bray's hand reached over and grabbed his. His eyes were glued to the road, his lips turned into a bit of a smile. He was softly singing to the Johnny Cash song on the radio. He was happy. A little too happy. Something was up.

"I know where to go," Bray said before Dean could even say a word. He looked away from the road to smile at him. "I remembered a place she showed me once. I'm the only one she ever showed. Said it was because I was special." He brought Dean's hand up to his mouth and kissed the back of it. "And now I'll show you."

Dean just stared at him. The feeling in his gut told him there was no way this could be good. It was Bray talking here. God only knew what kind of place Abigail could have shown him. But he didn't object. He didn't even ask where this place was. He just clung to Bray's hand and stared blankly at the road. It didn't matter where this place was. The only person in this world that still wanted him after all the shit he had caused was already coming with him. It hurt his heart to think that but it was true. He couldn't run from it. He couldn't hide from it. Bray would find him again, like always. He just had to accept it before he somehow fucked up everything yet again.

 


	23. Chapter 23

_The farm had been something Abigail had always talked to him about. During the nights he found himself unable to sleep, he would sit with her in the kitchen and listen to her tell all the stories she remembered from the place. She had grown up there, her father leading a family much like the one she was the head of now. Bray would sit there in an awed silence, loving her more and more with every word she spoke. She always told stories, but she saved the special ones for him. He didn't know what had made her choose to favor him above everyone else. He wasn't really looking to question it. He just did everything she asked of him, wanting nothing more than to please her. Apparently he had done a good job, because now they were there. They were at the farm she had told him so much about. She had taken him by the hand and led him to the place that only he knew existed. She was letting him into her world. She trusted him to keep her secrets. And keep them he would. He would protect them with his dying breath._

_She squeezed his hand tightly as they walked across the field. She had already taken him through the house and the barn, which had once been full of life. She had talked the whole time about the people who had lived there before. She told him their names and where they had come from. She told them about how they had been given salvation. She told him how he would one day save the souls of the lost. He was the one according to her. She said she had known it from the moment she had found him. He listened to every word, his hand squeezing hers in return as they continued to walk. Eventually she grew quiet, letting him process everything she had told him._

_"Why did you leave here?" he finally asked. He looked around at the fields, which had once grown enough crops to feed all the people her father had taken under his wing. "This place is perfect. You could have stayed."_

_Abigail shook her head. "To spread my message I had to move. I had to build my own path." She brought his hand up to her mouth and kissed his knuckles. "I built mine just like you will eventually build yours." She smiled at him, her blue eyes slipping beneath his skin and getting into his soul. "But someday you will need a sanctuary. You will need a place that not even your family will know about." She used her free hand to gesture all around them. "And this will be there for you._ _I give this to_ _you and the one closest to your heart." The hand that wasn't in his cupped his face. "Choose wisely my child. The heart is a_ _tender thing."_

* * *

The farm was almost like Bray had remembered it. The house and the barn were a bit more beat up from the storms they had endured over the years, but both were still standing. He almost felt stupid for not thinking to come there before now. This place was exactly what he needed. Maybe his fading connection with Abigail had something to do with it. He hadn't heard her voice since he had started seriously pursuing Dean again. The fact was disturbing in itself, but what was more disturbing was his acceptance of it. His feelings for Dean really had consumed him. But that was alright. He was building his own path, just like she had done before him. His just happened to cost him everything that he had once built. But that was alright. He had Dean and now there was a roof over their head. That was really all he needed.

Bray looked over at Dean, who was desperately trying to find a way to itch his broken arm through his cast. He was still being really quiet. Only the occasional whimper of pain came out of him. Bray knew he wanted some pills or something for the injuries he was nursing. There was nothing for him to take though. Bray had no access to medication, whether it be prescription or illegally bought. Dean didn't need pain killers in his system anyway. He already had struggled with drug addiction before. Even if these drugs would be different, that wasn't a slope they needed to slide down.

"Come on." Bray took the keys out of the ignition and opened the car door. "Let's go."

Dean looked up, staring at the house cautiously. "What is this?" he finally asked.

"Home." Bray got out of the car, expecting Dean just to follow. He took a few steps toward the house, stopping when he didn't hear Dean following him. He turned back around. He saw Dean with his hand on his door, but he wasn't making the move to actually get out. Bray's jaw tightened. Even if Dean wasn't really fighting him, the reluctance he was showing would have to go. He walked back to the car and yanked the door opened. Dean snatched his hand back, his eyes going wide as Bray leaned down to get in his face.

"What's the matter little lamb? Aren't you tired of sitting in here?" Bray brought his hand up and gently ran his fingers down the side of Dean's face. He tilted his head to the side as Dean shuddered. "Don't you want to come inside? Or don't you trust me?" His eyes narrowed as Dean flinched. Dean didn't trust him. Not completely. He was there because he had nowhere else to go. He trusted the fact that Bray was so obsessed with him that he wouldn't toss him away. And that was true. But now it was time to make Dean truly trust him. Now was the time to make Dean truly love him. He wanted it all: his mind, his body, his soul. And he was going to get them all, one way or another.

"Follow me. Now."

Dean bit down on his lower lip but did what he was told. He let Bray lead him into the house, wincing as Bray dragged him along by the wrist. They climbed up the porch steps, which creaked under their weight. The screen door nearly came right off the hinges as Bray pulled it open. The front door was locked, but came open easily when Bray rammed his shoulder against it. An old musty smell invaded their noses as they stepped inside. Dean started to cough and even Bray had to wrinkle his nose. They definitely needed to let this place air out soon. But for now Bray closed the door behind them. Bray heard the catch in Dean's throat as the door clicked into place. They were surrounded in darkness now. That was good. He and Dean had been molded in darkness once before. Now he could mold Dean in it once again.

"Bray?" As their eyes adjusted to the dark Bray noticed Dean looking at him nervously. He wasn't trying to pull away, but Bray could tell he had the urge to.

"I always tell you to trust me." Bray kept his voice quiet as he turned to fully face Dean. He wrapped an arm around Dean's waist and leaned, his lips coming dangerously close to Dean's. He felt Dean stiffen. He heard his breath catch again. He was scared. Bray supposed he had good reason to be, considering everything that had happened between them. "And you let me do what I want. But I don't get the feeling you actually trust me all that much." He shook his head as he tightened his grip on Dean's body. "I don't think that's going to do. Not if you're really going to be mine now."

Dean shook his head. His eyes were wide and growing increasingly frightened. "I trust you." His voice cracked, giving away his own lie. "I do."

"Do you now?" Bray shook his head as Dean nodded. "Then why are you so tense? Why do you look so scared of me?" He watched as Dean froze. "I don't think you'd be scared if you really trusted me."

"I...please..."

"I think we should work on that, don't you?" Their feet were moving now. Bray couldn't remember where a bedroom was in this place. Hopefully he would just happen to stumble upon one. "I mean, we can't be living here together without some actual trust." He kept his eyes locked on Dean's, determined not to let him look away even for a second. "Not only am I all you got left, but I gave up my whole family for you. I should be getting a fair amount of trust, don't you think?"

Dean didn't say anything. He tried. The effort was made, but it died before it could fully come out. He looked so scared. His legs shook underneath him, making him unsteady as a baby deer. If Bray hadn't been holding him he surely would have fell.

"What's the matter little lamb? Cat got your tongue?" Bray managed to get them to a door and stopped them at it. "Don't you want to trust me? Don't you want to make me happy?" His lips curled into a sinister smile. "I'm not throwing you away like they would. You can't even give me a little bit of trust?" He shook his head. "Oh little lamb. That's not very nice." He reached behind Dean and grabbed the door handle. He twisted it slowly while he buried his face into Dean's neck. "You're so lucky I'm willing to teach you. Most don't think you're worth the patience you take." He kissed Dean's neck as he pushed the door open. He glanced into the darkened room and was able to see a bed in there. Perfect. "Just be a good little lamb for me." He guided Dean inside, his face still buried in his neck. "I can fix you. Just be a good little lamb. Be so good for me."

Dean only whimpered as Bray slammed the door shut behind them.

* * *

Waking up to find a crying Seth should have told Roman right then and there that nothing good had happened while he had been out of it. But for whatever reason, he hadn't expected anything to be as bad as what Seth told him. Jey was dead. Jimmy had a nervous breakdown and was still inconsolable. And while Rowan and Harper were both dead, Bray was alive and on the run with Dean. Roman didn't know what to do with all this information. He felt sick to his stomach. His most beloved cousins had been torn apart and one of his boys was back in the clutches of the madman they had tried to save him from in the first place. He felt helpless and hopeless. He couldn't even think to get up and go looking for Dean himself. He wanted to, but his body wouldn't allow it. He couldn't move much without ripping out his stitches. The progress he had been trying to make towards walking again would be stalled as he waited to heal. He hated it. He needed to move. He needed to find Dean. God only knew what Bray was doing to him. Roman had already imagined a few things and had almost thrown up. They couldn't let it happen. They had to find him. If they didn't get him back they would lose him forever. He was sure of it.

He had to hold himself together though. He couldn't let himself fall apart. Seth still needed him to be strong. Seth was hurt and scared just like he was. If he fell apart then Seth surely would too. So he made himself sit there and be moderately calm as he and Seth looked at Detective Keaton. Dean hadn't been found, but the detective had not only wanted to assure them that they would get him back, but he wanted to share the fact that he had been making the extra effort into trying to dig up stuff on Bray's past. Roman wasn't sure how that would really help, but he was trying not to say anything. The police had their process and it was more than he and Seth had to go on anyway.

"Your bosses had no real records on him from before he joined the WWE." Keaton paced back and forth in front of the bed Roman and Seth were both laying on. "I'm not exactly sure how you can hire someone without doing a real background check, but you know, whatever. I contacted the Santa Fe police department since he was arrested there for attacking Dean before. All they had were his fingerprints that they took the night they arrested him."

Seth shifted around and barely bit back whatever it was that he wanted to say.

"So I did some digging into his promos." Keaton stopped pacing to just look at them. "And I found a little something at least. In one he did years ago when he first showed up in that developmental he said he grew up in Lafayette, Louisiana. Given that he's potentially slipped out of Florida, we've gotten the FBI involved and I got a couple of agents to check there."

"Why?" Seth finally asked.

"Well, assuming he didn't take Dean back to where he's hiding the rest of his cult, he's going to need somewhere familiar to go."

"No place like home," Roman muttered.

"Exactly." Keaton looked pleased that Roman was catching on to his thinking. "He was born there in May of 1987. His mother died during his birth, leaving him with his father. His father raised him on the outskirts of the city. He had his own shrimp boat. What family he has left said he hated Bray. He blamed him for his wife's death. They said Bray didn't go to school but taught himself to read at a very young age. He was smart, but there was something off about him from the start."

Seth snorted. "Oh gee. Imagine that."

Keaton continued on like Seth hadn't spoke. "Bray's father eventually died in a fire on his boat. Most suspected Bray of doing it, but he disappeared immediately after and it was never officially proven." He bent down to pick up the briefcase he had set aside. "From there on there was nothing. Not until about 2006, where he pops up one more time before getting signed by WWE." He opened the briefcase and pulled out a folder. "The FBI ran the prints the Santa Fe police took and they popped up a match. "In July of '06 there was a riot in a small town in Mississippi. Two young teenagers ran off and joined a cult. The families and the town itself accused the cult of stealing the teenagers while the cult claimed the teens joined them willingly. Violence ensued, and about everyone was arrested. Including our friend Mr. Wyatt."

Roman took the mug shot that Keaton was holding out for them. It was undoubtedly Bray. He was younger and didn't have anywhere near the amount of facial hair that he had now, but his eyes gave him away. Roman would know those crazy eyes from anywhere.

"The police reports don't say that he was the ring leader." Keaton pulled another picture from his folder. "All reports indicate he was following her about this time."

Roman took that picture as well. Somewhere in his heart, he knew who he would be looking at before he saw her. Long blonde hair clearly went down past where the picture cut off. Her heart shaped face complimented most of her facial features. Her nose was small, her lips were plump, and she had nice, high cheekbones. But the look in her eyes took away from all her beauty. There was something in them. Something evil. Roman could see it just from the picture. He looked to Seth and knew he was seeing the same thing.

"Sister Abigail." Keaton's voice broke the silence. "I've got less on her than I do Bray. No last name. No other known alias. No other prints in the system. The accent apparently had police guessing she was from somewhere down there in the south, but that doesn't narrow the field all that much. If we're to believe Bray's promos, she's long been dead. But at the same token, he seems to think he's still getting some guidance from her." He ran a hand over his face and sighed. "Now if Bray didn't take Dean back to his cult, and if he isn't heading home with him, then my gut is honestly telling me that perhaps she had a place for them to hide and he's going there. I mean, besides from the incident in Mississippi, he wasn't anywhere we can find before WWE. And she didn't seem to even exist outside that one incident."

"And if he's using a place she knew, we might not ever find Dean."

Seth's words sent a chill through Roman's spine. He looked to Keaton, who was wincing. He was thinking the exact same thing. If all they knew on Abigail ended on what Bray had said about her, they were fucked. They were completely and totally fucked.

* * *

Dean felt like he couldn't breathe. He was trying. He was trying so hard, but his panic fueled gasps weren't doing much for him. He had fucked up again. Bray was upset with him. Bray didn't think he trusted him. Which he didn't, but he should have tried harder to make Bray think he did. If he had done that right he wouldn't have been in the predicament he was currently in. Bray had found some rope and tied him naked to the bed. His good arm was bound to the headboard while his ankles were tied to the legs of the bed, leaving his own legs spread wide open. His broken arm was left untouched, which was only a saving grace from a pain standpoint. It was useless to try to use it for any sort of escape. He tried to pull and wiggle out from the ropes instead. There wasn't a single inch of give to be found in it. He wasn't going anywhere until Bray allowed him to.

"Bray!" He tried to move his head up to look around. Bray had left the room to get something and had yet to come back. Dean couldn't even hear him moving through the house. That wasn't helping his panic level in the least. "Bray!" He tried to swallow down the lump in his throat. "Bray please. I trust you, okay? I do. You don't got to do this."

No answer. Dean whimpered and tugged at the restraints again. He was so fucked. How did he do this to himself? How was he so good at fucking shit up? He knew how Bray was. He should have known better. He had triggered...whatever this was going to be. He bit down on his lower lip and tried to tug at his restraints again. He had to get out. He had to make this better somehow.

"You're only going to hurt yourself little lamb."

Dean flinched at the words. Bray had popped up again without him even hearing his footsteps. He moved his head up, his breath catching in his throat as he saw the larger man walking through the door. He was holding a piece of black cloth in his hand. Dean didn't want to know what it was for. There was no way it would be for anything good.

"Untie me." Dean didn't have to try hard to look pathetically desperate. He had gone beyond that point some time ago. "This isn't funny."

"I never said it was." The edge of the mattress dipped as Bray crawled on to it. He slowly moved over Dean's body, his eyes admiring the state that he had put the other man in. It hadn't been hard for him to do. Dean hadn't been in any real state to fight him off. "I'm being very serious here. We need to work on you trusting me."

"I do trust you." Dean's eyes kept going back and forth between Bray's face and the black cloth in his hand.

"You don't."

"I do!"

"You're lying to me."

"I'm -" Dean didn't get to finish the thought. Four large fingers shoved themselves in his mouth, effectively silencing him. He gagged around them, tears involuntarily filling his eyes.

"Why do you think you can lie to me?" Bray's voice had gone quiet. Dangerously quiet. "You know I know you better than anyone. But you lay there and think you can lie to me." He shook his head. "We got to fix that little lamb."

The fingers left his mouth but Dean didn't get much relief. Bray put the cloth over his eyes, tying it as a blindfold. Dean's heart jumped up to his throat. Oh fuck. Oh no. He couldn't do this. He was already helpless as he was. Not being able to see just completed his helplessness. He twisted his head from side to side, trying desperately to get it off him. His efforts were to no avail. Bray easily secured the blindfold and grabbed his chin to make him stop moving.

"See? You don't trust me." Fingernails dug into Dean's chin and cheeks roughly. "You keep lying to me." His voice broke off into a frightening laugh. "I'm all you got left and you keep lying to me. That's not good, now is it little lamb?"

Dean couldn't answer him. His voice wasn't working. The most he managed to get out was a whimper. He couldn't see the look on Bray's face for that. He felt him get off the bed though. He moved his head around, his heart pounding wildly in his chest. He could hear something being thrown on the floor. Clothes. It was probably his clothes. Dean's heart dropped from his throat to down in his stomach. He knew what was going to happen. He struggled against the ropes, shaking his head against desperately. "Bray don't," he managed to say. "Don't please." He could feel tears forming under his blindfold.

His words did nothing. He felt Bray climb on the bed. He felt him position himself between his legs. His body instinctively tensed. He immediately wished it hadn't. Bray's fingers slid back into his mouth, choking him as he thrust inside. Dean tried to scream around the thick digits. The pain nearly made him black out. His body stayed tensed, making the pain even worse. Bray's mouth was on his neck, biting away at the skin furiously. Every thrust rocked his body, pulling on his stitches. This felt more brutal than any other encounter they had shared before. He didn't know if it was because the shape he was in. He didn't know if it was because Bray wasn't in any way trying to get him off this time. Usually he was all about making Dean enjoy it no matter what. He wanted to get Dean off to taunt him about it. Not this time. Now he was just brutal. Now he was just trying to cause pain. He was punishing him for his lack of trust. Of course, one could ask how this was supposed to build trust, but the question wasn't springing to Dean's mind. His mind was too consumed with the pain. He tried to scream again and only got Bray's fingers shoved even further down his throat.

"Do you think I like doing this darlin?" Bray's mouth moved from his throat up to his ear. "Huh? Do you think I want to do this to you?"

Dean couldn't answer that. He couldn't even so much as whimper. He just laid there, his mind scrambling to block this out. This was too much. He wanted to just block it out but he couldn't. The combination of the pain and Bray's voice kept him grounded in the moment. He nearly sobbed as Bray's movements stilled, his release spilling inside of him. He felt Bray bite his earlobe before pulling out, his fingers finally leaving his mouth as well. He coughed and gasped for breath. His head was spinning. Every part of him hurt. He tried to speak now. He wanted to beg to be untied. He wanted to beg for some form of mercy. But all that left him was a hoarse croak.

Bray's hand gently tapped him on the cheek. "You'll learn to trust me little lamb. For real this time."

The mattress shifted and Dean felt Bray climb off the bed. Dean laid there for a moment, expecting Bray to keep talking before taking the blindfold off. But he didn't. He heard Bray humming to himself as he possibly got redressed. And then he heard his footsteps moving away. "Bray?" he finally managed to say. "Bray what the fuck are you doing?"

Bray's humming only got louder.

"Bray?" Dean's voice spiked in panic. "Bray where are you going? You can't leave me like this."

The door merely creaked as it was shut. Bray could and was leaving him just like this. Dean let that sink in, his brain flying into a pure panic. He couldn't breathe. Oh god he couldn't breathe. "Bray? BRAY!"


	24. Chapter 24

The farm was nearly twenty miles from the nearest city, giving them the seclusion Bray had been seeking. The seclusion allowed Bray to open the windows and doors despite Dean still yelling and pleading at him. The place had been uninhabited in so long that there was some sort of smell that even he couldn't tolerate. Letting the place air out was good. As he did that he began to go through the place. Abigail had never told him what happened to her father or the people he had taken in here. She had been long on her own path before he had been taken from this world. Whatever had happened though, there had been plenty left behind. Candles and lanterns to light the room. Pots and pans that were too old and rusty to cook with. Clothes from men, women and children. Dolls that all the little girls had played with. A bathtub that had no running water to make it useful. A well in the backyard that would at least serve for bathing water if he didn't grab bottles to drink when he went on a supply run. A fireplace that would give them heat when it eventually grew colder. They could do good here. He just had to get Dean on the same page as he was.

Bray lounged back on the rocking chair he had found on the back porch. He could still hear Dean carrying on in the house. It was tempting to go to him, but he made himself stay where he was. He needed to break Dean from any and all hesitation when it came to him. And it had to be done brutally. Doing it through pure kindness wouldn't work. Dean didn't know what to do with that. Seth and Roman had tried that and where had it gotten them? Dean still hadn't felt worthy of them. Dean still had fallen to him before the mess with Luke had happened. He needed pain to go with his love. He needed to go through the punishment he thought he deserved before he would allow Bray to shelter him and keep him from the outside world that had rejected him so many times before. Bray had to break through his final barriers to set Dean free.

He sat out there until the sun started to set. Once the sky had turned into a mix of dark red and blue he got up and headed back into the house. He lit the lantern he had sitting on the kitchen table and went around closing the doors and the windows. He could still hear Dean crying for freedom right where he had left him before. He kept ignoring him, not going to the room until he had the house nice and closed up. When he got there he found Dean struggling against his restraints yet again. His wrist and ankles were nearly bleeding from his efforts. The blindfold was still in place, leaving him unable to see Bray coming in. He still heard his footsteps though. The struggles doubled, his pleas getting louder despite the hoarseness of his voice.

"Bray please." Dean was clearly crying under the blindfold. "Let me go. I'll be good. I'll be good I promise."

"Oh you promise?" Bray sat down beside Dean but didn't touch him yet. "That's what you're promising me darlin?"

Dean nodded desperately.

"Will you be really good for me?"

He nodded again.

"I don't know if I believe you darlin." Bray put his hand on Dean's chest. He could feel his heart pounding wildly inside it. He was scared. He was so scared that Bray had to smile. It wouldn't take too long to break through to him. He wasn't quite there yet, but it would be sooner than he had thought.

Dean's whimper turned into a sob. Bray watched him for a moment, letting him get into hysterics before leaning down and placing kisses all over his face. "Ssshhhh now." He kept kissing him, saving his lips for last. Dean didn't return the kiss. He just cried against Bray's mouth, shuddering as Bray's fingers drifted across his body.

"Why does this scare you so much little lamb?" Bray asked as he broke the kiss. "You've dreamed of me tying you up and having my way with you on a table, but then wouldn't let me do it. Is it just me that you don't trust or are we looking at a bigger problem here?" His fingers traced circles over Dean's chest. "I've heard your screams as you've slept. You plead and beg not to be hurt. It's not always my name that comes from your lips though." His hand drifted lower, ghosting over the bandages over Dean's stomach. Those would need to be changed soon. He would have to get a first aid kit when he went out for supplies. "You hide your ghosts from me because you think you're shielding yourself. But I've seen them already. I've seen them all."

"Please..." Dean was back to pleading again. "Bray please..." He gasped as Bray's hand went even lower. "No no no no!"

"I thought you said you would be good for me." Bray wrapped his hand around Dean's cock. "You told me you'd be really good."

Dean's sobs were getting hoarser. He wouldn't have a voice soon enough.

"You don't want me to hurt you again. I get that. And I don't want to hurt you again." Bray slowly began to move his hand up and down the length. "I really don't." He watched Dean squirm under his grasp. "I want to enjoy having you now. But you're not letting me." He reached over with his other hand and ran his fingers across Dean's lips. "You're here because you have nowhere else to go. I know you didn't choose to be. You would choose to take it all back if you could. You would go away from me and leave me to burn."

Dean started to deny it but Bray slapped a hand over his mouth. He didn't want to be lied to. Dean had always craved and needed him, but was too stuck on the likes of Seth and Roman to ever truly choose him. Seth throwing the match back in March had made Dean come to him but it hadn't been a true surrender. Not if Roman and Seth had been able to take him back so easy. "I need you little lamb. I need you to even breathe. I love you more than I can stand and you will feel the same." He felt Dean shiver but disregarded it. "You'll need me like I need you. You won't even want to take a breath unless I'm there to take it with you." He took his hand off Dean's mouth while his other stroked Dean's shaft faster. Dean whined but didn't try to scoot away from the touch. His body was responding exactly how Bray intended it to. It was so easy to get it to do what Bray wanted. He knew just where to touch, just where to squeeze, just how and where to do everything to get the most delicious sounds from the bound man. He almost called an apology for their last encounter but he didn't. It wasn't really. He was doing it because he felt like it. Dean's body was his to control. It was his to play with, now and forever.

Dean's breathing quickened, his body instinctively arching towards Bray's hand. Bray stroked him faster, his eyes zeroed in on Dean's face. Dean was biting his lower lip, drawing blood with his own teeth. Bray swooped down with a growl and kissed him, his tongue swiping across Dean's lips to lap up it up. His hand moved even faster, bringing Dean over the edge with a muffled moan. Bray felt him go limp and smiled.

"Bray..."

"No."

"Bray please..."

"I'm not untying you."

Another sob escaped Dean. "Why?"

Bray didn't give him an answer. Instead he just patted his cheek before getting up. He had to find something to clean his hand with.

* * *

Nearly a week passed and there was nothing. No Dean. No nothing. The only things that changed was that both Seth and Jimmy were officially released from the hospital. Seth really hadn't seen Jimmy though. Despite being discharged, he chose to stay because Roman was there. Roman at least had a few more days left before he would be let out. Seth intended to stay with him the entire time, but Roman's parents had a different idea. Sika took the chair on the other side of Roman's bed while Patti grabbed him by the hand and pulled him out the door. He needed to shower she said. She said he had to get a change of clothes and eat some real food. He needed to take a minute and breathe. To let someone else take care of him and Roman. He tried to object but he wasn't listened to. Patti was a notoriously stubborn woman and he finally just let her have her way.

The car ride to the hotel was awkward. Seth stayed quiet as Patti tried to fill the silence. Jey's funeral was being delayed until Roman got out of the hospital and they could get everyone back down to Tampa. Seth felt bad that he hadn't even thought about the fact that Jey still needed to be buried. He had been too caught up with worrying about Dean and Roman that he had forgotten about Jey. He didn't dare admit to such a thing though. He felt like an asshole for it as it was. He didn't need Roman's family to know about it too.

Roman's parents were staying in a hotel room adjacent to Naomi and Jimmy's. The moment they were inside she pushed him towards the bathroom. "Take a shower," she ordered. "I'll have Jimmy and Naomi bring over some clothes while I go get us all some food."

Seth nodded. He felt bad for still not saying anything, but getting any words out just didn't feel possible. Instead he trudged to the bathroom, locking the door behind him. He slowly stripped himself of his clothes and tossed them carelessly to the floor. He didn't dare look in the mirror. He didn't want to see how shitty he looked. Instead he just stepped into the shower and turned on the water as hot as he could stand it. He didn't make much an effort to actually wash himself off. He just soaked in the nearly scalding hot water, breathing in the steam rising up around him. He tried to keep his mind clear. He wanted to just forget about everything just for a second. But the reprieve refused to come. Everything that had happened was hitting him again. Dean, Roman, Jey, Jimmy, Roman's whole family - everything was a fucking mess. He just wanted to fix it. That was all he wanted. He would never ask for anything else in life if he could just find a way to fix this. But the answers weren't coming to him. He didn't think they ever would. And he couldn't deal. Living with this was too much.

The frustrated scream tore itself out of him before he could stop it. Once it was out it opened the floodgates. His hands were still too fucked up to punch the wall so he banged his head against it instead. Probably not a good alternative, but he couldn't stop himself. He barely felt the pain anyway. This physical pain was nothing compared to what he was feeling inside. He screamed and banged his head until he nearly knocked himself down. His vision blurred and for a moment thought he would slip into unconsciousness. It wasn't meant to be though. He regained his bearings and found himself left with a scratchy throat and a pounding head. Fuck.

He shut off the water and stepped out of the shower. He grabbed the nearest towel and dried himself off before wrapping it around his waist. He stepped out of the bathroom and found that Naomi and Jimmy had already let themselves in. Only Naomi looked up at him as he came out though. Jimmy kept his eyes on the floor, his body tense and face set in a scowl. The look made Seth stop. "Hey," he said quietly, trying not to let the sudden awkwardness he felt overwhelm him.

"Hey." Naomi managed a small smile though it didn't really reach her eyes. "How are you feeling?"

"Eh..." Seth shrugged and left it at that. "Patti said you guys would have some clothes for me?"

"Yeah." Naomi grabbed the pile that they had put on the bed and handed it over. "She went out and bought them for you. I tried to help her guess your size but I don't know if we're right."

"Thanks." He took them and went back into the bathroom, quickly changing. The pants weren't the normal skinny ones he got but that was fine. He didn't care. He ran his fingers through his hair a few times, wishing that he had a ponytail but not feeling like asking for one. Instead he went back out to find Naomi talking softly to Jimmy, who was still refusing to look up. They both were tense, which didn't serve to make him feel very comfortable.

"Patti's getting pizza." Naomi pushed whatever conversation she and Jimmy were having aside to change the subject. "I don't know what kind though."

"That's fine." He wasn't really hungry, but didn't feel like bringing it up. He would try to eat to make Patti happy.

Awkward silence filled the room. They all just stood there, nobody seeming to know what to say. Seth couldn't stand it. "Roman's been missing you," he finally told Jimmy. "If you wanted to come back to the hospital with me after we eat and see him I know he'd appreciate it."

The snort he got as an answer wasn't something he expected.

"Jimmy!" Naomi slapped him on the chest with the back of her hand.

Jimmy scowled and turned away from her.

Seth frowned. "Am I missing something here?"

"No," Naomi lied. "We're fine."

Seth shook his head. He wasn't buying it. "Jimmy? The fuck is wrong?"

The moment the question left his mouth he felt the floodgates open. Jimmy finally looked back at him and he immediately took a step back. "You want to know what the fuck is wrong?" his voice was laced with bitterness. "My brother is fucking dead. He's dead because you. You, Roman and Dean. You because you were too stupid to think to move yourself and Roman out of that damn house. Bray broke in twice but you didn't think Harper and Rowan would get in too? You thought you would just stay there?"

"I -"

Jimmy didn't let him finish. He had no interest in hearing a word he had to say. "And fucking Roman told Jey to go save Dean. He fucking sent him up there to his death and you want me to fucking visit him?" He let out a sharp, humorless laugh. "Fuck you."

"You're really fucking blaming us?" Seth couldn't even believe what he was hearing. "Are you serious? We didn't fucking want ANY of this to happen." He pointed to Naomi. "If she had been the one in trouble and you hadn't been able to help her, you would have asked Roman to do it. You would have begged him to save her and he would have done it without any fucking hesitation."

"Guys please," Naomi pleaded. "Just stop."

Neither paid her any mind. "I'm sorry about Jey," Seth said. "I really am. But fuck you if you think it's mine or Roman's fault."

"So I should just blame Dean then?" Jimmy nodded as Seth's eyes narrowed. "I should, shouldn't I? He's the one who started this whole god damn mess."

"You fucking leave him out of this."

"Why? He was the one who had to go and fuck the swamp monster cult leader. He fucking pulled us all down into this mess. And what did our fucking attempts to help him get him?"

"You better shut the fuck up," Seth growled. "He didn't fucking ask for that shit from Bray."

"Bullshit! Fucking BULLSHIT!"

"Jimmy stop!"

"No!" Jimmy snarled at Naomi so fiercely that she recoiled. "He fucking asked for it. He doesn't know what he did."

"The fuck are you talking about?"

"You know when we had him on the road? Well we took him out one night to blow off some steam. He disappears for a bit after saying he's going to the bathroom. We find him in the alley and then you want to know what? Jey found him having a mental fucking breakdown in the shower. He thought Bray fucking attacked him again, but do you want to know what Dean did? He fucking lied about Bray being there. He fucking begged Jey not to tell you and Roman because he didn't want you to hate him." Jimmy's lips twitched as Seth just stared at him. "The mother fucker fucked Wyatt. He fucking cheated on you and Roman with the man that had your family kidnapped and left Roman fucking paralyzed."

"No." Seth wasn't hearing it. Dean wouldn't have done that."

"Oh yeah." Jimmy looked to Naomi for support. "Fucking tell him."

"Jimmy stop." Naomi didn't deny what had been said. She didn't deny it for a second. Seth felt his stomach drop down to the floor.

"He fucking did it." Jimmy was on a roll. All the pain he had been feeling since Jey's death was clearly manifesting itself in these words. "We should have just all gave up on him then. He clearly wanted to be Bray's stupid little whore any -"

Seth didn't let him finish that sentence. He lunged forward, driving his shoulder into Jimmy's stomach. The force of his spear sent them both crashing to the ground.

"STOP!" Naomi immediately went to pull them apart. "GUYS NO!"

Seth couldn't ball up his fists but he tried smacking at Jimmy's face anyway. The impact of his blows had him howling in pain. Jimmy used that to his advantage and flipped them over so he was on top. He raised his fist, fully prepared to nail Seth in the face. Naomi grabbed his arm before he could bring it down and she used all her strength to yank him off Seth.

"FUCKING STOP!" The instant she had them apart Naomi put herself in the middle and held them both off at arm's length. "This is STUPID! Fucking STOP!"

Seth scrambled up to his feet, not taking his eyes off Jimmy for an instant. Jimmy was glaring at him, his face blazing with fury. Naomi looked back and forth between them, her eyes pleading with them not to do this anymore. Seth almost felt bad for her sake. He wanted to apologize to her. But he didn't. Not now. Not with Jimmy's words swimming in his head. He knew Jimmy was just angry and grieving, but that didn't stop the rage from swirling in his stomach. Even if he felt responsible for this, he wouldn't stand for Jimmy putting the blame on Roman and Dean. He fucking wouldn't. Roman would fucking die on the inside if he knew Jimmy blamed him. And Dean...well, he would be the same if he were there. He swallowed hard and tried to push away the shit that had been said about Dean and Bray. Bray had to have tricked Dean into doing that somehow. Yeah. He tricked him. That was the shit Bray was good at. He got into Dean's head and manipulated him. He pulled his strings and made him into a puppet. Dean struggled to fight him. He wanted to, but it was hard when Bray knew just how to play him.

"Fuck this," Jimmy growled. He stormed out, slamming the door behind him with a sobering finality. Seth and Naomi stayed rooted where they stood, neither moving for a long moment.

"Seth." Naomi finally turned to look at him. "I'm -"

"Save it." He waved her off. "Go after him. Make sure he don't do anything stupid."

Naomi looked at him apologetically before leaving. Seth waited until the door shut behind her before flopping down on the bed. He let out a shaky breath and rubbed his face. He didn't even want to think about having to tell Roman that Jimmy blamed them and Dean for everything. That would only hurt him more and further tear everyone apart. "Fuck!" He punched the bed in frustration. "Fuck fuck fuck!"


	25. Chapter 25

Dean couldn't stop crying. He couldn't breathe. His heart wouldn't stop pounding and his stomach wouldn't stop rolling. He didn't know how long he had been laying there. Time had stopped having any meaning to him. The blindfold meant he was constantly trapped in darkness. What he did know was that it felt like forever. His arm and legs had long gone numb. There should have been a relief considering how bad his limbs had hurt, but the numbness only scared him further. He wanted to call out to Bray again but he couldn't. He had worn out his voice and it hadn't really come back. His throat was scratchy and burned. He needed a drink. He didn't remember the last time he had gotten a drink. He didn't remember the last time he had eaten either. It felt like an entire life time ago. He couldn't even fathom eating now. Even as his stomach started to rumble, it still twisted and lurched too much to even think he would be able to keep anything down. He desperately needed a drink though. He couldn't even try to form spit his mouth was so dry. Bray. He needed Bray to give him something.

He opened his mouth to speak, but all that came out was a hoarse croak. He didn't know where Bray was. Bray had said something about getting stuff, but that didn't really mean a whole hell of a lot. It felt like he had been gone forever. Dean didn't like it. He couldn't take much more of being alone. The anxiety was becoming worse and worse. He was going to die like this. He was going to fucking die just like this. He would starve to death or die of thirst or just have a heart attack right on the fucking spot.

_"And you deserve it. Look at what you did."_

Dean whimpered. Seth. That was Seth's voice. But it wasn't the Seth he was used to. This Seth had a twisted voice. It was filled with such hate. Dean had never heard it that way before. Not even when they had been trying to tear each other apart in FCW had he ever sounded like this.

_"You got Roman killed."_ Seth's voice wasn't about to spare him for a second. _"You got Jey killed. You ruined mine and Jimmy's lives. You ruin everything you touch. You always have."_

Dean tried to block out the voice. He knew this was true, but hearing it was too much.

_"You destroyed Roman's family. You destroyed the love of my life. You've even destroyed Bray's mind. You're fucking poison."_

Dean shuddered. He wanted to apologize. To beg for forgiveness. But what good was it? He didn't deserve it. It wouldn't change anything.

_"I should have killed you before you were born."_ Suddenly Seth's voice was gone. In its place was his mother's. It wasn't a sound he had heard in years, but he could still hear it plain as day. It was just as twisted and ugly as Seth's had been. _"I tried to actually. I was at the abortion clinic but I was too far along and they wouldn't do it."_ She chucked bitterly. _"I shouldn't have let that stop me. I knew a guy who knew some people. All I would have had to do was give them a little piece of my pie and they would have cut you right out of me."_

"Stop," he finally managed to whimper. "Mommy please..."

_"I could have saved everyone a whole lot of time and trouble if I had done it. Hell, it would have saved ME from all the trouble you caused."_

"Stop please..."

_"You ruined everything. You made your father leave me. All my other men couldn't stand the sight of you and took it out on me."_

There was a time he would have argued those words. He would have told her she had just dated pieces of shit who lived to hurt the both of them. But that time was gone. He had no argument for them anymore. Instead he just listened, believing she was right with everything. All he had done to anyone was fuck up everything. He was bad. He was so bad.

"Little lamb."

Dean gasped as he felt the hand on his face. He hadn't heard Bray come in. Had he been asleep and the voices of Seth and his mother had come in a dream? He didn't know. He felt so out of it that he couldn't fucking tell anymore. The only thing he could tell was that Bray was actually there. He knew the hand cupping his face better than anything. He pressed his cheek against it, whimpering as he felt Bray's thumb wipe away a stray tear.

"No more of that darlin." Bray moved his hand off his cheek while the other slid under his head. "Come here now. I got something for you."

Dean felt Bray move his head off the bed, tilting it forward before pressing something against his lips. A bottler. Water bottle. Water. He groaned as Bray allowed him the drink, the cool liquid nice but not nearly enough given the mere sip he was given. He wanted to down the whole thing at once.

"Easy now." Bray allowed him just a little more before taking it away. He held his head up more, making sure he wouldn't choke before settling him back down. "There we go."

It didn't feel like enough. Dean's throat begged for more but he kept quiet. He just tried to keep still as he waited to see what Bray would do. He wasn't touching him but he felt his presence. It was enough to keep the voices from before quiet. But how long would it last? Would he hear them again when he slept? Would they just wait until Bray left again? He didn't know. He didn't want to know.

"I got to change your bandages darlin." Bray's voice cut through his thoughts. "I got some supplies while I was gone. Got some stuff to take care of you." The mattress shifted and Dean heard the rustling of a bag. "Just hold still for me."

It wasn't as if Dean had much of a choice in the matter. The only thing he could really move anymore was his head. He kept that completely still though, wanting to be good. He didn't want to make Bray mad again. He didn't want him to hurt him or even worse, to go away. Sure Bray wouldn't leave for good, but the thought of being alone again for any amount of time was too much for Dean. Being bound and blinded was bad enough in itself. He couldn't be alone again. Not now. Maybe not ever.

Dean couldn't see what Bray had gotten, but he heard the sound of the scissors cutting through the bandages. He remained still, barely daring to breathe. The doctors had wrapped the bandages all around his abdomen after putting in the stitches. What Bray planned to do about those was something he didn't ask. Instead he focused on keeping completely still. His body begged to shiver but he didn't dare. Bray would surely get mad. Bray would do something bad. He didn't want either of those things. His body couldn't take another punishment. And he didn't want Bray mad at him. Not now. Bray was what he had left. He needed him. He fucking did. He couldn't tell himself any different. It was more than a lie at this point. He was helpless at the moment. And even if he got untied, where would he go? Who could he turn to? Nobody except Bray.

"You're doing so good for me little lamb." Bray's fingers lightly trailed near the stitches. Dean nearly sucked in a harsh breath but just managed to stop himself. "It looks like it's healing alright. A few more days and I'll get those right out of you."

The fact that Bray said he would be doing it didn't surprise Dean. Being taken to a hospital for it would have never crossed his mind.

Bray carefully put on new bandages, sliding a hand under Dean's body and lifting him up just enough to get the bandages around him. Dean kept still the whole time, not relaxing until he felt Bray finish. "Such a good little lamb." Dean felt Bray moving and suddenly felt the larger man hovering over him. He felt his breath catch in his throat. His heart skipped a beat inside his chest. "See what happens when you're a good little lamb for me?"

Dean stayed quiet, unsure if he was supposed to answer or not. He couldn't see Bray's expression but he felt his lips start trailing kisses all across his face. Between every kisses was murmured praise. He was being such a good little lamb. He wanted him to keep being such a good little lamb for him. That he was his forever and they didn't need anyone else. Dean didn't argue with the words. He couldn't...and he didn't want to.

God help him he didn't fucking want to fight anymore.

* * *

Roman's eyes felt heavy as he kept his gaze on the TV. He couldn't sleep again. His body begged for it, but it wasn't happening. Seth had at least finally passed out. He had been having the same problems as him, but his body had at least finally given out on him and allowed him the rest. Roman kept an arm locked around him, holding him because they both needed it. Seth had been quiet lately, clearly taking everything that had happened out on himself. Roman knew that was how he was. It hurt him terribly to see it. He wanted to make it better. But there was nothing he could really do. He couldn't make a lead about Dean's whereabouts appear out of thin air. The police kept reassuring them that they were doing everything they could, but it didn't seem to be enough. Bray wasn't at his childhood home. He wasn't at the old compound. Nobody knew where the other Wyatt family members were. They were at a loss. Bray had effectively disappeared with Dean and the thought made Roman so sick to his stomach. Dean had been trying so hard to recover from the things Bray had done to him. Bray had not only created new issues in him, but exasperated and unraveled things Dean had been trying to recover from to begin with. Roman knew it was hard and he and Seth had been trying so hard to help him. It hadn't been easy by any stretch of the imagination. But he had thought they were doing okay. And now that was gone. Bray was surely working to undo any progress Dean had made in his absence. And while Dean had come to a place where he wanted to fight Bray, he had done so when he had him and Seth firmly on his side. That support system wasn't there now. Roman could only imagine how scared Dean was. And he certainly didn't want to think about just what exactly Bray was doing.

A whimper from Seth made Roman tense up. He waited, seeing if Seth would awaken. There was another whimper and then a twitch and then nothing. He slept on, though he looked highly distressed. Roman tightened his grip on him. He thought about waking him up to check on him. But then what would be the point? Seth needed the rest. And he wouldn't want to talk about anything he was dreaming about anyway. So Roman just kissed the top of his head and looked to his phone. He had text messages from several members of his family that he still needed to respond to. He scrolled through them, checking off the names in his head. His mother, his father, his brother, Dwayne, Tamina, Naomi, a couple of cousins...but not Jimmy. Out of all the calls, texts and visits he had gotten, he hadn't seen or heard from Jimmy once. He had tried contacting him. He had told Naomi to have Jimmy answer him back or bring him by. He had asked Seth to try to reach out to him. All he had gotten were uncomfortable looks and quick changes of subjects. It worried him. He was starting to think Jimmy was mad at him or something. The denials Naomi and Seth offered at that suggestion were really weak. It only added to his stress.

He tried to shake it off again and go back to watching TV. It was some rerun of Supernatural that he was fairly certain Seth had made him watch before. It felt like it was one of the episodes that he had liked more, but he still couldn't get into it. He couldn't take much more of just sitting there. He hated being helpless. He hated being useless. He was used to taking care of everyone in some form or fashion. And now he couldn't do anything. It was hell. This was hell.

His phone rang. He looked down at it. It was his mother. There was a moment he considered ignoring it. He could just tell her that he had been asleep. But he couldn't bring himself to do it. Not texting her back right away was one thing. He couldn't just not answer her call. He pressed the button and put the phone up to his ear. "Hello?"

"Roman..."

Just the way she said his name made his heart sink. She hadn't sounded like that since the day she called to tell him about Umaga's passing. "What happened?"

"Oh baby..."

"Mom what happened?"

"Jimmy hung himself."

The words were a knockout punch right to Roman's heart. He tried to speak, but nothing came out. Jimmy was dead? No...no no no. Not him too. "Mama no..."

"I'm sorry." She was in tears. She didn't cry over much, but a thing like this always did it. "Naomi and I found him. I don't think he could bear to go on without Jey."

But what about the rest of them? What about Naomi, who adored the ground Jimmy walked on? What about him? He and Jey hadn't just been his cousins; they had been his best friends. And now they were both gone. They were gone and what was left? A broken family who would never recover.

"Baby can you talk to me?"

No. He couldn't. His throat had constricted so tightly that he could barely breathe, let alone talk. The phone slipped out of his hand. He didn't bother to see where it fell. Instead he closed his eyes, his strength just sapping out of him. Tears slipped out and he couldn't stop them. Not now. Not after everything. And with Seth still sleeping and Dean gone, he could take off his brave face, just for a little while.

* * *

From the beginning there had been things Dean did that were unlike anything that anyone else in Bray's life had done. The way he said his name, the way he fit against him like a piece Bray hadn't known was missing, the way his soul screamed in need, even if his mind and heart tried to deny it; but Bray's most favorite thing had always been watching Dean come undone. In sex it was always quite a sight in itself. Blue eyes would shut, pale pink lips would part, blunt fingernails would claw desperately at Bray's back, begging for release...but even that paled in comparison to how Dean was falling apart now. If he had thought Dean had been broken before, it was nothing compared to now. Dean remained on the bed, weight rapidly falling off as he drank little and ate even less. The blindfold kept half his face covered, but Bray knew he slept very little. Nightmares and possibly even guilt inspired hallucinations kept him awake and in an almost constant near panic. He whimpered and whined practically nonstop, only growing quiet when Bray made his presence known. At first Bray thought he was just doing it to be good. But then the cries for Bray to come back and let him go turned into just cries for Bray to come back. He didn't ask to be untied anymore. He didn't try to offer any resistance when Bray spoke to him. He didn't even flinch when Bray touched him. He wasn't hiding from the fact that he needed him. Hell, he was finally embracing it. And it was just too fucking beautiful.

"Bray..." A miserable croak filled the silence. Bray stood at the doorway, having crept there without Dean realizing it. He had taken off for a couple of hours to do work around the farm. If this was going to be their home he needed to have it nice to live in. In the time he had been gone it seemed like Dean had done nothing but cry for him again. It was marvelous. "Bray please..." He coughed, wheezing so loudly Bray almost grabbed some water for him. "Come back. Come back please come back..."

"Why should I?" Bray grinned as Dean gasped. "What exactly do you need from me darlin?"

Dean just whimpered, acting as if that was a sufficient answer.

"No no no no." Bray wasn't having that. "What do you need darlin?"

"...You."

"What was that?"

"You." The response was a little louder this time.

"And what do you want?"

"You."

Bray walked over to the bed, coming to a stop right beside it. He reached down and rested a hand against Dean's throat. Dean kept still. He added a tiny bit of pressure. A whimper, but Dean actually arched into the touch. This was it."Who's the only one that loves you?"

"You." The answers were automatic. No hesitation. No fight. From the way he said it Bray knew he had finally accepted it. There was nothing and nobody left to hide behind.

"And do you love me?"

"Yes."

"What now?"

Bray felt Dean's throat bob as he swallowed hard. "Yes."

"Are you sure?" Bray tilted his head to the side. "You've told me this before and I'm pretty sure it was a trick."

The distressed sound that flew out of Dean's mouth was unlike Bray had ever heard before. "I love you. I do. I do I do." The words came out rapidly, the desperation just shining through. The final barrier had been crossed. "I love you don't leave me too. Please don't leave me please..."

"Hey hey hey." Bray let go of Dean's throat and tugged on the blindfold. "Easy there darlin." He pulled the blindfold off completely and tossed it away. The room wasn't even lit beyond the sun coming in through the window, but that was still too much for Dean after all this time. He had to shut his eyes and turn his head away, a whimper of pain escaping him. "Listen to me little lamb." Bray sat down beside him and stroked his fingers over his cheek. "You know I'm not going anywhere. You don't need to be talking like that." He moved Dean's head back where he wanted it and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. "I wouldn't go anywhere without taking you too darlin."

Dean nodded weakly, his eyes still closed. Bray allowed it for now. He turned his attention to the ropes that had kept Dean bound to the bed for so long. He undid the one holding his arm and gently began to massage the feeling back into the numb limb. Dean groaned, his body involuntarily twitching as Bray kept slowly working it over. He tried to be gentle, making sure to include Dean's shoulder and avoid his wrist, which was raw from his previous struggles against the rope.

"Ow..." Despite Bray's best attempts, the pins and needles feeling still clearly spread through Dean's arm. "Ow ow ow ow..."

"Ssshhhh." Bray kept going, leaning down every now and then to place little kisses over where he rubbed. "It'll pass. Just trust me.'

Dean whimpered but kept himself more quiet. Bray kept massaging his arm, eventually moving it up and down before letting it rest down by his side. He untied Dean's legs next, working them over like he did his arm. Once he was satisfied he carefully scooped Dean off the bed and stood up. He wasn't going to try to get him to walk yet. Dean would only fall and hurt himself if they tried that. Instead he carried him out of the room, taking him to the kitchen and setting him on the chair. Even then he nearly toppled right over. Bray had to grab him and hold him in place. His eyes were still closed, his head trying to turn away from the light coming in through the window.

"Little lamb." Bray grabbed Dean's head and turned it so he would fully face him. "Open your eyes. Look at me."

Dean was slow to comply, though not from disobedience. He had gotten so used to being blindfolded that his eyes couldn't take any bit of light around him. Bray just waited patiently, watching the tears clear and blue orbs finally fully meeting his. He could literally see the surrender shining through. There were no more barriers to cross. No more obstacles in his path. Bray surged forward and kissed Dean harshly, relishing in the soft moan he got from the smaller man. Dean's lips moved against his weakly, his one usable hand gripping Bray's shirt. He almost wished that Roman and Seth were there just to see this. To see that their fight had been futile. Dean was meant to be his. He had been created for him. All that had come from fighting it had been pain and suffering for many.

But that was their burden to bear. He had no reason to care for any of it. He had won his war. Dean was his. Forever his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll confess, i wanted to surprise you guys with an earlier update but when you combine subject matter with my work schedule it makes it hard to get it out as fast as I want. One of these days I'll somehow manage it.
> 
> And since I'm making an author's note I might as well thank you all for reading and reviewing and the like. We got some miles to go before we reach the end of this thing, but I just want you know I appreciate you all.


	26. Chapter 26

The moon was hidden behind clouds so Bray had lit a bunch of candles to illuminate the room. The flames cast a soft glow against their naked bodies. He and Dean were back in their bed, the blankets not pulled up because he didn't want a single inch of Dean to be covered. He laid over Dean, his arms resting on either side of Dean's body while their mouths met over and over again. There was a rather pronounced difference in their kisses. Bray's were almost lazy in their slowness. There was no need to rush anymore. He could take every single second that he wanted to relish in having Dean all to himself. Dean's kisses on the other hand were so desperate. So needy. He whimpered after each one, his good arm wrapped around Bray in a desperate bid to cling to him. He was still weak from how little he had been fed before. His grip wasn't that strong despite his efforts and he could barely keep his legs locked around Bray's waist. But that was fine. Bray could build his body back up with time.

"Look at you darlin." Bray broke the kiss and moved his head back just enough to gaze down at Dean's face. "My perfect little lamb."

Dean's breath hitched. He stared up at Bray with wide eyes, his head moving to rub against the fingers Bray had running down against his cheek. Bray barely bit back a laugh. He was just so starved for any bit of affection. The time he had spent bound to the bed had a bigger affect than Bray had thought.

They kissed again, though Bray only let their lips stay together briefly. He soon moved his to Dean's jaw, kissing his way across it before moving lower. First came Dean's neck, his teeth lightly scraping across his rapid moving pulse. He moved from Dean's neck to his chest, his attention zeroing in on the scar around Dean's left nipple. It was the one he had nearly lost in a match against Jimmy Jacobs. Normally he loved biting it just to hear the yelp of pain Dean would let out. But he held back tonight. Tonight wasn't for that. It wouldn't be that for awhile again really. Not when they were in the rebuilding process. Instead he slowly ran the tip of his tongue across the scar instead, loving the way Dean shivered so much that he did it again.

"Bray..." Dean's whimper was barely audible, even to Bray's ears.

"What is it little lamb?" Bray put his hand on Dean's chest just to feel how fast his heart was beating.

Dean sat himself up and tried to push Bray over on his back. His cast covered arm stayed cradled by his torso as his free arm struggled to get Bray over. Bray moved for him, barely getting settled on the mattress before Dean was down between his legs. Dean's warm, wet mouth wrapped around his cock oh so eagerly. Bray smirked, letting a hand rest against Dean's bobbing head. Dean was sloppy, using a rather obscene amount of spit and nearly choking himself as he went. But the eagerness to please charmed Bray. "That's it darlin." Bray propped himself up on an elbow and threaded his fingers through Dean's hair. "That's it. You're being such a good little lamb for me."

Dean looked up at him, his eyes shining from the praise. He hollowed his cheeks and sucked harder, his tongue working expertly along the length. Bray groaned and tightened his grip on Dean's hair. It would be easy to let him keep going. It would be easy to find his release in that warm, wet mouth. But despite wanting that, he wanted something else more.

"Come here." Bray pulled Dean back up, flipping them back over so Dean was the one laying back once again. "Stay here." He started to get off the bed when Dean grabbed his arm. "Little lamb -"

"Don't leave me." The plea was nothing more than a broken whimper. "Bray don't please..."

"I'm just grabbing something darlin." Bray pried Dean's fingers off him. "I'll be right back."

Dean whimpered but stopped fighting. Bray didn't go far. The dresser that he had set the bottle of lube on was just across the room. It had been among the stuff he had bought when he gone for supplies. He grabbed the bottle and came right back to the bed. His lips reclaimed Dean's, teeth nipping lightly on Dean's lower lip. He popped the cap off the bottle and poured a generous amount of lube on his fingers. He rubbed them together to warm them before moving his hand between Dean's legs. He kept their mouths locked together as he slowly slid his fingers in one by one. Dean moaned as each one went in, finally breaking the kiss as the third one moved in him.

"Oh fuck Bray please..."

"Sshhhh. Let me take care of you." Bray moved his fingers slowly, torturing both of them at this pace. He crooked his fingers, seeking out Dean's sweet spot. He found it easily and grinned as Dean's hips bucked against his fingers. "That feel good little lamb?"

The whine Dean let out answered that one. He moved as much as he could against Bray's fingers, impatient for more.

"What do you want from me little lamb?" Bray wanted to just do it. He knew what Dean wanted and he was more than ready to give it. But he wanted - no, he _needed_ \- Dean to say it.

"Fuck me." Dean didn't need it dragged out of him. Not this time. "Bray please. I need you inside me."

How could a plea like that be ignored? It couldn't. Bray slipped his fingers out and grabbed the bottle of lube again. He poured it in the palm of his hand and coated his shaft. Dean watched his every move, his breathing getting faster as he waited. Bray positioned himself between Dean's legs, pressing his forehead to his as he slowly slid inside. He felt his own breathing hitch as he watched Dean's eyes flutter shut. Beautiful. He was beautiful. Bray couldn't remember a single thing that he had ever seen that was more beautiful than his Dean. He moved Dean's good arm up above his head and clasped his hand in his own. His other hand slid under Dean's body to hold him more tightly against him. He kept his thrusts slow, enjoying the warm heat that pulled him deeper and deeper in.

Dean's lips found his again, his kisses still needy as ever. Bray let go of his hand to cup his face gently. Dean's arm moved around to cling to him, his blunt nails digging against his back. Bray could tell he wanted to cling with his other hand too. He wanted the use of his broken arm back. They still had weeks to go before that could happen though. Bray wasn't sure how he would get it off yet. He would have to figure it out. For now he didn't want to look at it. He didn't want the reminder of how Dean had gotten it. He didn't want to think about how he had almost lost him. Luke had tried to take him away. The mere thought of it made him want to kill Luke all over again. He had told him Dean was his. He should have accepted it. Luke was supposed to obey. That was what Bray had taught him. Obey. Serve him. Get his salvation through him. But he had strayed and nearly took the thing Bray cared about the most. Bray hadn't had a choice but to kill him.

Bray's hips moved faster now. He could tell by the way Dean whimpered that he wouldn't last much longer. He could feel Dean's hardness pressing against his stomach, precum smearing across him with every move he made. He slid his hand down between them and gripped the base of Dean's shaft. "Do you want to cum little lamb?" He gave the length a couple of slow, teasing strokes, his thumb swiping across the slit before settling his grip back down at the base. "Huh? Do you want to cum for me?"

Dean nearly headbutted Bray as he nodded desperately. "Please." He nearly sobbed as he said the word. "Please please please let me cum. Fuck Bray please..."

That was more than enough for him. Bray resumed his stroking, bringing Dean to his release in short order. Watching Dean's face as he came undone and feeling his walls tighten around his cock made Bray follow suit. His movements finally ceased. The only sound in the room was their breathing. Bray buried his face in Dean's neck, his tongue slowly circling over the sweaty skin. He felt Dean bury his own face against him and smiled. He needed to get them cleaned up but had no interest in getting up to do that yet. He was just fine right where he was at.

* * *

 

The day of Jimmy and Jey's funeral brought in a gloomy rain that seemed all too fitting. The graveside service seemed like it would never end. Seth stood by Roman, holding an umbrella over both of them. Roman was back to being confined in a wheelchair again, mostly as a precaution for not reaggravating his injuries. He hated it, but Seth was just happy to have him alive and out of the hospital. It was about the only thing he really had going for him. Everything else was pure misery. Dean was still gone and Roman's family was consumed by grief. Naomi was on the other side of Seth, gripping Tamina's hand tightly. She was the only one not openly crying to some degree. Her eyes were dull and her face was set in a blank slate. She had been numb ever since Jimmy had died. Not that Seth blamed her. She was probably better off anyway. Numbness was better than the pain. Roman was trapped in the pain and looked like he just wanted to die. It broke Seth's heart to see.

When the service ended they all ended up gathering back at Roman's parents' house. The mood was hardly better there than it had been at the graveyard. Seth finally couldn't take it. He made sure Roman was being consoled and taken care of by his mother and a couple of his aunts before going upstairs to one of the guest rooms. He felt bad for taking off, but he needed a moment to himself. He felt like he was going to lose it and didn't want to do that in front of everyone. He locked the door behind him before going to sit at the window. He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against the cool glass. He didn't want to cry. He didn't. Not again. It wouldn't solve anything. But he felt a few tears slip out anyway. His heart ached for Roman and Naomi and the rest of their family. His heart ached for Dean and whatever it was Bray was putting him through. It just ached and ached and he didn't know how to make it stop.

He opened his eyes and felt his heart leap up to his throat. The yard was filled with people. People he didn't fucking recognize. All except one. The little girl Roman had threatened the night they had saved Dean from the old compound. She was right there, sitting on the shoulders of one of the large, bearded men. Isabella. That was what Dean said her name was. Dean had mentioned the fact that Bray had actually fathered children among his followers and she was not only one, but the one he favored. "Oh god..." Seth didn't want to know why they were there. He fucking didn't. No answer could possibly be good.

He jumped up and shoved his hand in his pocket. He pulled out his phone and fumbled to dial the number he needed. "Come on," he muttered under his breath. He cast an anxious look at the window as the phone rang. "Come on come on..."

"Hello?" Detective Keaton finally answered.

"It's Seth." Seth barely recognized his own voice as he spoke. "Wyatt's family is here."

"Wait what?" That certainly got the detective's attention.

"Wyatt's family is here. At Roman's parents house." Seth swallowed nervously. He knew Keaton was around. He had been at the funeral, choosing to come down and pay respects. He had been among the few who hadn't come back to the house though and now he needed to be the one to swoop in and play calvary."

"Have they done anything? How many are there?"

"No and like, a dozen of them. Those are the ones I can see anyway."

Keaton let out a string of curses. "Try to keep them out of the house. I'll have people there as fast as I can."

Seth nodded, hanging up the phone so Keaton could make those calls. He had to warn the others. He couldn't let them get hurt. He ran from the room, nearly tripping and falling over his own feet as he went. What the fuck could he say that wouldn't cause a panic? Or wouldn't make anyone think they should go out there and try to confront the group? He had no idea what these people were capable of on their own. They were dangerous under Bray's orders, but what were they like without him? Were they more harmless or were more dangerous like Luke had been? He didn't want to know. He really fucking didn't.

"Tamina get the door!" Pattle ordered as the first knock came.

"NO!" Seth all but flew down the remaining steps.

Tamina stopped and turned to him, much like everyone else. "Seth what -"

"Wyatts!" Seth waved his hands around wildly as he spoke. "Everywhere. All out there."

Roman's eyes widened. "Bray too?"

Seth shook his head, his heart still managing to find a way to break again as Roman's face fell. If Bray had been there that would mean Dean would be somewhere close. "The rest of them. The ones from the compound before. And that girl. Bray's daughter."

"Daughter?" Patti made a face. "Someone bred with that thing?"

The question was almost comical in the way she asked it. Seth had no time to find a way to laugh though. Not with the fist beating against the door. A hand jiggled the doorknob, trying to force it open. Faces pressed against the living room window, staring at them and salivating to get in. The kids screamed before being grabbed and dragged upstairs for safety. Sika was yelling orders but none were registering in Seth's brain. All he could hear was the banging. On the front door, on the back, on the windows...they were going to get in. That was all he could think. They were going to get in and they would be fucked before the cops even got there.

"EVERYONE DOWN!"

Tamina's shout was a near heart attack causer in itself. Seth whirled around, his eyes bugging at the sight he saw. Somewhere in the chaos she and Naomi had grabbed Sika's guns from his office. Tamina had hers pointed at the window, scaring off the Wyatts who were trying to break it. Naomi was heading for the back door, shaking off everyone who was trying to stop her. Her blank expression was gone now. In its place was a fury Seth had never seen from her before.

"Oh god," Roman turned his chair and tried to head after her. "She's gonna go out there."

"She's WHAT?" Seth said incredulously.

"Nay just cover the door!" Tamina still had her gun raised, ready to shoot at anyone who managed to get in the front door or tried the windows again. "Patti's calling for help just cover the back door!"

It became covered alright. Seth heard the door bust open followed by two immediate gunshots. He all but jumped over Roman and his chair and beat everyone to the kitchen first. Two Wyatt members were down, their blood soaking the floor. Naomi's gun was still raised, but now she hesitated. The lone member standing before them was Isabella. She looked down at her fallen brethren, her little face contorting in fury.

"You took them away." She stepped over the bodies and stalked towards them, stopping just a foot away from the end of Naomi's gun. "Your bad friend killed Brother Luke and Brother Erick and took Brother Bray away." Her eyes narrowed as she recognized Seth. "You know where he took him didn't you?"

"First off kid, Bray took Dean away, not the other way around." Seth put a hand on Naomi's shoulder, trying to pull her back. The idea of Naomi getting rid of the anti-christ standing before them was good but...well actually he couldn't find it in him to think of it as anything but good. "Bray's been trying to take him away from the beginning and now he fucking actually did it. Dean didn't do anything."

"Liar." Her blue eyes blazed and Seth felt a chill go up his spine. He could see Bray in her eyes. God help them all, she was going to grow up to be just like him. "He poisoned Bray. Brother Luke said he did."

"Luke was a damn maniac just like Bray -"

Seth's words set her off. He barely had time to blink before she was launching herself at him, her little fists beating against his chest. Naomi tried to pull her off and got bit on the hand for her trouble. Before her blows to Seth could renew Roman scooped her up and set her on his chair with him, his arms locked around her in a bear hug. She struggled against him, her eyes wild and her mouth nearly foaming as she tried to get free.

"YOU RUINED IT!" Her shrieking was so loud it almost masked the sounds of the approaching sirens. "YOU RUINED EVERYTHING!"

There was so much irony in that statement considering she was a Wyatt. Seth just stared at her though, the chill still firmly implanted in his spine. Her eyes were too much like Bray's. She was going to be another him. Even if they found Bray and killed him, she would just rise up and take his place. He wanted to tell Naomi to shoot her. Or take the gun and do it himself. But before he could make the move, the cops were in, being led by Keaton. A few members of the family had ran, but the rest were taken into custody. Isabella was taken kicking and screaming into a back of the police car. Seth didn't think for a second she would be going to jail like the rest. No, she and any other children they would find from that group would go to child services and be unleashed on some poor, unsuspecting family. "Fucking poor bastards," Seth muttered under his breath.

Roman frowned and looked at him. They were outside on the porch now, watching the Wyatts being carted off. "What?"

Seth shook his head. He kept his eyes on Isabella, who was giving him murderous looks from the car she had been placed in. "Should have did her in when we had a chance."

Roman looked appalled. "She's a child Seth."

"You threatened her once."

"I was bluffing to save Dean! We were fucking lucky Wyatt didn't call me on it."

Right. Of course. Roman didn't have it in him to actually hurt a kid. "Still should have done her in." Seth turned around completely, unable to keep looking at her anymore. "She'll destroy anyone they give her to. Just like Bray fucking destroyed us."

"Seth..."

Seth shook his head and went back into the house. He needed a fucking drink.


	27. Chapter 27

Dean stared down at the ground as he traced the end of a stick against the mud. It had rained practically nonstop for the past several days and had only just really cleared up. Bray had wanted to come out and so here they were. Bray had taken him by the hand and explored the land just beyond the farm. It was miles from any town so they had the freedom to do what they wanted. Bray had talked the whole time and Dean had hung on to every word. The sound of Bray's voice soothed him. It kept the bad voices at bay and the fact that he was listening so carefully made Bray happy. A happy Bray was a nice Bray. The concept was so simple. He didn't understand why he hadn't embraced that before. He had hugged Bray's arm with his good one the whole time, needing his support because he still felt kind of weak. But it was okay because Bray was strong. Bray made sure he didn't fall. Bray kissed the top of his head and finally let them stop by the pond they found to let him rest. He stood right by Dean's side, his hands shoved into his pockets as he stared out into the water. He hadn't talked as much since they had stopped. He was thinking about something, but Dean didn't ask what. He just kept dragging the stick against the mud, making no real pattern in particular with it. It was nice out here. Peaceful.

"I had a pond like this not far from where I grew up." Bray's voice made Dean immediately look up at him. "My father stuck to the river to catch his shrimp, so I got to keep the pond for myself." He took his hands out of his pockets and sat down next to Dean. Dean immediately leaned against him, sighing happily as Bray wrapped an arm around him. "Sometimes when it was warm enough I'd camp out by it just so I wouldn't have to be around him. I didn't have a tent, but I would just have some blankets and I would lay under the stars." He glanced up at the sky, squinting up at the sun. "I used to wonder what it would be like if my mother had actually survived my birth. I heard people claim my father loved her above all else and her death turned him into a monster."

"Do you think they were right?" Dean leaned his head against Bray, snuggling his face against his Hawaiin shirt.

Bray shrugged. "It's hard to. It's easy to see how he could have been as mean of a snake to her too." His fingers found Dean's hair and stroked it gently. "Maybe I just took his favorite victim away from him and punished me for it."

Dean frowned and picked at the frayed edges of his jeans. "I'm sorry..."

"Why?" Bray looked down at him with a frown. "I took care of him." He tilted Dean's head back so he was looking him in the eye. "He burned just like the rest of them will." He smiled, his eyes dancing with a dark, maniacal glee. "And then you'll know what'll happen?"

"We'll stand on their ashes," Dean answered. He could have answered that one in his sleep. That was Bray's favorite mantra. They were the only thing that would last. Him because he was with Bray and Bray becasue...well he was Bray. He wasn't going anywhere. People always left him but not Bray. Even when he had been bad and tried to make him leave he stayed. It was more than he deserved really.

"Good boy." Bray rewarded him with a kiss. Dean returned it eagerly, moaning as Bray lightly sucked on his lower lip. He expected to be laid back against the mud and taken right then and there. Instead Bray pulled back, giving him such an intense look that he wilted because he thought he did something wrong.

"You ever think about them darlin?"

Dean wasn't entirely sure who in particular Bray was talking about so he just shook his head. He hadn't given anyone else much thought so he wasn't lying.

"Not Seth or Roman?"

Dean shook his head again. A pang of guilt shot through his chest but he shoved it away. He didn't want to think of them. He had gotten Roman killed by thinking he could be with them and ruined Seth's life. He should have stayed away from them. Bray was the only one who could withstand the poison he brought with his mere presence.

"Or those Usos?"

Another shake of the head. Jey had tried so hard to be his friend and what had that gotten him? Killed, just like Roman. Jimmy was definitely out there somewhere now, hating him just as much if not more than Seth.

"What about your mother? or your father?"

"No..." Dean swallowed hard and rubbed his hand over his shin. "What's the point in that?" He tried to stop the shiver going down his spine and failed miserably. "They didn't want me. They both wished I died." He knew his mother had for sure at least. She had told him that quite a few times. And given that his father had gone off to get a new wife and had two children with her, he clearly felt the same way. "I used to wish he'd save me. I used to get so scared because Mom would always get so fucked up and her boyfriends were just so fucked up and mean to me. And then I found out he got a new family and I fucking just...it wasn't fair. I needed him and he left me."

"Because he didn't love you. Him, your mother, those Uso boys, Seth, Roman - nobody loves you except me." Bray grabbed his chin and squeezed it firmly. "Do you understand that now little lamb?"

Dean managed to nod.

"What was that?"

"Yes!" Dean winced, panicked that he hadn't answered right the first time. "Yes Bray please I'm sorry..."

"Shhhhhh." A kiss gently silenced him. "It's alright little lamb. It's alright."

Dean whimpered. It didn't feel alright. Not yet. He kept his lips latched to Bray's and laid back, getting Bray to follow him down and hover over him. He spread his legs apart, letting Bray settle in between them. It would be okay now. He would be sure of it.

* * *

"Just hold still for me darlin."

Dean let out a small whimper before clamming back up. They were on the bed, Bray straddling his legs with tweezers in one hand and surgical scissors in the other. Bray said it was time to get his stitches out. Dean supposed that was true, though the thought of doing it hadn't been one that made him happy. Stitches had always been one of his least favorite things in the world. It didn't matter if they were getting put in or getting taken out: the whole process bothered him and his freaked out mind made it seem more painful than it was in any actual reality. But he couldn't stomp his feet and refuse to cooperate this time. He wouldn't risk making Bray mad at him. So here he laid, staying as still as he could, barely daring to breathe because he didn't want to cause Bray to screw up. If this went wrong and something got infected then he would have to go to the hospital. If they went to the hospital then Bray would be asked questions he didn't want to be asked. If someone didn't like those answers they would take him away. And if they took him away he would have nothing. Nobody wanted him now except Bray. Bray needed him. He couldn't leave him. Not again.

Bray adjusted the lamp to make sure he had plenty of light. He had sterelized his tools with a pot of water he had boiled over a fire and had cleaned the stitched area with soapy water and rubbing alcohol. "Keep relaxing for me darlin." Bray lifted the knot with the tweezers and brought the scissors in to cut the first suture. Dean didn't allow himself to watch more than that. He closed his eyes and refused to let himself do anything but bite down on his lower lip. He tasted blood but he didn't care. He made himself try to focus on the metallic taste as opposed to Bray pulling and cutting away at his stitches. His body begged to be allowed to move. An annoying need to itch his nose nearly sent him into a tizzy. Fuck. Fuck fuck. "Bray..."

"Relax darlin. I can't rush this."

Dean bit down on his lip harder. If he bit it right off him now he wouldn't have even cared. He tried to control his breathing. He had to breathe. Slow and steady. He had to keep his breathing slow and steady. No moving his stomach during it. Maybe his chest if anything. In and out. In and out.

"Good boy." Even with his eyes closed, Dean could feel Bray smiling at him. "I'm almost done."

That didn't bring the comfort it was probably supposed to. It still seemed to take forever, and Dean found himself still wanting to panic. He couldn't do it. He couldn't. He had to trust Bray. He trusted him and he had to show it. Bray would get mad again if he thought he didn't. He couldn't make Bray mad. He couldn't disappoint him. He had to be good. He could be good.

"There we go."

Dean's eyes snapped back open. Bray had put the scissors and tweezers aside and was now happily humming as he cleaned and put on new bandages. Dean let out a shaky sigh of relief. "Did I do good?" he found himself asking. At one time he would have hated himself for it. He would have thought he was stupid and weak and...well he was those things. But that was okay because Bray accepted him for it. He didn't try to change him into something he couldn't be.

"You did good." Bray finished getting him all bandaged up before grabbing the supplies he had by him. "Stay right there. I'll be back."

Dean went back to being deathly still, not moving so much as an inch while Bray took the stuff to the other room. Once Bray returned he joined Dean on the bed, laughing as Dean tried to bury himself against his body. So much could probably be said about the move, but Dean didn't care. Any space between him and Bray was too much. He couldn't allow any for too long. He couldn't. He wouldn't. Not if he could help it.

* * *

"I don't know what you guys think we're going to accomplish with this..."

Tamina's statement went ignoed by Seth and Roman. Seth drove while Roman sat in the passenger's seat, constantly tapping his fingers against his own legs. They were in Mississippi, heading to the second compound the Wyatts had made for themselves. That compound had came to be after Bray had been shot and gone into his coma. The cops had managed to squeeze the location of it out of the weaker willed members of the Wyatt clan. Roman had prayed that it would lead to Dean's discovery, but that had been to no avail. Seth wasn't just willing to accept the word of the police though. He was convinced there was something they were missing. And now he was determined to find it. Roman hadn't wanted to fight with him over it. It hadn't been worth it. Seth had it set in his brain that he could do better and Roman knew it was better to just go with it. Both his and Seth's parents were concerned with the way he was acting. They said they were losing him now too. And maybe they were right. Seth's heart and mind were with Dean. Not with anyone else. Roman wasn't much better. Maybe he was doing a better job at fooling the people around him, but his composure was a facade. On the inside he was constantly screaming, his heart aching to get Dean back.

Tamina sighed at being ignored. She had been sent along to keep an eye on them by Patti, the older woman fearing that they would get into too much trouble on their own. Naomi was there too, joining them by her own choice. She had been quiet the whole ride, which wasn't anything unusual for her now. She had barely spoken a word since Jimmy's funeral. Roman had thought she had been traumatized by the whole thing with the Wyatts (nobody had thought to bring charges up against her at least for shooting two of them) but it was grief that kept her silent. Her heart ached for Jimmy. Roman was honestly afraid it would become too much for her and she would kill herself just like Jimmy had done. He didn't like thinking that way. He wanted to believe she could make it through this. But the doubt lingered on, making him want to throw up when he dwelled on it for too long.

"What do you think we're going to find that the police didn't already find?" Tamina wasn't giving up that easy. "Keaton said the place was searched with a fine tooth comb."

"I don't care," Seth grunted.

"Seth please, I think you're chasing ghosts here."

"I didn't fucking ask you to think you know."

"Hey hey hey." Roman frowned at Seth, knowing he needed to step in before Tamina kicked his teeth down his throat. "Come on now. She's bringing up a good point."

Seth gave him a nasty look. "So what, are you saying we should give up?"

"That's not what I'm saying." Oh fuck. He didn't want this to turn into a fight. He really didn't. "I just don't want you to get your hopes up and then be let down if we don't find what you think we're going to find."

"There's got to be something," Seth insisted stubbornly. "The cops don't know what they're looking for. They missed something. I know they did."

Roman gave Tamina and Naomi a look to beg them not to argue. He knew Seth was being scared and stubborn, but he didn't want to fight with him. Seth needed this hope. It was keeping him going and Roman didn't have the heart to take it away from him.

The new compound wasn't anywhere near as big as the one before it. There was one big house with a few other rather makeshift looking cabins around it. A couple more incomplete ones could be seen. Despite knowing nobody else was there, Roman still felt a chill go through him. How had so many people been blind to the monster that Bray was? He knew Bray had some brainwashing powers, but it was scary to think about how so many people had fallen to his will. That wasn't exactly inspiring hope on the Dean front. Roman forced that train of thought aside though. He didn't have time for it. He had to focus. If Seth was determined to find something then he had to try to help him. He couldn't lose him to their despair. Not if he could help it.

Seth barely had the car stopped before he was jumping out of it.

Roman tried to call after him, but nothing was stopping him. "Naomi can you..."

Naomi just nodded and headed out of the car. Roman watched her chase Seth into the main house, not taking his eyes away until his door opened.

"I'm going to strangle him," Tamina announced. She had gotten his wheelchair out and started helping him into it once he got his seatbelt undone. He was still being told not to try walking much under the fear of reaggravating his injuries. He absolutely despised it. He had worked hard to at least be able to use a walker. The fact that he wasn't even being allowed that pissed him off.

"He's just scared." Roman didn't want her and Seth fighting. He really didn't. It wasn't going to help anything.

"I know he's scared." Tamina got him settled into the chair and grabbed on to the handles. "We're all scared for Dean. But acting like that isn't going to find him."

"I know."

"Dragging us on wild goose chases isn't going to do it either."

"I know alright?" Now Roman was finding himself snapping. "Just humor us okay? He needs this hope." He swallowed hard and gave her a pleading look. "I need this hope."

She sighed; the look he gave her did her in. She stopped arguing and stopped pushing his chair towards the house. The wheels didn't like the grass and the mud but she soldiered on, getting him inside. The main house was old. Really old. The wood smelled musty and it creaked with every step or roll of the wheel taken. What had served as a living room was filled with only a couple of couches, a table by the window with a couple of chairs by it, and an old grandfather clock. There weren't any real possessions from the family to speak of. At least not from what Roman could see.

"Where should we start?" Tamina asked.

Roman tilted his head up, hearing footsteps coming from the floor above him. "See if there's a basement. I'll check this floor."

Tamina gave him a look. "Really? You want me to find a basement? That sounds like you want me dead or something."

He cringed. "I'm not...I just..."

"Kidding. I'll go." She clapped a hand to his shoulder and took off. "Yell if you need me."

He grunted and nodded. He waited until she was gone before he started wheeling himself around. Despite not seeing anything there Roman checked the living room more carefully before getting himself into the kitchen. There he found some stray toys on the floor and some plates that had been left on the table. They were dirty and Roman didn't even think to touch them. Instead he kept going, searching the bedrooms he found just beyond the kitchen. He searched and searched, trying to tear apart rooms that held nothing of note. He didn't want to face the truth that was rapidly trying to hit him. He didn't want Dean to be gone for good. He didn't want Bray to win. He couldn't win. He just couldn't.

"Roman!" Seth's voice reached his ears before his heavy footsteps came barreling for him. "Roman!"

"In here!"

Seth followed the sound of his voice, skidding to a stop. Tamina and Naomi weren't far behind him. "Look." Seth shoved an old picture into Roman's hand. "It's her. It's fucking her."

Roman frowned and looked at the picture. It was an old black and white photo of a young Sister Abigail. Roman could tell by her eyes that it was her. In the background was a barn and a three story house that looked older than the picture itself. "Seth..."

"Remember what Keaton said?" Seth's eyes were shining in excitement. "Bray probably is hiding in a place she knew." He pointed to the picture so aggressively he nearly knocked it out of Roman's fingers. "This could be the place."

Tamina and Naomi exchanged looks while Roman studied the picture with a frown. "Where did you find this?"

"In a box of Bray's stuff that he never unpacked."

"How do you -"

"The hideous shirts could only be his." Seth knelt down and gripped the edge of Roman's chair. "He could be there right now. She knew that place. That means he knew that place. We could find it and Dean could be there. I'm fucking telling you Roman. This is it. I know it is."

Maybe it was. Roman wasn't one to doubt Seth's gut. But there was one problem. "How are we supposed to find this place?"

Seth's expression fell. He had no answer to that.

None of them did.


	28. Chapter 28

Time passed and seasons changed. Fall turned to winter and winter turned to spring. Bray cut Dean's cast off and helped him regain the strength in his arm. Dean's devotion to Bray grew all he while. Memories from before they came here started to become buried in the back of his mind. His childhood, his career, Seth, Roman, the troubles that had one existed between him and Bray - all that had come from those things was pain and suffering. He was okay now though. Bray had taken away the hurt. He had given up everything for him and created their own little world that he could be safe in. The least he could do was embrace it.

Even with being free to do what they wanted when they wanted to, they still had their routines. Every morning Bray's lips against his neck would be what woke Dean from his slumber. Today the kisses weren't as gentle as they normally were. They were impatient, breaking down into bites very quickly. Bray was in a mood. Dean had no idea what spawned it. He never really did. He whimpered, opening his eyes and tilting his head back to expose more of his neck. Be good. Cooperate. Pull Bray out of his mood. He could do it. He knew he could.

Bray's teeth sank down even harder into Dean's neck. Dean hissed, tears inadvertently forming in his eyes. Blood had been drawn. He could feel it. He tried not to focus on the pain. Instead he grabbed Bray's head with both hands and maneuvered it upwards so he could kiss him. He tasted his own blood on Bray's lips. Bray's hands moved up and down his body, his touch making him shiver. Teeth found Dean's lower lip, biting down until Dean whined in pain.

"Be good for me little lamb."

Dean whimpered. He was trying. He really was. He gripped Bray tightly, his legs spread to accomdate Bray more. He felt Bray smirk, but that wasn't what he wanted quite yet. Instead Bray moved off the bed, pulling Dean up with him. Dean's feet had barely touched the floor before Bray pushed him down to his knees. The floor was hard and unforgiving, but Dean tried not to let that bother him. Instead he stared up at Bray, his heart fluttering as he saw the pleased look in the blue eyes he knew so well. Good. This was good. He had to keep being good.

Bray's hand grabbed Dean by the hair, holding it tight as he guided his cock into Dean's mouth. Dean relaxed his throat and managed to keep himself from choking. Bray rewarded him by loosening his grip, allowing him to bob his head at his own pace. Dean tried to still go fast, hollowing his cheeks to suck harder. His tongue moved up along the underside of the length, paying extra attention to the vein that ran along it. The pleased groans from Bray's mouth let him know he was doing good. He kept right on going, wanting to hear more.

"There we are little lamb." Bray's voice had an edge to it, hinting that his mood was still there. His moods weren't easy to break. Not in the very least. But his wrath wasn't being directed to Dean. Not yet. Dean wanted it to stay that way. His grabbed on to Bray's thighs and moved his head faster. All he wanted to do was please him. That was it. If Bray was happy then he was happy.

Bray suddenly pulled him up by the hair, nearly tearing some out in the process. Dean barely bit back a whimper for that. The sound still escaped him though as he was shoved up against the wall. Bray hardly seemed to notice. Instead he pressed three fingers up to Dean's lips, threatening to shove them in his mouth at any moment. Dean took them in willingly, sucking on them much like he had Bray's cock. Bray smirked and shoved his fingers in deeper. Dean's eyes watered as he gagged.

"You should see yourself little lamb." Bray thrusted his fingers roughly in Dean's mouth. "You're the prettiest thing I ever did see."

Dean's heart swelled at the words. He sucked on Bray's fingers more eagerly, not stopping until Bray snatched them back. His hand slid down between Dean's legs, his fingers slipping inside him one by one. Dean moaned, his arms hooking around Bray's neck as he tried to move and arch against Bray's fingers. The desperation he was showing was getting a laugh from the larger man. He didn't care though. Maybe he would have felt a sense of shame, but that had been a long time ago. That part of him didn't exist anymore. Desperate need was all that was left. "Please," he managed to croak out. "Please please please..."

Bray didn't draw it out any longer. His mood left him unable to thrive on it like he usually did. He removed his fingers and lifted Dean up, pinning him completely against the wall once more as he slammed inside. Dean howled and clawed at Bray's back. Bray's lips were on his again, kissing and biting as he pounded into him. Dean wrapped his legs around Bray's waist, clinging to him with every ounce of strength that he had. Bray muttered something in between kisses, though Dean couldn't understand them. He almost thought Bray was speaking in tongues. For his part, all he could do was moan Bray's name over and over again. He was so close already. He tried to hang on. He really did. But he couldn't do it. Bray was going too hard and fast for him to hold out. He came with a harsh cry, his release leaving him feeling weak and boneless. He felt Bray finish next, his movements finally stilling as he buried his face in the crook of Deans neck.

"I love you." The words that Dean used to deny now came tumbling out so easily.

"Love you too darlin." Bray moved them from the wall, carrying Dean back to the bed. He dropped Dean off on the matress before trying to move away.

Dean frowned and grabbed Bray's hand. "Where are you going?"

"I got to go into town. We need supplies."

Dean swallowed nervously. A supply run. He hated these days. A supply run was the only time Bray actually left him on his own. He would be gone for hours, leaving Dean all alone in the house, drowning in his anxiety. It didn't matter that he knew Bray would come back. The time apart was still too much. "Don't," he begged. "Don't go."

"I have to if we want to eat any time soon."

Dean wilted. "I don't want you to go."

"You think I want to go?" Bray grabbed his clothes and started to get dressed. You know better than that little lamb."

He did, but that wasn't helping his anxiety. "Let me go too."

"Absolutely not."

"I'll be good I promise."

"You're not going anywhere."

"But -"

"Do I need to repeat myself?" Bray's eyes narrowed dangerously. "You're not going out. Do you know what's going to happen if someone recognizes you?" He finished getting dressed before stepping back to the bed, looming over Dean and making him shrink back meekly. "They'll take you away. Do you want them to take you away from me?"

Dean shook his head.

"What was that now?" Bray grabbed Dean's arms, the mood that Dean thought had been sated with the sex coming right back now that Dean had gone and angered him. He squeezed tightly, easily leaving finger shaped bruises on Dean's skin. "I didn't hear that darlin."

"No!" Dean shook his head again desperately. "No Bray please. I'm sorry please. I just don't like to be left alone I...Bray please..."

Bray kept up the venomous glare for a very long moment. Dean's heart pounded in his chest, his body nearly shaking as he waited. Bray's gaze finally softened and he forgave Dean with a kiss to his forehead. "I'm just trying to protect you little lamb." He loosened his grip on Dean's arms. "I can keep you safe here. You don't need to go where they can hurt you." He moved one hand up to Dean's face and rubbed his thumb over his lips. "You're going to stay right here, and I'll be back in a few hours. Do you understand?"

"Yes." Dean couldn't think to keep arguing. He lowered his eyes shamefully, his anxiety still completely eating away at him from the inside. Bray's lips on his at least let him know that he was forgiven, but the kiss ended way too soon. Bray promised he would be back soon one more time before taking off, leaving him alone. Dean laid back down, pulling the blanket over his head and snuggling his face against Bray's pillow. The wait already felt like it was going to kill him, but he had to do it. It was the only thing he could do.

* * *

"Danny! Your uncle needs help unloading the truck!"

Danny Summers deliberately ignored his aunt Laura's yelling in favor of continuing to play on his phone. He had absolutely no interest of coming out of the break room any time soon. Last month he had been made to move from Chicago to Montgomery because his mother was too much of a drug addict to take care of him and it had turned his entire world upside down. Sure, being around her sucked, but being down here meant he had no friends to speak of. Not to mention the fact that his aunt and uncle were constantly up his ass. He didn't want to work at their shitty little grocery store where they could watch almost every move he made. He was sixteen years old for fuck's sake. He was far past the point in needing a babysitter.

"DANNY! his aunt was on him again. "Danny if you're not going to unload the truck then come run the register while I do it!"

He groaned loudly. "I'm still on break!"

"Your break was over twenty minutes ago! Get up here before I come back there and whoop your ass!"

Danny let out a string of curses before reluctantly getting up. He shoved his phone in the pocket and went out, heading to the cash register as opposed to the truck. He got a rather pointed glare from his aunt, but he ignored it. Instead he grabbed a magazine off the rack and sat down on the stool they kept handy. It wasn't like they were busy or anything. They rarely ever were. Most people preferred the bigger time stores because they had more stuff. The only reason they stayed afloat was...well he didn't actually know.

The sound of the door opening caught his attention, but he didn't bother to look up. Not right away. It wasn't until the sound of low singing caught his ear that he took a glance up. What he saw nearly made him fall right off his stool.

"You can run on for a long time. Run on for a long time. Run on for a long time. Sooner or later God'll cut you down..." His trademark colorful Hawaiian shirt was nowhere to be seen; a plain black shirt with a black leather jacket covered his body instead. His long hair was pulled back into a ponytail and he had on giant sunglasses that covered almost all of his face. But even with all that, Danny still knew who it was. Bray Wyatt. Bray fucking Wyatt, who at one time had been one of his favorite wrestlers. At least he had been until it got out that he had kidnapped Dean Ambrose after apparently stalking him, raping him, trying to kill him and then leaving not only his two lackeys actually dead, but trying to kill Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns too. Wrestlers did some fucked up stuff sometimes, but that was beyond anything he had ever thought possible. And here Bray was, maybe ten feet away from him at the most.

"Shit," Danny muttered under his breath. He looked around, swallowing nervously as he saw that there was nobody else around. Where was Dean? Did Bray still have him? Or was he dead? Shit, what if he was dead? He could be. Or he could be dying right now and all he was doing was sitting on his ass, too afraid to move. He needed to do something. But nothing too obvious. The last thing he wanted to do was be noticed by someone who was actually a full on psychopath.

He slid off the stool and cast a nervous glance towards Bray. He was taking no notice to him. Being mindful to be quiet, he headed towards the back room. He would rather have his aunt out by the register. She didn't know who Bray was or what he had done. His face would give him away and probably get him killed. She could be out there while he tried to hunt down the number he needed. WWE had set up a tip line in case someone spotted and he couldn't remember if he saved it on his phone or not. He thought he had. If he hadn't...well he hoped he had. The sooner he made the call, the better.

* * *

Roman slowly walked from the living room to the kitchen. The fact that he was managing to do it without the walker should have made him happier. Getting stabbed hadn't sent him as far back as they had feared in his quest to really be able to walk. They still didn't want him to push himself too hard, but he wanted to be done with the walker or any other kind of assistance. But despite tasting the triumph he had craved since the moment he had woken up in the hospital unable to walk, it was hard to bask in his victory. Dean was still gone. Nobody had seen him or Bray in months. The photo Seth had found hadn't really done much for the case. There wasn't any significant landmark in it that would give them an actual location. And despite what had been promised to them, the cops seemed more interested in cases that weren't a total dead end.

The cops weren't the only ones moving on. Hunter and Stephanie had tried to get Seth to come back to work, but he had basically told them to fuck off. Roman was expecting those release papers to come in the mail any day now. His family had been trying to get them to go to therapy to accept the loss of Dean, much like they had come to terms with losing Jimmy and Jey. Neither Roman or Seth would go though. Seth wasn't ready to accept losing Dean. He was losing weight, barely able to eat or even sleep as his obsession to find their boy ate away at him. Roman was scared to death that he was going to lose him next. He tried to reason with him, to get him to eat and sleep and maybe actually see the therapist. Seth would just get angry with him though, telling him that he wasn't the priority. Dean was the priority. He would accuse Roman of not even caring, sparking a fight every single time. Roman didn't know how much more he could take. He really didn't.

He went to the pantry and opened it. He needed to eat something, but nothing sounded good. It never did anymore. But unlike Seth he forced food down anyway. Even if it was something small like the granola bar he was currently grabbing. At least it was better than nothing.

The phone rang but Roman paid it no mind. He let Seth answer it while he went to the table and sat down. He ripped the package open and ate the bar slowly, forcing it down despite the extreme lack of taste choking him. When he was done he made himself get up and throw the wrapper away. The fact that the phone had rang at all slipped his mind until Seth came barreling into the room.

"Wyatt was seen in Alabama!" Brown eyes were wide with excitement. Seth spoke so fast that Roman just barely understood him. "Wyatt was seen in Alabama. Dean's in fucking Montgomery."

"Wait what?" Roman heard the words, but they didn't quite sink into his brain.

"Alabama." Seth grabbed Roman by the hand and started pulling him along. "Fucking come on. They don't got him in custody but we know where the fuck to look."

"Did someone actually see Dean? Or just Bray?"

"Just Bray. Like that fucking matters though." Seth pulled on Roman's arm impatiently. "Where Bray is then Dean will be there too. You know he won't leave him far behind."

This was true. Roman found his heart swelling at the thought. Dean. They had a lead. They could find Dean. They could bring him home and get him away from Bray once and for all. How exactly they were going to do that he didn't actually know yet. They would figure it out as they went. The important part was that they finally knew just where to fucking look

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pieces are falling into place...a shorter chapter than what I've been doing lately, but this really needed to just start setting the stage for what's to come. Until next time folks.


	29. Chapter 29

By the time Danny Summers found the number to contact the authorities, Bray had been out of the store and on his way out of town. He missed the wave of police that surrounded the store. He had no idea that the FBI was about to be swarming the place. Instead he was focused on the road, eager to get back to Dean. He wouldn't have gone if it hadn't been needed. He liked spending all his days and nights with Dean. Things were much more simple now that Dean finally accepted the fact that he belonged to him. Sometimes he wished that Dean would have fallen in line sooner, but he tried not to dwell on that too much. What happened before didn't matter. What mattered was that he had Dean now and he wasn't going to let him go.

When he pulled up to the house he saw Dean had come out to the porch to wait for him. Dean's whole face lit up when he saw him coming. The truck had barely gotten stopped when Dean came around and opened his door. Dean scrambled right in, crawling on his lap and burying his face in Bray's neck. Bray grinned and wrapped his arms around Dean tightly. Dean had put on one of his shirts while he had been away. "Easy there little lamb." He let a hand slip under the bright red garment so he could rub Dean's back. "I got you."

Dean relaxed against him. The sound he let out was barely audible, even with him so close. They stayed there for awhile, Dean clearly not ready to move while Bray just didn't care to. He turned off the engine to the truck, not wanting to waste gas as they just sat there. The sooner they got low on gas was sooner that he would have to take another unwanted trip into town.

"Are you mad at me?"

The question actually managed to catch Bray off guard. "Mad?"

Dean nodded without taking his face out of Bray's neck.

"I'm not mad at you little lamb." Bray reached up and gently scratched Dean's scalp.

"You were mad earlier."

"I was frustrated darlin. I've already told you plenty of times why you can't go with me. That wasn't something that I should have had to repeat." Bray grabbed a handful of Dean's hair and pulled his head back gently. He locked his eyes with Dean, softening as he saw the expression on Dean's face. It was something akin to a kicked puppy. "I keep you here for your own protection. They'll hurt you out there. That's all they ever did. I want to spare you from that." He grabbed Dean's chin and squeezed it gently. "You understand that don't you?"

Dean nodded quickly.

"Good." Bray rewarded him with a kiss. "Come on. Let's get the stuff into the house."

Dean moved to obey, though he was obviously reluctant to leave Bray's lap. Bray smirked as they took everything he had bought in town into the house. They put in the kitchen, the items barely done being set on the table when Bray's arm slid around Dean's waist. Dean started to make a surprised sound, but Bray cut him off with a kiss. It was just a kiss this time; no biting or immediate demand for something more. Just a kiss. Dean returned it happily, his arms wrapping around Bray's neck. When they broke apart Dean was smiling. He was smiling all for him and Bray couldn't keep his eyes off it. It was such a simple thing, yet it pulled him just as far down their rabbit hole as he had pulled Dean.

"Do you know what you do to me?" Bray asked softly. His eyes narrowed, trying to see if Dean actually realized it. Dean used to always just focus on what Bray did to him. He never stopped to think about what he himself was doing to Bray.

Dean just stared at him with wide eyes. He wasn't stupid. He knew that he drove Bray wild. But he didn't seem to understand just how far it went. Bray wanted to show him. He wanted to show him but he wasn't even sure how to. He could take him on every available surface of the house, but that didn't feel like enough. He had done that already numerous times. Dean still didn't understand. There had to be more he could do.

"You're not just in here." Bray tapped his fingers against his head. "And you're not just in here." He tapped right over his heart. "You're in everything." He moved forward without even realizing it, getting Dean trapped up against the counter. "You're in every breath I take. You're in my blood. You're in my soul." He stopped as he was pressed up against Dean. He could feel how the other man trembled. He could feel Dean's heart pounding in his chest and he heard how his breath caught in his throat. "You're in my blood little lamb."

Dean swallowed hard, his eyes wide as ever. Bray still didn't feel like he understood. But he would. The set of knives were right there. Bray reached over and grabbed one. "I'll show you darlin."

"What are you - Bray!" Dean tried to snatch the knife away from Bray as he pressed the blade against his open palm. Bray easily stepped out of reach before slicing his hand open. He didn't have to use much pressure; he kept the knives far too sharp for that. The pain didn't really bother him. He had felt far worse in his life. Besides from that, Dean was there to gasp for him, shaking his head in disbelief at what Bray had just done.

"Do you see?" Bray held out his bloody hand for Dean to see fully. "Do you see what you've done? You always used to be so concerned about how I took over you. You never saw how you took over me." He pushed his hand right up to Dean's face, just barely avoiding touching it. "Do you see it now little lamb?"

Dean's gaze alternated from Bray's hand to his face. Bray watched him carefully, looking for the understanding he sought. It slowly appeared, making Bray nod happily. That was it. That was what he wanted to see. "Do you feel it too?"

Dean immediately nodded.

"Can you show me?" Bray placed the knife in Dean's hand now. "Let me see it little lamb."

Dean gripped the handle tightly and pressed the blade to his palm now. He looked to see how captivated Bray was before slowly sliding it down his skin. He hissed lowly, the grimace in his face not quite reaching his eyes. He was too busy looking at Bray for approval.

Bray couldn't stop the grin from taking over his face. "That's it." Bray grabbed Dean's bloody hand with his own and squeezed it tightly. "That's a good little lamb." He tightened his grip even more and kissed the back of Dean's hand. "You see it now don't you darlin? You see how you fit with me."

Dean nodded again. He did see it now. He understood his place. Bray relaxed and dropped his head down on Dean's shoulder. Their bloody hands stayed clasped together as Dean nuzzled his face back into Bray's neck. The cut on his hand was really starting to sting, but Bray didn't care. It didn't matter. The only thing that did matter was relaxed right against him and he wasn't going to let him go. Not ever.

* * *

Authorities had swarmed the city, but in the two days that followed the Bray sighting, there was no sign of him or Dean anywhere in the city. Danny Summers was questioned repeatedly, but there was nothing that he could tell them that went much beyond what he had said initially. His aunt and uncle were questioned as well, but neither had any knowledge of who Bray was. They couldn't even remember if they had seen him in their store before. The police pulled footage from the store's security cameras and a few poor souls had to search back through them for Wyatt sightings. Seth wasn't one hundred percent sure how that was going, but one of the FBI agents told him that another store owner had come forward to say he had sold fire wood to Bray at least a couple of times during the winter. That confirmed that Bray had at least been staying in the area for awhile. But now they had to figure out if he was still around. Had he gotten wind of the authorities and smuggled Dean away? Or was he hiding Dean in plain sight and they just weren't looking in the right place?

Despite the reassurances of all the cops and agents and Roman, Seth felt like it was the latter. That was why he was at the library, using their computer to do some research. He and Roman had left in such a hurry that he had forgotten to bring his own laptop. The computer here was slow as hell, but he would rather sit and deal with that than stand back and do nothing. Roman had given up trying to argue with him, instead going down the street to get some coffee. At least Seth thought he was on a coffee run. Maybe he was going to talk to the cops again. Or maybe it was something else. He couldn't think about that right now. He had to focus on his research.

Houses that had been on the market for awhile were the first places he looked. The economy had taken a real hit in the area, making people lose their homes and leaving others unable to afford to buy the places that now stood empty. But even as he jotted down addresses, it didn't feel like he was on the right track. A house on sale would have real estate agents poking around in it. And all the ones he was seeing seemed to be located in nice neighborhoods. They weren't places Bray would hide on his own, so he definitely wouldn't be there if he had to hide Dean.

Condemned houses and old warehouses were the next places he looked up. Those felt more likely in theory, but if Dean and Bray had been set up here the whole time then it didn't seem quite as feasible. Places like that were probably only good for the short term.

Seth rubbed his hands over his face. He was nearly shaking he was so stressed out. They were so close. They were so close to finding Dean yet still so far away. Seth couldn't help but think of the worst case scenario. What if Bray had realized he had been spotted and took off again? What if they were wasting their time here and Bray was already halfway across the country with Dean.

No. He couldn't let himself think like that. That wasn't going to do him any good. He had to focus. He slapped his face with both hands and took a deep breath. His list looked long on paper, but with how many places he was already eliminating in his head, it wasn't enough. He had to go on a different train of thought. Maybe Bray and Dean weren't in the city limits. Maybe they were out of it and this was the closest city Bray used to get what he needed. Both Wyatt compounds had been habitable and isolated, but still within a somewhat reasonable driving distance from the city. The house Luke had taken him and Roman the night he and Erick abducted them had fit the same criteria. Bray had to be using a place like that. Maybe he had stumbled upon it or maybe he had knew of its existence beforehand. Maybe the moment he had taken Dean he had known to come there. Maybe the farm from Abigail's picture was somewhere around these parts.

He leaned back in his chair so he could pull the photo in question out of his pocket. He had taken to always keeping it on him over the past several months. He unfolded it and studied it closely. There still wasn't a whole lot in the picture that could help him. He didn't know the area too well and he doubted he could find anyone that would know if he showed them the video. It was probably older than anyone else in the room, including the librarian at the desk. Maybe he could figure out a way to ask about it in a real general way. It would probably make him look weird, but he didn't have a whole lot of other options available to him.

He got up and put the picture back in his pocket before heading to the librarian's desk. She was the only adult near him so he wanted to ask her before trying to see if he could weasel anything out of the teenagers that were hanging around. The sound of his footsteps made her look up. She frowned and pushed her chair away from her own computer, sitting up more as he stopped right in front of her. "Can I help you?"

"Yeah, I hope so." He looked around and leaned forward a bit, trying to keep his voice down at an appropriate library level. The lie was in his head was forming as he spoke. He didn't want to tell her the truth. Not only was it too long and complicated of a story to really explain, but she was giving him an almost distrustful glare. He felt like he wouldn't get much out of her if he tried a real serious line of questioning. "My friends and I were looking to shoot a little movie for our film class. We need an old abandoned farm for our location, but we really don't know the area that well. Do you know any place we could use?"

The lady studied him for what felt like entirely too long. "You look a little old to be a college student," she finally said.

He narrowed his eyes. "I had to put it off for awhile. Can you please help me out here?"

She studied him a bit longer, nearly making him snap on the spot. "There's a couple," she finally said. "There's an old plantation that's been unused for the past ten years. The family that owned it all died out and the place is worth more than anyone can afford. That's a bit up north of here. Then there's another place towards the west, but a tornado nearly knocked that one down. I don't think it'd be usable."

"Any place else?"

She thought about it carefully. "There's some old place about thirty miles or so east of here. My parents used to tell me it was home to some cult, but it's nothing nobody really talks about around here."

If Seth had any less self control he would have leapt over the desk to kiss her. "Can you tell me how to get there?"

"Are you serious?"

"I've never been more serious in my entire life."

She studied him for another moment before grabbing a notepad and pen. He watched her scribble down driving instructions, the urge to kiss her getting stronger. This had to be a place. It had to be. They were going to find Dean and Bray, rip Bray limb from limb and bring Dean home. And it would be in that exact order if he could get his way.

* * *

Roman should have known something was up the moment Seth had picked him up from the coffee shop. Yet exhaustion mixed with anxiety made him not notice the look on Seth's face. The coffee he had drank hadn't done much except make him jittery. He wanted to have Dean back and Bray either incarcerated permanently, or dead and buried six feet under the ground. The latter was more fitting considering what the bastard had done to them all. But it was more important to have Dean back. That was all he could focus on. He was scared to see what Bray had done to him during all this. He and Seth had been trying to put him back together from before and had barely been managing. God only knew how they were going to fix whatever damage that had been done now. But there had to be a way to do it. He wouldn't accept Dean being lost to them forever. He just wouldn't.

He rested his head back against the seat and closed his eyes. The sun was just starting to set. With the way he felt now, he already knew there was no way he was going to sleep that night. Not that it surprised him. His nights were sleepless more often than not anymore. "Seth can we stop by a drug store?" he finally asked. "I need something to make me sleep."

"Can't sleep on me Ro," Seth replied. "I need you up."

"Why?"

"Because why?"

Seth didn't answer for a long time. Roman let it go, too tired to really care to question it. It wasn't until he happened to open his eyes and saw that they weren't in the city that he became concerned. "Seth where are we going?"

"I think I know where Dean is." Seth kept his eyes on the road, his hands gripping the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles were turning white.

"Wha...how?"

"Did some research at the library. There's an old farm though that used to house a cult. I think it's the one from the picture."

"Did you see a picture to prove it?"

"Well...no. But that's not the point! It's gotta be the place. It's fucking gotta be."

Roman just stared at him. Maybe he was right. Maybe this was the place. Or maybe this was another dead end and he would have to see the heartbroken look in Seth's eyes yet again as this didn't pan out. "Why didn't you say something before? Why didn't we tell the police?"

"Fuck the police," Seth snapped. "Fuckers wouldn't let us kill the son of a bitch. We gotta do this ourselves."

"Everything went to shit when Jimmy, Jey and Dean tried to handle things themselves."

"Well we're not them! We got Dean out of the compound that time by ourselves. And he don't got a family to try to ambush us. You're mobile again and I'm fucking pissed as shit. We can take the son of a bitch."

Roman didn't say anything. What could he say? He really didn't want to argue. He adjusted himself on the seat, his heart starting to pound so hard he could feel it in the back of his throat.

"We're going to bring him home." It wasn't clear if Seth was talking to Roman or himself. "We'll bring him home and it's going to be okay."

"What if it's not?" The question was out of Roman's mouth before he could stop it. "What if that Stockholm Syndrome shit you were talking about the first time around is like, active again? We were there last time to keep him from folding completely to Wyatt's will. It's been months since the last time we saw him. God fucking knows what Bray's brainwashed him into believing."

Seth looked frightened by the thought. Roman was pretty sure he had been avoiding those kinds of thoughts. "We saved him before," Seth finally said. "We can save him again."

Roman just nodded. His own doubts were still there; he didn't want them to be, but they were. But he needed to push them aside. Seth didn't need his doubt and Dean certainly didn't either. They had to do this. They had to succeed. Dean was theirs. Their blindness to it had driven Dean into Bray's arms to begin with, but they would fix it. They would get Dean back and finally make everything right.

* * *

Dean couldn't sleep. Despite his body being exhausted from his and Bray's love making, he couldn't shut his mind off long enough to drift off to sleep. Instead he had crawled on top of Bray and laid his head down on his chest. He could hear Bray's heart beating and it made him smile. Bray always said his heart beat just for Dean. He used to not be able to hear it, but now he could. It made him smile. He liked nights like this. Bray was always busy taking care of him, and while he knew he needed it, he sometimes found himself feeling guilty about it. Bray deserved a chance to relax, which was what he was getting now. He had fallen asleep, his breathing nice and steady. His hand rested on Dean's lower back, holding Dean right in place without even realizing it. Not that Dean was thinking of going anywhere. He never did.

There wasn't a clock to see what time it was, but the night still seemed like it was slipping away from him. He tried to ignore it by gently running his fingers up and down Bray's arm. The tattoos he had fascinated Dean once he took the time to actually look at them. He traced over them, smiling as goosebumps appeared over Bray's arm. Part of him wanted to kiss them. But kissing them meant moving his head and he didn't want to do that. Not when he had Bray's heart beating in his hear.

A thump from downstairs almost made him jump. He cast a glance at the door, eyes wide and fearful. He listened closely, barely daring to breathe. He was used to some creaks and the wind knocking a branch into the window sometimes, but not thumping. That was definitely not something good.

What seemed like minutes dragged on without another sound. Dean looked to Bray, who was still fast asleep. Dean sighed and rested his head back on Bray's chest. He closed his eyes, trying to drift off to sleep. He felt himself start to slip into slumber when there was another thump. This time Dean rolled off of Bray, his heart skipping a beat inside his chest. Someone was in the house. He was sure of it.

He looked to Bray, who was still passed out. He almost woke him up. He wanted to so bad but he stopped himself. Bray was always protecting him. He could return the favor this time. He carefully slipped out of bed and threw on his boxers and Bray's shirt. His eyes looked around for something to use as a weapon. The knife Bray had brought in the bedroom with them caught his eye. He grabbed it with his unbandaged hand, the weapon feeling heavy in his grasp as he slowly headed out of the room. "I can do this," he muttered under his breath. He raised the weapon up, ready to use it on the first thing he saw moving. "I can do this. I can do this..."


	30. Chapter 30

The moment Seth had seen the farm he knew this was it. It didn't matter that it was dark and not well lit. He could still see that the house resembled the one in the photo, as did what he could see of the barn. Roman still didn't seem fully convinced, but Seth wasn't really focused on that. Roman hadn't studied the picture of Abigail that had been taken from the compound as much as he had. He had agonized over every detail of it in the months since he had found it, and he knew in his gut that this was the place. This was fucking it.

Roman had barely stopped the car before Seth was jumping out of it. He didn't stop at Roman's request. He didn't look back to see how fast Roman was following him. He just ran towards the front door, his feet carrying him faster than they had ever carried him before. He nearly fell as he went up the porch steps, but managed to regain his balance and threw himself at the door. He wrapped his hand around the knob and twisted. He didn't know why he was surprise to find it locked. "Fuck!" He let go of the door and looked around. A window. He needed a window.

"Seth!" Roman tried not to yell too loudly as he caught up. "Seth we need to call the cops. Tell him where we're at and let them come help."

"The fuck did I say about the cops?" Seth didn't want to hear it. He already had said that he didn't want the cops. Bray didn't need to be in jail; Bray needed to die. Plain and simple.

"I know what you said." Roman wasn't just going to back down that easily. "But what if something goes wrong? If he gets the best of us -"

"He won't."

"But -"

Seth didn't want to hear another word. Instead he went to the nearest window and pushed it open. It didn't open easily but he managed to get it. He climbed through it, almost bumping the chair that happened to be sitting by it. The inside of the house was even darker than it was outside. Seth turned his head around and carefully moved forward, trying to force his eyes to adjust to the blackness. They slowly did, and Seth found himself shivering as they did so. There was nothing to really look at, but the vibe of the place was all wrong. It made the hair on the back of his neck stand up and his stomach twist uncomfortably. Between Bray with Dean and whatever cult had been here before, this was just a fucking den of brainwashing.

THUMP!

"Ow!"

"Roman!" Seth whirled around to find both Roman and the chair on the floor. He had knocked it over when he had fallen in through the window. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I'm sorry alright?" Roman got himself up, not even fixing the chair afterwards. "My legs still don't move quite right. I didn't trip on purpose."

Seth knew both of those things. That knowledge didn't make him any happier in that particular moment. He cast a nervous look around, his eyes eventually zeroing in on the staircase. He held his breath and waited. He expected Bray to come barreling down the stairs because of the noise. Roman waited along with him, his body readying to push Seth out of the way and fight Bray himself. But Bray didn't come. He must not have heard the noise. Seth and Roman let out a slow sigh of relief. The element of surprise wasn't totally lost to them.

"They're probably in bed," Roman whispered as they carefully moved. "We're gonna have to find what room they're in and see if we can just pull Dean from him."

Seth nodded, though he wasn't quite sure if Roman could really see it. "You want to check down here while I go upstairs?"

"We ain't splitting up."

"We'll cover more ground."

"We're not splitting up." Roman grabbed Seth's arm and squeezed. "We stay together. You understand?"

Seth didn't argue. He didn't want to waste the time. Instead he chewed on his lower lip and tried to decide where to check first. Upstairs felt more likely, but they couldn't just eliminate downstairs as a possibility. "Fuck," he whispered. "Let's go upstairs."

Roman stepped in front of him so he could take the lead. Once again Seth didn't argue. Instead he grabbed the back of Roman's shirt as they slowly made their way towards the stairs. Everything they did sounded too loud. Their footsteps, their breathing - Seth was quite sure that even his beating heart was too loud. He gripped Roman's shirt more tightly and tried to be more careful with his steps. He grew so concentrated on that though that he started to forget to mind where he was going. His feet strayed a bit off to the left of Roman, making him walk into a desk. It hit the wall with a thump, making both him and Roman jump.

"Seth!"

"I know I know!" Seth didn't want to be scolded. "Why the fuck didn't we bring a flashlight?"

"Well I didn't fucking know we were doing this!" Roman shot back. "I appreciate the enthusiasm to save Dean, but you didn't exactly plan this all out!"

"I -" Seth's voice died as they heard a door open. He silently mouthed the word fuck before pulling Roman towards the couch, which was the only thing in the room big enough for them to hide behind. They held their breath as they waited, Seth taking the chance to peer around to see who was coming. He expected it to be Bray still. His body instinctively tensed, ready for the fight he was sure was going to happen. But even in the darkness, he could tell that the figure coming down the stairs now wasn't big enough to be Bray. His heart immediately jumped up into his throat over the realization. It was Dean. Dean was alive and seemingly in one piece. He was brandishing something in his hand but Seth wasn't paying much mind to that. He tried to just come out and get Dean's attention, but Roman grabbed him by the shirt and held him back. "What are you -"

"That's a knife," Roman hissed. "Don't rush him with a knife."

Seth swallowed hard and tried to get a better look. With Dean getting closer, he could see that Roman was right. Dean had a death grip on what seemed to be a pretty big knife. Not good. That was not good at all.

"Who's there?" Dean's voice cracked as he asked the question. He raised the knife higher, ready to strike down with it. "I know you're here."

Roman put a hand over Seth's mouth to make sure he wouldn't say anything. One wrong move would startle Dean and get someone hurt even before Bray got alerted to their presence.

"You're not allowed here." Dean's voice cracked again. Despite coming out there with the knife, it sounded like he was seconds from bolting to go get Bray. "Nobody's allowed here. This is our house."

Seth stiffened. Our house. The words made him sick to his stomach. Roman's words about the Stockholm Syndrome sprang back into his head. He hadn't wanted to entertain that thought again, but it was already clear that it was a factor. Dean saw this as his home now. God only knew what else Bray had been filling his head with this whole time.

The floor creaked as Dean kept moving. Seth and Roman carefully ducked away, trying to keep Dean from seeing them. Seth's brain was scrambling to come up with a plan. Dean was separated from Bray physically, which meant they needed to take advantage of that. But would he even begin to listen? And how much time would they have before Bray realized he was gone and came looking for him? They couldn't waste time by being too cautious. They had to take a risk and maybe just move Dean against his will. It would probably be easier to get through to Dean if he was out of this hell hole.

The decision was made without even a look to Roman. Seth pulled himself free from the larger man's grasp and stood up. Dean had moved past the couch and had his back to him. Seth crept up to him, putting a hand over Dean's mouth while using his other to grab the wrist of the hand that held the knife. Dean jerked around violently, desperate to be free of Seth's grip. "It's me!" Seth spoke desperately, hoping to soothe Dean. "It's me!" He moved his head to the side, trying to avoid the back of Dean's head, which was trying to find a way to crash into his nose. "It's me baby. It's Seth."

His words didn't begin to have the desired effect. Dean fought him all the harder, muffled screams leaving his mouth. Seth felt his heart breaking inside his chest. He tried to shake it off. Dean was just scared. He needed to calm Dean down and then he would get through to him. "Sshhh baby please..."

Dean's teeth sank into the palm of his hand so hard he broke the skin. Seth's grip involuntarily loosened and Dean broke free from his grip. He spun around on his heels and raised the knife above his head. Seth's brain told him to move. It fucking screamed it but he couldn't. He just stared at Dean, his eyes wide as he took in what had become of him. His blonde hair was a curly, poofy mess. His scarred up torso that he normally kept covered as much as humanly possible was exposed by his wearing one of Bray's shirts. He was bringing the knife right towards Seth, but Seth couldn't fucking bring himself to move.

And suddenly he was moving anyway. He was thrown to the ground so hard he felt his arms being scraped against the floor. He rolled with the momentum, coming to a stop in a sitting position. Roman grabbed Dean's wrist and shoved him back on to the couch. He moved in and straddled his lap and slapped his other hand over his mouth, getting him pinned and silenced. "It's us." Now it was his turn to coo that mantra. "It's us. It's Roman and Seth."

Dean's body went deathly still. His eyes stared at Roman's face with a mix of shock and fear. Seth pushed himself up and moved back in, casting a nervous glance at the staircase as he did so. There was still no Bray, but there was no way that would last much longer.

"We've been looking everywhere for you." Roman was still talking, his voice going into a tone that would normally be reserved for a wild animal. "We've missed you so much baby."

"We have," Seth chimed in as he tried to pry the knife out of Dean's hand. Dean struggled to keep a hold of it, but with Roman holding him in place he couldn't do it. Seth got the knife away from him and stepped out of reach with it. "We've been so scared for you."

"We just want to talk to you okay?" Roman tried to nod reassuringly. "Just talk to us. Don't scream okay? We're not here to hurt you." He carefully took his hand off Dean's mouth, keeping it close to it just in case he started to yell again."

"Y-y-you're dead," Dean stammered out. His eyes stayed glued to Roman's face, the blue orbs still filled with fearful disbelief. "You're dead. You're fucking dead."

"No," Roman denied. "I'm not."

"You're dead. You're dead. I killed you." Dean turned to Seth. "You're tricking me again. You bring him here to make me feel bad."

"...What are you talking about?" Seth didn't even know what to make of that accusation.

"You bring him here. Get in my head." It started to dawn on Seth that Dean was referring to his dreams. There was a good chance he even thought he was dreaming now. "I took him away from you and you're mad because I still have Bray." He tried to squirm out of Roman's grip. "It's a trick. It's a trick."

"It's not a trick," Roman cut in. "I'm alive. I'm here."

"I killed you." Dean closed his eyes and turned his head away.

"No baby no. Harper tried to kill me, remember?"

"You were dead. Bray said you were."

"I never died."

"Bray said it. He saved me but you were gone."

"I was alive when he took you. I was too out of it and weak to stop him."

Seth just stood there, his heart breaking at the exchange. Roman looked heartbroken that Dean wasn't even trying to hear a word he said.

"You died. Bray said you did."

"Bray lied," Seth finally said. "He fucking lied."

"No." Dean shook his head vehemently.

"He fucking did!"

"Seth!" Roman admonished. "Just don't. I got this."

Roman's words went in one ear and out the other. Seth stepped in closer, the hand without the knife grabbing Dean's face and turning it towards him. "Bray lied to you," he said softly. "Roman's right here. He's breathing, his heart's beating, his pulse is going - he's fucking alive. He never died. He almost did, but he didn't. Bray lied to you."

Dean's eyes snapped open. The shock and fear had been replaced by pure anger. Seth nearly had to jump right back from it. "No. It's a trick. You're tricking me. Bray didn't lie. You lie. You lie to me."

"I haven't seen you in months Dean. I haven't been fucking lying to you. Bray -"

"NO!"

Roman slapped a hand over Dean's mouth but it was too late. The sound of a door opening made Seth's heart sink in his chest. Time was up. Bray was coming. He and Roman exchanged a quick look. They tried to make the same desperate move at the same time. They tried to pull Dean up to his feet and drag him towards the door. The sound of Bray coming though gave Dean new fight. He bit the palm of Roman's hand and broke away, jumping over the couch to try to get to the stairs. Seth lunged after him, just barely missing his ankle. He scrambled over the couch himself now, getting to the foot of the stairs just as Dean hid behind Bray. Bray stood in front of him protectively, a look of pure hatred zeroed in on Seth. Seth forced himself to stand tall and repressed a shudder that tried to go through him. Even with as much as he hated him, the look he was getting from Bray was one that even scared him.

"Well what do we have here little lamb?" Bray kept his eyes on Seth even as he spoke to Dean. "Your old rat came to see us."

Dean said nothing in return. He just snuggled his face into the back of the shirt Bray had put on before coming out. The fact that he was clothed was about the only saving grace Seth could think of in this situation.

"But what exactly did he think he was going to find?" Bray tilted his head to the side, almost looking at Seth in amusement. He hadn't turned to see Roman standing in the shadows yet. "Did he think he was going to find you just begging to be saved?" He shook his head, a hint of smile starting to cross his lips. "Doesn't he know the good news?" He leaned forward, the smile actually starting now. "I saved him already."

"You brainwashed him," Seth spat out. "You took him and you broke him and -"

"No." Dean's denial didn't surprise Seth at this point. "He didn't. He saved me."

"You see?" Bray looked just so gleeful at not only Dean's words, but the look on Seth's face over them. "He accepts what's meant to be now. He's mine and not yours. You had your brute and now -"

"Had?" Roman stepped in now, head high, eyes narrowed and god Seth wished he had a camera on him. The look of utter disbelief on Bray's face was masterful. "What do you mean had?"

"Dead," Dean muttered. He was starting to smack himself across the face, seemingly willing himself to wake up from the dream he wasn't having. "He's dead. Dead. I killed him. Dead."

"I wasn't dead!" Roman raised his voice, stopping Dean's muttering. "I never died." He pointed to Bray. "You knew it didn't you? You knew I wasn't gone but you didn't give a shit. You saw your chance and you took Dean."

"You were as good as gone to me boy." Bray wasn't one to just admit any version of the truth that wasn't his own. "I saw no signs of life to you. I thought you to be in the ground where you belong."

"Oh bullshit. You didn't fucking care if I was alive or dead. You didn't fucking care if Seth was either. You wanted Dean and you took him." Roman swallowed hard jabbed his finger towards Bray again. "You're fucking evil. You poison him with your lies. You fucking don't love him. You just love to hurt him. You love to have him as a fucking toy and look at what you've fucking done to him. He's -"

"He's MINE," Bray snarled. He slapped a hand over his chest, his eyes blazing with an anger that made Seth want to pull Roman out of its gaze. "He's always been mine. You two didn't want him until I had him. Then you took him away from me but I got him now." He stepped aside and grabbed Dean by the back of the neck. Seth and Roman nearly lunged at him right then and there for it. "Every breath he takes is for me. Even if I were to let you have him back he wouldn't go to you. He knows I live for him. He knows I'll burn down this entire world for him."

"And take him with it," Seth said. He kept his eyes on Dean, who was just letting Bray hold him by the neck. "Dean please! He doesn't love you! You know this."

"They're lying to you little lamb." Bray pressed a kiss to the side of Dean's head. "You know I'm the only one who ever really has loved you."

"How? How does he love you?" Seth wasn't going to let Wyatt win. He just fucking wasn't. "He stalked you and isolated you. He abused you. He fucking raped you and tried to kill you on multiple occasions. He manipulated you and fucked you up so bad and that was just on the first time around! Dean you were so happy to have him out of your life before. You knew he was bad for you and you wanted him out."

"Remember how he told you he loved you so much?" Bray gave Seth a rather venomous look. "All those whispered promises he made to you down in FCW went straight out the door once Roman got in the mix. He chose Roman over you until he realized you weren't going to just sit back and be used for their convenience. He only wants you because he can't have you. Once he has you again they'll eventually grow tired of you again and toss you aside."

"Dean, I fucked up. Roman and I fucked up badly." Seth wanted to just rip Dean out of Bray's grasp so fucking badly. "We hurt you before and we're so sorry. But we love you. We want you back and want you happy and to be YOU, not this fucked up puppet on a string. Wyatt hurts you because he can. He pulls you like a puppet on a string for his own god damn amusement. He doesn't love YOU. He loves the victim he can make out of you."

"Stop it." Dean put his hands over his ears. "Stop stop stop stop it!"

"You know I'm telling the truth." Seth wasn't just going to stop. Not now. "You fucking know it."

"No." Dean shook his head. "No no no no."

"Dean please. He doesn't love you."

Dean snarled and lunged. Seth didn't expect it and they fell back, tumbling right down the stairs. The knife he had been holding slipped from his hands and fell somewhere on the floor. He faintly heard the sounds of Roman and Bray fighting now but he could hardly concentrate on it. He just kept rolling on the ground with Dean, the fight for control desperate and violent. Dean kept snarling and spitting at him, his fists trying desperately to connect with Seth's face. Seth managed to get a foot up in between them and kicked Dean off with as much force as he could muster. Dean fell off him with a hard thump against the ground. Seth scrambled to his feet and looked towards Roman. They were falling down the stairs now, the tumble clearly hurting Roman more than Bray.

"Shit!" All Seth could think about was Roman being hurt again. He had barely gotten better from being shot. They had feared for so long that the damage to his spinal cord had been permanent. He couldn't let Bray try that again. Forgetting all about Dean for now, he grabbed the knife he had dropped and lunged for Bray, who was on top of Roman. His hand was around Roman's throat, squeezing and laughing as Roman struggled to get him off.

"NO!" Dean's weight on his back nearly toppled Seth right over. His arm went around Seth's throat in a choke hold.

Bray's head snapped in their direction, a smile crossing his face as he saw Dean fighting to protect him. The distraction still cost him though. It gave Roman a chance to shove him off and then leap on him, his fist now colliding with his face repeatedly.

"No!" Dean was shouting again. He let go of Seth and scrambled towards Roman. Seth dropped to his knees and lunged forward from there, grabbing Dean's ankle. Dean tripped and hit the ground face first, his nose busting on impact. There was a whole mess of guilt Seth felt for that, but he couldn't let himself focus on that. Instead he pulled Dean towards him, struggling to do it with just one hand. He wasn't about to let go of the knife, but he didn't even want to bring it near Dean in an attempt to use two hands.

"Let go!" Dean twisted himself around and kicked at Seth's face. The first kick busted his mouth. The second got his nose. The third nearly broke his jaw and his grip on Dean slipped as he fell back. He tasted blood but he couldn't even barely think about that. He just laid on the floor in a daze, his brain unable to get his body moving again as fast as he wanted it to. When he finally got himself somewhat up, he saw that Dean had jumped on Roman much like he had done to him. His arm was around Roman's neck in a choke hold and he was sinking his teeth into the side of Roman's face.

"Dean!" Seth forced himself up to his feet and tried to interfere. "Dean stop!"

Dean didn't listen. He kept right on going, not caring that Roman had stood up and was trying to throw him off. Bray was up now too, his fist repeatedly connecting to Roman's stomach now. Seth forced himself up to his feet. He gripped the knife more tightly and lunged for Bray. In his mind he pictured driving the blade right into Bray's neck. He imagined the blood spurting from the jugular. He imagined watching the life leave his eyes. That was what Seth fucking wanted. He could taste it even more than the blood he had in his own mouth.

Bray saw him coming and lunged right at him as well. His hand wrapped around Seth's wrist as they collided. Seth had all the determination in the world, but Bray's size and strength made Seth bounce off him and land on a heap on the floor. Bray kept a hold of his wrist, pulling his arm towards him and turning it clockwise. He raised elbow up and drove it into Seth's elbow. Once, twice, three times - the third time Seth felt something break. He let out a pained scream. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't think. He was barely aware of Bray saying something about making Roman watch as they killed him. What he knew was that his hair was being grabbed and his head was being smashed into the wall. And then everything went black.

* * *

Dean bit hard. That was the only thing Roman could really focus on. He knew Seth had been hurt. He heard his cry of pain and thought he saw Bray knocking him out. But there wasn't a whole lot he could do about that with Dean climbing all over him and trying to bite his face off. He could barely force himself to his own feet and stumble into the kitchen. He tried to get his hands up to just push Dean's head away. He didn't want to hurt Dean. Dean didn't know what he was doing. He was poisoned by Bray. He needed to help him, not hurt him. But there was no way to do that now. Not with Dean refusing to see reason and Bray making matters worse. And then there was Seth. Seth was hurt. He was on his own now and he had to get himself, Seth and Dean out of this on his own, even if it wasn't all in one piece.

He leaned forward and reached up to grab Dean's head with both hands. He yanked him off him, his heart hurting at the way Dean fought him. He reminded himself this was Bray's influence. They had to break that and then they could get Dean back.

Hopefully at least.

Dean yanked a knife from the counter at the same time Roman grabbed a pot off the stove. Dean lunged with the knife but Roman's swing was quicker. The pot connected with the side of Dean's head and made him drop to the ground with a heap. Roman nearly threw up even as he did the action. He wanted to drop the thing and wake Dean back up to apologize for his instinct based reaction but there was no chance for that. Bray was there and the sight of Dean laying unconscious on the floor sparked a new anger in him. The sight of his anger ignited Roman's own. He had not only done worse to Dean, but he had done it with the intent to truly hurt him. The fact that he acted like he was the one who loved Dean made Roman sick.

Bray raised his hand, which held the knife Dean had brought downstairs with him. "You know, I was going to have you watch as I killed the little rat out there." He stepped forward, his eyes and the knife both gleaming dangerously. "But I think I'll just do you now and present your head to him once he wakes back up."

Roman said nothing to the threat. He had nothing left to really say to Bray. Instead he just tightened his grip on the pot and readied himself. He wouldn't feel bad about hitting him with it. In fact he wanted to do it. He wanted to bash Bray's face in until it was an unrecognizable mess. He wanted to put him through just an ounce of the pain he had caused all of them and their families. But he didn't rush right at Bray. Not when he had the knife in his hand. Instead he moved more carefully, getting himself away from the stove so he had a bit more space to back into if he needed it. Bray followed his actions, not rushing forward either. Dean's unconscious form on the floor told him what could happen there. Someone was going to have to make the first move though. They both not only itched for the other to do it, but they wanted to just do it themselves. They could agree that they wanted this done with.

Someone moved, though Roman's brain was racing too much to realize if it was him or Bray. What he knew was that he was swinging the pot again, though Bray ducked and tried to bury the knife into his stomach. He moved out of the way just in time and swung the pot again. Bray blocked the blow and sliced the blade against his arm. Roman dropped the pot with a cry of pain. He stumbled back, his hand going over the bleeding cut. Bray kept coming at him with the knife, forcing him to keep moving. Not being able to see wasn't helping anything. Roman fought better when he knew his surroundings. He liked being able to use the area to his advantage. But he had none of that now. He just had his body, which was going to cost him this fight if he kept letting himself hold his bleeding arm.

He let go of his arm and paused just enough to let Bray come in. He reached up with both hands and grabbed the wrist of the hand the knife was in. He tried to wrench the arm around, wanting to make Bray drop the knife. What he got for his efforts was Bray's other fist colliding with his fist. He tightened his grip on Bray's wrist and brought his knee up. It collided with Bray's groin and made him double over. The knife slipped from his hand and Roman caught it. He didn't take a minute to bask in that victory. Instead he lunged at Bray, wanting to bury it anywhere in the bastard that he could. Bray managed to dodge it, his feet moving much more swiftly than Roman's had. This was his territory. He knew this room. He knew where to go and to draw Roman away from the still unconscious Dean. His eyes were starting to be lit up with a crazed glee. Roman lunged with the knife, looking to stick the blade in Bray's chest. Bray dodged him completely, letting his momentum make him stumble. Roman tried to just turn himself around and was met with a lantern upside the face. He hadn't seen it hanging on the wall. He hadn't realized Bray had gotten them there on purpose. He just yelled and went down, the blow to his head leaving him too dazed to even feel himself hit the floor. He tried to regain his composure. He tried to push himself right back up but it was too late. Bray was on top of him, pinning him down by the throat with one hand and the knife was in the other. It was coming down right at him, too fast for his hands to stop.

_This is it. This is it..._

Something warm and wet splashed his face. He blinked, his eyes needing a moment to adjust and realize what was happening before them. Seth, with a broken arm and bleeding head, had gotten himself up and driven the knife Dean had tried to use on Roman right into Bray's jugular. Blood kept spurting everywhere, drenching all three of them. There was a look of shock in Bray's eyes that was met with pure hatred from Seth's. Seth yanked the knife back out and used his body to shove Bray back on to the floor. Roman sat himself up and just watched as Seth mounted Bray. The knife kept coming down over and over, each stab punctuated by a grunt or a curse from Seth. Part of Roman almost felt jealous that it wasn't him, but he pushed that aside. It didn't matter who did it. What mattered was that it was happening.

"Fuck fuck fuck you fuck you fuck you FUCK YOU!" Seth's stabs grew faster with each one he delivered. "Fuck you I hate you I hate you I HATE YOU!"

"Seth!" Roman forced himself to get up. He looked at Dean and was relieved to still see him unconscious. The last thing they needed was him getting up and seeing what Seth was doing. They wouldn't be able to get Dean back at all if he actually saw this.

"It's done." Roman swallowed hard as he looked at Bray's body.

"No no it's not. I gotta kill him. I gotta kill him."

"He's dead. He's gone." Roman kissed the top of Seth's head, tears of relief starting to spill from his eyes. "You got him. You killed him."

Seth blinked, needing a moment to realize Roman was right. Bray was gone. After everything he was finished. The knife slipped from Seth's hand and he turned his head away to bury his face in Roman's shirt. Roman felt him start to tremble and he kissed the top of his head again as he kept his eyes on Bray's bloodied, mangled body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Seth and Roman won...physically at least.
> 
> We're starting to get into the home stretch of this one folks.


	31. Chapter 31

Seth didn't know how long he stayed in Roman's embrace. Time seemed to stand still as shock took over. Bray was dead. He was actually dead. He had killed the son of a bitch himself. He and Roman were drenched in his blood. Even with replaying the events in his head though, it all still didn't feel real. It just felt like another one of his fantasies. But it was real. The knife in his hand was real. The blood on him was real. Bray's dead body was really there. The bastard was gone. After everything, he had gotten exactly what he had deserved.

"We need to get Dean out of here before he wakes up." Roman pulled back from the embrace, his hands moving to cup Seth's face. "Just telling him is gonna be bad enough. We can't let him see the body."

Right. Bray being dead only stopped the Dean actually being kidnapped problem. They could take Dean back physically. Mentally though...well that was clearly a whole different issue. Bray had clearly gotten what he wanted out of Dean anyway. Broken, helpless, dependent and made to love him...the shit was so sick and twisted that it made Seth want to died just thinking about it.

"We have to get you to a hospital too." Roman cast a worried look at his arm. "Fucking bastard..."

The adrenaline that had been pumping through Seth's veins was starting to wear off, making the pain start to really settle in. The throbbing in his head was bad enough, but it was nothing compared to the pain in his arm. It made him want to throw up . He bit back that urge to do that. There wasn't time for it. They had to get out of here. "Get Dean." He stood up, cradling his broken arm close to his body. "I can walk."

"You sure?"

"What choice do we got?"

Roman just nodded. He went to Dean, carefully scooping him up in his arms. Seth stayed close to him, somewhat leaning against him as he started to get dizzy. Dean was still out cold. He didn't even stir as Roman straightened back up with him. Roman took just a moment to place the softest of kisses to his forehead. Dean had an huge, ugly bruise forming on the side of his face. Seth didn't have to ask to know Roman had caused it. He could tell that was what happened just by the guilt in Roman's eyes. He wanted to say something to make him feel better. He wanted to erase his guilt but he couldn't. Even with knowing that he had only done it because it had been absolutely necessary, Roman wouldn't forgive himself for was nothing Seth could say that would change it. So instead Seth just held on to his arm and let him lead them out of the house and into the car. Roman laid Dean in the backseat while Seth got into the passenger's seat. His stomach still churned from the pain in his arm, but he made himself keep ignoring it. Instead he stared at the house, his teeth chewing on his lower lip thoughtfully. In all of his fantasies, he had imagined this moment being followed by a huge sense of relief. That was what Bray being out of their lives was supposed to bring. But after seeing how Dean had acted, the relief just wouldn't come. Instead there was almost as much dread as there had been before. Maybe even more.

"We'll get him back," Roman said as he started the car. All he had to do was look at Seth to know what he was thinking.

"How?" While Seth had forced himself not to think of this before, there was no escaping it now. He should have prepared himself better. He should have known this was coming. But he had gotten himself so caught up in just finding Dean that he hadn't allowed this possibility to come into his head.

"I...we'll think of something," Roman replied weakly.

"But what if we don't?" Seth was getting on a roll and couldn't stop. "What if we've lost him for good?"

"Seth..."

"He's gonna hate me for what I did."

"We won't tell him we did it."

"Me. I did it. You get to be good guy Roman -"

"How? How am I good guy Roman? I, along with you, burst into what he was calling home and ripped him away from the only one he thinks loved him. Bray's blood is on my hands too and I fucking hate that I can't be happy about it! The fucking paralyzed me! His obsession with Dean made Harper go crazy and I lost my cousins." Roman's voice cracked and Seth nearly panicked when he saw tears coming. Roman never cried. Never. "It's because of me this shit is even happening to begin with."

Seth gave him an absolutely flabbergasted look. "What the fuck are you even talking about?"

"Remember why he let himself go to Bray? I took you from him and and left him out."

"Jesus Ro." Seth shook his head. "No. Jesus no don't say that shit."

"It's true."

Seth shook his head stubbornly. It wasn't true. Or if it was, Roman wasn't just at fault. Seth had as much to do with driving Dean away as Roman had. But even if they hadn't done that, Bray still could have ended up obsessed with Dean. He could have still pursued him and this whole mess would have still happened. Seth wanted to point this all out to Roman, but the words wouldn't come out of his mouth. His head was getting too fuzzy to even think. Instead his head just sort of dropped and his vision swam until he closed his eyes. He would tell Roman it later. He needed a rest now. Just a little rest.

* * *

There wasn't a single person among the local police or the FBI that were happy to find out Roman came rushing into the emergency room with an unconscious Dean and Seth. Roman made up a lie on the spot, saying that Bray had contacted them and threatened Dean's life to draw them out to him. He said that Bray wanted to finish them off so there would be nobody else left that would ever want Dean. It was a story Seth and he had discussed months ago in one of Seth's manic scenario making fits. Roman didn't feel like anyone believed him for a moment though. He tried to be as convincing as possible, but either he was a terrible actor, or they just had half a brain. Nobody made any move to arrest him though. Nobody particularly cared that Bray Wyatt was gone. Instead they just shook their heads and asked where the house was so they could collect the body. Roman gave that information and then found himself alone in the waiting room. Seth's arm was being worked on by doctors while Dean was getting checked over for any injuries beyond what Roman and Seth had inadvertently done by trying to stop him from helping Bray. How long it would be until he could see them again was unknown.

Roman slouched down in the chair and chewed on his thumbnail. He stared at the TV but he wasn't really seeing anything that was on the screen. Besides from the lady at the desk, he was alone in the waiting room now. He wished he wasn't. Being alone left him with nothing but his own thoughts, which was not what he needed. Everything that had happened over the past year was replaying in his mind. It all felt like a nightmare. Everything that they had suffered through felt like a total nightmare. But it wasn't. None of it had been. It was all real. And despite wanting Bray dead for so long, and knowing they were better off without him, his death didn't fix a damn thing. It didn't undo all the shit he had been putting in Dean's head all these months. It didn't take back all the times he had hurt Dean before. It didn't take back all the shit Roman and Seth had been through. It didn't really fix a thing and that infuriated Roman. That's all he wanted. He wanted to pick them back up, brush them all off and get their lives back to normal. But there seemed to be no way to do that. Bray had taken everything from them and fucked it all up so bad that there was no going back.

Roman wrapped his arms around his own body and chewed on his lower lip. He wished he had someone there with him. He couldn't keep doing this. It didn't feel like he had any strength left to keep being the rock for Seth and Dean. But he had to have it. If he fell apart then Seth would as well. And they certainly wouldn't be able to put Dean back together if they fell apart. They had to get it together.

One of the doctors coming out to see him brought him much relief. Roman stood up, taking a deep breath to make sure he had some composure before he spoke. "How are they?"

The doctor took a quick look at the clipboard he was holding. "We got Mr. Rollins' arm in a cast and we want to keep him over night to watch him for his head. We don't believe he has anything more than a mild concussion, but given that you said he's had them before, we don't want to take any risks." He looked at his clipboard again. "Mr. Ambrose's nose was broken, but his jaw wasn't. Both the stab wound and the broken arm he suffered before being taken into captivity seemed to have healed alright."

"Is he awake?"

The doctor shook his head. "He should be coming to any time. We did put Mr. Rollins in the same room as him. He was quite adament that he would be there anyway, whether he said he could or not."

Roman nodded. That sounded just like Seth. "Can I see them? What room are they in?"

"Down the hall, last room on the left."

That was all Roman needed. He nodded his thanks at the doctor before going to the room. He stopped right in front of the door, taking a deep breath before going in. Seth was already sitting by Dean's bed, his good hand clasped in one of Dean's. He looked up as Roman entered. "Hey," Roman said softly.

"Hey." In lieu of being able to point at the chair that sat on the opposite side of the bed, he nodded to it instead. "Wanna sit?"

"You really have to ask?" Roman walked to the chair and sat down.

He grabbed Dean's other hand and kissed the back of it. Dean still didn't stir. The bruise on his face looked so nasty under the harsh glow of the hospital lights. Roman made himself look away from it so he wouldn't get sick. He wouldn't ever not feel guilty for causing it.

"Ro?" Seth's voice was so quiet he almost went unheard.

"Yeah?"

"What do you think he's going to do when he wakes up?"

Roman just stayed silent. There was no way he could answer that. And he was fairly certain that he wouldn't like it when they found out.

* * *

Dean knew there was something wrong before he even opened his eyes. The mattress he was laying on was hard and unfamiliar. The noises around him weren't the ones he was used to. They were all too loud, a far cry from the quiet creaks and groans of the house. He didn't like this already. Where was he? Where was Bray? His head felt fuzzy, leaving everything unclear.

"Dean?"

The voice made Dean's eyes snap open. What happened before he got knocked out came rushing back. Seth and Roman. They had come to the house. Dean thought it had been a dream at first. It was supposed to be. Roman was dead. Bray had said he was. But both he and Seth had insisted that was wrong. They had been angry at Bray. They said all sorts of things about him. Called him a liar, told him Bray had hurt him...Dean hadn't liked it. Bray had saved him. Bray loved him more than they ever had. They didn't get to talk to him like that.

"Dean."

Seth's voice. He had attacked Seth for lying. And then he had gone after Roman for trying to hurt Bray. Bray. Where was Bray? Dean kept looking in every direction he could but didn't see him.

"Dean." Roman spoke now. He and Seth were on either side of him, giving him apprehensive looks. "Dean..."

Dean yanked his hands out of theirs and scrambled to the end of the bed. He tumbled over the edge and hit the floor hard. They both said his name now, but he barely heard it. He kept looking around, panic rising in his chest. Hospital room. He was in a hospital. There was no Bray. They had taken him away, just like Bray said they would if they were found. "No no no..." he shook his head as he whimpered. He had stayed at the house like a good boy. He hadn't gone anywhere to be seen. How had they found him? Bray would have been careful...this wasn't making sense. "Bray!" His voice was barely a croak. He coughed desperately to clear it, ignoring the looks Seth and Roman gave each other. "Bray!"

"Dean!" Roman took the lead in approaching him. Seth was right behind him though, his arm in a cast. Dean didn't remember that happening. Maybe Bray had done it to him while he had been out. "Dean please..."

"Bray." Dean scrambled back away from them, trying to maneuver himself so he could get to the door. "Where's Bray?"

"He's not here," Seth answered.

"What did you do?" Dean tried to be tough and mean as he asked the question. Fear betrayed his voice however. It made it weak and pitiful; it even cracked before the question was fully out. "What did you do to him?"

The guilty glance between Roman and Seth did nothing to ease Dean's fears. He pushed himself up and tried to head out of the room. Roman's hands grabbed him before he could get far. The touch made him scream and he dropped down, trying to slip himself right out of his grasp.

"Roman!" Seth's eyes bugged as Roman tightened his grip.

"BRAY!" Dean fought harder to get away from Roman. He didn't care that he was attracting the attention of the doctors and nurses. "BRAY!"

"Dean stop!" Roman shook his head. It seemed like he wanted to grab Dean's face to force eye contact, but he didn't dare let go of his arms. If he let go now there was probably no way he'd get a hold of him again. "He's not here. He's gone."

No. Bray wouldn't leave him. Unless...jail. That was it. They had him put in jail. It wouldn't be the first time it happened. "I wanna see him." Dean swallowed hard and gave Roman a desperate look. "I wanna see him. You gotta let me see him."

"You're not seeing him."

Dean's eyes narrowed. "You can't stop me." He tried to pull himself away again. "I can see him if I want." He looked back to the doctors and nurses, who looked to be at a complete loss over this. "They've been lying. I love Bray. I want to see him."

"Dean you can't see him," Roman tried to explain yet again. "There's no way."

"Can. I can. Visited people in jail before. I can get him out. Tell them it was a mistake. You lied. You both lied..."

"Dean he's not in jail. He's...Dean he's gone."

The words didn't register in Dean's brain. Bray couldn't be gone. He wouldn't just leave. "You're lying." Dean swallowed hard, his anger finally making his voice stronger. "You're a liar."

Roman shook his head. "I'm not lying. He's gone. I'm sorry, but he's not coming back."

"Liar!" Dean kicked Roman right in the shin. "Fucking liar. He wouldn't leave. You're just taking him from me." He looked around Roman to give Seth a quick glare before zeroing his gaze back to Roman. "Bray said that's what you're good at. You took Seth and now you're hiding Bray from me too."

"I...Dean no..."

"Dean stop." Seth spoke up now. "Roman didn't do anything to Bray."

"Liar! I saw him. I tried to stop him..." He growled as his attempts to break free still weren't successful. "You hurt him didn't you? Just like you hurt me."

The look of sheer guilt that filled Roman's eyes was indescribable. His grip loosened and Dean yanked himself free. He headed for the door, readying himself to fight through the crowd of hospital personnel who had gathered around.

"It was me."

Seth's voice made him stop and turn around. "What?"

"Don't." Roman shook his head at Seth. "Don't do it."

Roman's plea went ignored. "I put Bray where he is now." Seth held his head up high with the confession. "I can make a couple calls. Ask if you can see him."

Dean eyed Seth warily. Something felt off about the promise. The way Roman was looking at Seth raised red flags. But desperation gave him no alternative but to trust Seth. He needed to see Bray. He had to see if he was alright and see how he could get him back. He needed him back. He didn't know how much time they had been separated now, but it was too long. Panic coursed through his whole body, making his stomach do flips and causing his chest to tighten to nearly unbearable levels. "Let me see him," he finally said. "Please..."

"Okay." Seth swallowed hard, seemingly bracing himself. "Let me make the calls. Then we'll get you to him."

"You better." Dean folded his arms over his chest and went back to the bed, shrugging off Roman's touch as he sat back down. He could be patient. Maybe. Possibly. But he didn't want to be touched. Not until Bray was back to be the one to do it. _Soon_ , he told himself. _Soon..._

* * *

"This is cruel," Roman whispered. "This is so fucking cruel. How are you even okay with this?"

Seth flinched at Roman's words. A few calls and a load of pleading had gotten them taken to the cororner's office. Bray's body had been taken here from the house. Seth wasn't sure what they planned on doing with it. He didn't really want to ask. Instead he just let Dean go up ahead, not entirely sure if the other man had truly realized where they were.

"Fucking seriously Seth." Roman wasn't dropping it. "What the fuck are we doing?"

"What we have to." Seth gave Roman a serious look. "He's not gonna believe that Bray's just gone. He's just not. He'll think he's in jail or that we got him hidden somewhere."

"We could have just said this though."

Seth shook his head. "He thinks we're liars. He'll never just believe Bray's dead. He has to see it for himself." He looked away, not liking the look Roman was giving him. He knew he was right abut this. Roman was right about it being cruel, but he was right about it being the only way. Dean wouldn't ever believe them if they just said it. They had to give him proof. There had to be proof that even he couldn't deny with his obviously altered view on reality.

"And you confessed it to be you because?"

"You're not taking the fall for it. I did it. Even if he blames you too he still needs to know the truth. I owe him that much."

Roman sighed and dropped his gaze, shoulders sagging in defeat.

Neither Seth or Roman could look as the medical examiner led Dean to the blanket covered table that Bray was on. But all the looking away and pretending they were somewhere did nothing to block out the sounds of Dean's screaming as he realized just what they meant when they said Bray was gone.


	32. Chapter 32

_Dean smiled to_ _himself as he felt Bray's fingers gently scratching his scalp. They were laying on the bed, sheets pulled over their naked, sweaty bodies. Dean laid tucked under Bray's arm, his head resting over Bray's chest. Part of him wanted to just go ahead and close his eyes so he could fall asleep, but he didn't. As tired as he was, the part of him that wanted to stay awake was much stronger than the part of him that wanted to sleep. He loved how peaceful things were. He loved the feeling of Bray's fingers in his hair. He loved the way Bray's heart beat in his chest. It was so strong and steady. It grounded Dean, whose own heart was still beating hard in his own chest._

_"I remember when she first led me to you." Bray's voice broke the silence that had fallen between them. "It was like I was actually seeing you for the first time." He moved his fingers aside so he could kiss the top of Dean's head. "I watched you long before I approached you. I saw how much you needed me. Your soul cried and begged for someone to save you." He kissed Dean's head again. "You just didn't realize it at the time."_

_Dean turned his head so he could bury his face against Bray. He didn't want to think about what came before this. Everything from before they had come here was bad. This was better. Everything was so simple now. He was safe here. Bray took care of him. Bray wouldn't ever leave him. Bray loved him more than anyone else. That was all that he wanted to matter now._

_"And at first I just wanted you. You were beautiful and I wanted you to be at my side when I ruled over my kingdom. But then you made that all seem so unimportant. I stopped wanting the world to burn." He raised his other arm, his hand waving around in the air. "It's just faded away now and I'm happier for it. My own family - the one that I built in my own image - ceased to matter." He lowered his arm and put his fingers under Dean's chin, forcing his head to tilt up. Their eyes locked and Dean swallowed hard. "There's only you darlin."_

_"And you won't leave me?" Dean knew the answer, but he liked to hear it anyway._

_Bray pressed a kiss on his forehead. "Never."_

* * *

Dean couldn't stop screaming. His throat begged for a reprieve, but he was incapable of giving it. His eyes were glued to the sight before was laying there on the table, cold and unmoving. Dean had tried to shake him awake, but Bray still wouldn't move. The person with him kept trying to tell him Bray was dead. He didn't want to listen though. The bastard had to be lying. Bray wasn't dead. He couldn't be. Bray was...well _Bray_. He couldn't just go and die. This had to be a trick. Just a cruel trick that would hopefully stop soon.

"Dean." Roman's voice barely broke through the screams. He reached out hesitantly and put his hand on Dean's shoulder.

Dean immediately jerked away from the touch. He didn't want Roman. He didn't want Seth. He wanted Bray. But Bray still wasn't moving. He was just laying there, making Dean absolutely panic. "Wake up." His voice cracked as he made the plea. "Please...Bray please..."

Roman cast a look back at Seth, who kept his eyes firmly planted on the floor. Dean whimpered and leaned forward so he could press his ear against Bray's chest. The heartbeat that used to go so strongly wasn't there. There was nothing now. Reality started to really set in. Bray was dead. Bray was actually dead.

"No..." Tears burned his eyes. His chest tightened and his breathing quickened. "You said you wouldn't leave me." The words were an accusation. They were ones that would make Bray angry and earn him a punishment. But that was fine. He would take all the punishment in the world if Bray would just come back to him. "Don't leave me. I need you."

"Dean." Roman tried to touch him again. "Dean we're sorry."

The words finally made Dean stop and turn to them. Roman was giving him a pleading look while Seth kept his gaze at the floor. Anger started to mix with the grief and panic. They had done this. Seth had said he had done it himself, but Dean knew better. Roman obviously had helped. The two of them were always in it together. And now they had done something he had never seen coming. He thought they would have taken him away. He had never thought they would take Bray instead.

"We're sorry." Roman apologized again, speaking for both him and Seth. "We're so sorry."

"Liar." Dean kept close to Bray's body, unwilling to let it go just yet. "Fucking liar.."

"Dean no."

"I need him." Dean could barely see through the tears that wouldn't stop. "I need him and you took him away."

"Need him?" Seth finally looked up. His eyes locked on to Dean's and Dean shrank back. Roman tried to step in between them, but Seth's eyes refused to break away. "Dean, do you remember everything he did to you?"

"Seth not now," Roman pleaded.

"He took care of me." Dean tried to get a hold of himself. Seth was starting to tell more lies. He couldn't let himself listen.

"He kidnapped you." Seth wasn't about to just shut up. "He fucking kidnapped you how many times?"

"No."

"He hurt you."

"No."

"He raped you."

"No." Dean put his hands over his ears and shook his head. He wasn't listening. Instead he looked to Bray, his eyes begging the lifeless man to come back and shut Seth up.

"Seth come on." Roman put his hand on Seth's abdomen and tried to push him back. "That's enough."

Seth used his good hand to push Roman away. His gaze stayed locked on to Dean, who still had his hands planted over his ears. "He tried to fucking kill you. Multiple fucking times. Dean, come on. You can't tell me you forgot about that."

"Shut up." Dean shook his head and closed his eyes. He wasn't listening. The words were meant to pull at something in him but he didn't let them. Instead he kept his hands over his ears and his eyes firmly shut. This wasn't happening. It had to be a nightmare. That was what he wanted so badly. Yet he wasn't waking up. He was still here in this awful room, Bray no closer to coming back to him. What was he supposed to do? He needed Bray. Yet Bray wasn't there. They took him away. They took him away and he let them. He ruined what Bray had given him, just like he ruined everything else in his miserable life.

A high pitched whining filled the room. He didn't even realize it was coming from him. His eyes stayed closed, not letting him see the frightened looks on Roman's, Seth's or the medical examiner's faces. "Dean." Roman was the one to speak now. "Dean come here."

Dean stayed rooted to the spot, not moving until he felt a pair of hands on him. The touch finally snapped something inside of him. His eyes opened and he found himself shoving Roman aside to lunge at Seth. Seth had said he had done this. Even with Roman having to have something to do with it, Seth was the one who had confessed. Seth had to pay.

Seth's eyes widened. He tried to move out of the way, but for once he wasn't fast enough. Dean crashed into him with all the force he could manage. The force sent them both down to the floor. Roman was yelling something, but Dean didn't care to listen. Instead he wrapped his hands around Seth's throat and squeezed as hard as he could.

"DEAN NO!" Roman moved to grab Dean while the medical examiner ran to get the officers on the other side of the door. "DEAN!"

"You son of a bitch!" Spit flew past Dean's lips as he snarled. "YOU SON OF A BITCH!"

Seth's hand reached up and tried to pry Dean's fingers off. With only one good arm though, his efforts were completely futile

"I HATE YOU!" Dean squeezed harder, barely feeling Roman's attempts to yank him away from Seth. "I FUCKING HATE YOU! I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!"

"DEAN!" Roman yanked harder, this time getting Dean off of Seth. Both of his arms locked themselves around his waist while his legs moved away not only from Seth but from the cops that were coming in.

"LET GO OF ME!" Dean kicked and flailed his arms wildly. He knew his blows were connecting, but Roman showed no signs of feeling them. "LET GO!"

Roman didn't let go. Instead he held on more tightly, yelling at the cops to get Seth out of there. Seth was still on the floor, his hand on his throat as he gasped for breath. Dean let out a snarl that turned int a scream by the end of it. Bray was gone. The cold, harsh reality of the situation was making him want to throw up. Bray was gone, which meant that he was alone. What was he going to do now? Where would he go? He didn't want Seth and Roman. They took Bray away. They did this. And now Seth was shrugging off the cops' help and giving Dean a desperate look while Roman was cooing in his ear, begging him to calm down. And Bray was still on that table, dead. Dead dead dead. Lost to him forever, unable to save him.

Dean felt his body go limp as a fresh wave of sobs washed away the fight in him. Roman still had him in his arms, not allowing him to fall to the floor. People were saying stuff to him, but he wasn't listening. He just stared at Bray's body while the horror of the situation started to really hit him again. Bray was dead. Bray was fucking dead and he was all alone.

* * *

Dean needed to be sedated before they could manage to take him away completely from Bray's body. They tried to do it without it, but he would scream and fight all over again. Now they were back at the hospital, Roman and Seth sitting by the bed Dean had originally woken up in. Due to his own behavior, the cops had handcuffed him to one of the metal railings attached to the bed. Roman had tried to argue against it. Dean needed to be able to trust them. Sticking him in cuffs like a prisoner wasn't going to do that. But his objections went ignored. The hospital staff wouldn't take the chance of him hurting someone again. The bruises that had now formed around Seth's neck didn't help Roman's argument. Seth himself had offered nothing for or against the argument of restraining Dean. Instead he just stayed quiet, texting someone the entire time Roman had put up a fight. Roman couldn't lie, that fact really got under his skin. He tried to bury the fact that it did, but he wasn't being at all successful.

"Why did you have to push him like that?" The question finally came bursting from Roman's mouth. Seth was still texting and Dean was still unconscious and Roman finally couldn't take just sitting there.

Seth looked up, his brown eyes narrowing angrily. "What?"

"You didn't have to start in with him back there." Roman was already regretting speaking like this, but he couldn't find it in himself to stop now. "He's fucking been through enough."

"...Are you fucking kidding me Roman?" Seth set his phone down to sit on the tray next to him. "Are you really fucking saying this to me?"

"He's fucking traumatized Seth. You didn't have to go at him like that."

"Yes Ro, I fucking had to. WE fucking have to." Seth leaned forward, accidentally going too far and jarring his broken arm a bit in the process. He winced and leaned back, his words taking on a strained tone now. "Do you think Bray wasted any time? Do you think Bray fucking waited until Dean was "ready". Huh?"

"We shouldn't be doing fucking anything like that son of a bitch."

"And we can't let Dean glorify him in his own head!" Seth pointed to the bed angrily. "Bray fucking brainwashed him. Bray fucking twisted him into burying everything that he did to him so far down just so he could paint himself as his fucking savior. Do you really want to fucking let that shit linger? Because we will NEVER really have him back if we let him keep thinking the way Bray wants him to think."

"But you didn't have to start right then and there." Roman scooted his chair closer to the bed and placed his hand over Dean's. The cold handcuffs were nearly touching him and he hated it. He hated this is what it had come to. "Not when he was like that."

Seth snorted loudly. "Yeah, and what was your way getting us? Tell me, what did fucking actually lying to him by saying that we're sorry do? He fucking didn't believe you. And that time he had every right not to!"

"I was sorry. I was sorry that he was fucking hurting. I was sorry that it ever came to this. I still fucking am."

"Well that still don't change the fact that he won't believe a word you or I say until we fucking dropkick Bray's influence out of him."

"And being a blunt asshole is going to do that?" Roman needed to stop. He needed to be more reasonable. But he couldn't. He was so tired emotionally and mentally and he couldn't hold it together. "Dean needs love. He needs support."

"Are you saying that I don't fucking love him?"

"No, but -"

"That's basically what you fucking said."

"That's not what I said!" Roman slapped the hand that wasn't over Dean's against his leg. "Don't fucking go twisting my words around."

"And there you go again. You're fucking turning this around and blaming me!" Seth stood up, his whole face blazing in his fury. "Fucking fuck you Roman! I fucking love him. I'm fucking trying to support him."

"I never said you -"

"I fucking loved him before I loved you so don't fucking tell me shit about him. Hell, I fucking loved him when you could barely tolerate him."

"And you fucking turned your back on him to be all over my dick during that time, so what the fuck does that say about you?"

The silence that followed that statement was one of the most uncomfortable things Roman had ever experienced in his life. Seth just stared at him, his face an unreadable mix of emotions. Roman almost thought he was going to come over and hit him. He honestly wished he would. It was what he deserved for even thinking to say that. Instead he just stormed out, slamming the door shut behind him. Roman flinched at the sound. His gaze immediately turned to Dean. The noise hadn't woken him up. Roman let out a shaky sigh before burying his face into his hands. Why had he even opened his mouth? What was he trying to do? He needed to fix things, not break them apart more. Yet here he sat, having just fucking done it. "Fuck fuck fuck!" He kicked the heel of his foot against the floor in frustration. He was stupid. He was just so very fucking stupid.

* * *

While Roman had argued against Dean being restrained, Seth had texted Roman's mother to get some of Roman's family to fly out and help them get Dean home. Nearly getting strangled had made him realized he and Roman couldn't do it alone. And the fight that had happened afterwards had only reinforced that. They were falling apart. Dean was already broken and now they were joining him. Seth hated it. Finding Dean was supposed to fix everything. But emotionally they had been stretched too thin for months, and the added stress of Dean hating their existence had pushed them all over the edge.

Patti, Sika, Naomi and Tamina arrived to find Roman and Seth still not speaking to each other. They both tried to keep some form of communication open with Dean, but he was just shutting them out completely. He either just stayed stubbornly silent or cried and carried on until he tired himself out. The cycle was absolutely exhausting. Seth tried not to let that show though. No matter if it was his or Roman's way of handling this that worked, it was going to take time to undo the damage Bray did. They knew that. But that still didn't make it easy to accept. It didn't mean it wasn't frustrating to watch Dean mourn for the man who had hurt them all so much.

Upon arriving home, Dean barricaded himself into the main guest room. Roman tried to coax him out, but he wouldn't budge. That put Patti and Sika in the second guest room while Naomi took the couch. Seth tried to get her to switch with him, but she wasn't hearing it.

"I'm fine on a couch. It's not like I haven't don it before." She put her bags down in the corner so they would be out of the way.

"It's still not right." Seth sat down in the chair. His arm was throbbing again, but he didn't want to take his pain pills. They made him feel too shitty to really function. "You're a guest."

"I'm family." She plopped down the couch with a sigh. "I'm sleeping on my own couch anyway. It's not like this will be any different."

He frowned. "What do you mean?"

Her gaze dropped down and she shrugged her shoulders. "It's too hard to sleep in the bed without him."

Jimmy. She was talking about Jimmy. And now Seth felt like an asshole for pushing the subject. "Sorry," he mumbled.

"You should talk to Roman." The change of subject was abrupt, but clearly needed. "You guys can't keep fighting. Dean needs you to get it together."

"I know that." Seth folded his arms over his chest. "You don't got to tell me that shit. I know it already."

"Yet here you are, not even speaking to him." Naomi leveled him with a serious look. "Look, I don't know what you guys said to each other. But I know there's no way you two really meant it. You two love each other and you love Dean. You fought to get him back, and now you're just helping to drive yourselves apart."

Seth didn't say anything this time. He just stared down at his feet while he chewed on his lower lip. He knew she was right, but it was just so hard. It hurt to watch Dean continue to worship Bray. It hurt that Dean looked at him as a murderer and it hurt to know that the only reason Dean hadn't taken off was because he had become too dependent on Bray to go off and take care of himself now. It all just fucking sucked, and he and Roman had definitely unfairly taken it out on each other. That wasn't what they had needed to do. They were just making the shit worse.

"Talk to him," Naomi encouraged. She motioned for him to go right then and there. "Now. Shoo. Be gone with you."

He nodded and got up. "Thanks Naomi."

"Any time."

* * *

"Dean." Roman rapped his knuckles against the door again. He had tried to just go in, but found the door locked. "Dean please open the door."

"Go away," was the muffled reply he got.

Roman persisted with his knocking. "Dean come on. You need to eat something."

"Go away."

"Just a little something."

"I said go away!" There was a loud thump on the other side of the door. Dean had apparently thrown something at it.

"Honey, just leave him be for now." Patti put a hand on Roman's shoulder. His father had gone to lay down, leaving her to be at his side. "He'll come out when he's ready."

But what if he wasn't ever ready? That was the question Roman wanted to ask. But he forced the words back down. Instead he let his mother lead him away, the two of them intending to go downstairs to the kitchen. They got halfway down the stairs when they ran into Seth. The lanky man's good arm wrapped around Roman, his face going into the crook of his neck. Roman froze momentarily, needing a moment to get over his surprise. Once it passed he hugged Seth back, his lips repeatedly pressing kisses against the side of Seth's head. "I'm sorry," he mumbled beetween kisses. It felt good to get the words out. He should have said them a thousand times already.

"I'm sorry too." Seth whispered. "I really fucking am."

Roman nodded, moving his head back so he could press his forehead against Seth's. He looked at Seth's closed eyes, watching as the younger man took slow, deep breaths. He still felt like he needed to apologize, even with knowing that Seth had forgiven him. He moved his hands so they were holding Seth's head and started placing kisses all over his face.

"Now that's better." Patti spoke gently, not wanting to be too rude, but also not wanting them to start going too far right there in front of her. "That's what I like to see." She put a hand on each of their arms and kissed their cheeks. "Now come on. I want you two to come downstairs and let me make you some food. You boys need it."

Roman and Seth both nodded, despite neither of them really being hungry. It was easier to just agree rather than argue with her.

* * *

_Darkness surrounded him on all sides. Dean had no idea where he even was. He tried to force his eyes to adjust, but he couldn't see past the blackness. He whimpered and wrapped his arms around himself. He hated this. He didn't want to be alone. He wanted to cry out for someone to find him, but the sound wouldn't leave his throat. Fear and anxiety combined to make his chest so tight that he could barely breathe. Alone. This was what he had always been afraid of. He was alone and there was nobody left who wanted him. "Bray?" He still said the name in hopes he would get an answer this time. That was all he wanted. He wanted...no, he needed Bray back._

_"Bray?" He took a couple of hesitant steps forward. He couldn't see where he was going, but he couldn't just stand still. "Bray?" His voice cracked and he hated it. He just wanted to be home. He wanted to be back at home and not here in the dark or in the house Roman and Seth tried to call his home. His face twisted at the thought. They had taken Bray from him. They had taken him away and tried to lie and said they did it because they loved him. He didn't believe them. Bray said they were liars. Bray was the only one who told him the truth. But now Bray was gone and Dean didn't know what to do._

_"Little lamb."_

_Dean's eyes widened. The voice pierced through the darkness, making his heart skip a beat. "Bray?" He whipped his head around in every direction. He still couldn't see shit. But he had heard him. He fucking knew he had. "Bray!"_

_"Ssshhhh..."_

_"Bray please." Dean hugged himself more tightly as he whimpered. "Where are you?"_

_"I'm right here darlin."_

_"But WHERE?" Dean stomped his foot childishly. "I can't SEE you."_

_"I know you can't. You haven't earned it yet."_

_Dean swallowed hard. "What do you mean?"_

_Bray chuckled dryly. "You let them take me away. I saved you and you couldn't even do me the same kind of courtesy."_

_Dean dropped his eyes in shame. He had tried. He really had. But of course he had failed. That was all he was ever actually good at._

_"But you can fix it." Bray's voice cut in, replacing guilt with hope. "You can make it right. And then you can find me again."_

_"How?"_

_No answer. Bray was gone._

_"Bray?" Dean nearly sobbed in panic. "BRAY!"_

Dean woke with a gasp. He sat straight up, his eyes needing a moment to realize he was in the guest room of Seth and Roman's house instead of in the unknown darkness. He had curled up on the bed and fallen asleep without really realizing it. He swallowed hard and rolled off the bed. The muscles in his legs felt weak and shaky. His body was still drenched in a cold sweat. Bray's words were repeating themselves in his head. Make it right. Make it right. And then he could see Bray again. Yeah. He could do that. He might have been confused in his dream, but a sense of knowing shined through. He knew exactly what to do.

He carefully crept out of the room. The house was dark, though not as pitch black as his dream had been. He didn't know what time it was, but it was definitely late. Everyone was fast asleep. He let out a deep breath before slowly going down the hall. He held his breath as he passed the bedrooms, his paranoid mind convinced that Seth and Roman would wake up and stop him. But they didn't. They stayed asleep and he was able to get himself down the stairs. He kept on moving, going through the living room to get to the kitchen. Naomi was sleeping on the couch, but she didn't stir either.

Once he was in the kitchen, he went through the stuff that was on the microwave. One of his lighters was still there. He took it into his hand and shoved it into his pocket for the time being. Next he went through the door that connected the kitchen to the garage. His heart started to beat faster. His hands were nearly shaking in anticipation. He flipped on the light, both feeling bolder and knowing that he needed it to find what he desired. He searched as fast as he could, breathing out a sigh of relief when he foudn the gas can by the lawn mower. He picked it up and shook it around. It was almost completely full. Roman always kept it that way. He nodded to himself and unscrewed the cap. He began to pour it out carefully, making a trail from there in the garage back into the house. He went through the kitchen and then the living room. From the living room he went up the stairs and back down the hall. He threw some of the gas against Roman and Seth's door before letting the trail reach back into the room he had been sleeping in. He didn't bother to close the door behind him. He didn't need to. He was going to do this in one fell swoop. He would make everything right and find Bray. Just like he was meant to.

He held the gas can over his head and dumped the rest on himself. He kept his eyes and mouth shut, shuttering as it soaked his hair and skin. The fumes were overpowering. So strong and...familiar...

_Dean bit back a whimper as he watched Bray move into the shadows. He was so fucking screwed. He was shirtless and tied up on a rope that hung from the ceiling. They were in some old warehouse. He wasn't sure where Bray had found this place. It didn't really matter. What mattered was that nobody else would. They were all alone and Bray had lost the last little bits of his mind. Roman and Seth saving him from the compound combined with him rejecting him at the hotel had fucked him over. Dean wished he could put up more of a fight. His mind screamed for it, but he was both bound too tightly and just too exhausted from their match earlier._

_"I only wish your little friends could be here to see this. I could just imagine how their faces would look." Bray stepped back out of the shadows with a gas can in hand. Dean swore his heart stopped completely. This was it. This was what it had come to. He was going to fucking die right then and there._

_"Wait wait wait no no no..."_

Dean gasped and dropped the gas can. He could taste the fuel on his lips but he didn't care. He was too busy shaking his head at the sudden memory. This couldn't be true. No. It couldn't be. It had to be a trick or something. Some kind of trick because Bray wouldn't do that. Not his Bray.

_Dean's whole body shook as he waited. He was completely drenched with gasoline. He wanted to scream but he didn't. No good would come from it. Nobody would save him now. All he could do was wait until Bray struck the match. The other man was right on the cusp of doing it. Dean cried quietly as the moment stretched on and on. The anticipation was awful, but the pain that would follow would be even worse. Oh god let me die quick. Please let it be quick..._

Dean gasped and stumbled out of the room. He went to the bathroom and shut and locked the door behind him. It was real. The memory was too real. He could feel the fear coursing through his veins like it had that night. He could see Bray's face, the psychotic fury that had driven him to nearly killing them both. Rage, jealousy, blame - Bray had blamed him for everything. Dean kept trying to shake the memory off, but it wouldn't leave him alone. It kept crashing in, overpowering the Bray that Dean had come to known.

Dean let out a whine as he went to the mirror. He didn't bother to really look at his reflection. Instead he smashed his fist against the mirror and gripped one of the shards of glass tightly. Tears burned his eyes as he pressed the sharp edge of he glass against his head. He had to get this out of him. He didn't want it at all.

_"LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME!"_

Dean whimpered and started to cut.


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In honor of Wrestlemania weekend (and just figuring most everyone was going to be preoccupied with the ppv tomorrow), I present to you a very rare day early update. Believe me, I'm very shocked I managed this.

"Roman! Seth! Wake the hell up!"

Naomi's voice made Roman sit straight up. He blinked, needing a moment to realize she was actually speaking. "Nae?"

"Sika! Patti!" She knocked on their door so loudly it almost sounded like she was pounding on Roman and Seth's. "Wake up! Up up up!"

"The fuck?" Seth was awake now too. He sat up, wincing as an obvious jolt of pain went through his injured arm. "Naomi! What's up?"

"It smells like fucking gasoline out here!"

Roman and Seth exchanged fearful looks before scrambling out of bed. Those were not words that they expected or wanted to hear. They stumbled towards the door, Roman clad in a t-shirt and boxers while Seth just had on a pair of sweatpants. Roman got to the door first and threw it open. The smell of the gasoline nearly choked him on the spot. Without thinking he took off his shirt and handed it to Seth. "Put that over your mouth."

"The fuck is going on?" Seth took the shirt, but didn't finish complying with Roman's order. "What the fuck happened?"

"The whole house smells like that." Naomi had pulled up her tank top over her nose and mouth so she could breathe a bit easier. "Dean's not in his room either. I think he did this."

"What?" Roman immediately moved towards Dean's room. The door was opened and all he found inside was the gas can on the floor. "Dean!" He wanted to deny that Dean had started to do this, but there was really no way to. But what had made him stop? Had he come back to his senses or had it been something else? Either way, he needed to be found.

"Son..." Sika stepped up behind Roman and put a hand on his shoulder. That was all his father could manage to say. He was clearly at a loss otherwise.

"Get the others out of here." Roman forced himself to pull it together. He couldn't just stand there and look stupid. He had to act. Now. "I'm going to find him."

"I'm helping," Seth declared.

"No."

"Yes."

"Boys..." Patti's words were cut off with a cough.

"Come on." Sika grabbed her hand and went to reach for Naomi. "You two are coming with me." He gave Roman a look. "If you can't find him in a few minutes come outside. For all we know, he's standing somewhere ready to light a match."

Well that fucking wasn't a comforting thought. Roman swallowed hard, his legs now moving to start all the other doors in the hall. His father led his mother and Naomi down the stairs, but Seth still refused to go. Instead he went to the bathroom door before Roman got there, a frown crossing his face as he pressed his ear to the door. "What?" Roman asked. "What is it?"

'I think I hear him."

Seth's answer didn't bring the relief it should have. It couldn't. Not when they didn't know what Dean was about to do.

"Dean!" Roman strode over to the bathroom door and tried to open it. It was locked. "Dean!" He pounded his fist against the door so loud Seth quickly stepped back. "DEAN!"

The only response that came was the sound of sobbing. Roman looked to Seth, who just nodded. Roman immediately stepped back and kicked the door until it finally flew open. It hit the wall with a bang that Roman barely even heard. His mind was too zeroed in on the sight waiting for them inside the room. Dean was on his knees, a broken shard of glass clutched tightly in his hand. His blond hair was completely red and it took Roman a moment to realize it was soaked with blood. Dean had been using the glass to cut open his own skull. And with the fingers on his other hand, Dean was digging at the cuts, trying to actually slip his fingers inside of them.

"DEAN!" The cry came from Roman and Seth at the same time. They both moved towards him at once, Roman getting there first because Seth stopped to grab a towel. Roman wrapped a hand around Dean's wrist and took the glass away from him. Dean couldn't offer much of a fight to keep it. He tried, but he was too weak from blood loss. Roman tossed the glass aside and grabbed the towel from Seth's hand. "Call 911," he ordered as he put the towel over Dean's head. "NOW!"

Seth abruptly turned and ran out of the room, nearly slipping and falling in the process. Roman pressed the towel tightly to Dean's head, hoping he could at least somewhat stop the bleeding. "Dean what the fuck?" His voice rose a couple of octaves as he asked the question. "What were you doing?" He slid an arm around Dean's body to hug him to his chest while keeping one hand pressed on the towel. "What the fuck were you doing?"

Dean's only response was to sob. His arms hung limp at his side, his body relaxing against Roman's because the fight in him was just gone. He reeked of gasoline. Every part of him stunk of it and if it had been on his head too then Roman couldn't even imagine what the hell it was feeling like on the cuts.

"Fuck!" Roman maneuvered Dean carefully, doing his best to keep pressure on the wounds while also picking him up. They couldn't stay in there. Inhaling all these fumes could not be good for them. It was making him cough and gag now as he tried to take a big enough breath to give a shout. "SETH! GO OUTSIDE!"

"WHAT?" Seth yelled back.

"OUTSIDE! I'M TAKING DEAN OUT!" Roman carefully moved out of the room, nearly running into Seth, who was still on the phone with the 911 operator. Seth immediately switched to pressing the phone between his ear and his shoulder, using his now free good hand to help hold the towel against Dean's head. Roman nodded his thanks and they got themselves outside. His parents and Naomi were in the driveway waiting for them. Roman didn't really take a glance at the looks on their faces as they saw them come out. Instead he just set Dean on the ground, kneeling down with him as he put his hand back on the towel.

"Take this." Seth handed the phone off to Patti and put his hand back on the towel right after. "The ambulance will be here soon." He swallowed hard, neither he or Roman realizing that Naomi was running around to the back of the house. "Dean what did you do? God what were you doing?"

"Out." Dean barely managed to croak out the word. "I want it out. Let me get it out please please please..."

"What are you talking about?" The question came out angrier than Roman intended. He didn't mean to sound angry. Maybe he had a right to it because Dean had intended to kill them all, but he was more scared than anything else. Dean was sick in the head. Bray had poisoned him worse than he ever thought possible. And now Dean was bleeding everywhere and what if he was losing too much blood? What if they found him too late? Sure he was still conscious for now, but it didn't seem like he would stay that way for much longer. The fresh batch of sobs coming out of him were weaker than the ones before. "Stay with us Dean." Roman pushed aside wanting to understand what had brought this on for now. "Dean stay with us. Come on." He kissed Dean's forehead, not caring that he tasted blood and gasoline on his lips.

"Here." Naomi was back with the hose. "We gotta get it off his skin."

Right. Roman didn't know what the hell gasoline could do to the skin (or breathing it in for that matter) but he knew it couldn't be good. He gave her the nod and winced a bit as some of the cold water got on him. Seth let out a low string of curses and Dean whimpered, trying to twist and get away from the blast of water. "We gotta do this." Roman tried to keep his voice as soothing as possible. "Let us help you."

Dean stopped moving, though he still cried and whimpered. The sound of sirens caught their attention. Roman looked up to see the ambulance pulling up in front of the house. His parents moved towards it, looking to meet with the paramedics as they came out. The neighbors were coming outside to see what was going on. He tightened his grip on Dean, wanting to keep him shielded from everyone's gaze. "It's going to be okay," he whispered. "It's all going to be okay."

Whether he was trying to convince Dean or himself of that, he didn't even know anymore.

* * *

Nearly two dozen stitches was what it took to close up all the cuts on Dean's head. Some of the cuts were worse than others, but there were so many that his whole head had to be shaved to treat them all. The doctors gave him a transfusion after and now he laid in the hospital bed, unconscious and restrained to keep him from hurting himself again. Seth and Roman were being allowed to sit with him for the time being. Sika, Patti and Naomi were in the waiting room, wanting to be nearby in case they were needed. Dr. Walsh was on her way. Dean needed to have a psychological evaluation done and Roman and Seth had called her and begged her to do it. She knew Dean's situation. She could maybe have more luck getting through to him than some new doctor would.

Seth let out a sigh and kept pacing back and forth. He couldn't just sit still. He had tried but just couldn't bear it. They were going to have to put Dean in a psychiatric facility. There was really no way around it. The help he needed was more than they could ever give him. It was a realization he hated, but what else could they do? They couldn't piece Dean's mind back together this time. They couldn't just hug and kiss him and assure him that they loved him. Dean had to learn to actually function without Bray. He had to realize that Bray was an obsessive psychopath that brainwashed him and not the loving, caring boyfriend he pretended to be all those months. And if they were nothing but liars in his eyes right now, then someone else needed to get through to him.

A choked sob made Seth stop moving. He turned, expecting to see Dean awake and freaking out again. But it wasn't him. Instead it was Roman, who was desperately trying to reel himself back in. His eyes were squeezed shut and he was biting down on his lower lip. But the longer he tried to hold it in, the more he fell apart. Tears slipped past his closed eyes and small whimpers started to escape him. "Ro?" Seth swallowed hard, barely able to say that simple word. He didn't know what to do. He wanted to do something before Roman lost all control but he was at a complete loss.

Roman leaned forward in his chair. His elbows rested on his knees and he buried his face in his hands. The whimpers were only silent for a few seconds. Then the sobs broke free, his shoulders shaking violently as he finally let it all out. "Oh god Ro..." Seth finally made himself move. He couldn't just stand there and keep doing nothing. "Roman babe..." He stopped behind Roman's chair and wrapped his arm around his chest. More words begged to be said, but he had no idea which to use. So he just sighed and ducked his head down to press his lips to the back of Roman's neck. The kiss finally alerted Roman to how close he was. Roman tried to jerk away, seemingly ashamed of how he was acting. Seth tightened his grip, moving his mouth to Roman's ear now.

"It's fine. You can let it out. It's okay."

Roman moved his hands from his face, now grabbing hold of Seth's arm. His grip nearly hurt, but Seth didn't let himself complain. Instead he stayed still, letting Roman pull himself together at his own pace. Finally he was able to stop, letting go of Seth's arm to rub his red eyes with the back of his hand. "Sorry," he mumbled.

"Don't be." Seth ran his hand over Roman's hair. "Need a tissue?"

Roman just shook his head.

"You sure?"

A nod.

"What do you need?" There had to be something. Seth couldn't just stand there and not be able to do nothing for him either. It was bad enough that they couldn't really do anything for Dean. He didn't want to add Roman to the list.

Roman's answer was to simply pull Seth on to his lap. He wrapped both arms around him and buried his face against his neck. Seth stayed perfectly still, giving out a few mumbled "I love yous" every now and then in a bid to be comforting. It wasn't much, but it was really all he had. Hopefully it was enough.

* * *

_Dean's hands pushed against Bray's chest but the force he was using wasn't enough. Bray's mouth kept attacking his, his tongue down his throat and his teeth biting at his lips. His heart was still pounding wildly in his chest, the consequence of the car crash they were nearly in. As much as he had panicked initially though, it was suddenly occurring to him that he might have been better off if they had actually gotten into the wreck. The way Bray was kissing him...something was off. He couldn't put his finger on what it was, but it felt wrong. He needed to get away. Now._

_The kiss was broken and he found himself being thrown to the_ _backseat. He landed half on the seat and half not. Within seconds he was_ _grabbed by the back of the neck and turned around. His eyes met Bray's and_ _they widened with fear. The look Bray was giving him was terrifying. It was_ _wild. It was crazed. It was feral even. He had to get out of there. Now. He_ _had to get out now._

_"Fucking stop!" Dean kicked his foot out without even thinking. He_ _managed to hit Bray right in the stomach. The blow was enough to take the_ _wind out of Bray just for a moment. Dean scrambled for the door, getting it_ _open and managing to slide half of his body out. Almost free, he told_ _himself. Almost free..._

_"We told you."_

_He froze and looked up. Roman and Seth were standing there, looking_ _at him with a mix of exasperation and disapproval. Seth was the one who had_ _spoken. He never could resist the urge to say "I told you so". Roman was_ _silent so far, but he didn't have to speak. The look on his face spoke_ _volumes._

_"We told you." Seth knelt down to be eye level with him. "We told_ _you what he was. But did you listen?"_

_Dean swallowed hard. He didn't need this right now. He needed to_ _just keep going. But he was frozen, staring helplessly at Seth's face._ _"Please..."_

_Seth's face wrinkled in disgust. "Oh now you want us? After what you_ _tried to do?" He stood back up, kicking his feet against the ground to make_ _some dirt fly into Dean's face. "Fuck you." His gaze went up behind Dean._ _"Take him."_

_Large hands grabbed Dean by the waistband of his jeans and yanked_ _him back into the car. Dean screamed, his hands desperately trying to grab_ _at the door to keep himself from going back in. The door just shut with him_ _though, the sound of the lock clicking echoing in his ears. "No no no!"_

_"Come to me little lamb."_

_Dean was flipped on to his back and suddenly they weren't in the car_ _anymore. The scenery changed to somewhere dark and cold. A warehouse full of_ _gasoline. Bray was on top of him, his hands pinning him down against the_ _cold, dirty floor. He moved inside Dean, his thrusts hard and fast and_ _brutal. Tears of pain streamed down Dean's face. He tried to find a way to_ _push Bray off but he couldn't even budge. He was helpless. The most he could_ _manage was to turn his head to the side and keep sobbing. He had been bad._ _He didn't know what he had done, but he must have been really bad._ _"Please..." He could barely get his voice to work. "Bray please I'll be good_ _please stop..."_

_"Come to me little lamb."_

_Another time. Another place. Dean was still trapped, though now it_ _was on the bed in the house. Rope held him in place instead of Bray's hands._ _Bray sat next to him, his dead, glassy eyes staring down at him. Dean tried_ _to wiggle against his restraints, but there wasn't any real give in them. He_ _whined and looked at Bray desperately. "Please please please..."_

_"Please what darlin?"_

_"Untie me." Dean swallowed hard and tried to hold himself together. Somethng was uncomfortably familiar about this position. And that wasn't a feeling he liked at all. "Please I'll be good. I'll be so good please..."_

_Bray's lips twitched into a smirk. "You beg so sweetly." He ran his fingers over Dean's face. "It almost makes me forget how you failed me."_

__Dean whimpered and tried to rub his face against Bray's hand. "I'm sorry..."_ _

_"Sssshhh." Bray moved his hand down to Dean's neck. "I can make it right still." He wrapped his fingers around Dean's throat and started to squeeze. "I'll make it right."_

_Dean's vision blurred with tears. He tried to cry out, but the sound was cut off by Bray's grip tightening. "That's it little lamb." Bray smiled as Dean started to squirm. "Die with me darlin."_

Dean woke with a loud gasp. He tried to sit up and put his hands to his own neck. He swore he could still feel the hand around his throat. But his hands wouldn't move right. He looked at them in confusion, his eyes widening as he saw the restraints. His stomach dropped and he started shaking. He knew what this was. He had been bad again. "No no no no..." He shook his head and fought to slip his wrists out of the restraints. "Bray please no..."

"Dean." Roman. It was Roman. Roman and Seth and Dr. Walsh were there, surrounding him and making him shrink back against the mattress. Hospital. He was in the hospital again. Bits and pieces of stuff started coming back to him. Bray telling him to make it right. He had failed him before, but there had been a chance to make it right. To avenge Bray and then join him. To be with him like Bray always wanted him to be. He had almost done it. He had been right on the cusp and then he had been stopped. Bad things got in his head. Made him...dream? Remember? He wanted to say dream. His Bray wouldn't tie him up and pour gasoline on him. His Bray wouldn't hurt him. Bray protected him. Bray kept him safe and loved him. He wouldn't hurt him like that. It had to be a trick. It was a trick Seth and Roman had pulled on him. It had to be.

"Dean." Roman spoke again, this time putting a hand on Dean's knee.

Yet the gasoline had felt so real. The ropes that had hung him from the ceiling had felt so real. The fear had been so real and he had been so scared. Even as he tried to push it back down, it kept rearing his head and making him want to throw up. He had tried to cut them out of his brain, but they were still there, taunting him. And there was more like them. Awful little thoughts and stories nestled in his brain, just waiting to explode. He could feel them even as he kept them held back.

"Dean, what were you doing?" Seth spoke now. "What the fuck were you doing?"

Dean didn't answer that. He barely even heard the question. His attention was too zeroed in on the restraints. He remembered this. Good arm tied above his head, his broken one useless beside him. His legs had been tied down as well then. He had been bad. He had been bad to Bray and he had been punished. Bound, blinded and alone - so fucking helpless and so fucking alone. Two of his worst fears combined and he fucking wanted to be sick. He couldn't do this again. "Please..." He was crying. He was crying so hard that his whole body was shaking.

"Hey hey hey." Roman grabbed his face and tried to make eye contact. "Shhh Dean please..."

"I'll be good." Dean couldn't bring himself to make eye contact with Roman. He didn't really want to see him. He still wanted to see Bray. He wanted Bray to tell him all the things in his head really were just lies. He wanted Bray to untie him and tell him he was good. He wanted Bray to say that he loved him and that he wouldn't hurt him and to just be back. But Bray wasn't coming. Bray was dead. And it was his fault. He had the chance to get rid of Seth and Roman before Bray had woken up that night. He could have stopped Bray from dying, but he hadn't. He had failed. Fucking failure. Fucking pathetic. He deserved this. He was bad. Bad bad bad.

But even with that conclusion in mind, he couldn't stop crying. He couldn't get himself to stop fighting the restraints. He tried to make himself stop, but all that happened was he started screaming and crying and fighting harder. Seth and Roman and even Dr. Walsh were talking to him, but he didn't want to hear a word they said. He just carried on, finally forcing the other doctor's to come in and hold him down. He yelped as a needle poked his skin. His arm felt cold for the briefest of moments before his body started to feel heavy. So, so, so heavy. The fight drained out of him and his eyes slid shut as his head dropped back. He heard muffled voices arguing with each other but he couldn't be bothered with telling who they were or what they were saying. Not when unconsciousness was claiming him once more.

* * *

The eventual psychiatric evaluation didn't go much better than Dean's initial waking back up did. Somewhere in trying to kill them all, Dean suffered some kind of full on mental breakdown. Dr. Walsh's guess was that pouring the gasoline on himself triggered memories he had repressed in the months he spent in Bray's captivity. And it seemed to be too much for him. He had the vision he clearly wanted to keep of Bray, but then there was the actual truth. He couldn't handle it. He was too fragile mentally and emotionally to deal with it.

Roman still wanted to bring him home. He wanted to work with Seth to make Dean better. To be the support system he needed. But he was beyond their help for now. Dean was moved to the state psychiatric hospital and everyone kept saying it was for the best. He could get the help he needed there. He could get better and then get to come back home. But as Roman spent many nights sitting up in the kitchen alone, slowly working his way through a bottle of whiskey, he had one occurring thought: what if Dean didn't get better? What if this was it? What if his break was the final break and he stayed in that hospital forever?

The bottom of the bottle offered no answers, but its contents at least numbed him a bit. That was something to be grateful for.


	34. Chapter 34

"How do you feel today Seth?"

Seth kept his eyes down, not really wanting to answer that question. He was in Dr. Walsh's office, participating in a therapy session of his own. Roman's mother had thought both he and Roman needed her help instead of just relying on themselves. He had tried to object, saying that they didn't need to bother her when she was trying to help Dean. But Roman's mother had been adamant. She had gone around them and talked to Dr. Walsh herself, corralling her into agreeing to the idea. Seth had still tried to argue even after that, but once Roman gave in then he did just to not look like a difficult asshole. Things already sucked enough without causing a fight over that.

Dr. Walsh waited, wanting him to answer without needing another prompt. Seth shifted uncomfortably on the couch, really not wanting to do this. He wanted to talk about Dean. It had been several weeks now and not only was Dean still in the institution, but he was refusing to take any visitors. Nearly everyone had tried. Seth, Roman, Roman's parents, Naomi, Tamina, AJ - they had even called up Sami Callihan and had him try. But no matter who went, Dean refused to see any of them. Dr. Walsh was the only one who had seen him and that was only because Dean wasn't allowed to avoid her. Seth hated it. He wanted to just go and make Dean see him. To remind him that he and Roman were the ones who truly loved him. But everyone kept telling him no. It wouldn't be good for him. Not when he wasn't ready. But what if he wasn't ever ready? That was the thought that scared Seth the most. It was what kept him up at night, long after Roman had drank himself to sleep.

"How's your arm?" Dr. Walsh broke down first and asked a different question.

"Alright." Seth glanced down at his cast. "I'm getting it off next week."

"That's good. Have you talked to your family this week?"

"Mom called. She wanted me and Roman to come up and visit."

"Oh? And are you going?"

He shook his head.

"Any particular reason why?"

He could have given her a whole bunch of them. It hurt to see them because it reminded him of when he betrayed Dean. His sisters were still mad at him for getting kidnapped by the Wyatts to begin with. Traveling meant breaking out of the bubble he and Roman had wrapped themselves in. Sure it was a depressing bubble that probably needed to be burst out of, but it was their bubble nonetheless. Roman constantly moved during the days, looking to busy himself until it was time to drink himself to sleep while Seth just drifted, too consumed by his anger and fear to really do much of anything. It wasn't exactly a combination that would make for a good vacation.

"Getting away might be good for you two." Dr. Walsh leaned forward, her brows furrowing as Seth just stared sullenly at her. "You could clear your heads. Let yourselves relax. Letting this guilt consume you is not doing anything but hurting yourselves."

Maybe she had a point with that last part, but Seth wasn't ready to admit it. Instead he let himself scowl, growing angry at the suggestion of going anywhere when Dean was still stuck in the institution. "And what if something changes with Dean?" He folded his arms over his chest and glared at her. "What if he needs us and we're halfway across the country? How is he going to have faith in us if we just fucking leave?"

Dr. Walsh sighed. "Seth..."

Yeah, okay, that probably wasn't likely. At least not anytime in the near future. They had talked about the state of Dean's mind more than once and it wasn't great. Dean was remembering the things he buried down while in captivity, but accepting that Bray was an abusive psychotic fuck was not something he wanted to do. Bray only hurt him because he had been bad. That was the number one thing Dr. Walsh said he was telling himself. Sometimes he would yell and scream that they were lies or dreams and that they weren't real at all, but mostly he just thought he had been bad. Bray had hurt him because he had been bad. Bray had been taken away from him because he had been bad. His sense of guilt had always been horribly misplaced, but now it was even worse.

"You can't keep asking yourself all these what ifs." Dr Walsh spoke slowly, seemingly trying to use her words carefully. "You and Roman both drive yourselves crazy by constantly questioning everything you've done. You both have made your mistakes, but you have also done more than anyone to help Dean." She leaned forward, nearly ready to get out of her chair to come closer to him. "There's not only no going back, but there's no guarantee that doing anything different would have changed anything. Bray was obsessed with Dean. Even if things hadn't been strained between you guys, I feel it's safe to say that he would have just found another way to get at him. He thought he loved Dean. He wanted to possess him. To dominate him."

"And he did." Seth hated saying the words, but they were too true to ignore. "He got what he waned. He...he fucking won." The words were disgusting to say. Seth wanted to puke. He really did. "He won. Maybe for good." He swallowed hard and glared at Dr. Walsh. "Is that what you want to hear from me? Do you want me to come to terms with the fact that there might be nothing that we can do? That Dean's just gone?" He shook his head. "No. Fuck no. I won't." He swallowed again, still fighting the bile that wanted to rise up out of him. "People always give up on him. Only other person who didn't was Bray, and Roman and I can't let that psycho be proved right. We fucking can't."

"I never said to give up on him. I only said putting unneeded blame on yourself is something that you don't need to do. It won't help Dean and it's only hurting you both." Dr. Walsh got up now and finally moved to join Seth on the couch. The gesture was almost too personal, but Seth didn't scoot away from her. He just sat there, switching his gaze down to the floor as she spoke again. "You have to let it go. Let it go and pull yourselves together. You won't be able to do anything for Dean if you don't."

Dean. Seth felt a pang go through his heart. Dean needed them. Even if he didn't want to admit it, he needed them still. He couldn't just take being alone. Even before the whole mess with Bray had started, Dean had possessed a huge fear of abandonment. And now he was stuck in that psychiatric hospital, alone and scared. That wasn't right. Seth couldn't let that be. Even if Dean didn't want to see them, they needed to be there. They needed to do more. "Make him see us." He gave her a pleading look. "Find a way to make him see us."

Dr. Walsh frowned. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"It can just be a short visit. Just like ten minutes every day." Seth wasn't just going to give up on this idea. Not now. "I know he can't come home. I know we can't just help him ourselves. But I don't think you guys can just do it yourselves either. Dean needs love. He needs to be shown that he's worth something to someone. That he's just not some...bad person that's being punished or whatever." He saw her expression faltered and he nearly moved on the couch to get on his knees and finish the plea off. "Let's just try it. Please?"

She thought about it for a moment before nodding.

"Thank you."

* * *

Dean didn't know what he hated most about this place. There were so many things that he could name. He hated how bright it was. The lights hurt his eyes and the white walls that surrounded him made it even worse. Or maybe it was the floor. The floor was hard and cold and silent; it didn't have the comforting creaks and groans that his home with Bray had. And the bed wasn't much better. Dean could only sleep on it when exhaustion completely took over. Or maybe it was the doctors. They were always trying to get on him, wanting him to do things he didn't want to do. He didn't want to spend any time in the community room. He didn't want to socialize with the other patients or attend any therapy sessions. He wanted them to just go away so he could...well he didn't know. He didn't know what the fuck he could do anymore.

He sniffled and let his head drop against the window. He had been staring outside, just watching some birds fly around. He hadn't slept that night. He had dreamed of the bad things again. Bray had cut him over and over again with a piece of glass, putting his mouth against the wounds to tear his flesh apart and drink the blood. It had hurt and Dean had begged him to stop. But Bray hadn't. Instead he kept going, not stopping until the dream itself changed. In the next one Dean had been at Seth and Roman's house, dragging himself across the floor while Bray had stabbed him repeatedly in the back with a screwdriver. That one hadn't lasted too long. Instead he ended up back in the warehouse, tied up and covered in gasoline once more. That was the one he hated the most. Remembering that had made all the other bad stuff come back. That wasn't what he wanted. That wasn't his Bray. His Bray was nice.

_Except when you disobeyed._

His Bray took care of him.

_After he broke you._

He shook his head. He hated this voice. It had started popping into his head and he couldn't make it shut up. He had tried. He had tried really hard. But it just wouldn't stop.

He never loved you.

_Did too._

_No._

_Yes._

_No._

Dean hit his head against the window. He didn't want to hear more. He didn't want to fucking listen.

_He hurt you._

_No he didn't._

_He raped you just like they did. He tried to kill you. He left you all alone._

Dean hit his head against the window again. No. Bray hadn't done that on purpose. That had been Seth and Roman's fault. They had killed Bray. They had made him go away. Bray would never have left him otherwise.

_Except for when he left you tied up and blindfolded for how long?_

Dean felt his stomach turn uncomfortably. No. He didn't want to think about that. He had been bad then. He had deserved that punishemnt.

_Fucking pathetic._

_I know._

_You should have died too._

_I wish I had._

The voice went silent. He breathed out a sigh of relief. The reprieve wouldn't last too long, but he would take it. He took his head off the window and slipped his hand under his shirt. He ran his fingers over the scars all over his chest and stomach, his heart aching at how they felt beneath his fingertips. Bray had loved giving him these. And Dean had sometimes enjoyed it. It depended on how carried away Bray got. But as he sat there now, raking his bitten down nails across the scars, he wished that Bray had just finished the job. He wished Bray would have gone too far and just let him bleed out. It would be better. Everything would hurt less. He wouldn't have to be in here, constantly fighting a war against his own brain. He wouldn't have these memories that painted Bray as anything but his protector. He wouldn't have to deal with the fact that without Bray, there wouldn't be anyone that wouldn't just go and leave him completely one day. Seth and Roman could say that they wouldn't, but how would he know that was true? He had grown apart from them before. If he chose to forgive them for taking Bray away, what would make it so that they didn't grow tired of him again?

_You choose to forgive them?_ The voice was back and laughing at him now. _You tried to kill them. After everything they went through for you, that was how you chose to repay them? Idiot. You'll be lucky if they'll even want to set eyes on you again._

Dean hung his head. He had no kind of argument against that. The voice was right. Even as his head came up with a million different arguments against it, deep down inside, something in him knew the voice was right. And it scared him. No Bray, no death, no Seth and Roman - he was alone. He had nothing. What he had been afraid of all along was now a reality.

It felt like an ice cube had slipped down his chest and into the deepest pit of his stomach. His chest felt tight, his lungs seemingly constricting against his will. He couldn't breathe. Panic had settled in before he could even think to stop it. He curled himself up into a ball by his pillow, ragged gasps for air louder than he even realized. The pounding of his heart filled his ears instead and his brain was practically spinning. Alone. He was alone. He deserved to be alone. Part of him argued that he deserved it for letting Bray die. The other part of him argued that he deserved it for being stupid enough to love the monster. Bray had hurt him, Roman, Seth, their families - back at Roman and Seth's house he had heard Patti and Sika talking about who was going to tell him that Jimmy was dead too. Jimmy was fucking dead just like Jey. They were both fucking dead and it was his fault. It had to be. That was why they had been whispering like that. That was why nobody had directly told him. It was his fault. It was all his fault. He was bad. He destroyed everything he touched. And that was why he deserved this. He deserved to be locked away. He deserved to be forgotten. He deserved it all.

* * *

The throbbing in his temples were what woke Roman up in the morning. It had become such a common thing that he wondered why it really even hurt anymore. Hangovers were a constant part of his life these days. But here he was, head hurting and stomach churning violently. He stumbled for the bathroom, barely making it down to his knees before he started heaving violently. Bile burned his throat as it was expelled out of him. He hadn't ate much the night before. That was obviously a good thing now that this was happening yet again. He grabbed a hold of his hair and pulled it back, hoping that he hadn't gotten vomit on it again. That was really the last thing he fucking needed.

"Oh god Ro..."

Roman felt his body flush in shame at the sound of Seth's voice. Fuck. He had hoped he wouldn't attract his attention yet again. It was always a futile hope. Seth always knew. And Roman hated it. He hated that this was what he had come to. It was stupid. It was pathetic. He was so fucking stupid and pathetic and he hated it.

Seth's hands joined his in holding his hair back. Roman kept heaving, having a hard time making himself stop. When he finally did he stayed down on his knees, taking deep breaths and waiting to make sure he really was done.

"Better?" Seth asked.

Roman finally nodded. He flushed the toilet and stood up, not daring to make eye contact with Seth. Instead he grabbed his toothbrush and the toothpaste, needing to get this taste out of his mouth. He could still feel Seth's eyes on him, which bothered him to no end.

"You know you don't always got to be strong for me." Seth broke the silence when he realized Roman wasn't. "I can take care of you too."

Roman just brushed his teeth, his eyes staring holes into the sink. He shouldn't have to be taken care of. He was the strong one. He was the one who needed to hold it all together.

"And you don't have to blame yourself either." Now Seth was parroting Dr. Walsh. The guy who had nearly thrown a fit about the two of them going to see her was now fucking repeating her damn advice. Roman almost laughed at the irony. "We both got to stop that shit. It's not like it's gonna change anything."

Roman knew that. He wasn't stupid. But it was hard to just stop. It was hard not to imagine scenarios where he could have stopped all this. Where Dean would be home with them and they would be safe and sound and happy. No Bray, no any of it. It was such a silly thing to do. Seth was right; it didn't actually change anything. It didn't do any sort of good. But his brain always refused to stop, not wanting him to feel not guilty for even the briefest of moments.

They got dressed in silence. Roman's stomach was already starting to feel sick again, though that was more from nerves than the hangover. They were going to see Dean. Seth had talked Dr. Walsh into letting them do short visitations with Dean every day now. Roman didn't know what to think of the idea. He wanted to see Dean. He wanted that part badly. But Dean hadn't wanted to see them before, and Roman couldn't see what possibly could have changed now. What if forcing him to see them made things worse? It was hard to imagine a worse after everything, but fuck, knowing their luck, it would somehow come to be. But he didn't offer any kind of objection to the idea. Instead he finished getting dressed and grabbed the keys off the dresser. "Can you drive?"

"Mhm." Seth held out his hand and caught the keys as they were tossed to him.

"Thanks." Roman went to follow him out of the room, but stopped when Seth didn't move. "What?"

Seth wrapped an arm around Roman's waist and kissed him. "I love you."

Roman leaned in so their foreheads touched. "I love you too."

Seth smiled and kissed him again. The kiss was slow and sweet, saying that everything would be alright. And even with knowing it wouldn't be that simple, in that moment, Roman found himself believing it anyway.

* * *

The silence that had filled the room was awkward. Seth and Roman had been taken to one of the visitation rooms and were now sitting at a table across from Dean. Dean had only given them a quick glance before looking away. Dr. Walsh said that he had a panic attack and he was still feeling the effects of the sedative they had given him. Neither Seth or Roman liked seeing him like that. It didn't feel right. Though at least it kept him from freaking out on them. That was the lone positive. Instead he sat there, his hand rubbing over his shoulder and collarbone while his eyes stayed on his lap. Roman and Seth both watched him, both of them faltering on even where to start.

"We miss you," Roman finally said. He couldn't just let himself be the one to not speak first. "We really want you to be able to come home soon."

Dean said nothing. He just kept moving his hand over his shoulder and collarbone, his teeth now chewing on his lower lip.

Roman looked to Seth, who just shrugged and leaned forward, telling Dean the tale of Kevin's latest misadventure. Roman almost questioned it, but then just played along. What was the use in bringing up what had happened before? Dean didn't want to even greet them; tackling the heavy shit wasn't going to do any good. No. Fuck it. They just needed to be with Dean. They needed to show him that he wasn't alone. They needed to guide him back to normality. And they would figure out the way to do it, one way or another.


	35. Chapter 35

Spring turned to summer and with the change came a major heatwave. The days were long and humid, making the heat that much worse. Being outside was one of the last things that Dean wanted to do. Yet here he was, being made to follow Seth and Roman around the hospital grounds. Dr. Walsh and two orderlies followed them, staying nearby in case he decided to freak out on them. Seth and Roman had brought Kevin with them, hence the reason they were outside today. Seth held Kevin's leash in one hand while he hooked his other arm with Dean's. Roman had a hold of Dean's other one, squeezing it gently as he spoke.

"We're thinking of getting another dog." Roman smiled down at Kevin, who was barking at a rabbit he saw a few feet ahead. "Seth wants to get another little guy, but I think we should get a big one."

Seth turned his head to glare at Roman. "Oh yeah. Let's totally get a big dog so he could eat poor Kevin." His voice was thick with sarcasm. "Because that's exactly what we need to do."

Roman rolled his eyes. "Kevin wouldn't get eaten. We would get him and the big dog became friends."

"Kevin can be friends with someone his size," Seth argued. "He doesn't like big dogs."

"Oh yeah? He's sure fooling me whenever I take him to the dog park then."

"Just...you know what Ro. Fuck off." Seth stopped walking and unhooked his arm from Dean's so he could pick Kevin up. "You wouldn't want to live with some stupid big dog, now would you Kev?" He shook his head, completely answering his own question.. "No you wouldn't. That's what I thought."

Roman let out a low chuckle. "Oh god..."

Kevin tilted his head back and licked right under Seth's chin. Seth laughed and hugged the dog more tightly to his chest. Dean watched them in silence. He didn't want them to ask him to pick a side in the argument. He didn't want to be in the middle of it. He liked dogs no matter what their size. He remembered that he used to pretend to not like Kevin, but that was just to be an ass in front of Seth. The jig came to an end when Seth had come home early from training one day to find the two of them playing tug of war with a rope toy. Dean had actually had the end of it in his mouth and was pretending to growl as Kevin tried to yank his toy back into his full possession.

"You want to hold him?"

Seth's question made Dean blink in surprise. He stared at Seth dumbly, who offered Kevin out for the taking.

"Come on. Hold him. He's missed you."

Dean looked at Kevin, who barked and wagged his tail. He swallowed hard and hesitantly took the dog, nearly dropping him in surprise as his face immediately started to get licked. Roman and Seth both smiled as they watched him. Their stares made him uncomfortable. He took a few steps away before sitting down, crossing his legs and keeping his back turned to them. Kevin kept licking his face, desperate to get back some affection in return. Dean scratched behind his ears, humming softly to himself. Kevin was the closest he came to having his own dog. His mother had never let him have one when he had been a kid. The shit hole apartments he stayed in after he left her didn't allow them (and the one that did had an asshole who liked to kill animals living down the hall so he never risked it). And Bray had never wanted to go and get one when they had been together. Dean had asked. He had asked several times. But it hadn't ever happened. Bray hadn't wanted to share him, not even with a dog.

Seth and Roman sat down next to him, making him jump. They both just smiled reassuringly at him, putting their hands on his shoulders to keep him from getting up. "We can wait until you come home," Roman offered. "We'll let you choose the dog. Any kind you want."

Dean said nothing. He kept his eyes zeroed in on Kevin, his humming not ceasing until the dog wiggled out of his arms and tried to go chase a squirrel. Seth grabbed the leash before he got too far, his one hand still staying on Dean's shoulder. Dean tried to wiggle away from both him and Roman, but they held tight. He sighed and picked at the grass, too tired to keep being bothered by them not letting go.

And, while he was too stuck in his head to really admit or even realize it, he let out a sigh of contentment. Some part of him thought it felt nice at least.

* * *

Another day. This time it was storming, meaning Kevin was at home and they were staying inside. Dean rubbed his hand across his collarbone and shoulder, his teeth chewing away at his lower lip. Seth and Roman's visits were not only getting longer, but Dr. Walsh was making them do therapy sessions together. Dean didn't know how he felt about that. He didn't particularly like his private sessions with Dr. Walsh. She always tried to bring up shit he didn't want to talk about. But he didn't get a choice there, and he wasn't getting one now. So here he sat, fidgeting on the couch, squished in between Roman and Seth. They couldn't seem to handle him being anywhere but in between them.

"When you all got together, was it as a trio, or did one of you join the relationship later?" Dr. Walsh wasn't wasting a whole lot of time today. She wanted to tackle their issues and was going all the way back to the beginning to do it.

"It was me and Dean to start with." Seth was the one to answer. His fingers played with a loose string hanging off his shorts.

"Yeah." Roman looked at Dr. Walsh while repeatedly stopping Dean's hands from clawing at his shoulder and collarbone. "We all met in developmental. I had a boyfriend though when I first got down there and we didn't break up until like...January of 2012?" He looked at Seth, who just shrugged. "It was something like that."

"And I wasn't like, interested in dating at first." Seth yanked the string off his shorts and let it fall to the floor. "I was all focused on getting called up to the main roster as fast as possible." His lips twitched into a slow smile. "Then came Dean and he made it his mission to like, flip my whole world upside down."

"What exactly do you mean by that?"

Seth looked to Dean, who was now concentrating more on trying to scratch himself with the other hand. "He came right for me the moment he got down there. I thought it was just about my title at first. I mean, that happens a lot in our business. New guy comes in, picks a title, guns for the champion...it took me a bit to realize he wanted something more."

Everyone looked to him now. Dean tried to shrink further down into the couch, whining at Roman because he still wouldn't let him scratch at himself.

"Dean?" Dr. Walsh probed gently. "Were you the one who pursued Seth?"

"He was at first." Seth answered for him. "Until I realized what he wanted. Then I uh...well..."

"Tease," Dean finally muttered.

Seth grinned. "Yeah, I may have turned into a bit of a tease..."

Dean glared at him while Roman snorted. "A bit?"

Seth shrugged sheepishly. "Okay, maybe more than a bit..."

_Sept 2011_

_Seth was trying to kill him. That was the only logical explanation for this shit. Dean watched the younger man with narrowed eyes, the drink in his hand long forgotten about at this point. A good chunk of the roster had come out to the bar tonight, needing a little fun time after the TV tapings. Dean had parked himself near the bartender, intending to keep to himself as he drank his weight in whiskey. But in had come Seth, wearing the tightest jeans Dean had ever seen in his life. He didn't even know how the younger man had even gotten them on. They clung to every inch of his skin, leaving pretty much nothing to the imagination. And he knew it too. He kept shooting everyone these looks, his hips moving just right to draw even more attention to his ass. It wasn't even fair. It really wasn't._

_Dean forced himself to look away and down the rest of his drink. His own jeans felt uncomfortably tight now. He tried to shift himself around on his stool, hoping the counter was concealing how hard he was. Fucking Seth. Fucker had finally beat him in the ring and was now driving him crazy out of it. Having the tables turn on him had been the last thing he had expected. He really needed to do something about it. The loss of control wouldn't do. He had to get it back one way or another._

_"Anyone sitting here?"_

_Dean looked up, his eyebrows raising as Seth went ahead and sat down next to him. "What would you do if I said yes?"_

_"Not believe you." Seth looked around the bar, gesturing to the co-workers that lingered by. "You're not exactly Mr. Popularity around here."_

_"Good." Dean gestured at the bartender to not only bring him another drink, but to give Seth one too. "I don't fucking like anyone here anyway."_

_"Except me?" Seth asked the question with a cheeky grin. He snagged the drink that was placed in front of him and downed it in one gulp. He coughed immediately after it, his nose wrinkling in disgust. "Fuck. What are you even drinking? Battery acid?"_

_"Whiskey." Dean downed his own shot and motioned for more to be poured._

__"No way." Seth eyed his glass warily as it was refilled. "I've had whiskey before. That shit is battery acid."_ _

_"So you're not gonna keep up with me?" Dean smirked as he grabbed his glass. "That's sad." He drank the contents in another single gulp and slammed the glass down on to the counter. "Never reckoned you to be such a pussy."_

_Seth's eyes narrowed. "Oh yeah?" He mimicked Dean's actions, his nose wrinkling again as his glass connected with the counter. "How's that?"_

_"Not bad."_

_"Fucking damn right." Seth gave an exaggerated nod, the alcohol hitting him faster than it was Dean. "You know something?"_

_"What?"_

_"You never denied liking me." The cheeky grin had returned to Seth's face._

_Dean snorted. "Never admitted it either."_

_"Oh come on." Seth shoved at Dean's arm playfully. "I know ya Ambrose. You've been wanting in my pants since day one."_

_Dean let his eyes go down to Seth's pants, his tongue going across his bottom lip as he imagined what was just under that tight garment. Seth wore less with his wrestling trunks, yet these stupid pants were really doing him in._

_Seth noticed where Dean's gaze was and was so completely smug about it."Can I tell ya a secret?"_

_"What?"_

_"For a bag of dicks, you're pretty cute."_

_Dean smirked. "Oh yeah?"_

_Seth nodded and took another drink. "Want to know something else?"_

_"Hm?"_

_"I kind of want to suck your dick."_

_Dean's smirk grew bigger. "Well go right ahead." He turned himself so his body was facing Seth's, letting the younger man see the bulge in his jeans. "I'm not about to stop you."_

_Seth smacked him on the chest, but it wasn't a blow he meant in the slightest. Not if his eyes were anything to go by. "Fucker."_

__Dean just laughed and dug some money out of his pocket. "Come on." He threw the money down on the counter and grabbed Seth's hand. "Let's get out of here."_ _

* * *

_Dean's place was the one closer to the bar, so that was where they_ _ended up. The moment they were inside he pulled Seth into a kiss, his hands_ _roughly exploring the younger man's body while their lips met over and over_ _again. Seth's hands explored him in return, one repeatedly returning to his_ _groin to squeeze him through his jeans. He groaned into Seth's mouth, his_ _knees feeling weak underneath him. "God fucking damn," he muttered between_ _kisses._

_Seth mumbled some sort of agreement. His hands worked on Dean's_ _belt, trying so hard to yank it off that he nearly fell backwards. Dean_ _steadied him, shaking his head as his hands went to his shoulders. He pushed_ _him down to his knees, giving him a look to stay that way as he discarded his_ _own belt and leather jacket. Seth watched him with wide eyes, moving again_ _to unbutton his jeans before he could do it._

_"God damn." Dean smirked as Seth got the ratty things yanked down._ _"So fucking eager aren't you?"_

_"Shut up." Seth mumbled._

_"Greedy little cocksucker."_

_"Shut up."_

_"You gonna make me Rollins?"_

_The answer to that was yes. Seth took Dean's cock into his mouth_ _eagerly while his hands grabbed Dean's hips, holding them tight to keep him_ _from thrusting unexpectedly. Dean groaned, his knees feeling weak yet again._ _"Jesus fucking christ." Seth's mouth was so hot and wet and so fucking_ _eager. His cheeks hollowed, creating a tight suction around Dean's length._ _Dean reached down, tangling his fingers in long, dark locks._ _He should have_ _done this so much sooner. The fuck had he even been waiting for? He couldn't_ _for the life of him remember now._

_Seth pulled his mouth away to tease the head with his tongue. A hand_ _moved from Dean's hips to his shaft, stroking the length while his mouth was_ _now otherwise occupied. Dean tried to shove his head back down and got_ _slapped on the hand for it. "Oh come on..."_

_Seth smirked and moved his mouth away from Dean's cock completely._ _His hand stroked Dean faster as his mouth moved to Dean's balls. Dean cursed_ _as his eyes fluttered shut._ _"Fuck..." His grip on Seth's hair tightened._ _"Fuck fuck fuck...'_

_Seth's mouth reclaimed his cock, sucking harder than before. Dean_ _bit down on his lower lip. It was more than tempting to let him keep going._ _To just cum right down his throat. But that didn't feel like enough. Not_ _right now. So he pulled Seth back to his feet, kissing him roughly as he guided them to his bedroom. Their feet were clumsy underneath them, causing them to nearly trip and fall before they made it to the bed. Their hands tugged at each other's clothes, the garments nearly ripping completely before they were thrown to the floor. It didn't surprise Dean to find that Seth didn't have underwear on. There was no way to fit any underneath those jeans. "Fucking slut," he mumbled. He wasn't even sure if Seth really heard him. He didn't care anyway. He was more interested in leaving a trail of kisses across Seth's neck, his cock aching even more at the sound of Seth whimpering underneath him. His hand had reached out to the bedside desk, hoping he left the lube in the drawer the last time he had brought someone home._

_"You got it?" Seth turned his head, his eyes watching Dean's hand as it continued to search._

_"Yeah." Dean pulled out not only the lube but a condom as well._

_Seth grinned. "Allow me." Seth took the items from Dean's hands and turned them over so he was on top. He ripped the wrapper open with his teeth and rolled the condom on over Dean's cock. He popped the cap off the lube, pouring the gel over his fingers and sliding them in himself one by one._

__"Holy fucking shit..."_ _

"When did Roman come into the picture?"

Dr. Walsh's voice made Dean jump, which startled Seth. He looked at the blonde man, frowning as he saw him pulling his legs up to his chest. "Are you okay?"

Dean mumbled something before trying to rub at his collarbone again.

"Stop." Roman once again moved his hand back down.

"You stop." Dean glared angrily at him. "Quit touching me."

"You're gonna take your skin off again."

Dean just whined and tried to yank his hand free."

"Roman come on. Just let him for now." Seth gave the older man a pleading look. The whole rubbing and scratching thing Dean liked to do wasn't something he cared for either, but to get through this session they needed to just let it go.

Roman sighed before letting go of Dean's hand. Dean immediately dragged is bitten down nails across his shoulder and collarbone, mumbling something completely unintelligible under his breath. Seth watched him for a moment, making sure he was settled down before returning his attention to Dr. Walsh. "What were you asking again?"

"Roman," Dr. Walsh replied. "When did he come into the picture?"

Right. That was it. "Well like, professionally it was just over a year later." Seth reached out and put his hand on Dean's leg. "Back then me and Dean were still me and Dean."

"Did either of you have an interest in Roman at the time?"

Seth shrugged. "We thought he was hot, but like, it wasn't something we thought a whole lot about at the time." He gave Roman an apologetic look. "No offense."

Roman smirked. "None taken. I didn't have an interest at first either. You two were fucking obnoxious."

"We were not!"

"Were too."

"Were not."

Dean mumbled something, making all eyes go to him.

"What was that Dean?" Dr. Walsh leaned forward to try to hear him better.

Dean wilted under everyone's gaze. The hand not rubbing at himself went to his mouth so he could bite at nails that weren't there.

"Dean?" Roman tried to prompt him now. "Do you got something to say?"

A shake of the head was the response he got. Seth and Roman exchanged looks before letting it go. They didn't want to push too much. Pushing too much got them nowhere. Seth knew Dr. Walsh thought they didn't push enough, but it felt too risky to do. They wanted Dean to be back on their side, not continuing to resent them.

_October 2012_

_"Do you really think we can trust him?" Seth had already asked this, but it was worth repeating. He and Dean sat on the floor of the Performance Center's gym, their sweat soaked backs pressed up against the wall. There wasn't a show today so Seth had come in here originally just to train. Dean had wandered in after, not as crazy for the training since he had been limited to dark matches for the past couple of months. The fallout of maiming Regal's head had left him in big time trouble with the higher ups. Seth had tried to go to bat for him, but despite being made the face of the brand, there were quite a few people who thought he had an attitude and had no interest in anything he had to say._

_Dean rolled his eyes. "Jesus, I said yes didn't I?" Having to go through this again wasn't something he wanted to do. He could pick the same fights with Seth all day long, but whenever Seth did it in return? Forget it. It made him all pissy and he acted like Seth was the worst person in the entire world. "How many more times do we got to go over this?"_

_"It's Paul Heyman. Can you blame me for not exactly thinking we should trust him?" Seth cast a look around, making sure nobody was listening. Nobody was even near them so they were safe. "The guy is a notorious liar."_

__"He's not lying now."_ _

_"How do you know?"_

_"Punk needs backup." Dean rubbed at his collarbone, his eyes darting around to everyone else suspiciously. "He's got Maddox in place to help him get past Ryback, but a dirty ref is only gonna work once. He needs something more reliable to fall back on after the cell match."_

_"Still don't see how he couldn't be lying."_

_"He won't fuck over Punk. He's too up his ass to do it."_

_Seth had his doubts, but kept quiet. There was no real use in arguing about this. When Heyman had come to Dean enlisting in being backup to Punk when needed, the man had filled Dean's head with visions of main roster glory on his head. Being stuck in limbo had him fucked up to begin with, so he hadn't been hard to convince. Seth hadn't been so quick to fall for Heyman's words. He couldn't see the good in trusting him. But ultimately Dean had made him come around. For all he knew, they could keep him down here in NXT for another year just to keep being their poster child. He was better than a lot of people on the main roster. He firmly believed that. Why shouldn't he take this chance and run with it. If he had to fuck over Heyman and Punk later then so be it. He could at least get something out of them first._

_Dean leaned in so his whisper could be heard. "Heyman wants a third."_

_Seth frowned. "A third what?"_

_"Guy. A third guy."_

_"Are you serious?" Seth nearly groaned. "Shit. Who are we supposed to get?"_

_Dean shrugged. "He don't really care. He just wants a third."_

_"When the fuck did he say this?"_

_"Last night." Dean shook his head at the look Seth gave him. "Dude, do you think I want to fuck with someone else? I wanted it to be us. But we got to like, play along and shit."_

_"I can't believe you of all people are playing along to this shit." Seth had to shake his head in disbelief. "You don't scream flunky to me."_

_"I'm not a fucking flunky." Dean spat out the word like it was poison. "So fuck you very much. I just fucking...I can't stay where I'm at now. I can't." Dean swallowed hard and a flash of vulnerability shown through. "I worked too fucking hard to even be here right now. I'm not gonna fucking let them shove me back out. I'm not. I'm not gonna fucking get forgotten and released and be labeled a failure. I'm not fucking doing it Seth. You can't make me"_

_"Alright alright alright." Seth grabed Dean's head, his thumbs rubbing over his temples to steady him. "Relax. We'll get a third guy and then rock this shit. Just relax."_

_Dean mumbled something under his breath. Seth didn't catch it and he didn't push on what it was. Instead he looked around, trying to use the time to scope people. "Not CJ Parker," he immediately said._

_"Fuck no," Dean agreed. "How about Big E?"_

_Seth mulled that over. "If all else fails then yeah, I guess."_

_"What's wrong with Big E?"_

__"I just don't really like the guy."_ _

_"What? Come on! Everyone likes Big E. I even like Big E."_

_Seth snorted. "You don't like anyone but me, so don't fucking lie."_

_Dean didn't offer an argument there. "What about Kassius?"_

_"Fuck no. I'll take Big E over him."_

_"Oh what the fuck is wrong with Kassius?"_

_"He's a fucking douchebag." Seth chewed on his lower lip as he started mentally flipping through names. "What about that Wyatt guy?"_

_Dean looked at him like he was crazy. "Dude..."_

_"Alright, that was a dumb idea."_

__"No shit." Dean bopped him upside the head. "Like seriously. Fucking Wyatt on our team? No thanks."_ _

_"Well what about...what about Roman?"_

_"Reigns?" Dean tilted his head to the side as he thought about it. "That...might not be bad actually."_

_Seth grinned. Even if Dean hadn't fully said yes, he knew they had_ _their choice. He would make sure of it. "I think it could work. He's big and_ _strong, so like, if we gotta overpower someone he can tip the odds in our_ _favor. He's looking to get out of here just like us. And like, we don't hate_ _the thought of being in the same room as him, which is like, a major plus_ _for all of us."_

_"How exactly are we supposed to convince him though? We like, don't_ _really know him. What's gonna make him listen to us?"_

_"Make Heyman do it. If he wants a third guy then tell him to work_ _his magic and make Roman drink the Kool-Aid too."_

_Dean frowned. "I didn't drink any Kool-Aid man._

_Seth clapped a hand on to his shoulder. "Dude, we're carrying out_ _Paul Heyman's orders. We've at least drank a little of his fucking Kool-_ _Aid."_

* * *

_Dean called Heyman later that night, running the idea of using Roman_ _in their group by him. Heyman had enthusiastically agreed. He knew Roman's_ _family for a long time, and had him (along with Dean and Seth) labeled as_ _the future of the company. Dean didn't even need to ask him to do the_ _persuading. He took that initiative all on his own. And by the end of the_ _week, Roman was on their side._

_The Shield, as everyone would come to know them, was born._

* * *

_January 2013_

_Roman let out a groan as the hot water washed down over him. The day_ _had been exceptionally long, so he was glad to finally be getting a break._ _He did have to share a room with Seth and Dean instead of getting his own,_ _but at this point he didn't care. They hadn't been fighting like they had_ _been for the past couple of weeks, so he could stay there without feeling_ _like he was trapped in the middle of World War 3._

__He reached out and grabbed the soap, lazily scrubbing over his sore_ _body. House shows against Team Hell No and Ryback had turned into no_ _disqualification affairs, making for a very long few nights. They were_ _winning though, so he wasn't looking to complain. The Shield, while serving_ _Punk and Heyman when need be, were carving their own path. They took out whoever they wanted to whenever they wanted to. They were the hottest thing going in the company. Maybe even all of wrestling. Anyone that came at them would fall. And if they didn't believe that would have to learn the hard way._ _

_Roman stayed right where he was until he felt the water start to run cold. He turned the knobs and shut the water off, taking a moment to just stand there and let himself air dry. His head was so filled with his own thoughts that he didn't really notice the muffled moans coming from outside the bathroom. His hand claimed the towel (the fluffiest one, which Dean would surely give him hell later for) and he dried himself off before fully stepping out of the shower. He slipped on the boxers and grey tank top he had brought in with him. His dirty clothes were still on the floor, but he decided to just leave them. He could pick them up later on. He grabbed a hair tie and pulled his hair back into a bun. The hairstyle always got him teased by Dean, who liked to say he was a total chick about his hair. Roman typically rolled his eyes, though sometimes he snapped and said at least he still had enough hair to really care for. That always earned him something thrown at his head. It was a low blow, but fuck, sometimes he just had to do it._

_He stepped out of the bathroom and was greeted by the sight he should have known was coming. Dean and Seth were on the bed closest to him, naked and sprawled out on top of the covers that they didn't have the decency to get under. Dean was fucking Seth, one hand wrapped around the younger man's throat while the other rested on his hip. One of Seth's legs was over Dean's shoulder while the other was draped over his waist. Their gazes were locked together, neither of them aware of his presence just yet. He needed to take advantage of the opportunity to just slip away. It was completely weird to just stand there and watch. But he couldn't get himself to move. His feet stayed rooted to the spot while his eyes refused to look away. He drank in every detail of their actions. He watched as Dean's hand squeezed just so, making it hard yet not impossible for Seth to breathe. Seth's nails kept raking down Dean's back, leaving angry red marks in his wake. Dean was muttering something under his breath. Roman couldn't make out the exact words, but it sounded like absolute filth. It had to be. It was coming from Dean. Dean, who was fucking Seth so easily. Dean, who's mantra of words mixed so sweetly with Seth's whimpers and moans._

_"Holy fuck..."_

__The words finally gave him away. Dean and Seth both looked over, neither one of them looking the slightest bit ashamed of themselves. They were both grinning actually, their stares practically inviting him over before they even spoke._ _

_"You gonna stare all night Ro?" Dean was the one who spoke first. His thrusting still hadn't ceased, though he did take his hand off Seth's throat. "Because we dont mind an audience."_

_"Or you could jump in." Seth reached a hand out for Roman to take. "We don't mind sharing either."_

_Roman just stared at both of them, his brain not able to fully process the offer at first. Finally his feet moved, his hands sliding his tank top over his head and tossing it aside. He yanked the hair tie out of his hair, for once not caring if a few pieces came with it. His hands went to the waistband of his boxers next, getting them partly pulled down before Dean's and Seth's hands joined in. They broke their embrace to pull him on the bed, Seth's lips attacking his while Dean yanked his boxers the rest of the way down so he could engulf his cock in his warm, wet mouth._

_If he had known they'd be this eager he would have done this two months ago._

"It was just sex to start with." Seth took a long drink of his water before putting the bottle back down by his feet. "Me and Dean were the couple and Roman joined us in bed sometimes. But then it kept happening and then we were always together anyway so like, us became all three of us. And it was good. It was good at first. Dean and I needed that balance. We need that rock for when we fly off the handle."

_May 2013_

_"How the fuck could you be so careless?" Seth was completely irate. He paced around the whole living room, Kevin clutched tightly in his arms. He had come home from the gym to find Dean chasing Kevin down the block. Dean had left the gate open by mistake and then hadn't realized it before letting the dog out. Kevin had taken right off, intending to go who knows where before Dean managed to reclaim him. Having his dog back safe and sound didn't do anything to soothe Seth's anger though. He got right in Dean's face, picking this fight because he wanted to just throttle him._

__"It was a mistake!" Dean was on the defensive now. He knew he had fucked up. He knew how protective Seth was of the little dog. And he knew something could have happened and it was lucky he had even seen the dog running off. But once Seth had started yelling it had taken away the apology he would have actually given. "Jesus fucking christ. It's not like anything actually happened to him."_ _

_"But it could have!" Seth wasn't backing off. He was too pissed. Dean didn't fucking think sometimes and it always got on his nerves._

_"But it didn't!"_

_"He could have gotten run over!"_

_"But he didn't!"_

_"He could have gotten away completely!"_

_"But he didn't!"_

_"Stop fucking saying that!"_

_"But it's true!" Dean was nearly ready to hit him right in the face. He really was. "I fucked up. I know I fucked up. But I caught him and he's fine. Fucking get off my ass."_

_"I fucking trust you with him." Seth didn't notice Roman slipping into the room nor did he hear the loud sigh coming from the older man. "The least you could do is not act like such an inconsiderate fucking asshole."_

_"Hey hey hey." Roman chose to interject before Dean could reply. "That's enough."_

_Seth shook his head. He didn't think it was enough. Far from it in fact. "But -"_

_"Come here." Roman grabbed Seth by the hand and started to lead him away. "Let's talk."_

_Dean watched Roman lead Seth out of the room, an ugly feeling making his stomach twist unpleasantly. He tried to tell himself it was stupid. Roman was just trying to get Seth to calm down. It was better this way. He wasn't good at making Seth listen. Roman could do that. But even as he told himself that, an uglier voice gnawed away at him. Why did it have to be Roman that could make Seth listen? Why wasn't he good enough for that? And why did Roman almost always take Seth off to the side when these arguments started up? Why couldn't he get Roman to console him one on one more often?_

_"Fucking stupid." Dean shook his head as he muttered under his breath. That was what this whole thought process was. That was what he was. A fucking stupid shit head who couldn't do shit right._

_A little while later Roman and Seth came back, Seth looking good and cowed. He apologized for losing his temper as much as he did and he asked more nicely for Dean to be more careful next time. Dean just nodded, not really making eye contact with either him or Roman. The voice in the back of his head kept lingering on, making him clam up and act sullen instead of just accepting the apology. Seth let out a frustrated huff while Roman just shook his head. Neither were surprised by his reaction, but he could tell that they were far from happy with it even as they dropped the subject._

"When did things start to break down?" Dr. Walsh thought they were doing good so she tried to keep them going. "A wedge obviously arose that allowed Bray to capitalize. What got in the way?"

_"A wedge was never needed."_ Bray's voice rose from the darkest corner of Dean's mind. _"They never loved you to begin with little lamb. They just got tired of pretending until it served to piss me off."_

_"You got in the way."_ Another voice popped up, but it wasn't talking to Bray. It was talking to Dean himself. _"You pushed them away."_

_"They never wanted to be there to begin with,"_ Bray argued.

_"You pushed them away so you could be right in having them leave you too."_

_"Pushed yourself right into my arms."_

_"Only reason he loved you was because he was crazy."_

Dean whimpered again.

"Dean?" Roman sat up, a worried look crossing his face.

_"And now look at you."_ The not Bray voice sounded disgusted. _"So weak. So pathetic. And you'll do it again won't you? You'll push them away and leave yourself all alone."_

Bray's laughter echoed in Dean's ears. He was long gone yet he could still hear him so perfectly. _"My poor little lost lamb. Only place for you is here with me down in the fire."_

_"Weak."_

_"Come find me."_

_"Pathetic."_

_"Come here darlin."_

"Stop it." Dean put his hands over his ears and shook his head. His heart was starting to race, his stomach twisting and threatening to spill its contents all over his own lap. "Stop it..."

"Dean." Seth and Roman were both grabbing at him, trying their best to steady him. "Dean come on. Come back to us."

Dean tried to get up, but his legs wouldn't work right to allow it. They had turned to jelly underneath him. He tried to say something but all that escaped him was another whimper.

"We're done." Roman's voice left no room for argument. "We're taking him back to his room."

Dr. Walsh just nodded. They tried to help him up, his legs giving out on him yet again. Roman scooped him up before he fell too far, holding him tight as Seth led the way out of the room. Dean struggled momentarily before letting his head fall on Roman's shoulder. The voices were still in his brain, eating away at him. But they were a bit quieter now, which was a reprieve he'd just have to accept.


	36. Chapter 36

"Are we ready to try again?"

Dr. Walsh's question was met with silence. It was another day and another session for the three of them. Dean sat between Seth and Roman, his gaze firmly planted on his lap. Roman had his arms folded over his chest while Seth was incessantly fidgeting. He had tried to stop, but he couldn't. What Dr. Walsh wanted to talk about had him all kinds of nervous. Full on tackling the events that created the rift Bray capitalized was essential. He understood that. But he couldn't help but be afraid that anything that was said would get twisted inside Dean's head and do even more harm to him.

"Yeah." Roman was the one to answer. He didn't sound so sure about that, but one of them had to bite the bullet and say it. They couldn't keep avoiding this, no matter how much they wanted to.

"I'm gonna have each of you speak." Dr. Walsh's eyes scanned back and forth between all of them. "I think it's important to get all of your perspectives on this matter." She waited to see if they had anything to add in. When they didn't, she decided to start with Roman. "Where do you think things started going wrong between the three of you?"

Roman didn't answer immediately. Seth and Dr. Walsh both watched him, clearly seeing how uncomfortable he was. "I think it was um...communication," he finally said. "A lack of it." He swallowed hard, picking up the tiniest bit of confidence when nobody started yelling at him. "Like that and just letting stupid shit build up and fester." He nodded along to his own words. "I mean like, with Seth and Dean, they used to be really bad with talking things out. So like, when they fought, it turned into screaming matches and it would feel like I was in the middle."

"Did you resent them for it?" Dr. Walsh asked.

"It just...it was just irritating. Like, they both could be such stubborn assholes about things." Roman unfolded his arms to place his hands on his knees. "But I think that um...I didn't help things by talking to Seth more."

"What do you mean?"

"Well like, when they fought, I tended to pull him aside more than I did Dean to talk to him. I didn't just like always take his side on the matter. I just...I felt like I knew how to talk to him better. It was easier to get through to him than it was Dean." He looked at Dean, who was still refusing to make eye contact with anyone. "I'm not blaming you or anything. Don't get it twisted. I should have tried harder. I didn't even stop to think that how you would feel always seeing me pull him aside."

Dean stayed silent. Seth wished he would say something, even if it was just throwing all of this back in Roman's face. At least then he would be able to tell where his head was at.

"Seth?" Dr. Walsh turned to him now. "What is your take on the matter?"

Seth bit on his lower lip and shrugged. "I mean Roman had a good point. The communication thing was sucking. Fights would happen, whether they would be between me and Dean for something stupid, or Roman and Dean over stuff at work. They both fancied themselves as the leader so they would butt heads. And then we wouldn't really talk it all out. If I fought with Dean, Roman would just try to make me bite the bullet and apologize. And I'd do the same thing with him. We weren't fixing anything. We were just like, slapping a band aid over a growing wound."

Dr. Walsh nodded and looked to Dean. "Dean? Can you say something about this?"

Dean mumbled something under his breath.

"What was that?" Roman decided to be the one to push.

"They didn't want me anymore." Dean tried to make himself shrink right there on the couch. He stole a glance at Dr. Walsh, still ignoring both Seth and Roman.

"They didn't want you anymore?" Dr. Walsh asked while holding a hand up to silence Seth's objection.

Dean shook his head.

"Why didn't they want you anymore?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Because I'm me."

"Oh god Dean no..." Seth felt like the world's biggest asshole. He knew Roman did too. He didn't even have to look at him to know it.

"What is that you think you do Dean?" Dr. Walsh studied Dean intently as he started to fidget.

He mumbled something incoherent again.

"What was that?"

"I...fuck up. I always fuck up." He got up and retreated to a different chair, unable to handle having Roman and Seth stare so closely at him. "I fuck it all up. Bad. I'm bad."

"Dean no." Roman tried to go closer to him, glaring at Seth when he reached out and stopped him. "Dean you're not bad."

Dean wasn't listening. Instead he pulled his legs up towards his chest and buried his face into his knees.

_October 2013_

_Dean tapped his foot erratically against the floor as he stared out the window. Seth had wanted him to spend the few days they had off with him and Roman in Florida. He had been fine with the idea at first, though now he was almost wishing that he hadn't come. In staying there he had found that a good chunk of Roman's things were at the house. Like enough to be considered halfway moved in. And neither one of them saw it as a big deal. They just waved it off, telling him that maybe if he moved back to Florida he could have a place there too. It seemed like they had meant it. But even so, something about it just bothered him. Seth hadn't wanted to move to Vegas when he had wanted to relocate. He would come and stay sometimes, but he wouldn't make a full on move. And a voice in him, that fucking insecure, soul eating voice that twisted him up inside kept telling him that if Roman were the one to ask Seth to move anywhere, the younger man would do it without question. It was a bad thought. It was a bad, bad thought that had made him snap at both Roman and Seth and made them both go to take Kevin for a walk rather than staying and dealing with him. But he couldn't make it stop. It gnawed away at him, making his skin crawl._

_He cursed under his breath before standing up. He couldn't just sit still. It was never something he had been good at. He needed to move. Needed to do something to distract himself. He moved back and forth across the living room, doing his best not to glance at the clock as he went. He didn't want to focus on how long Seth and Roman were gone._ _He had to find something_ _else to focus on. It didn't fucking help there was nothing on TV. He had_ _already tried to find something and had failed miserably. Maybe he needed to_ _just watch a movie. Sure he had seen most of Seth's a million times, but it_ _would give him something to do. Or he could go out and grab a pack of_ _smokes. He was in desperate need of some anyway. Roman and Seth had been on_ _him about quitting, and he had tried to appease them by going cold turkey_ _again. He really wished he hadn't done it now. Not smoking always made his_ _bad moods even worse._

__He was halfway to the door when something in him made him stop. His_ _eyes went to the picture Seth had sitting on the table that was shoved up_ _against the wall._ _It was one_ _Seth hadn't gotten a frame for yet. Dean picked it up and studied it_ _closely. It was a picture of him, Roman and Seth from last Christmas. They_ _had celebrated it together since Roman's parents had been out of the country_ _and Seth hadn't really been speaking to his that year for whatever reason._ _Dean couldn't always keep track of the Rollins' family drama. They had gone to some party hosted by one of Seth's old Ring of Honor buddies. Thankfully not Jimmy Jacobs. Dean would have bailed that night if it had been Jimmy. They had all gotten drunk, which was when someone had snapped this picture. They had all gotten drunk, which was when_ _someone had snapped this picture. They were sprawled out on the guy's_ _couch, laying all over each other because they had been that drunk. Dean_ _stared at the picture, his stomach clenching the longer he did so. Roman_ _and Seth looked so right sitting together like that. It was him that_ _stuck out like a sore thumb. Him and his stupid face, which was making_ _some dumbass expression._ _He couldn't ever just smile normally in a picture. No, he always had to go look like a fucking asshole. It fit though, considering that he was a fucking asshole._ _

_Dean set the picture aside, turning it face down because he didn't even want to see it in passing. He muttered a few curses under his breath before going out the door, not even bothering to grab his keys or lock it on his way out. He just needed to get out and get those smokes now more than ever._

_November 2013_

_"Dean come on." Seth tried really really hard to keep his_ _exasperation in check. Letting it show wasn't going to help anything. But_ _the harder he tried, the harder it became to do. He found this whole fight_ _to be absolutely ridiculous. All he wanted was to have both Dean and Roman_ _come home with him for Thanksgiving. That was it. The drama of finally_ _coming out to his family had settled and they wanted to meet Roman and Dean._ _Roman had immediately agreed to the idea. Dean however, was putting up a_ _fight. It wasn't a fact that surprised Seth. Dean's family, from what Seth_ _knew of them, had been pretty terrible to him. But what was getting Seth mad_ _was that even after telling Dean how important this was to him, the other_ _man still didn't seem to give a shit._

_"I don't want to go." Dean poked at his food, which was mostly_ _uneaten. "I don't like family shit."_

_"Nobody ever does," Seth pointed out. "But I really want you to do_ _this for me."_

_"But why? They're not going to like me anyway."_

_"Dean come on." Roman spoke up now. He was already rinsing off his_ _plate, having already finished his food. "It's not going to be that bad."_

_Dean's eyes narrowed at Roman. "Why do you always have to take his_ _side?"_

_Roman froze, the vein by his eye twitching as Dean chose to pick_ _this fight. "I don't always take his side." He put his dishes down and shut_ _off the water. "But this is important to him." He wiped his hands off with a_ _towel before turning to fully face Dean. "I don't want to spend Thanksgiving_ _away from my family, but I am because he asked me to."_

_Seth made a face. "Geez, way to make me feel like an asshole Ro."_

_Roman ignored his words in order to keep talking to Dean. "You're in_ _a relationship Dean. Sometimes you gotta bite the bullet and do shit you_ _don't want to do."_

_Dean opened his mouth to object when Seth cut him off._

_"Fuck it. You don't want to go? Fine. Me and Roman will go."_

__The words didn't have the effect Seth was expecting. He had thought_ _that was what Dean had wanted to hear. He was letting him out of this. But_ _now Dean just looked even more upset. He pushed himself up out of his chair_ _and stormed off, leaving Seth and Roman to just look at each other in_ _confusion._ _

"Was that fight the breaking point?" Dr. Walsh zeroed in on Seth, who had told the story of the Thanksgiving blowup. "Dean has mentioned before that by the time Bray got to him, you two were more of an exclusive thing while he was on his own."

Seth winced, absolutely hating the mere mention of Bray. "Yeah...that was basically it. Along with more like it." He looked back and forth between Roman and Dean and swallowed hard. "It seems so stupid in retrospect. We shouldn't have let ourselves get driven apart like that." He looked at Dean, who was now chewing on his lower lip. "I'm sorry. I really am."

"I am too," Roman added. "We don't want things to ever be that way again. We want you to get better. We want to get past all of this. We want you to come home."

Dean finally looked at them. The expression on his face was unreadable.

"You don't have to stay here." Seth decided to keep pushing. He wanted to take advantage of the fact that Dean actually seemed to be listening to them. "We can do better. We can all do better this time. We love you. You can come home with us and Kevin and we can do it right this time."

Dr. Walsh turned to Dean and now all eyes were on him. He shivered and looked back down, not offering acceptance or rejection to Seth and Roman's words. Seth chose to focus on the lack of rejection. Dean not rejecting their words were vital. Maybe they were actually getting through to him. They could hope anyway.

* * *

Dean whimpered as he turned on the bed yet again. He couldn't sleep. He could never really sleep here unless they drugged him. The bed was too uncomfortable and his mind never shut up long enough to give him any sort of peace. Seth and Roman's words kept repeating themselves in his head. Home. They wanted him to come home. He had rejected their home before. He tried to burn it all down to the ground. But they still wanted him back. And now, after spending...god how long had he been in this place? Weeks? Months? Probably months. Time escaped him a lot anymore without him fully realizing it. But after months in this place, the thought of going to any kind of home was enticing. He hated it here. He hated the doctors. He hated the other patients. He hated being alone. That was the big thing. It was what he deserved, but he hated it so much. During the nights that he actually fell asleep, nightmares would plague him until he either woke up screaming or in tears (and at times both). That was always the worst. He needed someone with him. He needed someone who would at least pretend to care. Roman and Seth used to do it for him. Bray used to do it. Now there was nobody. Not in this place. He had to get out of there.

_"And what do you think going back to your boys is going to do?"_ Bray's ever persistent voice spoke to him again. It wasn't in his head quite as much as it used to be, but it still hadn't gone away completely. He didn't tell anyone that he heard it. He knew they would really think he was crazy if he did that. _"How long do you think it's going to be until they get tired of putting up with you again? They don't love you like I do. Nobody will ever love you like I do."_

But Bray was gone. That was the thing. Bray had gone away and left him all alone. What was he supposed to do now?

_"You were supposed to join me little lamb. You were supposed to get them back for killing me and then find me. But you couldn't even do that right could you?"_

Dean whimpered. He remembered that plan. He had tried to do it. He had wanted to do it, but then that awful memory from that night of the warehouse had stopped it. It had petrified him, sending him into such a state that he ended up here.

_"Such a pathetic, stupid little lamb."_

Dean whimpered again before putting his hands over his ears. He was starting to like Bray's voice less and less. It was mean to him. It wasn't the Bray that had loved him and taken care of him. It was bad. It was a bad Bray.

_"There was only the bad Bray."_ The other voice was back. It made his stomach knot up so tight that he felt nauseous. _"There was nothing good in him. He was only ever nice to you when he either was trying to trick you or when you had nowhere else to go."_

Dean tried to shake his head. "Not true. Not true not true..."

_"Bray!" Dean's voice was hoarse from screaming. He was still bound and blindfolded on the bed. His tied up limbs had long gone numb, which scared him. How long had he been laying there? Hours? Days even? He couldn't tell. He couldn't even look out the window to see a resemblance of the time passing. He had tried wiggling his head to slip out of the blindfold, but it hadn't worked._ _He couldn't do this on his own. "Bray!" His voice cracked in the middle of his cry, forcing him to stop and cough violently. The tickle in his throat was so intense, leaving him barely able to breathe. Water. He needed water. When was the last time he had a drink? He didn't even remember. "Bray!" he finally managed to say again. "Bray come back. Please come back."_

_He didn't know how long he waited. Every second dragged by, feeling_ _like an entire eternity in itself. Tears burned his eyes, slowly slipping_ _out even with the blindfold wrapped so tightly around him. "Please..." his_ _plea was barely audible to his own ears. "Please..."_

_The sound of footsteps finally came._ _Dean whimpered and tried to_ _prop his head up. He didn't have the strength to hold the position for long._ _The lack of food and water had taken his strength away. "Bray?" he croaked_ _out hopefully. "Bray please..."_

_The door creaked as it was opened. Dean made himself stay still,_ _wanting Bray to see he had been good. The footsteps got closer, finally_ _coming to a stop as Bray's hand slipped under Dean's head._

_"Drink." Bray pushed Dean's head up and brought a glass of water to_ _his lips._

_Dean obeyed, nearly crying at how good the water felt going down his_ _throat. It didn't last nearly long enough. Bray took it away too soon,_ _making him whine in protest._

_"That's enough"_

__"But -"_ _

_"No. You're lucky I allowed you to have any at all." Bray was_ _glaring at him. Dean didn't need to see his face to know that. He knew that_ _tone well enough to know what it meant._ _"You were crying out for them again_ _last night."_

_Dean shuddered. Bray was talking about Seth and Roman. It wasn't_ _something Dean had meant to do. The nightmare he had made him do it. In it_ _he had been back at the house Harper had taken them the night he almost_ _died. The dream had see him watching them both die as opposed to just Roman._ _Harper had come after him next, stabbing him over and over again until he_ _had woken up screaming. He remembered screaming for Bray, wanting him to_ _save him like he had before. He hadn't realized he had said Roman and Seth's_ _names though. "I...I didn't...no..."_

_The mattress dipped as Bray joined him on the bed. "You're mine_ _little lamb." Bray's voice was soft. Dangerously soft. A calm before the_ _storm kind of soft. "How many more times do we have to go over this before_ _you finally understand?"_

_Dean tried to say he understood. He really did. Roman was dead. Seth_ _would hate him for that. Everyone would, except for Bray. Bray was all he_ _had now. He couldn't have Bray mad at him. Yet here he was, having managed_ _to accomplish just that. He was so stupid. And he couldn't even get out the_ _words to apologize. He tried, but the words kept dying before they passed_ _his lips._

_Bray's mouth claimed his in a brutal kiss. He whimpered, trying his_ _best to return it and maybe appease Bray in some fashion. Teeth bit into his bottom lip, trying to tear it right off his face. Tears of pain_ _filled his eyes and his head instinctively tried to jerk away before he_ _could stop it. That only made Bray angrier. His nails raked down Dean's_ _sides, digging in so hard he surely drew blood. Dean whimpered, his lungs_ _burning for breath._

_"Mine," Bray growled. He pulled his mouth off of Dean's to start_ _leaving a trail of brutal bites across his neck. "Do you understand me?_ _You're mine."_

_Dean nodded helplessly, crying out in pain as Bray's teeth found_ _the spot where his neck and shoulder met. He could hear the sound of \_ _Bray's zipper being undone. His heart froze in his chest. Oh god. He_ _didn't want this. Not now. Not with the mood Bray was in. Sometimes he_ _craved Bray's touch, needing the closeness after being alone so much. But_ _this was a punishment. Bray would make him hurt. And there was nothing he_ _could do. He tried to apologize. He tried to beg for mercy. But his pleas_ _fell on deaf ears. Bray's teeth reclaimed Dean's lips as he roughly_ _shoved his cock inside of him. Dean's screams were swallowed down, the_ _tears of pain streaming out from under the blindfold ignored as he kept_ _thrusting roughly. The taste of his own blood coated his tongue. Too_ _much. It was too much. He tried to block it out. He tried to slip out of_ _his own mind and body, but Bray didn't let him have that mercy. He never_ _did. He wanted to consume every inch of Dean. He wanted to burn right_ _through him, until there wasn't a part of Dean that didn't belong to him._ _And he was. There was nothing else for Dean to hold on to. No Roman, no_ _Seth...he had to learn to obey. He had to be the Dean that Bray wanted_ _him to be. Everything would be okay if he did that._

Dean shuddered as loud sobs escaped him. He had curled up into a ball on the bed, barely able to breathe he was crying so hard. He didn't want these things in his head. He didn't want to still remember how it felt when Bray hurt him. But he couldn't make it stop. All the things Bray had done to him were replaying themselves in his head. Every time he kidnapped him, every time he raped him, every manipulative thing that had ever come out of his mouth, every way that he hurt everyone around Dean just to get what he wanted...all he had ever brought was pain.

More sobs poured out of Dean as he grabbed his pillow and hugged it to his chest. He remembered how he used to crave Bray. A touch or a kiss from him used to burn right through him, driving him more wild than Seth and Roman ever did. And the things Bray said...he claimed he understood him. He said they were cut from the same cloth. He said they belonged in the dark together. Maybe that had been true, but he couldn't even know it now. He was too twisted up now to know which way was up. Bray's obsession had consumed them both and destroyed everything around them. And now Bray was gone and Dean had nothing left inside of him. He had nothing to even offer himself, let alone anyone else. He was a broken, pathetic shell. And he hated it. If he had thought he hated himself before, it was nothing compared to how he felt now. He had been so stupid. He had let Bray in and gotten what he deserved.

"Dean?" Dr. Walsh's voice cut through the haze he was in. Her hands gently grabbed at him, trying to turn him over. "Dean look at me." She got him over, looking away just long enough to shoo off the other doctors. "What's the matter?"

Everything. That was the answer. But he didn't say that. Instead he just sniffled and tried to make himself breathe. He just wanted so badly for the pain to stop. He hated it. Even if it was what he deserved, he couldn't take it anymore. All the pain, the self-loathing, the darkness Bray saw in him...it was too much. If he couldn't be put out of his own misery then he had to get away from it.

"Dean..."

"I wanna...I wanna go home." Dean didn't know if he was talking coherently enough for her to understand. Not with the way he broke down and sobbed even harder than before. "I wanna go home. I wanna go home." He dropped his head against her chest, his shoulders shaking as he kept crying. He wanted to go home. He wanted to be back with Seth and Roman. They were all he had left. Maybe they would eventually get tired of him again, but this time, maybe he could stop making it worse and become what they wanted so they would choose to keep him instead. It worked with Bray so maybe it would work for them too.

He hoped anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only two chapters to go now...


	37. Chapter 37

"I wanna go home."

"You're not going home today Dean.

"I want to."

"You're not ready."

Dean pulled his legs up to his chest, glaring at Dr. Walsh as he did so. He was in a private session with her at her insistence. His late night breakdown hadn't given him what he wanted. Saying that he wanted to go home apparently wasn't good enough. Not for her. No, she was making it hard for him, which was not going appreciated. He was tired and sick and going insane in this place. The thought of spending just one more night alone in this place made him want to scream. He didn't even know what he would do with however many nights she was thinking. "Wanna go home. Why can't I go? That's what I want."

"And why do you want it Dean?" She didn't seem at all affected by his glaring. "Do you really want to go and start rebuilding your life? Are you ready for that challenge?"

"Can't keep me here. I can go if I want."

"Actually you can't. When you tried to burn down the house with everyone in it, you became a threat to yourself and to others. With that, you lost your ability to check yourself out of here when you wish. Roman and Seth can't even do it. I have to give the okay that you're ready to leave and I think we both know it's not true." She leaned forward in her chair, leveling him with a serious look. "You haven't really talked to them in our therapy sessions with them. You can barely even look at them. How do you think you're going to live with them right now?"

"I can be good." Dean rubbed his hands against his pants, stumbling over his words as he rushed to get them out. He could do it. He wasn't always good at it at first, but he could learn. He could get better.

Dr. Walsh sighed. "Dean, it's not a matter of being good. Roman and Seth aren't Bray. They're not demanding that you be a certain way to fit what they want. They want you to get better. They want you to be yourself."

Dean shook his head.

"Why are you shaking your head Dean?"

He shrugged.

"No. You know why you're doing it. What is it?"

He frowned, rubbing his palms against his pants once again. "Nobody...nobody likes me when I'm me. Mom, her boyfriends, my dad...not even Bray did. Why should Roman and Seth be different?" He saw her start to object and shook his head again. "They got sick of me before. I know they did. Everybody gets tired and they leave."

"You can't keep placing the blame on yourself for these things. Your parents, your mother's boyfriends, Bray - these were all very messed up people. As for Roman and Seth, you all had a hand in growing apart. You did push them away, and they let you become isolated from the relationship. It's something they want to fix, and it's something you're going to have to want to fix as well. You can't just settle for them because you're scared to be alone."

Dean chewed on his bottom lip as he stared at his hands. He couldn't offer much in the way of an argument. Maybe he knew she was right deep down inside. Or maybe he just didn't think she would understand. How could she? How could anybody?

"You have been through a lot." Dr. Walsh's voice was quiet as she spoke. "You've been through much more than just about anyone can imagine. And it's going to take time to deal with it all."

"So I'm never going home." He could barely choke out the words. Those scared him. God how they fucking scared him.

"I'm not saying that," she argued. "We all want you to be well enough to go home. But it's not right now. You have to stop trying to hide from everything that's happened to you. I know you've tried to bury it and there's no place deep enough to keep it contained. Not after whatever it was Bray did to you when he had you."

Dean gave his lower lip an extra sharp bite, the taste of his blood coating his tongue. He hadn't told her what had happened all those months he had lived with Bray. He hadn't told anyone about it.

"You have to make some kind of peace with it." She got up and grabbed a tissue from the coffee table that was between them. "You have to make some kind of peace with yourself." She walked around the table and sat down on the couch with him. "You have to be able to live with yourself." She tapped his chin until he stopped chewing on his lip. "You can't morph yourself into something you think Seth and Roman want." She pressed the tissue to his lip to stop the bleeding. "And you have to learn to communicate with them. I'm talking truly communicate, just like they will. No bottling it up inside, no pushing them away." She held the tissue in place, her other hand holding him by the chin so she could make him look at her. "If we can start making at least some progress then we can talk about going home, okay?"

Dean stayed silent as she let go of his face. His eyes went back to his hands, which he was still compulsively rubbing against his pants. He didn't like her answer. It scared him. What if there was nothing in him to rebuild at this point? Bray had taken everything and stripped him down until he was just the scared, helpless little lamb that he always wanted. Or what if he did rebuild himself and remained the person that pushed people like Seth and Roman away while letting monsters like Bray in? What if he went through all this trouble and nothing actually changed?

"Dean?" Dr. Walsh spoke again as he stayed silent. "Are you willing to try?"

He finally nodded. He wanted to go home. He wanted to maybe not feel like a total prisoner to his own existence. At this point he had nothing to lose anyway. He could try. It would make everyone happy with him anyway. Even if it didn't work, he could still appease them. That would be something at least.

* * *

"I want us to talk about Bray today."

Dr. Walsh's words didn't have the best of reactions. Dean, even with knowing it was coming, flinched. Seth and Roman meanwhile both glared at her. That wasn't a road either of them wanted to go down, even if they knew deep down that it was necessary. Roman wished they could just forget he even existed. Even just thinking about him felt like it was asking for badness.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Seth was the one to verbally object. He looked to Dean as he asked, who was picking at a loose string on his jeans.

"Yeah really." Roman knew he and Seth were thinking the same thing. What if that was too much for Dean? What if it set him back more than he already was? That was the last thing they needed.

"I think it's important for him to do so." Dr. Walsh wasn't about to budge on the matter. "Confronting what's been done to him is essential to him being able to heal."

It wasn't like she was wrong, but that didn't mean they had to like it. Roman grabbed Dean's hand and squeezed it. There was a moment where Dean tensed up, but then he relaxed and let his hand be held. Seth took that in and grabbed Dean's other hand. No tensing this time. Good. That was good.

"If you need to stop at any time just stop." Seth spoke in a hushed tone, though Roman was pretty sure Dr. Walsh heard him anyway. "It's a lot of shit with him. We don't got to cover it all today."

Dean just grunted and chewed on his lower lip nervously.

"I know we've talked about a lot of this before, but I think we should go over it again." Dr. Walsh ignored Seth and Roman's gazes to focus on Dean. "When Bray first came to you, it was when you were on the outs from Roman and Seth?"

Dean gave a short, jerky nod.

"When was it exactly?"

Roman still wanted to object and question how necessary this was. Especially if they were going over all of it. But he kept quiet. Maybe this really did need to happen, especially after the time Dean spent under Bray's spell. They did need to know if Dean was in denial about anything that had happened with Bray. Even if he wasn't openly crying for him like before, that didn't mean he wasn't still attached to the bastard. And if he was they had to know. They had to know if they hadn't gotten him away from that yet.

"TLC." Dean took his hands away from Roman and Seth to pick at his jeans again. "We lost the match against Punk. I was real mad and I wouldn't shut up." He looked back and forth between Seth and Roman. "You both left me there."

Roman winced and Seth turned his head. That they had.

"And he was...Bray was just...lurking I guess?" Dean shrugged, his words so mumbled that it was kind of hard to understand him. "And I didn't know what he wanted. "I didn't...I just...didn't think he wanted me."

_It was all moving so fast. Bray's lips stayed on his, not letting up for a single second. Bray's hands were all over his body, which shivered from the touch. They hadn't even really done anything, but it still almost felt too intense. Maybe it was because it had been awhile since he had gotten any kind of action. He wasn't getting along with Seth or Roman enough to get any action there. Yeah. That had to be it. He was just so horny and desperate that even Bray fucking Wyatt was an appealing option._

_"Fucking look at you." Bray finally broke the kiss to mumble the words against Dean's mouth. His hands busied themselves with yanking off Dean's belt and tossing it away. "Such a pretty little creature."_

_Dean snorted. He had never heard that one before. He certainly didn't believe the words. Bray was just saying it to get in his pants. That was it._

_"I've been waiting to get you all to myself." Bray was still talking. Dean somehow didn't find himself surprised by that. Bray didn't seem like the type to ever shut the hell up. "Now what oh what should I do with you little lamb?" His hands yanking down Dean's pants answered his own question. It was more than clear what he intended to do._

_"You got anything?" Dean swallowed hard, deciding to just say fuck_ _it and go with it. He could regret this decision later._

_Bray smirked and put his fingers up towards Dean's mouth. It_ _figured. Dean parted his lips, letting Bray shove them in. His tongue ran_ _over them, trying to get as much spit on them as possible. Bray watched him_ _intently, smirking the whole time. Dean was halfway tempted to bite his_ _fingers off. That would wipe that smug look right off his face. But for_ _whatever reason, he didn't. Maybe his own desperation just clouded his_ _judgment. Or maybe there was something in the way Bray looked at him that_ _made him stop. Bray looked HUNGRY for him. Bray WANTED him, like Seth and Roman used to. Only this seemed much more intense. Much more...fuck, he didn't even know._

_Bray took his fingers from Dean's mouth and reclaimed it with a brutal, sloppy kiss. Dean returned it happily, his legs spreading apart as Bray's hand went down between them. His fingers slipped in one by one, making Dean groan as they were worked in roughly._ _Dean busied his own hands with undoing Bray's pants, pushing them down just enough to get one hand around the other man's cock. He stroked it slowly, liking how the action got him kissed even harder. His head was spinning, and his knees were growing weak under him. It felt like a fire was sweeping through his whole body, threatening to consume him whole._

_Bray's fingers disappeared so he could reach down into his pocket and pull out the tiny, travel sized bottle of lube he had the whole time. Dean's eyes narrowed as he watched the cap being popped off. "Are you fucking kidding me?"_

__"What?" Bray was almost laughing at him._ _

_"I fucking asked you if you had anything."_

_"So?"_

_"You lied."_

_"I never said I didn't. You just assumed I didn't."_

_"Then why did you -"_

_"To see if I could."_

_The rat fucking bastard. Dean wanted to punch him right in his stupid face. But before he could do it Bray's lips were on his again, lulling him into forgetting that plan for now. He barely paid any mind to Bray pouring the lube on to his hand and coating his cock. He focused on the kiss, trying his best to sink his teeth into Bray's lower lip. Bray had already bit him and he wanted to return the favor._

_Bray's hands lifted him up and pressed his back fully against the wall. Their lips parted, their foreheads coming together now instead. Bray entered him slowly, though it wasn't really what Dean would call tender. It almost seemed like Wyatt was relishing the moment, though fuck if he knew why. He didn't let himself think about it for too long. Instead he just kissed Bray again, moaning as the other man started to thrust hard._

"I thought it would just be once." Dean switched from rubbing at his jeans to rubbing at his shoulder and collarbone. He wasn't even fully aware that he was doing it. It was a pure compulsion on his part, and this time Seth and Roman weren't trying to stop him. Not with what he was being asked to talk about. "I just...I don't know..." He chewed on his lower lip. The words weren't coming easy for him. He didn't like thinking about this. It twisted him up inside because he still remembered what Bray's touch felt like. He remembered his kiss. He remembered what it did to him and he didn't want to remember that anymore. Bray had hurt him. Bray had done terrible things to him and now he just wanted to forget.

Dr. Walsh gave him a moment before speaking again. "When did he start trying to get at you again?"

"Next night." Dean slipped a hand past the collar of his shirt, digging bitten down nails against his skin. "I didn't...not then." He swallowed hard, remembering how weirded out and ashamed of himself he had been. He told himself Bray had been a whackjob. He told himself that wasn't something he needed to get himself involved in. It was supposed to just be a one time mistake. He was lonely and tired and stupid. Stupid shit happened when he got like that.

"When did you?" Seth surprised even himself by asking the question. He didn't want to push Dean, but he still wanted to know. Things had spiraled out of control within just a couple of months of Dean and Bray being together. He couldn't help but ask how soon Dean had given in again.

Dean mumbled something they didn't understand.

"Dean?" Dr. Walsh was the one to probe.

"...After the Smackdown tapings." Dean felt his whole face turn red at the admission. "You didn't want to go out. Said we should sleep and shit cuz there was more tapings. You know, because we were taking the time off for Christmas. But I went out anyway. And he was there and he just...I didn't mean to listen." He swallowed hard and shook his head. "I didn't mean to. I didn't."

"Ssshhhh." Roman grabbed his hand once again and squeezed it tightly. "It's okay. Just breathe."

It wasn't okay. Dean should have known better. He fucking should have known better.

_Dean couldn't stop moving his leg even while he was sitting. He was at the bar, a bottle of tequila by one hand and the shot glass in the other. There was no way that this was a smart idea. With Christmas being the next week, he still had to get through a Raw taping the next day and then a Smackdown the day after. Running around and getting wasted was a stupid idea. Yet here he was, pounding back alcohol like a jackass. Oh well. It felt like he needed it more than sleep anyway. He had tried to get Seth and Roman to come with him, but they hadn't been interested. Roman was tired and Seth always bitched about going out when they had to work the next day. Dean had tried to just play off their refusal to go as no big deal. He really did. But as he sat there and thought about how they were probably snuggled up in bed together and how he had the adjoining room just for himself, it created a sting in his chest. He hated sleeping alone. It meant he got even less rest than he did if he was with someone else. But he was too stubborn and too afraid of rejection to ask Seth and Roman to let him share their bed again._

_"Hello darlin."_

_The sound of Bray's voice nearly made Dean fall right off his stool. He whipped his head to the right, finding that Bray had gone ahead and took the seat right next to him. Fucking bastard. he hadn't even heard him coming. "The fuck are you doing here?"_

_The rudeness of the question didn't make Bray falter at all. In fact, the smile on his face got bigger._ _"What? I'm not allowed to join you_ _for a drink?"_

_"Don't want your company."_

_"You were singing a different tune the other night."_

_Dean stiffened at that comment. That didn't take long. Not that he_ _was surprised. Bray had basically attempted to stalk him last night at Raw._ _"Look, that shit ain't happening again Wyatt."_

_"Oh it's not?" Bray looked so god damn amused by those words. Dean_ _considered punching him for it, but took another drink instead._

_"No. It's not."_

_"Then whose bed are you going to crawl into instead?" Bray tapped_ _his fingers against the counter, his head tilting a bit as he spoke. "It's_ _certainly not Seth and Roman's. They're much too busy keeping each other_ _warm at night."_

_Dean flinched. He didn't mean to, but it still escaped him anyway._ _It didn't go unnoticed by Bray. It was exactly what he was looking for and_ _it gave him the excuse to keep talking._

_"It's a crying shame that they don't seem to want a part of you_ _anymore. You three are supposed to be a team." Bray kept drumming his_ _fingers against the counter, looking at Dean like he was the most_ _fascinating thing he had ever seen in his life. "And I mean, you and the_ _little weasel were an item first. That brute was the one who was invited in_ _and what did he do? Help push you out."_

_"Shut up," Dean muttered. "It's not like that."_

_Bray didn't believe him. He didn't even believe himself. There was no_ _reason to. Not with the way things were going._

__"I'm assuming you didn't tell them about our little encounter."_ _Bray's eyes slowly moved up and down him, blue orbs gleaming with a sort of_ _primal need that Dean could hardly ignore. "If it makes you feel better I_ _didn't tell my boys either."_ _

_"Well thank god." Dean pushed the glass and the bottle away,_ _deciding he didn't need anymore for now. "I don't need the redneck brigade_ _knowing about my sex life."_ _He looked around the bar, trying his hardest to_ _ignore the fact that Bray's eyes stayed locked on him the whole time._

_"Do you like sleeping alone little lamb?"_

_Dean turned back to glare at him. "Don't call me that."_

_"Why not?"_

_"It's weird."_

_"I think it suits you." The way Bray said that made it clear he_ _would keep saying it whether Dean liked it or not. Bastard. "Does it hurt_ _to have them so close yet so far away?" He was still talking. Fucking_ _figured. "They seem so content without you."_

_"How the fuck would you know?" Dean was getting too defensive._ _There was an obnoxious whine that came into his voice when he got into_ _this mode. It gave away the fact that what Bray was saying was true._

_" _Everyone sees it." Bray kept right on going, not about to stop._ _"And even if they don't like your boys, they still think they're so good_ _together. They don't see you as anything." He leaned in close, making_ _Dean's breath catch as their lips almost touched. His eyes were locked on_ _to Dean's, filled to the brim with pure want. Bray WANTED him. "But don't_ _worry darlin." Bray grinned, knowing he won even before Dean fully_ _realized that he had. "I see you." He pressed a kiss to Dean's lips_ _before standing up. "Coming?"__

Roman stared down at his hands, too ashamed to make eye contact with anyone else. Of course it had been so easy for Bray to get to Dean. He and Seth had pretty much handed him over on a silver platter. Even with still working and traveling together, they had been a thousand miles apart where it mattered. He hated knowing that. He hated how he and Seth let it get like that. It wasn't like they had ever stopped caring for Dean. But the fact that they lost sight of it was something that he wouldn't ever forgive himself for. No amount of therapy in the world could settle the self-loathing that now bubbled in the pit of his stomach.

"Even before things got out of control with you and Bray, you still didn't tell Seth and Roman." Dr. Walsh kept her focus on Dean, who looked ready to nearly jump up and start running. "Why?"

Dean didn't want to talk anymore. He really didn't. But if he held back that would mean it would be that much longer before he got out of the hospital. And he didn't want to stay. He hated it here. He wanted out. He needed out. "I didn't...I didn't want them to look at me like...I dunno." He kept his eyes off everyone else, knowing he wouldn't find the words if he dared to look at anyone else. "I thought they'd leave completely. They didn't like Bray even before everything." He swallowed hard, hating how sick to his stomach he felt. "He was like me. Molded from bad stuff. He understood shit about me that they couldn't." He did steal a quick glance at Seth and Roman before looking back down at his lap. "It was more intense." He chewed on his lower lip until he felt Seth squeezing his leg as a signal to stop. "When I was with him I couldn't...I couldn't resist. And I didn't want them to know cuz I thought they would look at me like I was bad."

"And that still mattered to you? Even after everything?"

Dean just nodded. For as much as he may have ever resented Seth and Roman, as much as he actively pushed them away at times, the thought of them totally abandoning him had scared him badly. Even if they weren't perfect, they still hadn't tried to hurt him on purpose. They hadn't actively tried to push him down and feel like total dog shit. He would still make himself feel that way anyway, but they were at least decent to him. And that wasn't something he wanted to give up. Even if he hadn't (and still didn't) know what to do with it, he had been too scared to lose it by telling them about Bray.

_Early January 2014_

_Dean felt like he was going to die. He was on the floor of his bathroom, too weak to get up and drag himself back to bed. He had woken up sick as a dog, which was not how he wanted to spend his few days off. His fever was raging on, but he couldn't get up to the medicine cabinet to get his Tylenol. He had tried. He really had. But moving had made him sick and he was lucky to have even gotten to the toilet. He had thrown up everything in his system and then just heaved more after that. He hadn't even managed to flush the toilet after. Instead he just collapsed down, hoping that the coldness of the floor would soothe his burning skin._

_"Holy fucking shit."_

_How long it was before that voice came Dean didn't know. Time stopped having any real sort of meaning to him. It was all he could do to open his eyes and look up to see that Roman was kneeling by his side. "Wha..."_

_"You said I could stay over, remember? Because I had that convention appearance?" Roman put a hand on Dean's forehead and grimaced as his skin met hot, sweaty flesh. "God you're fucking burning up."_

_"Don't feel good," Dean mumbled. He tried to roll over so he could push himself up to his feet, but all he could do was moan miserably._

_"Here, let me." Roman carefully scooped him up and carried him back to his room. He set him down on his bed, getting him under the covers when Dean whined weakly for them. He kissed the side of Dean's head and went back out, staying gone long enough so he could get two Tylenol, a glass of water and a bowl of chicken soup._

_"Not hungry," Dean mumbled.  
_

_"You need something in you though." Roman sat down on the bed with him, pretty much pulling him on to his lap. "Mom always said medicine works better if you don't have an empty stomach."_

__Dean said something but he was too incoherent to even understand it himself. Roman didn't press him to repeat it. Instead he grabbed the spoon and put it up to Dean's mouth, getting him to eat a little less than a fourth of the bowl before he gave him the pills. He moved again long enough to put the bowl and glass of water on the bedside dresser before settling back down and letting Dean rest his head against his chest. It wasn't even an action Dean was really aware of. He was already passed out, a state he pretty much stayed in until the next morning._ _

_One week before the Royal Rumble_

_Dean woke up with a gasp, his blue eyes wide and fearful as he looked around the dark hotel room. The nightmare he had just had tried to replay itself in his mind, but he forced himself to push it away. Instead he just laid still, trying to get his pounding heart back under control. At least he hadn't woken up screaming this time. That at least allowed_ _him some sort of dignity._

_"You okay?"  
_

_Dean nearly jumped as Seth spoke. He looked over to the next bed and saw that the younger man had sat up to look at him. "Yeah," he managed to croak out. "I'm fine."  
_

_Even in the dark, Seth's eyes could still be seen narrowing in disbelief. He knew Dean was lying. He always did. Dean tried to ignore that fact and rolled over to his side. He didn't dare close his eyes though. He just stared at the wall, not moving until he felt Seth join him on the bed. "What are you doing?"  
_

_"What do you think?" Seth pressed himself up against Dean's back and wrapped an arm around him.  
_

_"You don't gotta."  
_

_"I know." Seth buried his face against the back of Dean's neck, placing a soft kiss there. In that moment, it felt like they were back in FCW, when it was just the two of them and they slept over at each other's apartments. "Just go to sleep. I got you."_

"Can you talk about when things started going bad with Bray?"

Dr. Walsh's question was met with silence. Dean wrung his hands together, his chest growing tight and making it hard for him to breathe. His anxiety still shot up despite knowing this was coming. He didn't want to talk about this. He didn't want to go through all the stuff that had come back to him. It haunted him enough as it was. He looked at Seth and Roman, who looked ready to tell Dr. Walsh no. That was what he wanted to happen. He wanted to be babied and protected because it fucking hurt even thinking about having to say it.

"Dean?" Dr. Walsh probed.

"Dude, back off," Seth snapped. "If he don't wanna say it don't rush him."

Roman nodded in agreement, his glare keeping Dr. Walsh silent for the time being.

Dean tapped his foot against the ground, keeping his own silence for a long time. He felt everyone staring at them, which just made him tap his foot faster. "I know what he did," he finally said. "I remember again. I don't want to." He tried to swallow past the lump growing in his throat, which was no easy task. "He took me from Vegas. Raped me on the way to the compound. Told me Roman and Seth didn't actually love me. That they'd leave me." His voice was growing shakier but he made himself keep going. "I believed him. I would try to say he wasn't right, but I believed him. And then they came for me..." He shook his head, trying to fight off the memories of the ugly confrontation that had happened between them and Bray at the first compound. He didn't want to think about how Bray had deliberately humiliated him for his own sick amusement. "I don't want to remember how he kept coming. He kidnapped me more, kidnapped Seth's family, nearly...he nearly killed me." He wrapped his arms around himself and squeezed tightly. "Us. Nearly killed all of us." He chewed on his lip again, not caring how sore and bloody he made it. "I thought it'd get better when he went in that coma. I thought I could get free. But I couldn't. He woke up and it didn't matter how much I wanted to be better. I was still...he still had me."

"Dean..." Roman tried to put his hand on Dean's knee but got rejected. "Dean please..."

"I fucked him." The confession flew out of Dean's mouth before he could think to stop it. That was why he jerked away this time. He didn't think he deserved the comfort. "When Jey and Jimmy and Naomi were supposed to be watching me. We were at a club. I slipped away. He found me. He handed me a piece of glass. Told me to kill him. And I...I fucked him." Hot tears slipped from his eyes, but he didn't bother to try to wipe them away. "I knew I shouldn't. I knew better. But it was so hard to keep him away. He slipped in and I let him fuck me in the alley like a two bit whore."

Seth and Roman were silent. Neither were surprised by the admission, though it did hurt to hear. They had no idea that Dean had a slip up of that magnitude.

"I'm sorry." Dean took their silence as them being too disgusted to form words. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm sorry please don't hate me."

"Ssshhh." Roman shook his head and placed a hand on Dean's back. "We don't hate you, okay?"

"Yeah," Seth agreed. He grabbed Dean's hands to keep him from rubbing or clawing at himself again. "Don't even think like that."

Dean closed his eyes, absorbing his comfort even though he didn't feel worthy of it. When he finally opened his eyes he did look at them. The hate and disgust he still expected to see weren't there. They just looked so concerned, and it filled him with relief. He didn't feel like he deserved it, but god how he wanted it.

"Can you tell us what he did?" Seth was the one to ask this time. He took the question right out of Dr. Walsh's mouth. "When he had you? the last time?"

Dean didn't immediately answer. He just looked around the room, hating how his body started to shiver uncontrollably. "He told me Roman was dead and that you'd hate me. He said everyone would hate me."

If Bray wasn't already dead, Roman would have gotten up then to find him and kill him.

"He took me to that house. He got unhappy with me because I didn't trust him or something. He took my clothes off, tied me up and he...he..."

"Raped you." Seth felt sick finishing that sentence. He didn't want to say those words. But what other ones could he say? Those were the only ones that possibly fit.

Dean nodded miserably.

"And then?" Roman almost didn't want to know.

"Left me."

"...Left you?"

Dean nodded again. "I was bad. I didn't trust him."

How keeping someone tied up, naked and raped was supposed to build trust Roman didn't know. And it wasn't the brand of logic that he wanted to get. "How long?"

Dean shrugged. "Don't know." He sucked in a shaky breath, nearly sick over having to remember this. "It felt like forever. I barely drank. Ate less. He would leave me and then come back to..." He let his voice trailed off, leaving everyone to get the picture. "Sometimes he was nice. Sometimes he wasn't. I had to forget." He sniffled and shivered again. "I had to. I just wanted to be good. I didn't want him to hurt me anymore."

Seth was internally dying on the inside, just like Roman was. Out of everything they knew Bray had done before, and out of everything they could have imagined, the truth felt worse than any of it. Dean had already been at his mercy, and Bray had used his fear of abandonment to completely break him. It was sick. It was twisted. And it was no wonder that this was where they were.

"I don't wanna talk anymore." Dean finally wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "Can we stop?"

"Yeah." Roman kissed the side of his head as he answered. "We'll stop."

"You did good." A ghost of a smile crossed Seth's face as Dean adjusted himself so he was laying with his head in his lap. He ran his fingers through Dean's hair, lightly scratching his scalp. "You did so good."

A sigh escaped Dean and for the first time in a long while, Roman and Seth got to watch as he relaxed against them.

* * *

There weren't more group sessions for awhile. Dr. Walsh still did one on one appointments with Dean, but when the three of them were together, she gave them a break and let them do as they pleased. None of them questioned it. They didn't want to. Dean was grateful that he didn't have to talk more about Bray while Seth and Roman took advantage of the time to be with Dean. They wanted to get to the rebuilding their relationship. They wanted to be stronger than they were before. They wanted to not be kept together because of the obsessive and deadly whims of a psychopath. Dean wasn't ready for anything remotely romantic but that was okay. He at least wanted them around now, which was more than enough for them.

The next rainy day saw them in Dean's room, the three of them watching the TV Roman had dragged along with them. He had also brought a DVD player, Point Break and Kevin, who was more than happy to snuggle right on Dean's lap. They were watching the movie, Dean sandwiched in the middle while Roman was on the right and Seth was on the left. His head was dropped down on Roman's shoulder while his fingers absently scratched Kevin behind his ears.

"Is Kevin still getting a friend?"

Roman blinked in surprise. Dean usually never talked during this movie. Hell, it was almost considered a sin in his book. "Yeah. When you get out of here we'll go pick him out."

"He wants a little friend," Seth insisted. "No big dogs."

Roman rolled his eyes. "Come on Seth..."

"It's true."

Dean looked over at him with a rather serious expression. "You're a weenie."

Seth gave him an appalled look.

"Doctor lady says we have to communicate."

"Who the hell uses the word weenie though?" Seth playfully elbowed him in the ribs. "Jerk."

Roman laughed as Dean pouted. "You kind of are a weenie though. At least about big dogs."

"Well gee, I'm sorry that I don't want one jumping at me or eating Kevin." Seth looked down at the furry lump who was still fast asleep on Dean's lap. "Fuckers."

Roman just laughed again and Dean elbowed Seth back before settling back in to focus on the movie. The grin on Roman's face refused to leave. This was nice. It felt like they were normal again. For the first time in a long while, it didn't feel like the effects of everything were still lingering on and weighing them down.

Maybe they could be okay after all.

* * *

More weeks passed. Dean still hated the hospital, but resigned himself to not getting out yet. Therapy sessions with Roman and Seth were back on, which wasn't so bad. They still hadn't left him, and in turn, his trust in them returned. It was his one on one sessions that he still hated. Facing his own private demons wasn't something he liked. Problems with himself had existed long before Bray, though their relationship had certainly made them worse. Breaking the pattern of self-loathing would be an ongoing process, even once he got out of there. It sounded exhausting just in theory, though truth be told, wallowing in it all was just as tiring. And Dean was tired of being so tired. He wanted to be okay. He wanted to stop taking things that had happened to him and twisting them back and making himself feel like they were his fault. It would only keep getting him in trouble if he did.

He was standing in the bathroom, staring at his reflection in the mirror instead of sleeping. This time it wasn't nightmares that was keeping him awake; it was just good old fashioned insomnia. He had been looking at himself for quite awhile, doing his best to like what he saw. His hair was growing out, his bangs nearly covering his eyes. Seth was trying badger him into letting someone trim it. His face was a bit fuller since he was actually eating again. His eyes, while still holding a bit of a dull look, didn't look as scarily vacant as they had when he first came in this place. He was looking okay at least. Maybe he didn't always feel that way, but he was at least looking the part. He figured that was some sort of start.

He reached out and traced his fingers against the glass. There was the temptation to punch it. He could punch it and not have to look back at himself. But he didn't let himself do it. Instead he kept running his fingers over the smooth surface, willing himself to not listen to the nagging voice that wanted to drag him back down. He knew he was still stained by everything that had happened. He always would be. He didn't think he could fight that. But maybe it could just be a faded stain. Instead of wallowing it or just trying (and failing) to bury it, he could let it go into the background. He could accept it and not let it take over him. Maybe he wouldn't ever love himself, but he could find a way to live in some sort of peace.

He stepped away from the mirror and trodded off back to bed. He laid there for hours, tapping his fingers as he waited for the insomnia to stop kicking his ass. He still didn't like sleeping alone. He still didn't like this stupid bed or this room or anything else. But when he finally did get back to sleep, he was able to get some rest without a horrifically bad nightmare jarring him from his slumber. And when he woke up the next morning, he didn't do so with the wish that he hadn't.

Progress.


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are. The final chapter. I want to thank you all for staying with me on this. I appreciate you all.
> 
> This was supposed to go up tomorrow, but with me having to work at 7 in the morning, I decided I didn't want to make you wait or have to rush and put it up before I left.

"Do you think a party is too much?"

Roman looked over at Seth, who was in the midst of a manic cleaning spree. Dean was scheduled to come home tomorrow and he wanted everything to be absolutely perfect. Roman wanted things to go that way, though he at least was recognizing the fact that Dean wasn't going to give a shit about how the house looked. But for all of his attempts to point that out, Seth was still going. Roman finally decided to just let it be. This compulsion was probably born out of nerves. Having Dean be as ready as he'll ever be to really be home had them both nervous. They wanted him back, but it had been so long that it felt like a strange concept. And it didn't help that they were scared of screwing this up. Dean was doing better, there was no doubt about that. But the walls he had put up throughout his life hadn't come back up after Bray had sent them crumbling down. He didn't have the facade of strength that he used to have. He was still very vulnerable. "When did we decide on a party?"

Seth stopped scrubbing the kitchen counter and looked back at Roman, who was sitting at the table eating a sandwich. "Well I mean, that was just me bringing it up." He put the sponge in the sink and took off the rubber gloves he had been wearing. "It just like, almost feels like we should do something really special for him. Show him that we're all glad he's home."

Roman thought that over. "I mean, I like it in theory. But I think that might be too much for him. He wasn't comfortable at parties before unless he could get drunk pretty quickly. I think it'd be more of an issue now."

"Oh fuck," Seth groaned as he realized Roman was right. "Fuck, I didn't even think about that." He walked over to the table and sat down next to Roman. "Fuck."

"I mean, I'm on board with doing something for him." Roman put down his sandwich and reached over to grab Seth's hand. "I think it's a good idea. Maybe we should just like, hold off on any kind of party. And maybe like, run any other plans by him first. See what he's comfortable with."

Seth nodded, accepting the idea. "Yeah. You're right."

"Aren't I always?" Roman asked with a playful grin.

Seth rolled his eyes. "Fucker." He pulled his hand out of Roman's so he could smack him upside the head. "I can think of plenty of times where you were wrong."

"Oh yeah?" Roman raised his eyebrows. "Name one."

"Remember that really shitty hotel you made us stop at when we got lost one night?"

Roman immediately winced. "Shut up."

"And the guy running the place looked like Ted Bundy?"

"I didn't even know what Ted Bundy looked like okay?"

"And there were roaches and a spider crawled on Dean's face and we spent like two hours trying to get him to finally stop freaking out?"

"Oh god." Roman shook his head. If he had only just heard about this story as opposed to living through it, he probably would have laughed. But since he had lived through it and almost had to drive Dean to the hospital to get sedated, the story didn't really have all that much humor. "Fucking awful." He grabbed his sandwich and started eating it once again. "You know what we could do though?"

"Hmm?"

"Pizza and Point Break night. He won't have to go out, but it's something we'll know he'll like."

"You don't think that's changed?"

"I don't think any amount of brainwashing in the world would actually break his obsession with that movie."

Seth let out a short laugh. "Good point."

* * *

Dean didn't sleep that entire night. He tried to. He really did. But he was nervous. For as much as he wanted to get out of the hospital, he had gotten so used to it that his aversion to change had flared up. It woke up his paranoia, which had him tossing and turning in his bed. What if all the trying he, Seth and Roman were doing wasn't enough? What if they found him to be too much to deal with? What if it ended in disaster and he really did end up alone? The whole line of thinking was not good for him. He knew that. But while he was doing better, he still slipped into that funk sometimes. Dr. Walsh told him that was to be expected. He had spent so many years stuck in that way of thinking that it would take a very long time to break that for good.

The minute he was able to he got in the shower, keeping the water as cold as he possibly could. He shivered the whole time, his body hating him for it. He didn't want the water to be warm though. Hot showers relaxed him too much, and without coffee or an energy drink to sustain him, an ice cold shower would have to do. Once he was out he quickly dried himself off and got dressed. The cold shower made him grateful that he had his old Shield hoodie to slip into. He pulled the hood over his head and pulled the sleeves over his hands, giving himself sweater paws. He felt better now. Not completely better, but the urge to jump out of his own skin had lessened. That was good. Baby steps. That was what he had to keep telling himself. Baby steps.

"Dean?"

Dean turned his head, finding Seth and Roman standing at his doorway. Seth had Kevin in his arms, who looked rather disgruntled about being held. "Hey."

"Dr. Walsh is filling out the papers or whatever." Roman smiled softly as he spoke. "We can just go by the door and get out of here once she gives the all clear." He walked over to Dean's bag and grabbed it without asking. "We were gonna get pizza for dinner, but we didn't think about lunch. You wanna us to stop somewhere on the way home?"

Home. What a fucking concept that was. The last time he had even been there he had nearly killed everyone. He didn't like to think about that. He felt really bad for that. They had talked about it and Roman and Seth said they forgave him, but that hadn't meant he had ever really forgiven himself. He wasn't sure if he ever would.

"Dean?" Seth frowned and stepped towards him. "You okay?"

Dean wanted to just nod. It was easier to lie. But he wasn't supposed to. He had to communicate. That was the lesson that had been drilled into his head. "I'm sorry..."

"You're sorry?"

"For the thing."

It took Seth and Roman a minute to figure out what he was talking about. "It's alright." Roman spoke first, throwing Dean's bag over his shoulder before offering his other hand out for Dean to take. "We've let it go."

"Yeah," Seth agreed. "It's water under the bridge." He looked at the tiny Yorkie in his hands and smiled. "Isn't it boy?"

Kevin just looked at all of them, his little tail wagging happily because all eyes were on him. Dean took him from Seth, hugging the little thing to his chest protectively. Kevin let out a short bark before tilting his head back and licking right under Dean's chin. Roman and Seth just watched him, letting him take the time he needed.

"Okay." He finally found it in him to speak again.

"Okay?" Roman prompted, wanting to make sure.

Dean just nodded. He was as ready as he was ever going to be. "Take me home."

* * *

They didn't even make it halfway home before Dean fell asleep in the backseat. He still had Kevin on his lap, who looked perfectly content to sleep right along with him. The bags under his eyes gave away how badly his insomnia was getting him again, so Seth turned off the radio to make sure Dean got his silence. The idea of grabbing something on the way changed without even being discussed. Roman had just given him a look and Seth had nodded in agreement. They could make something when they got to the house. They just wanted to get Dean home and into bed.

Roman carried Dean into the house while Seth got Kevin into the yard so he could go pee. Kevin took his sweet time, opting to chase a squirrel and fail to intimidate a passing golden retriever, who was being walked by his rather annoyed owner. By the time Seth was getting him back into the house, Roman had gotten Dean to bed and was starting to make lunch.

"What room did you put him in?" Seth asked as he gave Kevin a toy to go run off with.

"Ours," Roman answered. "I thought it'd be better. If he wants to sleep in the guest room later he can. But I don't like, want him to feel like we're making him stay there."

"Good idea." Seth leaned up against the counter, watching as Roman cooked them a couple of hamburgers in the skillet. "Should have made turkey ones."

"Hamburgers are meant to be with beef god damn it." Roman never budged on this subject. It didn't matter what Seth did or said on the matter. He finally just decided not to argue and grabbed a bag of chips for them to share. If he was going to cheat on his diet he might as well go full throttle. He could go and work it off later.

They ate in front of the TV, the volume turned down super low so they could hear Dean if he woke up. Neither one of them said anything, Roman choosing to wait until the dishes were in the sink before speaking again.

"Seth?"

"What?"

"You think we can be okay?" Roman looked uncomfortable with asking for the reassurance. Given the fact that he was typically in the whole protector role, he was the one usually doing the reassuring. But now as they stood there, he was the one who needed it. "I mean, I want us to be. I'll fight for it.. I just...I don't know. I didn't really think we'd get here. I thought we lost him." He looked completely ashamed by the admission. "I didn't like, want to admit it, but for awhile there, I just like, deep down thought he was really gone."

"Me too," Seth admitted. How couldn't they have had those thoughts? Bray's hold on Dean had been frightening. For all they had known Bray to be capable of doing, it still astounded Seth sometimes when he thought of all the things the bastard had done. How anyone could do those things to someone they said they loved was beyond him. "But he's not. He came back to us. And if he could come back from that, then I think we can be alright."

Roman just nodded, leaning forward to press a small kiss on Seth's lips. That was his way of saying thank you. Before he pulled away too far, Seth pulled him back in to give him one to say he was welcome.

* * *

Sleep. That was the main thing Dean did the first couple of weeks he was home. How he managed it he didn't know. Maybe he had spent so many sleepless nights in the hospital that not even his extreme level of insomnia could wake him up. Seth and Roman let him sleep for the most part, only actually waking him up if they thought he needed to eat. When he woke up on his own (whether it be peacefully or in a nightmare fueled panic), one or both were always nearby. Neither one of them worked on the main roster anymore. Both had gigs at the Performance Center, switching off days where they would go in and help train the new guys. They said the gig was officially temporary, though both said they were content to have it be permanent if need be. Dean knew he was the reason they had the gig. He knew Hunter and Stephanie were probably hoping he'd either want to get back to work himself soon, or be okay enough to function on his own so they could take Seth and Roman back on the road. He didn't know if he would be either of those things though. With them being home, it felt easier to breathe. He could drift into a nice, contained peace and live simple. Eat, sleep, watch TV or a movie, play with Kevin - most of his days went in this cycle. The order of it would change, but the spirit of it stayed the same.

"Do you ever miss it?" Seth asked one day. Dean had been home about a month and a half, and this trip to some Crossfit gym was one of his very rare adventures out of the house. Roman was working, which left the two of them to their own devices. Seth had asked if he would mind coming with him while he worked out. Dean hadn't been thrilled over the idea, but today was a day where the urge to be good and obey made him lie and say that it was fine. That was bad. It was bad to lie. But Seth was happy and the gym was mostly empty, which made it not so bad. Dean could sit on the floor and fiddle with Roman's I-pad in peace, which was nice.

"Miss what?" Dean didn't look up from the game of Candy Crush he was playing.

"Wrestling." Seth sat down next to him, all sweaty and shaky from his workout. "Do you miss it?"

Dean froze. He hadn't actually put any thought into it. He paused his game and chewed on his lower lip, taking time to really think about it before finally shaking his head.

"No?" Seth sounded surprised by the answer.

Dean shook his head again. He finally looked at Seth, who was definitely wanting to hear the reason why. "I...I can't give them what they want. The fans, Hunter, Stephanie, Vince...I can't give them stuff that's not there anymore. And I think...I got used to not wrestling. I got beat up for ten years. It's kind of nice to not wake up and having my back hurt or having my knees be locked up or something."

Seth didn't push the matter further than that. Instead he snagged his bottle of water, watching Dean as he went back to playing his game. They only stayed about another half hour before Seth took them back home. Dean waited until the younger man was safely in the shower before letting out his sigh of relief.

* * *

"Oh my fucking god." That was all Roman could even think to say. The search for a friend for Kevin had landed them in the animal shelter, where Dean and Seth had both completely fallen in love with a six month old Shar-Pei puppy that had been abandoned by its owner. Seth had wanted another Yorkie like Kevin, while Dean had originally tried to say he wanted a Saint Bernard (though Roman suspected he was just doing it to be a butthead to Seth). That had all changed once they caught sight of the tiny little wrinkle monster that was supposed to e a dog.

"Come on Ro, he's adorable!" Seth's already nasally voice was taking an extra high pitched.

"He's got more wrinkles than my grandpa."

Seth looked absolutely aghast by his statement. "This dog is a magnificent ball of cuteness. He is not like your crusty grandpa."

Roman's eyes narrowed. "My grandpa's not crusty."

"Oh yeah? Prove it."

Roman rolled his eyes and decided to not even keep up this stupid argument. Instead he reached forward and scratched the little puppy behind his ears. Dean was holding on to him, clearly getting more attached to the little guy by the second. "What should we name him?" He wasn't going to say no. Even if Seth and Dean hadn't clearly agreed on this little guy, the way the pup had come so easily to Dean and won him over would have made Roman say yes on the spot.

"Cujo." Dean answered. His tone left no room for discussion.

Roman looked to Seth, who just shrugged his shoulders. "Don't look like a Cujo to me, but I don't really care that much."

"I like Cujo." Dean was muttering more to himself than him. "I always wanted a Cujo."

"Minus the whole rabies thing though, right?" Roman said hopefully.

Dean frowned. "Rabies?"

"...Dean, you do know the actual story of Cujo, right?" Seth asked this, but it was clear by his tone that he already had guessed the answer.

"No. I just saw it on the book and thought it was cool." Dean frowned even more as Roman and Seth just stared at him. "I don't like to read guys. It was hard for me when I was a kid, and then you know, I just never got into it after."

"And you didn't even see the movie?" Roman couldn't even believe this was the conversation they were having.

"Nope. And I don't care." Dean held Cujo up triumphantly as he glared at them. "His name is Cujo. Now just suck it."

Seth rolled his eyes and Roman just grinned. That snippet of the Dean he used to know was more than enough to make him agree to the Cujo name.

* * *

"Are you sure you're okay with this?" Seth asked yet again. The three of them laid in bed naked, the room dark save for the moonlight coming in through the window. Seth and Roman both over hovered over Dean, who felt entirely too small and anxious underneath them. How they had gotten to this point had been a blur. They had met up with Roman's family for some birthday celebration, all of them having a little too much to drink. Seth and Roman always got a little handsy and horny while drunk, and tonight hadn't been an exception. Dean had gone with it, knowing he used to be the same way. If he hadn't been drinking while mad he was more that way than them actually. And he had wanted that back. They hadn't had sex in all the time he had been home. It wasn't something that had come up. He didn't even think that Seth and Roman had been doing it during the rare times they were alone together. The almost raw desperation of their kisses pointed to them being sex starved at least.

"Dean." Roman's voice pulled Dean from out of his thoughts. "Talk to us."

Dean swallowed hard. He found himself nodding, all while trying to ignore the uncomfortable knot in his stomach. He wanted to want it. He really did. It wasn't nice knowing that the last person that had touched him like that was Bray. He wanted to have that erased. They had done it before for him.  _It's Seth and Roman_ , he reminded himself.  _They won't hurt you._

Seth and Roman looked at each other, seemingly trying to make some sort of decision between themselves. Seth made the move, leaning down and placing a trail of kisses all across his neck. Dean tried to take slow, deep breaths, wanting to calm down and relax. But every kiss was another shot of pure anxiety. His heart kept pounding, going so hard that he could feel it in his throat. It didn't matter that he knew Seth and Roman wouldn't hurt him. It didn't matter how much he used to love sex. Now his stomach twisted in on itself and he wanted to throw up.

"That's it." Seth pulled away and shook his head. "Roman hit the lights."

Roman did just that. Dean's reaction had been enough to sober them up somewhat. They retrieved their boxers from the floor and put them on before grabbing Dean's for him. Dean closed his eyes, not wanting to take them. He felt just as sick for not being able to do it as he was when he tried. He felt stupid. It was Roman and Seth. He knew they weren't Bray. He knew that even at their worst, they had never done anything to remotely hurt him like that. But something in him couldn't get it. Even when Bray hadn't raped him, sex had been used as manipulation. It had been used to keep him in his place. Be good. Obey. Do the one thing that even he couldn't screw up.

"Dean can you talk to us?" Roman tried asking again. He had put aside Dean's boxers and instead pulled the blankets up to cover him. "Please?"

Dean swallowed hard and opened his eyes. They were looking at him in such concern and he still felt so fucking bad. "It's not you," he finally managed to say. He made himself it up and pulled the blankets up more, shivering even with them over him. "It's not...I just can't." He kept looking everywhere but at them, knowing he couldn't handle eye contact. "I know you wouldn't like, you know...I just...I can't." His voice cracked, his eyes burning with tears. "I think he finally hurt me too much. I can't like it anymore. Not now. Not with anyone." He finally chanced a look up, pleading with them to understand. He didn't know how else to articulate it. It wasn't them. He didn't want them to think that it was them. "I'm not lying. I'm not. It's not you I'm not lying I -"

"Hey hey hey." Seth grabbed his face with both hands to make him stop. "We get it. Don't worry about it. It's alright."

"We don't want to push you," Roman added. "We'd never do that to you."

Dean just nodded, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. "You guys can still do it if you want." The offer felt silly, given that he had clearly broken the mood. "I won't get mad. I don't wanna anyway it's not like you'll be leaving me out."

"We're not doing anything right now okay?" Seth smoothed down Dean's hair before snagging the TV remote. "We'll just put something on, okay? Just until you go to sleep."

The rest of the night saw Roman put on The Avengers, which he and Seth ended up falling asleep towards the end of. Dean didn't mind. He had the remote for the Blu-ray player and just replayed the movie, feeling okay enough being sandwiched in between his boys.

* * *

A week before Dean's birthday the Cincinnati police department got in contact with them. His mother had been found dead in her apartment. Years of drug abuse had made her heart give out on her. The news had been met with indifference by Dean. He hadn't wanted to hold a funeral or even go put the ashes anywhere. Dr. Walsh tried to encourage him to, but he had shut her down. She had never been a mother to him. She had left him to be hurt and to rot. Going back to lay her to rest wouldn't give him peace. It was best to just feel nothing for her instead of stirring up old feelings of anger. Roman and Seth took his side on the matter. Dean was doing okay as he was. Maybe he wasn't who he was when they had met him, but he wasn't the shell of a man that they had found in Bray's clutches. He could smile. He could laugh again (not often but it happened). The destructive self-hatred that had consumed him before seemed to be at bay.

A few days after they heard on the news about a family who had been burned alive by their foster child. To Dean, Roman and Seth's collective horror, the child in question was Isabella. The picture they kept showing of her freaked them all out. There was something so overwhelmingly Bray like in her eyes that it was scary.

"Where do you think they'll put her?" Dean asked. He was holding Cujo in his lap, petting him so he wouldn't rub at himself too much. Roman shrugged. "I don't know. It depends on if they think she's old enough to put on trial like an adult."

"They could decide she's like mentally ill and put her in an institution," Seth pointed out.

Dean frowned, a very bad thought popping into his head. "What if she gets out and decides to kill us one day? You said she knows where we

live."

Roman froze uncomfortably and looked to Seth.

Seth sighed. "Well, I definitely think we'll be moving before that shit happens."

Dean and Roman had no objections to that plan.

* * *

_"Do you know what day it is little lamb?"_

_Dean shook his head. He was laying flat on his back on the bed, his naked body shivering from the cold. He wanted the covers back over him, but didn't dare ask. Not when Bray was hovering over him, looking at him so hungrily. Whenever he wanted him, he wanted to see every square inch of him._

_"This is the day you were put on this earth." Bray kept himself propped up with one hand while the other slowly traced over Dean's face and body. "You were thrown into a pit of liars and sinners. You were left to rot and suffer until I found you." He rested his hand over Dean's chest, smiling as he felt Dean's heart beating. "You were made to be mine. And now here you are."_

_Here he was indeed. Dean surged his head upwards, kissing Bray eagerly. He liked being Bray's. He liked that Bray never left him alone. He liked that Bray saw something in him that made him want to keep him around. He liked -_

SMACK!

"Stop it." Dean muttered under his breath after delivering the blow to his own face. "Fucking stop." He smacked himself again, the sting of it finally driving the thoughts of Bray out of his head. He was standing in the bathroom, collecting himself a bit before he went back out to join the party. Seth and Roman had begged him to let them throw him a proper birthday party and he finally had agreed. He really hadn't had one before. His birthday had either gone uncelebrated, or he had just gone out to get drunk. There had never really been a party for him.

"Yo Mox, the girls are gonna steal your damn dog!" Sami's voice nearly made Dean jump out of his skin. "You might want to get back out here!"

"AJ no!" Dean rushed out of the room, nearly knocking over Sami on his way down the stairs. AJ (who was the ringleader of this steal Cujo movement), Paige, Brie, Nikki and Tamina were on the living room floor, playing with Cujo, Kevin and Josie. His yell had made them all look up, AJ pouting because he had singled her out.

"Why do you always blame me?" The whine in her voice made them all wince. "I"m not the bad guy!"

"Except you are this time," Nikki pointed out.

"Uh, excuse me, you were the one who said you wanted to eat Cujo. I at least was going to keep him alive and not digested."

Tamina sighed loudly. "Guys come on. Don't start this."

"Fucking eat or steal my dog, you die." Dean folded his arms over his chest, his eyes narrowed angrily. "Got it?"

"But what if he wants to be stolen?" AJ asked. "Then can I?"

"No."

Cujo barked in agreement before running over to Dean. Dean smirked triumphantly and picked the pup up, sticking his tongue out at AJ as she flipped him off. The Bellas and Tamina rolled their eyes before making AJ turn her attention to the dogs they still had. Dean wandered away from them, trying to find Roman and Seth. He ran into Daniel, Cena, about three fourths of Roman's family, but no Seth and Roman. He frowned, passing up the cake that Roman's mom tried to force feed him in favor of stepping outside. There he found Roman trying to wring out his shirt, which had gotten soaked somehow. His pants weren't any better, but he was just keeping those on. Seth was laughing his head off, the sound of his cackle making Roman's little cousins laugh as well.

"What happened?" Dean asked.

Roman glared at Seth. "This son of a bitch thought he should shove me in the pool."

Seth just kept laughing, tears nearly running down his face. Dean tried not to start laughing himself. He wanted to be supportive of Roman. But Roman looked like a giant wet dog and the laugh escaped him anyway.

"Oh nice. That's nice." Roman dropped his shirt down on the ground. "You think I won't get you guys, but I will."

"Oh yeah?" Seth had to be the one to challenge him. "Try it."

Roman was on him in an instant. He threw the younger man over his shoulders and carted him right to the pool, not affected by the kicking or squirming Seth tried to use to wriggle free. Dean laughed as Seth got dumped right in the pool, his body doubling over because Seth's squawks were just too much. He let Cujo slip from his grasp, the puppy going off to play with the kids that still lingered around.

"What are you laughing at? You don't think you're gonna get it too?"

Dean stopped laughing, his eyes growing wide as Roman started to approach him. "No no no don't you - ROMAN!" He tried to run. He really did. But Roman caught him easily, scooping him up and dumping him right in the pool right alongside Seth. Even with it being a warmer day, Dean completely froze on the spot. Roman hadn't turned on the heater they had for the water. "Oh my GOD!" Dean swam to the edge, getting out as fast as he could. Seth was already out, his body shivering as much as Dean's was.

"I get wet, we all get wet." Roman folded his arms over his chest. "You hear me?"

"I hate you," Seth said miserably.

"You started it!" Roman reminded him.

"I'm gonna die," Dean moaned. "I'm gonna get hypothermia and die."

"Oh no you're not." Seth grabbed Dean by the arm and lead him to the pool house they had just recently built. "I worked too hard on this party to let you just die during it."

Dean made a face, but let Seth pull him inside the little two room house all the same. It had a couch, a TV, a bar, a fridge and a little bathroom in it. Seth sat him on the couch and went into the bathroom. Dean shivered, glaring at Roman who came in to join them. "Not nice Rome."

"Sorry." No he wasn't. Roman plopped down next to him and put an arm around him. "Couldn't help it."

Seth came back out with three towels. draping one over Dean's shoulders while throwing the other in Roman's face. "Jesus." He got his wrapped around himself before sitting down as well. "We're gonna have to walk through the house soaking wet."

"Should have thought about that before you pushed me in," Roman pointed out.

"It was a joke!"

"Well I didn't find it funny."

"Well you're just a son of a bitch."

Roman just shook his head and put his hand on Dean's leg, giving it a good squeeze. "You okay?"

Dean just nodded.

"You sure?" Seth had to ask now. "Party's not freaking you out, right?"

"No." Dean leaned over to rest his head on Seth's shoulder while his hand rested over Roman's. "It's good. Best birthday I've had in...ever." He closed his eyes, missing the looks Seth and Roman gave each other. His head was peacefully quiet, making him smile softly. No Bray, no bad thoughts, no crippling insecurity - they would probably come back later, but for now he was good. And that was a victory he was more than willing to appreciate.

 


End file.
